Julie's Journey

Here we go again

2012-01-31T13:29:00.002+11:00

I am having trouble with blogger. I thought about starting another blog and now cant get rid of it. I have gone into settings and deleted it but it is still there. Hovering in the background like a no longer welcome guest at a party. Damnation why am I so challenged.

Tired today. Sydney weather is the pits at this time of year. Hot and humid. Everything is an effort and sleep is nearly impossible. I want M to put in ceiling fans in the bedrooms but he is resisting saying they keep him awake. Comes down in the end to - does he want a cranky tired wife or would he prefer sleep. His choice.

J swam in a harbour swim on Australia Day. 2.2 kms in choppy water. Did it in 35 mins. Her first open water swim in a long time. She is now all enthused and is doing the Cole classic this Sunday and another one in March. She is also booking to do the Kokoda Trail in June/July. Boundless energy.

Now some housekeeping - Linda I will get to your tag. I dont mind doing them but have trouble responding to them but I will try.
Anne I cant seem to get into your blog again. Maybe I have forgotten something. Entirely possible. Will check my emails to see if there is something in there to jog my memory. Faintly remember something.

Had trouble with my knee again in Queensland. I actually think it was because I hadnt been wearing my orthotics as I was in thongs a lot. Became so painful that I couldnt lie on my side with my knee resting on the bed. The only position that was painfree was on my back and that of course let to snoring. Fun times had by all. Dr put me on prednisone as she thought it was an inflamed tendon. Between that and the orthotics fixed itself really quickly. I had put off going to the drs for a couple of weeks as I thought I might end up in hospital again and I dont want to do that. Silly I know, the damage I was doing could have led to greater problems. Still get twinges now and then but generally okay.

Tried to go swimming yesterday. I dont remember if I swam overarm last year after my back operation but the pain that occurred after swimming half the length of our home pool was horrible. I think M thought he was going to have to rescue me. Breaststroke was okay.

Am going back to yoga tomorrow night after fourteen months or more off. Am going to take it very very slowly and not push myself and see if I can last the term this time.

Weight is blah. Goes up and down like a yoyo. Am trying to track using Weight Watchers but it is so disheartening. I am in minus points this week but that is to be expected if you saw the photo of my brunch on Australia Day on Facebook. Even the days that I think I am doing well are not great when I total up the points.

Weight Watchers weigh in is tomorrow morning. I have been weighing myself everyday and recording on an iPhone app I think is called Weightbot. That is a big wake up call. It tells me that for my height etc I am overweight. Nifty little graph which bears the bad news every single day. LOL. Maybe the wake up I need. Don't want but need.

Enough rambling have a great week. back to work I go
xxx

Things I Know

2012-01-06T11:45:00.002+11:00

Linking up with Linda today and trying to insert an actual link for things I know.

I know that I am blessed with my life although I bitch and moan about weight, health etc. I have a great family, both immediate and extended, good friends and of course my gorgeous little dog. (What kind of post would I do without at least one mention of her.)

I know that I live in the best country in the world.

I know that decisions that I make this year will just be for me and no one else.

I know I want to be more mobile and that means other things have to go for a while. Not for ever, just for a while.

I know that I have to eat slower - meal times are not a race (which by the way I always seem to win).

I know that my two words for this year, courtesy of Nadine (and I can't find that link), will be - BE POSITIVE.

I know that I am going to take steps to stop procrastinating about things and get out there and do things.

I know that with your help I will be focussed and if I'm not, its nobody's fault - least of all mine but I am, as sure as hell, going to try to remain focussed and upbeat.

Happy New Year and may 2012 be everything that you want/need it to be.

xxx

A glass half empty

2012-01-03T07:38:00.006+11:00

We had a wonderful Christmas and a lovely new year, all the food is just about gone, mainly to my hips and middle.

Now as the day of reckoning is fast approaching I have to face the fact that my weight is still inching up - most of my clothes don't fit me and I am not good at tracking or saying no. Not helping is the fact that my left knee gave out on me a couple of days ago and I couldn't even stand up. Liberal application of ice and painkillers has helped and I am trying to rest it. I don't remember hurting it but hurt it I have.

I am definitely in a glass half empty frame of mind. Social occasions coming up are being viewed as another opportunity to fail due to not being able to say no. My prob I know. It is a mindset that I have to get around somehow.

J has separated from her boyfriend* of 6 years. They are taking a break. If it goes further it will be messy and difficult to untangle their lives. They are both dreadfully upset. Just sitting tight and waiting to see what is going to happen. He has become part of our lives and we are quite fond of him. Sigh.

Even though I am on holidays I have to go and do a first aid refresher course this week. If I leave it until I am back at work my certificate will have expired and I will have to do the whole thing again rather than the refresher. I will take a day in lieu in February when we go to Kiama for the rugby 7s rather than use my long service leave.

Summer has finally arrived in Sydney. Gorgeous days, hot, bright blue skies and still not too hot and humid at night.

A funny thing happened the other day at a friends place where we were having dinner. I went to stand up and the pain that shot up from my left knee was unbelievable. I actually couldn't support my self - friends swung into action with ice packs etc and after a while the pain was bearable. I don't recall hurting it, it could be the extra weight I am carrying at the moment. It had been niggling for a couple of days when I was walking - it hurts when I start but goes away after a while. I know I should go to the doctors but every time I go something bad happens so I will rest it a bit and see what happens. Perhaps try some swimming as a non weight bearing activity.

I bought some new Nike sneakers after Christmas. I bought them from US. Even with postage they were cheaper than the ones I bought here. I ordered them on 27 December and they arrived on 30 December. I was amazed.

I have to downsize my spending this year. I am calling it my practice year for retirement but I am not all that sure I am going to retire in 2013. I change my mind every week.

I hope 2012 is a wonderful year for everybody.

xxx

*I usually call them partners because I feel that boyfriend/girlfriend doesn't cover it but a couple of times lately people have picked me up on it saying partner is not correct. Whatever.......who cares!

It's Backkkkkkkk

2011-12-07T11:14:00.003+11:00

Was it Jack Nicholson in the Shining. Wish I could type it with the right inflection.

That 1.6kg I lost last week is back. I am so over everything at the moment. I was hoping to be in the 60s before Christmas - looking doubtful.

Last week:
Virtually no tracking
3 Lucy walks and 1 gym session
Alcohol - best we not dwell on that one

It spite of all of the above I can fit into my work pants but they produce such a muffin top that I could get a job at Muffin Break. Tried them on this morning and quickly took them off again before anybody saw me and back on with my rolltop yoga pants.

Am trying to write down what I eat today without entering into computer. Hopefully at the end of the day I can enter it and see what happened. I think that if I don't enter everything straight away I cant see how badly I may be doing and then I stop tracking. Does that make any sort of sense. It sounded okay in my head when I was thinking about it this morning.

I also have been thinking about Obsessions for want of a better word. I really want to travel but I love my home so much and I think that is the problem. I am one of those compulsive people who likes everything in its place and when you are travelling nothing is in its "right place" and it drives me crazy. Plus leaving Lucy is heartwrenching for me. I always enjoy myself when we are away doing whatever but am really really glad to get back home again. Renovating also drives me mad because once again everything is not in its right place. I guess I have developed a series of coping mechanisms over the years so that I dont seem like a complete looney. Spur of the moment plans are not great with me either but I try.

Moving right along to things I love
The smell of books - new or old doesnt matter
My hair straightner - it allows me to have longer hair because it used to be short so that I could keep the curl/wave out of it - now I just straighten it everyday and although I know it is just in my mind, I feel better with myself.
A new notebook - I love opening a brandnew diary or notebook - it is a new beginning.
New purses, shoes, handbags, lipsticks and watches - Trying very hard to curb the wants for these things.
Smells - bread baking, fresh coffee, the smell of the earth after the first shower of rain, lawn when it has just been mowed, gardenias which are now all coming into flower, the red rose in my front garden, so many things to mention - this list just goes on and on.
Did I mention my hair straightener.
Oh, nearly forgot - Lucy the wonderdog. The "no strings love" she gives is priceless and such a wonderful stress release to have this small bundle of fur launch herself at you when you walk in the door. You'd think you had been gone for days by the welcome you get.

J's 27th birthday today. It has all gone so quickly. She is a beautiful, strong and talented woman. I am so proud of her and what she has achieved. That said, there are still times I could happily strangle her but she is my bestie and my baby.

On the first day of the school holidays (end of work now only 2 weeks away before 5 weeks break) we are having a day together at the zoo to see the baby tigers and all the other babies that have been born. Hope the weather is good. Going to Forsyth's in Naremburn for coffee first. Will have to arrange another day in the city shopping with lunch at DJs and definitely a visit to Zaras.

G has moved in with his girlfriend and everything seems to be okay. She is a lovely sweet generous person but this is their second attempt at going out. Maybe this time, now that they both are a bit older, it will work out. He is happy and that is very important.

I am aiming for more exercise this week - I have increased gym session to twice a week and mixing it up a bit with cardio and weights. I have got to tone up a bit. The overlaps are not attractive. Did I mention that this is one of the things I hate about getting older. I aim to walk Lucy at between 5 and 7 times depending on weather.

M is pottering along in retirement as usual. He has now agreed (well sort of) to do the vacuuming every week because it puts a strain on my back. Either that or the dyson has to go and we get a lighter vacuum cleaner. He is a much better vacuumer than me so it has been a win win situation. Two weeks in a row - am going for three - no use in overplanning and him thinking that I am taking him for granted/or advantage of which of course I am.

Oh well, back to work - 14 more sleeps and then holidays, then Christmas, then New Years then Queensland etc etc etc.

Thoughts all over the place....grasshopper mind strikes again

2011-11-28T13:11:00.003+11:00

Let's get the business over and done with.

Lost 1.6 kgs this week BUT this is probably a false reading as I have had another tummy upset over the weekend (my third in 7 weeks).

Exercised with two Lucy walks and one gym session. Been appalling weather here last week but has returned to fine and sunny so we did start the week well this morning with another early morning walk before the heat and humidity kicked in.

Four no alcohol days.

The tummy upsets are limiting me a bit. Might be I am eating too much fruit but it is summer, or nearly, and the fruits are just amazing. Don't think it is anything more sinister unless M is trying to get rid of me.

Talking about M, because the weather was terrible on Saturday morning, raining and windy and therefore no golf, and because I was not feeling great he did all the vacuuming for me. He does such a great job. I wish he would do it every week. Maybe if I turn around three times and click my heels together this wish will come true. Here's hoping.

It was a nice weekend - dinner with old friends who seem to be forever travelling since they have all retired. The three of us worked (I still do) for the education department which was how I met them and we take turns arranging a dinner every four months with our other halves who luckily get on well together as we make them sit down one end so we can catch up. One of the other couples has just got back from South America and are off to Europe next March and I think the other couple is off to either Europe again or Canada next year too.

Went back to the podiatrist last week and he checked my feet again. I have decided that when my care plan runs out I will still keep going to him because he has made such a difference to the amount of pain my feet give me. He assures me that he sees worse feet than mine.

In between the nausea etc I was feeling on the weekend I managed to get some gardening done. Found three enormous and beautifully camoflagued grubs on my basil so hopefully that will stop the carnage that has been going on. I kept feeling ill so at one stage ended up lying on the back lawn watching the clouds go past in a perfectly beautiful sky. Something I dont think I have done since I was young.

I have moved my yoga mat from my car boot to the family room. It has lived in the boot for about a year (since before my last back op). I have bought some things to hopefully refocus me and I will let you know how they go and as I have said before when I work out how to put links in I will link to Nadine's blog so that you can see what I am talking about. That probably doesnt make sense but I am running out of time and must get back to work.

Kids and their partners coming for baked dinner tonight as usual.

Goal for this week is to aim towards preserving a healthier me. Thinking maybe a naturopath?
Carpet gone from bedroom completely along with all the nails and tacks that took him hours to get rid off. Makes such a difference and I think my breathing has improved greatly at night in bed. Sinuses not giving me as much of a problem. Lucy having trouble slipping and sliding a bit when she jumps up on and down from the bed (naughty spoilt much loved dog).

Planning started towards trip to Qld in January. Linda, will be in touch when I have firm dates to see if you are free.

Have a great week.

A year ago

2011-11-21T09:21:00.005+11:00

This weekend was a bit of a disaster. It isnt called yo yo weight for nothing - back up 400g this week.

Goal update:

Managed 3 days with no alcohol (should have been four)

Four Lucy walks plus one gym session (Missed a walk)

No tracking after lunchtime on Friday until this morning (this has to stop)

Just looked back at my WW online and exactly a year ago I was 1.8kg lighter.

I returned to this time last year on my blog too.

My back was really giving me a lot of trouble.

A friend has just suicided. (There was actually a rememberance ceremony last Friday for her which I went to for a little while - still miss her)

I had to get to work early this morning to open up for one of the consultants who is running a staff development day here today. Up at 5.30 - walked Lucy - at work by 7.30 and boy am I tired. Here it is Monday morning at 9:45 am and I want to go and lie down for an hour or two and I cant stop yawning.

Carpet is coming up in the bedroom today I think. I don't know how M is going to do it by himself but I am glad I am not there to watch or hear it.

Update: 9:47 am and Carpet has gone. Yay!

He is also redesigning our built-in wardrobe and has been harping on about my shoes and how I possibly couldnt need all of them. He is right but it is something I am not ready to tackle yet so I have dug my heels in (no pun intended) and told him to back off.

I wish everything would just go away and leave me alone. (I think that is the tiredness speaking.)

Having a blood test today to check out my thyroid and going to the podiatrist later this week to check out my feet. I have 5 visits under the care plan and the first one made such a difference to the pain in my feet.

Also going to get my hair cut tomorrow. Think I have had enough of trying to grow it.

This was a really pretty moth that came to visit on the weekend. It was on the deck railing and obligingly waited for me to get my camera and take a photo. Good moth. Dont you love the lacy pattern on its wings.

Anyway, I cant blame anything or anyone for my gain this week unless of course it is myself. I am feeling a bit down but it will pass.

Walking Lucy this morning was gorgeous. Cool before the humidity kicks in again, nobody but the two of us, so I could let her off her lead for a little sniff and run. Mark has clipped her a lot over the weekend because she has been really suffering and while she looks a little strange she is much much happier being a shorthaired dog.

This week will be better. I will try and remember all the things that I know about why I am doing badly. I will exercise more, drink alcohol less and try to keep an accurate record of everything for 7 days. I may not succeed but I will try. Hope your week goes according to plan too.
:)

Visitors from last week

2011-11-14T12:21:00.009+11:00

These were the visitors from last week.

This is the first echidna I have seen close to the building.

The water dragon is a regular visitor. He sits on the huge rock outside in the garden and holds court and does push up (maybe a courtship thing). His chest goes bright red when he does. Very entertaining.

Well good news for this weeks weigh in this morning.

Lost 700g of the yo yo weight again.

Re the goals:
Had four alcohol free days but I think I made up for it on Friday and Sunday nights. Got to work on that aspect. No wine while I was cooking dinner was hard and felt very righteous that I made it. LOL. Such a twit.

Walked Lucy four mornings and managed a session at the gym doing upper body weights.
Am behind the eight ball this week as I didn't walk her this morning.

Damn what was the other thing. Just let me check.

Oh yes, tracking - Good for four out of seven days. Some improvement needed.

No carbs as in bread at lunch on five days. So a tick there as well I think.

Now down to life's nitty gritty:
J is home from Canada. I am so so happy. The daily multiple phone calls have started again and she even visited yesterday and I didnt care that I had stacks to do, if was just so nice to sit and have a cuppa and gossip. They are all coming for dinner tonight. Hopefully the promised southerly will hold off just long enough that we can sit outside and have dinner.

G is thinking about or should I say has decided to move in with his girlfriend. Slightly freaking out (him not me) because it is a big step. We'll see how it works out. He had to grow up one day.

Nothing much else - have decided to rip up the carpet in the bedroom. There are old polished floorboards underneath and I think I would rather have them then carpet. Especially old dusty moth eaten carpet. We will see how we go and either end up replacing the carpet or repolishing the floor when we repolish the rest of the house.

Everything is going well at the moment and I am very thankful. Let's hope that the weight thingy keeps going down. Silly season fast approaching and I am very susceptible to the silly season.

Have a great week - off to eat another salad - this one with corn and chicken and mayo.
Yum Yum

Lunches and other things

2011-11-09T13:29:00.006+11:00

This was today's lunch. My lunches this week have basically been the same. Points free salad - carrot, tomato, lettuce, herbs, mushrooms, cucumber, capsicum and onion. The protein changes - sometimes chickpeas or chicken or ham or egg or fish. The dressing changes but I try to make it as fat free as possible. Oh and I occasionally add a small tin of super sweet corn. No bread of any sort. Third day in a row.

No wine for two nights so far but I am sleeping so badly. Will persevere but am looking forward to Friday.

No exercise this morning because I slept so badly last night but am going to the gym this afternoon for some upper body weight training IF there isnt a storm and I dont have to rush home to placate Lucy.

Yesterday was a problem. Am tracking as best I can and can now see why I am putting on weight rather than losing it. I think when I was going through the Breakfast King, Lunch Prince and Dinner Pauper phase I was eating enough points at breakfast to last the whole day, nearly.

Actually thought about ringing my surgeon today to ask would it be okay to start running on a treadmill. Luckily commonsense prevailed. BUT I really really miss running. I've tried running in the pool but it is not the same.

I am very grateful that I can still walk and that is something hugely to be thankful for.

After talking about the brush turkey on Monday, guess what? A baby turkey turned up this morning in the garden outside my window. So so pretty and cute and so little. They are virtually self sufficient from the moment of birth and there he/she was scratching around in the garden like a grown up. Five minutes later a goanna walked passed so hopefully he got away. If I can get a picture I will.

I am half way through the last school term of the year and it is hump day. Bonus!
Enjoy yourselves.
PS - Am not going anywhere near the scales until next Monday although it is so tempting to check.

Wasn't me, did you see me?

2011-11-07T12:54:00.005+11:00

I just wanted you to know that I am still in denial. LOL. At least I recognise it. Is that a good thing or a bad thing?

More weight crept on this week. Can no longer get into my work trousers without them attempting to cut me in half and doing myself a very very nasty injury. Am wearing my Bonds roll top yoga pants to work. Thank god J is in Canada and cant see me. Boy would I be in big trouble. She hates me wearing them if we go shopping. It's always "put some jeans on......"

Okay am going to try a few steps:

Tracking - I hate it and have great trouble doing it but I will try at least until some control comes back into my life.

Wine - Am really really going to try and limit my intake to four days off/3 days on. I know that I probably should try to abstain completely for a while but I think I would be just setting myself up for failure.

Carbs - Have to cut them back, a lot. What was I thinking?

I think it is amazing how clever I am at justifying eating and imbibing as much as I have been lately. The old chestnuts such as I deserve it because I work hard/feel like crap anyway/a small treat wont hurt etc etc etc. continually revolve around in my mind. I am so good at it.

Lately I have not been able to do much housework or gardening without starting to feel dizzy and sick. Lots of short breaks need to be taken usually involving lying down. As you can imagine everything takes an eon to do. It is the pits feeling like this. Everything becomes a chore including the work I am actually paid for. I think I went MIA last Friday as when I came into work today I realised all the things that I should have done on Friday and hadnt. Luckily I play catch up well but I was so annoyed with myself.

Anyway enough whining about me, things in general:

The next lot of renovations have been put back until early next year because the builder is running behind again. Oh well.

J reckons she is staying in Whistler but she is coming home on Friday. She loves it so much and I have explained that holidaying in a place is different to living in it but you sometimes can't tell these younguns anything. Miss her so much although we facebook and skype continually. Here is what she saw on her bike ride this morning.

I saw a brush turkey at the end of the street on Saturday morning when I took Lucy for a walk. I see them all the time in the national park and their population has increased dramatically in the last couple of years with the demise of foxes but this is the first time I have seen them this close to home. I am not too sure I want them in my garden as they absolutely destroy everything when they build their nests but it was a novelty. We actually have a nest next to the stairs at work and national parks have meshed it to stop people walking through it to get to the public toilets. Interesting to see if we get to see any babies.

Anyway, have a lovely week and I hope there will be less of me next week and I can stick to this plan this time. I hope you all can reach your short time goals too. Let me know what they are for this week.

Accountability

2011-11-01T13:03:00.002+11:00

I hope that I too can be accountable to myself on this frustratingly long journey.

I didnt realise how tired I have been until M asked me would it be okay to have some people over on Saturday night. He was checking because he knows how tired I have been getting. Bone crushingly tired by the end of the week and the end of the week seems to be coming earlier and earlier.

Am off to GP today to talk to her about it. I wanted to go last week but she was away. I need to talk to her about the blood test from a few weeks ago re the anemia. I came to the realisation that the call I got from the rheumotologist's reception was very unsatisfactory and answered none of my questions except that it wasnt caused by lack of iron. I can't believe it took me weeks to realise this - I can be such a drongo. A friend suggested I get my thyroid checked out too so I will ask. It is lovely having friends in the same age bracket - we all seem to be going through similar things.

Made a couple of small changes this week - forced myself out of bed on both Saturday and Sunday (with the mantra in my head that I could go back there once I got home again) and Lucy and I went walking. Just short walking but I was mobile. This is probably the first exercise I have done in nearly 7 weeks due to the tendon damage that I think I did. Just took time and rest to heal itself. I will wear my MBTs again but maybe not on my Lucy walks which is a shame because they did make me feel like I could walk forever. It is such a lovely walking motion but anyway, preservation has to come first. We have also walked both mornings this week too.

I am going back to the gym again tomorrow afternoon after work and will start doing upper body work mainly. Only once a week to start with. I think I did too much last time and really paid the price of sore and overworked muscles. Time to find a happy medium.

Weight has still been climbing. I know I have been eating too much again. I was fooling myself that I would have a big breakfast, a medium lunch and a small dinner but it never worked out. And I have to stop snacking because I dont have that stop mechanism that most people have. I am sure sometimes I could eat until I exploded, patch myself up and come back for more.

On the home front: M is still wearing himself out sanding the deck back and restaining. I dont quite know what all the rush is about unless he knows something that I don't. Anyway he off to the Hunter tomorrow to play golf.

G is starting to make serious noises about his new/old girlfriend. Maybe second time around they will make it.

J is in LA at the moment. They spent yesterday at Venice beach and the sights had her wishing that she had brought her SLR. She absolutely loved the place even though I remember it as a fairly tacky place. She probably sees it through different eyes. She is a really good photographer and takes some amazing photos. She had a great time in Las Vegas and went for a helicopter ride over the Grand Canyon. She is off to Vancouver in a couple of days. She has heard from her friend there that it is snowing in Whistler so she is looking forward to that. She absolutely loves what she has seen of the US and is talking about her and Marc going back there in the future and visiting the east coast.

In general: I just read the eulogy by Mona Simpson on her biological brother, Steve Jobs. It was so moving and if I knew how I would put a link in here but I sure that if you are interested you will be able to find it. It appeared online in today's edition of the Sydney Morning Herald.

Today is Melbourne Cup day! If you have a bet or are in an office sweep I hope your horse does well. It really is the "race that stops a nation". Have you ever driven on the road when it is on. The place is like a ghost town.

Enjoy the rest of the week - I am going to start adding links to my posts next week to others who have inspired me and why. That is as soon as I work out how.

Take care

AWOL

2011-10-24T11:52:00.002+11:00

I am a bit AWOL at the moment. Feeling tired and a bit grumpy. Talked to a friend who is a nurse last night and told her what happened with the results of my blood test for the anemia which was actually nothing really. The specialists secretary rang me and read the report to me but couldnt actually answer any of my questions. Perhaps I am just a bit too accepting of things. I should have insisted in speaking to the doctor. Anyway I have made an appointment to see the GP next week so will talk to her about it. Don't know what it is but cant seem to get motivated and I should be because it is spring and everything is green and lovely.

Ankle is okay. Some degeneration in the other ankle joint (there are apparently two) but he doesnt want to do anything about that until he absolutely has too as if the second joint is fused it will make the prosthesis fail. Oh joy.

Weight gain this week which I guess just goes with the mood. So today, have started again. Put the biscuit barrel away at work - you know out of sight out of mind.

J is on restricted duties until nearly Christmas. God I hope she is okay overseas. If she stuffs it up completely it could mean a hip replacement. Someone should outlaw snowboarding.

G is having relationship issues once again. He is a bit of a sunshine sucker - love him dearly but he is so much like my beloved Dad. Always seems to see the glass half empty rather than half full.

M is still enjoying his retirement. Sanding the back deck back at the moment and restaining it. He is like "pigpen" from Snoopy. Seems to be encased in a cloud of dust all the time. He is loving this wonderful weather but there is a cool change on the way tonight so hopefully this doesnt interfere with his home handyman plans.

Strange things are happening at work. Nothing to do with me but impacting on me.

Enough doom and gloom. Going to get stuck into some jobs that I have been putting off. The dreaded filing as I can't seem to find anything when I need it and I might even get a look through my intray.

Hope that your week is bright and sunny.
xxx

Back again

2011-10-17T13:24:00.002+11:00

Spoke to soon last week.

Last Tuesday night was hit with a full blown gastric bug. Unable to get out of bed the next day and lost over 2 kgs in weight in a 24 hour period. Of course it has nearly all returned. Drastic way to lose weight though.

In my bid to make sure that the specialist doctors in NSW dont go without - I went to dermatologist on Friday morning and everything is AOK there and now dont have to go back for 18 months. (Woohoo - I may nearly be retired in 18 months, or maybe not.) Had coffee with Jess, did some shopping and got some Bond's Tshirts at 40% off. They are such nice Ts and they are getting hard to get for some reason.

The afternoon brought a CT Scan and then walking the local shopping mall looking for a present for an 18 year old. Luckily Jess had done some advance legwork and found a perfume she liked, sent me a picture of it so that eventually when I ended up back at DJs just showed the perfume lady the picture and bought it. As she said, I wonder what we did before all this technology! Also bought some more bras (30% off) and found some more Ts at 40% off. Except for the fact that my feet were killing me it was a very successful shopping trip.

The 18th birthday party was at Tumut which is about 4.5 hours south of home. So on Saturday afternoon, after golf of course, we set off. Got there about 5 pm and headed straight to the pub to meet Mark's brother.

Back to the motel to get changed for the party - fancy dress of course. Had to be something that started with a letter of the birthday girls name. I went as a MasterChef complete with apron, potmitt and teatowel, Mark went as a Mexican with a striped poncho and sombrero. The hit of the evening in my eyes was his 70 year old brother whose wife managed to talk into dressing up as an elf/leprachaun coomplete with red tights and pointed ears. I loved it and so did all the little kids.

Home the next day in time for the RWC semi final. So sad for the Wallabies. I am sending them some of Linda's love, hugs and positive energy. At least rugby is now over for us until next year. Congratulations to the All Blacks - you played superbly.

Jess has found out that she had a stress fracture in the pelvis. I can't believe it. She probably ran the city2surf with a fractured pelvis. Nothing much can be done. Just rest for 6 weeks - not too much walking, no running etc. Not good news as she leaves for the US on Thursday week and trying to keep her still has always been nearly impossible. She can swim because it is non weight bearing so she will have to expend some energy that way. If she is not careful it might collapse completely and she will need a hip replacement and I will kill her.

Taking my scans to the ankle surgeon tomorrow morning. Hopefully the news is good and it is/was only tendon damage and I can start walking and gyming again.

Have a great week and hopefully I will catch up with your blogs soon.

A hopefully short post

2011-10-11T13:11:00.002+11:00

I realised today that it has been three weeks since I last checked in. Today is the the day from hell back here at work. Have been flat out all morning and then realised that I forgot to join a conference call this morning. Have apologised profusely and asked to be included next time. Where is my head at the moment?

The holidays were lovely - well kind of.

Had a lovely birthday - three full on days. Thank you to all who sent me messages on facebook and emails. Family bought me a new espresso machine, coffee bean grinder and some coffee beans from an apparently special coffee place in Naremburn. My sisters gave me pandora charms for my necklace which was lovely. Also had dinner at Epoque at Cammeray. Chilli mussels - yum my favourite.

My girlfriend and her husband had flown down from Queensland especially and we had a wonderful time. On Saturday we had lunch in at the antipasto bar in DJs in the city, then shopping and I even managed a visit to Zara, something that I have been wanting to do for a while. It was packed and I will definitely be revisiting some time soon. Girlfriend's husband came with us everywhere, carried parcels and never complained once. He really is a patient lovely man.

We dropped them back at the airport on Sunday afternoon and then came home to prepare a sausage sizzle for a group of friends. Nice night but was really really tired by Monday.

Monday started with sore throat and sniffles and then progressed into full blown cold. Ended up bedbound later in the week. Just couldnt be bothered. So annoyed that I had to spend my holiday sick. Back at work now but still not too well.

Bone scans and xrays have been done but I have to go and have a CT scan on Friday as surgeon wants to make sure that the thing that is now my ankle has become dislodged. It definitely isnt as sore as it was but still swells. Also went to the podiatrist and he has definitely helped with the pains I had in my feet too.

Jess has been having really bad pains in her groin and went to physio but it wasnt getting any better. She thought she had hurt herself when she ran the city2surf. She went to a sports doctor today and he had xrays and scans done but couldnt see anything. He kept saying that he was sure she had a stress fracture in her pelvis so she is now going for an MRI. Just had a call from her - she suddenly remembered that she did have a fall when she was snowboarding and maybe, just maybe, that was when it all started and running has just made it worse. Cranky daughter is not happy as it is 2 weeks until she leaves for US and Canada. Here's hoping that she will be okay. Me, I'm worried about whether it will affect my being a grandmother eventually. LOL.

Short post my foot - I'm off - I have work to do.
Going to try and do this more regularly - want to ask advice about diet but have run out of time.
Take care.

Why Does this Happen?

2011-09-21T09:27:00.002+10:00

I really need to talk about this hence the second post this week.

Yesterday was a really blah day for me.

I guess it was depression in some form. I felt so down and exhausted. I ate everything in sight. I don't really know what triggered it.

I did think about what was happening to me and possible reasons. The main one is the threat of my ankle really being trashed this time and another operation looming and a secondary one is that I was just getting back into the swing of exercising again and now nothing. I know exercise makes you feel better - endorphins etc and I love doing it.

I have pulled myself back - really there are so many people worse off then me.

I am going to take some painkillers at lunchtime and go for a little walk around the picnic area in the national park to get some sunshine.

But if you have any thoughts on this I would appreciate them.

WARNING - Weight Hazard

2011-09-19T13:13:00.003+10:00

OK I am officially declaring the Rugby World Cup a weight hazard!

How am I going to survive 6 weeks or maybe only 4 now of partying (yes yes I know I have nothing to celebrate at the moment), drinks, dinners, nibblies and generally having a great time. This is really rhetorical as we all know what I am going to do - drink, dine and eat in no particular order. Oh well it only comes around every four years thank goodness.

After all that, and in spite of that, I managed to reclaim 600g of the yo-yo weight last week. By reclaim I mean gone again. I am trying to eat sensibly during the week with a meal plan etc etc but on the weekend that meal plan opens the window and flies away so I was glad the scale movement was down again when I had been thinking it was going to be up.

The weather in Sydney is warming up and is glorious. Haven't had a jumper on all day.

Can't remember if I mentioned it last week but my ankle is playing up again. I think I did. Went to GP and she has referred me on the the ankle surgeon again who I see on Tuesday week. Hopefully it is something that can be easily fixed with physio or something like that. But as a result there has been no exercise at all done for nearly two weeks. I have thought about walking Lucy and taking my phone with me just in case I needed rescuing. The pain can be quite a lot or hardly at all. I don't know why. By the end of the day yesterday my right ankle looked enormous.

Also back to see the rheumotologist tomorrow. Hopefully I can stop taking some of the tablets. I think the rash I have got is from the plaquenil - similar to the rash that methotrexate gives me and is driving me slowly crazy. Also hopefully not anemic anymore so can stop the iron tablets too. I'm a walking timebomb at the moment but doing my bit to keep doctors in gainful employment. My GP has put me on a care plan again so I am off to see the podiatrist again and hopefully he will be able to help me with my feet too at minimal cost.

Work has only a week to go, and then holidays for two glorious weeks and more practising for retirement.

Hope everyone has a great week - I intend to.

Excuses Excuses Excuses

2011-09-12T12:13:00.002+10:00

Not really, no excuses.

After weeks of carefully planned eating and exercising, the sabotage fairy hit back with a vengenance. Serves me right for feeling smug and in control.

Two days at a conference in a beautiful hotel in Darling Harbour with an overnight stay and all the trappings including a dinner were just the beginning. Who knew I could eat that much food - well really I did but I conveniently forgot it at the time.

Have done something to the foot which had the tendon repair and ankle replacement. Can hardly walk at the moment so Lucy and the gym are once again on hold. Appointment with GP today and another appointment with specialist in two weeks time just to make sure I have not done permanent damage that will require another operation. Christmas is coming and all that (Mark will kill me if I am on crutches for another Chrismas) but I think everyone else is getting used to seeing me like that. Meanwhile am trying to rest it as much as possible. Have a horrible feeling it might have something to do with the MBTs but cant say for sure. They are so comfortable and I love walking in them but maybe I overused an already sick tendon.

Rugby world cup started on Friday night and we went to friends for a homemade pizza and wine night. Damn there I went again.

Saturday night was a 30th birthday party for another friends son and boy did they have great fingerfood and lots of it. Actually was so full that I had to turn some down. Not like me at all. Also there were bowls of soft lollies (snakes etc) on each table and I actually wrestled one of the husbands who tried to take it away. Comical but sad.

Yesterday wasnt too bad but the damage had been done. Stepped on the scales this morning with eyes squeezed tightly shut. Didnt make any difference - the gain was 1.4kgs. Isnt it amazing how quickly it comes back in just 4 out of control days. No really it is amazing.....oh okay, it is pathetic.

Anyway back on track this morning - the planning, the water etc. Mind you we still have a few of weeks of rugby world cup to go but I am going to try and make it through.

Now the good news - Lucy has started walking up steps, sometimes. She is getting better and we are desperately trying to make sure she doesnt overdo it. Mark has thought about ringing the vet to see if he could have some of the injections that she had as they seemed to do the trick. That and an awful lot of spoiling from us. I wouldnt mind having the injections either. I might mention it to the rheumotologist when I go to see her next week.

The weather has turned freezing here again. Really need some warmth soon.

Have a great week - onwards and downwards!

What a Drag it is Growing Old (thanks to rolling stones)

2011-09-06T10:04:00.001+10:00

Another 700grams gone this week. I can see it has gone from my face but not the places I want it gone from. It is so frustrating. Used to be so much easier when I was younger. Let this be a warning to all you young-uns!

Last night on FB M alerted us about the interview on ACA (I think) about three former contestants of Biggest Loser and what had happened to them since the show. Someone provided the link and I must say that I was shocked. These people have put the weight back on and in some cases more. They were talking about having a packet of timtams with their coffee and buying a cheesecake and eating it by themselves in one go and semi-blaming the show because they didn't get enough support after the show had finished. While I don't think the show is perfect, it could have been the perfect springboard to a healthier life if this is what they really wanted. Stop making excuses and just do it. As a person who could be a world champion procrastinator if I really tried I know how hard it is. But you just have to make choices and one of my choices is that I don't have the food in the house that I love because I know at low moments I would be eating it with no regard to the damage that I was doing. It is hard work but most of us care about ourselves and treat our bodies well.

Spring has sprung in Sydney and the days are glorious again though they are threatening thunderstorms later today. Light enough in the mornings now for Lucy and I to walk. The sun was this enormous bright red ball this morning. Makes you realise hos lucky you are to be awake at that special time of the morning.

A brush turkey has made a nest near the front steps at work. The scourge of gardeners because they ruin gardens he is fine in the national park. Although the female was there the next day haven't see either of them near it lately so perhaps it was just a practice one. Might not be warm enough to form the incubator they need.

Mark is slowly rebuilding the back steps. I think he is enjoying the challenge most of the time although the air does turn blue occasionally. He made the North Shore Times last week with a article on his family's history on the North Shore. Picture of his Dad working the the family butcher shop was printed too. My goodness I can tell where the boys get their good looks from.

Lucy is better but still wont go up the steps at the back. She has started umping up on the lounge again occasionally. Maybe the warmer weather is helping her too.

I am off to a conference at Darling Harbour for the next two day. Get to stay in the city overnight and go out to dinner as well. Looking forward to it although we will still be working hard.

Have a great week everyone.

PS Endoscopy last week showed that the ulcer had finally healed although I will have to keep taking the medication because the other medication is what caused it and I can't stop taking that or I will seize up. Don't have to have another endoscopy for a year. Good times

Quick one

2011-08-30T12:59:00.002+10:00

This was last week's post - have only just discovered it didn't get published. So here goes

I have to get back to work so this has to be quick.

Lost 1kg this week.

Much as I hate the term "mindful eating" (see last week's rant) that is what I did on the weekend.

Had friends over for dinner and rugby on Saturday night so had a light lunch and tried to minimise what I was eating at other meals on the weekend (except for sunday morning which traditions says is the heart-foundation breakfast with all the trimmings).

The weekends are usually my downfall so was not expecting that this weekend would be any different. Pleasantly surprised by scales.

Lucy is getting better slowly. Still wont do the back steps which is making my back ache but now goes up and down the front ones okay. Mark has actually demolished one set of steps out the back to make way for new ones.

My house is a continual building site. I wonder what he will do when everything is up-to-date. Probably never happen will it?

For some reason my hands have gone blue and I have lost feeling in my finger tips on my left hand which is making typing hard. Strange - not that cold here today. Better go and get a warm drink to warm my hands on.

Have a great week and take care.

Mindful Eating

2011-08-23T13:29:00.002+10:00

Mindful Eating - This term, used by people annoys me immensely. It sounds so smug. Do they think that most of us are unaware that our eating habits could be improved either a little bit or immensely. Minor rant is over.

Well I lost 700g this week. Followed propoints quite well, drank less alcohol (notice I said less and not none) and tried to drink 2 litres of water each day. It was a hectic weekend with Thai food on Friday night - Thai food really isnt all that calorie friendly and then as it was Mark's birthday on Sunday with lots of food and alcohol and much laughter and good company I was surprised on Monday morning to see the scales down 700g.

Exercise is okay as usual. I am just so grateful to be able to move that it isnt really an issue. When I feel like I want to stay in bed of a morning instead of going to the gym I remind myself that the day will come again when I cant exercise at all and that spurs me on. It is getting lighter in the morning (before daylight saving kicks in again) so I will be able to walk Lucy before work rather than after work which I prefer.

Not much else to report. Thinking about going north in a month or two for a little while to feel some warmth again. Tired of the rain. They keep promising that the weather is going to warm up/fine up but it never seems to happen. Or maybe I just have a short memory.

Have a great week - hope there is less of me next week when I check in again.

Another Monday another new start

2011-08-15T08:59:00.004+10:00

Last Monday's funk only lasted the day.

I spent hours at the opthamologist and I have never had so many eyedrops put in my eyes but everything is okay. The blurring is just old age and normal. Back on the plaquenil again.

I stayed the same weight this week and I am really going to try to not have a drink Monday-Thursday. Mind you this is my mantra every Monday morning LOL. I am exercising moderately every day.

Bought some new shoes for the gym. Nikes Lunarglide - black with bright pink and blue on them. Wore them this morning and it felt really strange not to be wearing white sneakers - I don't know why. Must go back to podiatrist and get new orthotics made as it has been a while.

Going to get some new gym clothes soon when spring comes and as a treat when I reach a certain goal. May never happen.

Jess ran the C2S yesterday. She was going to walk with a girlfriend but as Mark said, she wouldn't be able to stand everyone running past her - especially fairies, gorillas, bananas and assorted superheroes. She ended up running the whole way. Even though she is fairly fit I bet she will be a bit sore tomorrow.

Am aiming to walk the C2S again next year. If my body is my temple then it is time I did some temple renovating and the City to Surf is going to be my goal. That and not going to hospital this year or next.

(Don't you love Mondays - everything is new and shiny and nothing seems impossible.)

Lucy is getting better. Can now get up and down the front steps easily but the back ones are still a problem. Hopefully in time she will regain the strength in her back legs. She stands at the bottom of the steps and barks for a lift and when you go out to bring her in she sidles up against you into the lift position and waits to be lifted. So cute.

A while ago I bought a pair of the MBT shoes for walking. I have been wearing them around the house and out shopping but yesterday afternoon I wore them on my walk with Lucy. I felt like I was walking with springs on my feet - the rolling motion is really quite pleasant - but I could feel myself using muscles I don't usually use. It was only a short walk and I will keep increasing the distance as I get more used to them.

Well that's about all the news I have. Not terribly exciting at the moment. Big weekend coming up with dinner with friends on Friday night and then Qld friends coming to stay on Sunday night while they are in Sydney. Just by chance it is Mark's birthday so having them with us that day (and night) is a special treat but I know that the diet will suffer again. I really do have good intentions but deep down I think I am a foodaholic. I find it totally irresistible:)

There was something else but I have forgotten what it was.
Have a great week......

Blue Funk

2011-08-08T09:22:00.002+10:00

Blue Funk - Def. disappointed feeling, dismay

That's me today. I am in a blue funk. Didnt sleep well last night, couldnt be bothered going to the gym this morning, everything is just too hard.

Scales also told the tale - a gain of 400g I think. Here we go again, gaining and losing the same weight week in week out.

It's the weekends that I find the killer.

I dont want to work anymore either.

I want to stay home.

I think I need sunshine. Definitely dont get enough. Stuck in an office all day and then it is cloudy and rains on the weekend.

Over winter.

I think I am like this every year about this time. Must look back and see what has been happening at this time of the year in previous posts. One of the good things about a blog.

Off to opthamalogist at lunchtime and have decided I am not coming back to work. Have lots of sick leave so will take some and might try to fit in that missing gym session.

Lots of reassessing to do.

Okay hopefully have got that out of my system. Love you lots - thanks for listening.

Week One done and dusted

2011-08-02T11:56:00.002+10:00

Well I made it through Week One. I was really really good for 6 days and 22 hours but those 2 hours on Sunday night nearly undid me. Isn't it amazing that such a short amount of time can undo all the good stuff you have achieved during the week.

We went to drinks on Sunday night and initially I wasn't going to go but Mark wanted me to and I know I really cant be antisocial just because I am trying to lose weight but I am hopeless when it comes to nibblies. Did I say nibblies - I don't know what came over my girlfriend because I know she is worried about her weight too - the short list of what she supplied was

mini spring rolls (at least baked not fried) with sweet chilli dipping sauce

honey and soy chicken drumettes

a cheese platter - lots of different types plus the saving grace of strawberries

Cheds biscuits

mini salmon rissoles with a relish

I came home and cooked Mark dinner and didn't bother with me because I had eaten heaps and really I would have just been eating for eating's sake if I had had dinner.

Okay, the bottom line was, even with that car crash on Sunday night, I lost 1.3kgs last week.

I did some form of exercise 6 days last week - not strenuous but still got me moving and motivated.

Off to the doctors today - have been having trouble with blurring vision lately - mainly when doing office work or reading. Seem to be squinting a lot. Had my eyes tested by optometrist three weeks ago but he could see no discernible changes in my prescription and then suddenly remembered what the rheumotologist said when she prescribed some extra medication to see if she could get the swelling down in my hands - this medication can affect eyesight. So rang yesterday morning and left a message for her and her reception rang back and said stop taking medication immediately and see my GP at my earliest convenience. Don't quite know what GP is going to do but have stopped taking the medication and am off to the doctors this afternoon after work. Hopefully it is not permanent damage.

Counting down the minutes to lunch time - have a great week everyone.

False Starts

2011-07-26T13:08:00.002+10:00

False starts - what I seem to be particularly good at when it comes to my weight. I have crept back up into the 70's again and my body is starting to ache again with the combined extra weight and the cold that I am finding particularly difficult to bear this winter.

Yesterday another start - sorted out some menu plans from the weight watchers site, adjusted them for my needs i.e. no dairy etc (something I have not been policing very well lately and am paying the price for), shopped for produce and started yesterday. I love the fact that although Mark has seen me start this jurney many many times he is so supportive in a quiet way - he wants what I want for me and tries his best to help me.

After our heart to heart talk a month or so ago about the grumpy old man syndrome, he has been so much nicer to be around and I can feel his approval most of the time. It is nice to not be taken for granted.

Blood pressure has been raging lately so medication has changed and it seems to have gotten it back under control. I dont feel any different but the doctor is happier. I did say to her that since she was the one getting upset about the figures on the machine, perhaps she shouldnt take my BP anymore. Ignorance is bliss. Guess what, she didnt agree.

Daughter and son have gone snowboarding this week together down south. Into day 2 and they seem to be surviving in each others company. Jess was so excited about going, the first time since she was in Year 12 and has been taking lessons each morning this week. She is a natural athlete which may annoy her brother, probably always has, as he is the person with all the experience, her big brother. Hopefully she will have the commonsense to let him take the lead, at least this first time, especially if she wants to be invited back.

Lucy the wonder dog is not well. We have known she has a laxating patella since she was a puppy. In the last month though she must have overdone it because she can no longer go up stairs or jump up on things. We have to lift and carry her and when we have had to go out, especially in all that horrible weather last week, had to barricade her on the deck because if she had gone down the steps she wouldnt have been able to get back up. We took her to the vet who put her on anti-inflammatories but she was the saddest little dog I have ever seen. Her eyes were reflecting such sadness and her normally springy tail was just drooped and dragging on the floor. Other than that she never complained. We took her back last week as there was no improvement and Angus started her on a once a week injection of a glucosamine type medication. Apparently it is something that is given to race horses. While she still cant go up stairs she is happier and the spring has returned to her tail. I think an operation may be on the cards.

Every year I watch Le Tour de France religously. I love watching the scenery and the fit looking men on bikes and cheering for Cadel, appreciating his BMC team and the protection and help they gave him this year. Marvelling at Mark Renshaw's ability to lead Mark Cavendish into a winning position. Admiring the Schleck brothers - so many many things to mention. Oh well, it is over for another year and life returns to normal. At least until the Tour Downunder starts. Time now to catch up on MasterChef.

I had better get back to work - swamped this week and it is only the second week of term.
Have a great week and I will catch up with you on facebook and through your blogs as time permits. (Zanna is only beating me at 15 or so games of Scrabble on my iPad and I wonder where my time goes!)

Back to Blonde

2011-06-22T12:38:00.004+10:00

Well my foray into brunettedom has ended. Fun for a while but not really me and made me look even paler than I already am. Funny that, I would have thought that blonde would drain colour. Go figure.

Feeling really yuk yesterday so met up with Jess after work for coffee and a spot of retail shopping (her more than me) and then she came home to have dinner with us and she helped me streak my hair. Happy with the result although I need a cut as well but that is slotted in for next week.

About to change my routine too. Am finding it so hard to either get to the gym in the afternoon or walk Lucy. So have decided that I will just bite the bullet and try and get up earlier and go to the gym before work and try to walk Lucy in the afternoons as soon as I get home from work. Have changed my starting and finishing times at work to try and accommodate early morning gym at least 3 times per week and will give it a trial for the next week and a half. After that I am on holidays again for two weeks - bliss. So further tweaking may be necessary.

Finally, here is the photo of the oprah pendant with the diamonds. Not the world's best photo but it is a start.

And while I am at it here is a picture of the new polished floors and new bifolds (before the furniture was put back or new stuff bought). Plantation shutters and roller blinds coming next week I hope.

Super rugby playoffs start this Friday. We will be watching with our fingers crossed that the Tahs beat the Blues but have a feeling that it might be a big ask considering injuries. Nevertheless I will be sitting in my new look family room (imagine above room with furniture) with my scarf and beanie on cheering them with friends who wanted to go out to dinner but have been roped in to watching the rugby and having a nice, hopefully not too hot, Mark-made curry at home afterwards and maybe wine. Or should I say definitely wine.

Nothing much else to report - the Weapons of Mass Reduction weight loss challenge looks like it is falling in a heap. Which brings me to a book excerpt I read this week - Women Food and God by Geneen Roth. The part I read was how she had suddenly realised that she had been losing and gaining the same weight for all her life and it amounted to thousands of pounds, or words to that extent. It made me think about me too - whenever I am on a "diet" most of the time I am feeling either:
a) superior and virtuous because I am supposedly taking care of myself
or
b) deprived and cross.

The trouble is I can't maintain it for ever because there are too many yummy things in this world that I havent tried yet or I want to try again. I think I can only try to eat healthy most of the time and stop making excuses about why my work pants are getting tight and really hurting.

Time to go back into the room of mirrors and have a good talk with myself.

An aside, funny story which also applies to me. My middle sister is overweight, very but she tells me she has lost 5 kilos recently just by writing down what she is eating. She came to visit the other day and we had a cuppa and I offered her a biscuit. No, I shouldnt eat them, thanks all the same. Later when they were leaving she took the cups out into the kitchen and I glanced in and there she was literally stuffing a cream biscuit in her mouth. I nearly said something about are you going to put that in your book but didnt because maybe I recognised that that was something I know I have done in the past and I might add the not too distant past at that.

Hope you have a great week and hope this lovely, although cold, winter weather continues. A month to the winter equinox and then the days will start getting longer again. Sunshine definitely makes you feel better.

Marathon Effort

2011-06-08T13:07:00.003+10:00

I dont know what is going on but it took me a long while to get into my blog - maybe I was entering the wrong address - who knows - old age again I am sure.

Has to be quick as I am just about finished lunch now.

My oprah necklace came yesterday - the diamond one. Smaller than I thought it would be but still it is very elegant looking. Cant wait to give it its first outing.

Weight has been going back up slowly. Think I will have to cut out the alcohol again. Every morning I wake up and think no alcohol on a week night but when the end of the day comes my resolve weakens. Especially when the devil (oops I mean Mark) asks me do I want to join him for a sundowner. I have already rabbited on in previous posts about how he can eat and drink whatever he wants and it makes no difference to him so I wont bore you again.

Floor in the family room was polished last week and we went out on Sunday, under the watchful eye of Jess, to buy some furniture. A new TV (3D as well as HD - basketball in 3D is a wonderment), a low TV unit and a new rug. Mark is going out tomorrow to buy a new coffee table. If he shows me one more picture and debates the pros and cons of the size I may have to kill him. The problem of being married to an engineer.

Looking at a new system for hanging pictures and I warned the ladies in the framing shop that he may come in and ask them lots of questions. They just laughed and said they would be ready for him.

Of course we had to upgrade Foxtel to HD which meant that I would loose all my previously recorded programs on the IQ hard-drive. So guess what I have been doing for the past two days whenever I could - watching as many as I could. MasterChef had to go because I just couldnt fit them in. So now I start again.

It is freezing in Sydney at the moment. The winds are blowing from Antartica - no rain just clear, very cold days.

In my quest to downsize the amount of things I have in my pantry I have been eating all the soups that are in there. Discovered Cup-of-Soup Chinese Chicken and Corn - probably not terribly healthy for me but it hits the spot on a cold day. Really kills my hunger cravings.

Oh well, I have better go. Run out of time again. Have a good one.

Dawning of the Age of Aquarius.....

2011-05-16T10:36:00.004+10:00

Well, what can I say - lost a 100g last week and I tried. I did try. I'm not good at going out to dinner or behaving myself (and by behaving myself I actually mean depriving myself) on Mothers Day but I walked everyday and did not drink any alcohol during the week. So - this weekend I wasnt as vigilant and we shall see what damage I have wrecked on myself.

Had lunch with the ladies I used to do pilates with on Saturday. Lovely time catching up but we all agreed with have the same problem. Being of a similar vintage, that roll of weight that grows around the middle is a universal problem for people my age. I really dont think it is fair that I didnt get a say in it. I'm sure I could have dispersed the weight better than this.

The great "Weapons of Mass Reduction" weight loss challenge has continued. One member when to Noumea for a week so couldnt be around for the weigh in, I only lost 100g and the male member of our group lost another 2 kilos. That is four kilos in 2 weeks! He reckons it is because his wife was away and he wasn't eating well but I reckon he needs to wear his glasses when he stands on the scales. No, that isnt fair either - men seem to be able to shift weight more easily than women dont they? Mark still wants to be a part of the challenge and I said I would consider it but he would be putting on weight not losing it. He got on the scales late one day fully clothed and still only weighed 71.6. I really could hate him sometimes. Eats and drinks whatever he wants.

Still walking every morning. Have been making Lucy wear a coat because I am all rugged up and she only has her little fur coat but she hates wearing it so much. Actually hid from me on Friday so I wont't make her wear it unless it is windy as well as being cold. She hates the wind. Sunrises have been spectacular lately and the show the planets are putting on at the moment is wonderful. Four of them clustered in the eastern sky every morning - hence the naming of this post. Beautiful.

Saturday afternoon also saw me finally colour my hair. No one home - perfect oppotunity. Well, the colour was dark blonde and it is more like a light auburn with red highlights. A bit startling especially for a husband who left a blond wife and came home to a brunette. The comments were flying thick and fast and I just had to tell him to settle down, it will eventually wash out (I hope) but I just felt like a change. I think that is something men dont understand - the need for a little change to spice things up - whether it is furniture rearranging or hair. Or at least mine doesnt understand it but he can be a bit thick on that level sometimes.

Jess's new unit closer to the city is beautiful and I can see them being very happy there for a while. They are still renting and probably will be for some time yet due to Sydney housing prices but the rent is not all that much different from the house they were renting further out and they are saving heaps on fares and late night taxis etc. It is an older style unit that has been beautifully renovated - new kitchen, new bathroom, fresh paintwork, high ceilings, closer to both their works and she is very happy and when Jess is very happy the world is a much nicer place to be in. LOL - that red hair is not there for nothing.

At right is me dressed for work complete with red nose. Very very cold here in the mornings in winter. Frosts cant be far off. It will eventually warm up but it is nearly midday and I still havent taken anything off including the gloves.

The mailman reckons I look like I am going skiing.

Hope everyone has a great week and I dont freeze to death at work.

Back to the Hard Slog

2011-05-03T13:04:00.002+10:00

Got the home study more or less sorted and everything taken to LifeLine or clothing bins that needed to go. I must say it is nice to walk in there now and not have to step over boxes and everything else. I am trying to deal with the paperwork as it comes into the house and put everything back into the spots I have created for them. We'll see how long that lasts for.

Painting of family room is progresssing and should be finished soon. I think floors will be polished next and the ebay shop will open to try and get rid of the excess furniture.

Trip to Queensland over Easter was a great success except I ate and drank too much and put on 2-3 kilos but a good thing has come out of it. My BGFs husband mentioned that he wanted to lose 6 kilos and I thought that it would be good to have a little contest until we meet up again in July at the Hunter (for more eating and drinking). BGF decided she wanted in too although she only wants to lose 4 kilos. So the "Weapons of Mass Reduction" Weightloss challenge has begun. (Read that somewhere and thought it was a clever play on words.) We had our first weigh in last Thursday, the day after we got home from their place. I weighed in at 71.1. Yikes. Where did that come from - oh yeah the wine and the food. We then stated our desired weights and I have worked it into a spreadsheet over the next 10 weeks. There might be a really nice bottle of bubbly for the winner which of course I am sure we will share. Since we all weigh different weights I decided I would work out the percentages, like Biggest Loser to make it more fair although I have already have had an email asking for relief because honestly, these peoople have a social life that would exhaust someone half their age. But no, being the hard taskmaster that I am - told them there would be no dispensations for the terminally popular and to suck it up. Mind you BGF is incredibly good and strong minded at maintaining her weight.

Caught up with big sister (age not size) in Queensland too. She drove down to the Gold Coast and we had lunch at BGFs recovery BBQ at her friends units entertainment area - whoo that was a mouthful.

Jess has moved closer to the city and seems a lot happier. A friend of mine adopted her cat and we are catching up this Friday night so hopefully everything is going well. She is a new friend and I really enjoy her company and would hate for the little ginger cat to cause problems. Jess now refers to where we live as "the outback". The hide of that child. Actually her brother refers to us as living in a rural area. Ungrateful wretches.

We have had lots and lots of rain lately. Too much actually. Think I have had enough for a few weeks please.

MasterChef has started again. Looking forward to getting down to the nitty gritty of it and the master classes. I am full of admiration for these people following their dreams and putting themselves out there. (How's that for cliches?)

Also kind of watched the end of Biggest Loser last night. Have not watched it at all because I was kind of over it but was amazed at the transformations. Had to tape the end because it was past my bedtime but will finish watching it this afternoon when I get home from the gym. I never realised that the commando was so dishy.

Jenny and Anni - havent got back to you about scrabble on Facebook but I will. Don't think I have forgotten you both but there are just so many hours in the day and Words with Friends on iPhone/iPad is taking a lot when I am home and Mark still expects clean clothes and meals everyday. Some people.......

Take care and have a great weekend (rats its only Tuesday)

Round 2..... I mean Week 2

2011-04-20T14:17:00.002+10:00

Still in the study but the pile of things leaving this house is growing daily. It is so daunting and slightly sad. Why the hell would I keep appointment diaries eons old - as evidence in a court case, for reminiscing, because I have a hoarding sickness - who knows. Anyway shredder has been going non stop. Hope the recycling truck empties bin carefully tomorrow or it will look like it has been snowing out there and I will have a lot of picking up to do.

Journeyed into the city on Saturday in the pouring rain. Was feeling a bit off plus it was really raining heavily but set off and am so glad I did. The Bell Shakespeare Company's "Much Ado about Nothing" was really enjoyable and I met some lovely people while I was having lunch. They drive down from Port Macquarie to see these shows. Now that is dedication.

Having lunch tomorrow with the friends I used to do folk art with. Haven't seen them for a far while so looking forward to it.

Not talking about weight at all this time. Have still been walking Lucy everyday that it doesn't rain but my food habits leave a lot to be desired. Sigh. Not to mention the wine.

Mark fishing tomorrow night with the male members of his family and assorted friends. They have been doing this for a very very long time and the theory is that we all get together on Friday for a big family (and friends) meal of fish. Sometimes it works out, sometimes it doesn't. Not casting nasturtiums on their ability/luck but it is always a good idea to buy some fish just in case. He actually had a practise run with his brother last Thursday night and they caught 9 fish (of which Mark's contribution was 2). Keeping fingers crossed they have a good night. Anyway it is a good male bonding exercise. They used to stay all night and come home the next morning but these days they are getting a bit long in the tooth and the younger ones are not as tough as they were and want the comfort of their own beds and not the ground. Me, I will be home where it is safe and warm and dry catching up on all the TV shows I have recorded.

We are off to the Gold Coast on Saturday for 4 or so days. Staying with girlfriend who is having her 60th birthday party on the Sunday and on Monday my sister is driving down to have lunch with us at the recovery party. Recovery party? at our age.

Lucy is going to Gareth's for sleepovers and runs around the golf course with him when he goes to work. It has worked out well, he has had a bad Autumn racing carnival, punting wise, so cant afford to go out and has to work to make up lost ground. It is a win win situation for me though it may cost me a few bottles of wine in ransom to get her back. He knows my thoughts about leaving animals locked in the house when nobody is home - it doesn't happen. Although he has promised if he goes out he will leave her with a fire hose and a hard hat. Only joking, I hope.

Have been playing Words with Friends with Zanna. That woman is diabolical and incredibly smart. Beating me by heaps but I am learning so many new words. She is really good at keeping it nice and tight with a few letters making lots of words across and down for lots of points. Certainly making me think a lot more than I have been. Don't really think you're evil - love you heaps.

Finally something I found in the great clean out and I think I got it from Sue, a long time ago, who is currently bounding on Happy Ground. It is now pinned on my notice board in front of me as it makes me smile everytime I read it -

Live your life in such a

way that when your feet

hit the floor in the morning,

the Devil says:

"Shit, she's awake".

Just love it.

Hope you are all having a good week and have a wonderful Easter break no matter what you do.

MIA yet again

2011-04-14T17:32:00.003+10:00

I have been missing in action yet again.

Thought I would clear out my study at home - allocated one day.

On day one (give you a hint) I realised that it may take a bit longer.

Allocated a day per wall/side i.e. 4 days

4 days later I am still on wall one and have filled the recycling bin - cant find anything in the study otherwise I would have taken a picture and posted it here to show the carnage. How could I have collected so much stuff - paper - whole forest have been felled and are living in my study. I am trying to reuse all the paper that is printed on one side but there is far far too much. I thought the linen press was daunting - this room takes the cake.

Laundry is virtually finished. Still a bit of painting to do but usable. Did I mention in my last post that when we put the washing machine back it blew up - literally. Loud bang and smell of electrical burn. No washing done for many days but eventually got a new machine as it was only a couple of hundred dearer than getting the old one fixed.

The painting machine (Mark) has now moved to the family room. Having a feature wall in Linseed, other walls are Antique White USA and ceiling and trims white white. These are Dulux colours. After this happens, I guess the floor gets sanded and polished and maybe the kitchen floor as well. God what am I thinking. Then apparently, after the school holidays, the electrician is coming back to replace the switchboard. I may just have to keep working for the rest of my life to support Mark in retirement. I may have already mentioned all of this - my memory is going on me too.

On a brighter note - Have been gardening in small doses. Planting violas, filling gaps, removing ailing plants etc. Bought the most gorgeous tibouchia today (purple flowers) from the markets and I am going to plant it where the tiler has claimed a part of my garden for cleaning his gear. Of course I have to sort out the soil first because I am sure he has wrecked it but it is another gap that needs filling.

Autumn is absolutely glorious at the moment. Lovely days and cool to cold nights. Mark brought the gas heater back in last night from its summer storage spot and hooked it up to the new outlet. Worked a treat.

Daughter is moving to Greenwich in just over a week's time. She is happy that they are going to be closer to work and the city. I am happy we are going to be on the Gold Coast and not participating in the move. It will be all over by the time we get back and we have inherited a relatively new bbq and the suburban bane, a leaf blower. Gareth is lending them his fridge as his flatmate has one that they are going to use.

Speaking of Gareth, he is currently driving back from Darwin. A friend of his has scored a job flying for Qantas so he has packed up and is moving back to Sydney. Gareth flew to Darwin so that said friend had someone to travel back with. The roadtrip has been documented on facebook. They left Cooper Pedy this morning and hopefully will be home safe and sound in the not too distant future. Some amazing photos and so green in the outback. It looks like they have had a bit of rain - maybe it is the rainy season?

M0re good news is that his friend has volunteered to play Words with Friends with me. It is an iphone or ipad app and I really love playing but people keep resigning on me just because I get a little bit in front. Anyone else want to play let me know and I will send you my username.

Going to Opera House this Saturday for my yearly fix of Shakespeare with the Bell Shakespeare Company.

I am having a nice "at home" holiday and getting lots done without overdoing it. I was pretty rundown leading up to the end of Term 1 so it is nice to start feeling good again.

Back soon - have a good one.

Things Not to Believe

2011-03-24T10:02:00.006+11:00

I have come to the opinion this week that men (husbands and tradesman) have a very loose grasp about how long something takes.

Still no laundry and doesnt look like it will be before this weekend.

Statements not to believe:
This wont take long
Be finished by the weekend (which one?)
Not a problem
Couple of days

and I am sure that you could all add more of these pronouncements.

Patience is wearing thin in proportion to the pile of laundry that needs doing. On a brighter note the floor is finished, the tubs are going in, the new doors are at least ordered but the tiler who assured me he would be finished in 2 days is not coming back until next week now to do the wall. Give me strength!

Still not having much luck on the weight loss - I usually go so well during the week but then the weekend comes and it goes to hell in a handbag. All down to me I know.

Re-instated the list of things to do system yet again. I think it has something to do with the lack of control in the laundry problem (I know I am harping).

On to food - last week end I tried to make some spicy tomato sauce or ketchup. While the result was okay it was not what I wanted so if anyone has a recipe I would appreciate it.

Had more success with an Italian Chicken and Vegetable soup - it was utterly delicious and I can see it being made again during winter. Served with crusty sourdough - yum yum.

Lucy and I are still walking every morning or nearly. It is dark when we start and dark when we finish. Daylight saving ends the first weekend in April so we should go back to a bit of daylight again soon although the sunrises are pretty - very red and orange lights on the horizon, but not a lot of light that early.

I hate getting up but I love walking early in the morning it is a nice way to start the day. Such a time for optimism isnt it.

I am having trouble inserting a link but here goes yet again
I am nearly ready to go back to yoga and maybe pilates and have found this wonderful post Nadine. Maybe I will get lucky this time. Am planning to do some classes in the next school holidays (less than 3 weeks away) at the gym to see what my mobility is like now before I commit to classes. I wish I could go to classes on a weekday. Am finding the thought of going out at night during the week or Saturday morning something I really dont want to do. Think I am starting to look forward to retirement - only a couple of more years and counting.

Anyway, back to work. Have a great weekend.

Creature of Habit

2011-03-15T12:55:00.002+11:00

I am really a creature of habit. I like things in order. I have basically the same breakfasts on the same days every week and the same lunches on weekdays. So much that I have made them Monday breakfast, Tuesday lunch in propoints. A lot easier to enter in the food diary.

Mess at home finally got to me on the weekend and I spent hours cleaning the lounge room and dining room. Adding fresh flowers etc. To get up on Sunday morning and walk out into a nearly perfect room made my heart sing. It's amazing how simple things make you feel better.

I've had some sort of lurgy. Don't want to talk about it too much but there is definitely something going around at the moment in various forms. A day in bed has made me feel better thank goodness.

Having my hair cut today. Dont quite know which way I am going, probably shorter as it is easier to look after and am seriously thinking of a different colour rather than blonde. Will talk it over with hairdresser today and ask her for some suggestions. Maybe a redhead so that I can match my children. Maybe not - it suits them more than I think it suits me.

Havent walked Lucy for the last two mornings and no gym today because of hairdresser but hopefully tomorrow if it is not raining we will be out there again. If the rain can hold off this afternoon we will go for a walk before dinner. I dont mind getting wet but a wet little dog is not nice.

Update:
Weight still wont budge.
Renovations finished, well kind of. Still floor polishing, painting and new furniture to go and maybe plantation shutters on the windows. Mark carried out his threat and demolished the laundry. The builder is coming back on Wednesday to put in new floor waste and repair some areas where the "kanga" got out of control. The tiler is coming on Thursday to start the waterproofing and then back, hopefully on Monday, to tile. Painting the walls when tiles can be walked on, new doors put on and then a general clean up and that's it - at least for a while.

Endoscopy showed that the ulcer is healing but hasnt healed completely. More tablets to take and then another endoscopy in 6 months time.

New rheumotologist doesnt think that I have rheumatoid arthritis after all. She is thinking it might be psoriatic arthritis. I dont think anyone really knows, no I know nobody knows what is attacking me but hopefully something may come out of this.

Hope everyone is having a good week.

Carrying on

2011-03-03T11:10:00.002+11:00

I have been slack but really just trying to get back into the swing of things.

Back at the gym this week for the first time in over 3 months. Just walking and cycling but nice to see everyone again.

Still walking Lucy every morning, even in the dark, which is kind of scary for me but have rearranged my mornings so that I get up and pack my lunch etc first and then walk a half an hour later so the sun is thinking about showing itself. A bonus is that I am getting to see some lovely sunrises and a bootcamp type thing has started in the mornings in the park where I walk so there are a few more people around.

Weight wise - it has been up and down but still hovering around 69-70.

And talking about weight brings me to ProPoints. I just cant seem to get it right. I am basically eating the same things as before but blowing out every day. I am constantly amazed at the number of points things cost. I am recording on line when I can (not weekend away) and have only seemed to stay within range once in 3 weeks. Is anyone else managing?

We went to Melbourne the weekend before last for the first game of the Super 15's and there was lots of alcohol and food involved but there was also a lot of walking although I did dip out on the tour of the MCG as there is only so much my little feet and ankles can do. It was a great weekend. I love Melbourne and catching trams was a great adventure.

Last weekend we were in Kiama for the rugby 7's. The coast walk there is a beautiful walk to do early in the morning. Lots of food and alcohol again but managed to maintain the weight i.e. didnt put any on. Also walked my first hills for months too.

Yesterday's morning walk actually felt a few extra muscle kicking in and didnt feel like I was walking with concrete blocks attached to my feet. A certain spring returned. Hopefully I can build on it. Going to buy a bumbag today (although I am worried about how big it will make my bum look) and maybe some wrist weights. Jess carries one and it looks good and she carries her iPhone etc, though of course she is 15 kilos lighter than me. I am tired of carrying things in the morning for our walks. I have one somewhere but I dont know where and I can't be bothered looking.

Renovations are nearly finished finally. House is an absolute disgrace but it is too hard to clean with mess everywhere and no matter how hard I try the dust etc returns everyday with interest. Now Mark is talking about pulling out the laundry and retiling. I know it will look lovely but I am honestly over it. Washing machine is going out on the deck and somehow I am still going to be able to use it.

I read an interesting phrase in a book recently along the lines of:
You need a sense of humour to stay married for a long time otherwise you would take to them with a hammer....
so true - sometimes.

The possum has left the house. After setting up webcams etc finally went with my suggestion to just wait until it left for its nightly forage and block up the entry/exit point. Been fairly peaceful ever since. Before people start worrrying about a homeless possum the engineer I married built him/her a new home but dont think it met its approval as I dont think it has moved in although some king parrots were eyeing it off.

Another endoscopy tomorrow morning to check on ulcer, trivia tomorrow night at golf club, dinner in the city with niece and her husband who are visiting from Queensland for the weekend to see the Chinese clay warriers at the art gallery. Hopefully Sunday will be back in the garden.

I am also going to start catching up on everyones blogs - so be prepared for comments appearing for posts eons old.

Happy it is Autumn at last - looking forward to warm days and cooler nights. Enjoy your weekend

It has been a while but

2011-02-04T13:07:00.002+11:00

Well I have completed my first full week at work since mid-December. The weather here is stifling and by the end of each workday I am exhausted.

I'm not supposed to sit for more than 30mins at a time but of course I get engrossed in something and forget. The leg/muscle cramps usually remind me I am being stupid.

I am still wearing the corset/brace but hopefully that will end next Monday when I go back to the neurosurgeon. Also hopefully I will be able to drive again. Mark has been really great but not having any independence and having to rely on other people to get out of the house has not been easy.

Lucy and I walk early every morning - trying to get it in before the day heats up too much. Walking still is difficult - only because of muscle wasting. But everyday it gets a little better and hopefully the feeling that I am walking on sand when I am actually walking on a footpath will end soon and I will be able to increase the distance we travel.

Still doing the physio exercises at least once a day plus every afternoon I try to do some in the pool. Physio gave me a laminated sheet with exercises on it for the pool which has been lovely at the end of these long hot days.

The renovations will take another step to completion tomorrow when a renderer finally turns up to finish off the inside walls. The first renderer had to have a knee replacement and then his father died so we got another renderer who hurt his back, then his ankle. Now we are back with the first renderer. More fingers crossing please. (Seemed to work for the chicken pox - didnt get them!)

With all that, the fact that the rendering wasnt finished hasn't made too much difference to our life. The bifolds are in and the difference they have made to the family room is amazing. It seems so much bigger and we are using the deck more now. Having most of our meals out there when it is not too hot.

Did I mention how hot and humid it is here at the moment. Gareth has had enough and reckons this will be the last summer he spends in Australia. Looking towards Canada I think. In a way I hope he doesnt, as I think travelling is moving beyond what I can do anymore and I will miss him so much.

Jess has received her new posting. It will be a change after four years in one LAC but she will be okay. She is playing ActionBall with a group of workmates (it is indoor netball on steriods I think), registering to play softball again after a break of a couple of years, still going to the gym and boxing etc, swims there too. She is so fit - fits into a size 6 pair of jeans - I could say those were the days but I wont because I only ever got down to a size 8 but I was nowhere as active as she is.

Oh well, I'd better get moving as I can feel the numbness and vague pain starting again.

Have a great weekend and take care.

2011 here I come

2011-01-06T09:02:00.003+11:00

No resolutions this year. Last years list of things I wanted to do never got completed let alone acted on.
Keep it simple.
Three weeks since op. Taking it very easy. Up to walking around the block now. What used to take me 10 mins now takes 30 but baby steps - remember baby steps.
Corset/brace makes me look so slim but after a while hurts - maybe too tight but I do look slim if slightly lumpy.
Thinking of giving the gym away. I will miss it but I don't think there is a lot I can do there now. Will talk to neurosurgeon when I see himnin February.
Love my iPad so much. It comes with me everywhere and has niftly little red leather case. Am playing a form of scrabble with my sister and children and seriously kicking a**e. Take no prisoners is my motto.
My kindle has had some serious workouts. Easier for me to read lying down then a book - lighter.
Except for new years day the weather has been cool and rainy. Summer seems to have disappeared but I know it will be back with vengeance. Actually went in the pool on last Saturday. Had trouble getting in and out but It was just gorgeous. Must mention a handrail to the powers that be.
My big sister came to stay for a few days and it was so nice to have her near by instead of hundreds of kms away.
Bifold doors look like they are going in today. The renderer won't be here till next week but the builder has finished moving the steps out on the deck and building the new platform. The deck looks so big now without steps cutting into it and the doors open up that end of the house onto the deck and make everything look bigger and lighter. Bliss.

Now I need some serious fingercrossing please. The builders wife and children called in two days ago with coffee and cakes for morning tea for everyone. That night they found out that Catie has chicken pox and now if looks like her mother has them as well. Firstly, they also have a baby who hasn't been immunized yet so it might be good for him not to get the full blown chickenpox and also I would really appreciate not getting them at the moment too. Okay everyone on the count of three - fingers crossed and concentrate.

OK - I hope everyone had a wonderful new years eve and I am seriously going to try to not to over think 2011.
KISS (keep it simple stupid)

Update

2010-12-22T07:11:00.003+11:00

Today I am going home from hospital. Early. Finally.

This has been so much harder than I thought it would be.

Just little things:
I was in ICU for 36 hours with very little sleep.
The worse moment was when the nurse had to take out the two drains before I had to come back to the ward.
The removal of the epidural was less traumatizing.
Lying on my back for 60 hours was difficult.
I felt that I had been forgotten when brought to my room but that turned out to be just the nurse that was on duty.
The food has been revolting. They don't really provide for people with dairy allergies.
I have survived on cold peanut butter toast, dubious sandwiches and jelly and herbal tea.
On the bright side I may have lost some weight even though I haven't had much exercise. Gareth brought me a ham, avocado and tomato sandwich yesterday.

The pain hasn't been too bad. Bearable.
My life started to return to semi normal when all the drips and catheters were removed.
Have started physio .

Have an appointment on Friday at local GP for the staples to be removed. Even have a special little tool to take with me. Am terrified.

And then, it is approximately 6 weeks until I can drive again.
Cannot carry anything over 1 kg. There goes my handbag - see previously post.
No bending and twisting.
Start walking 10 mins twice a day increasing 5 mins every week until I get up to 40 mins twice a day.
Physio exercising three times a day - including pool exercises when the staple holes heal up.

I now have some new hardware in my body. Two rods and four screws now holding part of my back together.

Update of the update - I'm home! I've had a cup of coffee and some real food. Oh happy days (cue the music)
More later

It's been a while

2010-12-13T14:03:00.002+11:00

So much has happened since last time.

Twelfth Night at the Opera House was very good and Gareth really enjoyed it.

Jess passed her test with flying colours and is now awaiting her new posting. Again fingers crossed everyone (seems to work really well) that she gets the command she would like to be at.

Weight is going down slowly. I have lost 4.6kgs since I began this time. I might get back into my jeans yet.

I have had an endoscopy and found the cause of the pain. I have a healing medium size ulcer. Have to continue with medication and have another endoscopy next year to check how it goes.

My iPad has arrived and it is gorgeous. Just like a big iPhone but you cant make calls on it. I read the paper on it in the mornings. A few things I have to sort out but I will eventually.

Today is my last day at work until the end of January next year.

Tomorrow is Oprah day with Jess and on Wednesday I am off into hospital to have my lower back fused thanks to a very understandng neurosurgeon who wanted to operate on Tuesday and accomodated me on Wednesday instead. I will be in hospital for 10 days so will be out of contact for a while - at least until I can sit up and Mark brings me my iPad and iPhone. I wont be able to drive until early February and will have to wear a corset (hopefully looking really slim).

I will let you know about Oprah - I am looking forward to it but I hope it is not too hot.

Just in case I dont get back to you (hardly likely I know) have a wonderful Christmas and a hsppy new year.
xxx

Handbag stocktake

2010-11-29T10:12:00.003+11:00

As I lugged my handbag into work today I thought, no wonder I have a sore back. This is the contents of my bag today

Red Leather Wallet which contains cards and notepad plus pencil and pen
Sunglasses (no case as I cant find it)
Coin Purse
Black wallet for extra cards and cash
Diary to use as a food tracker
iPac (work)
Digital camera
pain killers
2011 Diary
External HD
Hankie
Glasses (in case)
Another card holder for the excess cards I have (mainly store ones for rewards)
and this is before the iPad arrives.
Good grief!!!!
Now what is in yours?
Edit: Forgot the trusty iphone

On a sad note, the weight I was so excited to lose last week has returned. Not as much as I lost and I guess the difference was two restaurant meals. I really have to learn to do this better. Any hints greatly appreciated.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows was very good. Maybe not for small children though. Definitely dark undertones and adult themes. Jess and I got to go with lots of young people. The girls in front of us, still in school uniform, were very funny and lovely. The younger boys from one of the North Shore's top private schools were hysterical to listen to. Anyway a good movie and a lovely dinner afterwards.

Saturday I went to the Sydney Opera House with Gareth. We had lunch first at Studio Cafe and then in to see Twelfth Night by the Bell Shakespeare company. I really enjoyed it and so did he. They are a wonderful company and the twists they put on Shakespeare are really great. Gareth really enjoyed it too and I think I may have found a person to go with finally. He actually said that it was awesome on facebook.

Have a good week and keep your fingers cross on Wednesday for Jess sitting her detective exam/interview.

the good the bad and hopefully no ugly

2010-11-24T16:58:00.002+11:00

Starting with the good news - the scales told me I lost 1.2 kgs last week. After weeks of 100g and 200g losses (yes I know a loss is still a loss) you could have knocked me over with a feather at this weeks weigh in. I am back in the 60"s, just.

The bad is that everyone has tried to get me an emergency appointment with the neurosurgeon but they all hit the bane of so many peoples lives - the doctors receptionist. Firstly I found out that the rheumatologist's receptionist had not passed the MRI results on even though the email I received from her said she would. That had wasted nearly two weeks. Then the GP rang on Monday as I had spent three days in bed because the pain has escalated and she was told there are no emergency appointments and given the name of another doctor who is probably ok but this is my spine and I really want the best surgeon so I will wait until January for my appointment. GP has increased the slow release morphine dose and upped the painkiller and I've got my disability parking back again.

Yesterday I went back to work and found out that a friend who worked in the park and who I used to have coffee and gossip with had committed suicide on Saturday. Even now I am having trouble with this and tearing up. I should have been a better friend. I know loneliness and depression were part of the problem. Damn we get wrapped up in our own lives and don't reach out to others because we are too busy. I was alone at work yesterday and my beloved daughter who is on holidays and studying for her detective exams came down and spent the day with me so that I wasn't alone.

I have been a bit slack lately with reading you blogs. Not any more. I am going to get myself an iPad and I am going to carry it with me at all times so that I can find out what is going on in your lives at any moment.

Jess and I are going to see Harry Potter on Friday and then Gareth and I are going to see Twelfth Night by the Bell Shakespeare Company on Saturday. Very very different things but I love them both.

Finally, my thoughts are with the families and friends of the trapped miners. Have just heard the news of the second explosion and that there are no expected survivors. Gut wrenchingly crappy news. Namaste - May peace be with you all - eventually.

It's nearing Christmas time and

2010-11-19T17:53:00.002+11:00

I am confined to bed again. Didnt't make it to work today. Cant walk. Rang the neurosurgeon yesterday about being put on the cancellation list and asked had they received the MRI report. The answer was no. So rang the rheumotologist and asked had they sent it and the receptionist said she had not send it because she didnt know that she had too. Unfortunately I had an email from them saying that was what they were going to do. I know mistakes happen but I thought I have been waiting to hear from someone about the results and nothing had been done.

I have been trying to keep mobile but I think last Wednesday's yoga was the last time for this year which makes me sad. I enjoy it so much but the pain is now too great. Have also put my gym membership on hold until next year.

I have spent today in bed and probably will spend the weekend in bed too. I can't not walk. I have to go and see Oprah with Jess! LOL. Glad I have my priorities right. Only another four weeks of work - four fairly important weeks of work. Please, I need a break.

On top of all this I have to have an endoscopy in two weeks time. Keeps getting better doesnt it.

The back pain is being caused by degeneration to the spine probably by the arthritis and also this time I now have a cyst on my spine which is pressing on the nerve. I think it is nerve pain that I am feeling and painkillers don't seem to work with nerve pain.

Oh well, a quiet weekend ahead. Poor Mark - thank goodness he has retired from work. He has to take over everything now, as well as helping the builder, etc etc.

Enjoy yourselves.

Pandora charm award (finally)

2010-11-08T09:22:00.003+11:00

I have lost another 200g this week. Painfully slow but still....
A pandora charm, an owl for wisdom, has joined the buddha (for calmness) on my necklace. A new charm for every kilo.

Exciting news, Jess has been allocated tickets in the ballot to go and see Oprah on the 14th December and is taking me. Woohoo! I didnt know anything about this so was very excited to get the news. Have already put in my request for long service leave for that day.

Back or whatever it is, is still painful. Had an MRI on Friday. Just part of my contributing to keeping the health system afloat in NSW. Hopefully will get some feedback today.

Still having a problem with possum in the cavity. I think we have upset him by removing part of the eaves and the outside brick wall. Mark was out there last night building a possum highway because he was afraid that he couldnt get down. So cute (Mark that is not the possum - no the possum is cute but vicious and smelly and I dont want him to live in the roof.)

Out to dinner twice on the weekend and had Italian both times and am paying for eating cheese. The rash is back. But I dont care - I love Italian and I knew when I was enjoying it that this would probably be the outcome but it will be gone in a couple of days and it was worth it.

Going to see Leonard Cohen tomorrow night at the Acer Arena at Homebush with a girlfriend. I heard that his concert last time he was here was brilliant and I am hoping for a repeat performance.

Have a great week everyone. Under 7 weeks to Christmas - dont panic!

What's buzzing this week?

2010-11-02T13:11:00.006+11:00

Sorry sorry sorry - have been very very busy and sick and all the normal stuff.

After losing 1.2 kgs in one go I have lost 300 g over the past 2 weeks. Very very demoralising as I have been sick and not wanting to eat a lot like I normally do and I have been keeping a food diary via the internet and have kept well below points and not even added in bonus exercise points.

Have been going to gym twice a week, walking Lucy four days a week and yoga once a week and it doesnt seem to make any difference.

All this exercise has been happening through pain (doctor has increased dosage of painkillers) but it doesnt seem to make any difference. So while this week I am still tracking the food, I am doing very little exercise.

Scans and xrays showed all sorts of nasty things have happened to my back. Dr A (Rheumotologist) has asked me to get an MRI done and then he will ring the neurosurgeon and try and get me moved up the list a bit.

Mark (god bless his little cotton socks) is worried that I will once again stuff up Christmas by being sick. As if I do this on purpose.

Anyway, catchups:
If you get a chance go and see Jersey Boys. Incredible show. Great singing, sets etc etc. Of course it helps if you like the music.

I have bought a lovely long dress for Christmas. All reds and oranges. Please please let it be a lovely hot Christmas this year and not back into winter woolies.

Renovations have started again. Do have a picture of the starting work.
The outer brick wall has been removed and work has started on the inner brick wall. Dust like you wouldnt imagine but the idea of having a long table/s the length of the deck and the family room for Christmas day is keeping me happy. It was amazing to see what the inside of the cavity looks like - no wonder we have had trouble putting in electricals - trying to get them past all those concrete "dags" but apparently the roughness of the bricking has something to do with the rendering of the inside walls - better perhaps.

Anyway, new bifold doors will go across this space - goodbye backdoor and window. The stairs for the deck have to be resituated or else that first step will be a doozy and I can fall quite easily down the back steps without any help thank you very much.

Mind you I dont think it has stopped raining since these renos started so blame me - it always happens. Garden looks wonderful though.

Last trivia of the year this Friday night. We have won the last two out of three so keep your fingers crossed that we will continue to mow down all the opposition before us. Me competitive - never!

Hopefully my weight will dip a bit more next week. Isnt it funny - this weight has snuck on insidiously over the past 18 months using stealth and camouflage and now I want it gone - NOW! So unrealistic but normal I thinks.

Hope all you lovelies in Aussieland have a great day today and back a winner in the Melbourne Cup. Sometimes it is hard to work by yourself in an isolated location. Oh well have one for me.

Have a great rest of week and weekend.

Things I have managed

2010-10-18T12:39:00.003+11:00

In the last week I have managed to finally lose 1.2kgs mainly through not stuffing myself with food or overdoing the wine. Not rocket science but nonetheless hard for someone who has quite enjoyed stuffing herself and overdoing the wine.

Even went out to dinner two nights and still managed to keep my appetite under control.

Been to see "Eat Pray and Love". Enjoyable light chick flick. They probably could have made three movies concentrating on each country Liz Gilbert visited in that year but nonetheless got the main points across I think.

Have put my back out yet again. I am so over my health. Cant get into see the neurosurgeon until January so GP has put me on a low dose morphine patch to cope with the pain. Doesnt seem to working all that well but then again I have not stopped living my normal life even if walking Lucy does take a lot longer than it did. Off to get CT scan and xrays on Wednesday.

Went back to yoga last Wednesday. Slightly painful because of abovementioned back, but I managed and glad to be back there again. Teacher still wonderful.

Bestfriend and her husband arriving on Thursday and then two hectic days of dinners out and off to see Jersey Boys on Friday night. They leave on Saturday to continue their trip further south and I have plans to watch the first movie "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo" if I can find it at the video store on Saturday night while I recover.

Sunday is beloved middle sister's birthday so off to visit her.

It is so busy at this time of year - no wonder everybody gets frazzled.

Mum's estate is finally being wound up this week which is good. The amount of work that Mark has done to sort it all out has been mammoth and I know he will be glad that it is finally finished.

Builder hasnt been sighted re doors. Hopefully soon.

That's all. Hope you had a great week and are having a great week.
xxx

Thank you

2010-10-03T11:35:00.005+11:00

Thank you for all your birthday wishes. I had a lovely day. My family told me that for my birthday I was going skydiving, night skydiving while holding sparklers. I didnt really believe them because heights and I dont seem to get on too well. My friend told me that at least it was at night and I wouldnt see the ground. So reassuring. Anyway it turned out to be a lovely dinner at "AdLib" in Pymble. Nice food and good service. Also another pandora charm from eldest sister, flowers, a new crossword dictionary and a electronic crossword solver. A subscription to a puzzle magazine is apparently on the way. (You can tell I do like crosswords).

Also this beautiful azalea came into flower on my birthday as it does every year. My late much loved mother-in-law gave it to me on my 25th birthday which you probably have guessed is eons ago. Appropriately it is called "silver anniversary". It has survived many moves and survived. It used to cascade over the stone edging on the garden but apparently it was killing The Grass so I have had to cut i back but it is regrowing again within its boundaries. Also this year there is a genetic mutation that seems to have occurred. One branch of flowers is different to the rest of the bush. Very strange.

The other milestone is that I have finally finished reading the Stieg Larsson trilogy. I have had these books for literally years but while I absolutely love his women characters I have trouble reading about the bad men characters. I cant really explain it but yesterday since I was sick yet again I knuckled down and picked up The Girl who Kicked the Hornets Nest and finished it. I loved it as I have loved the others. I reread the last chapters twice - I guess I didnt want it to end but end it has as he has passed away and there will be no more books about Lisbeth Salander.

It is a long weekend here today in New South Wales and it is raining as it rained yesterday. I will eventually get back out in my garden but I dont know when. Another weeks schools holidays and then back to work for the final rush towards the end of the year.

Tourists in our home city

2010-09-28T17:27:00.007+10:00

Today I dragged my darling husband into the city to do a bit of sight seeing. He didnt want to go but came with me under sufferance (I can be very persuasive sometimes).

We caught the train to St James station and then had a look through St James church. I think, the oldest church in Sydney. Absolutely beautiful. Had a look through the crypt too where there is a childrens chapel.

Then off to David Jones for lunch in the food hall. An antipasto platter and a glass of sauvignon blanc. Just right. Mark had the plowmen's lunch.

The we walked through Hyde Park and had a look at the photographic exhibition that is on there. Giant photos on canvas. Interesting and of course such a beautiful day.

Decided to walk down Macquarie Street to Circular Quay admiring the gorgeous old churches and sandstone buildings on the way. Through the Sydney Hospital to the domain and then down past the State Library, the Conservatorium and the Botanical Gardens. All the statues were dressed up for the festival that is happening at the moment.

This was Shakespeare and Co
near the library.

Then down the Circular Quay and onto a ferry to Milsons Point. Actually got off a Kirribilli wharf and walked up under the harbour bridge (a bit windy) up to Milsons Point station and then onto a train home.

A lovely day doing something that we dont usually do and a little bit of training in walking for me. Painkillers along the way helped.

PS Builder came over last night and there is talk of the family room renovations being started soon. We went and talked to the bifold door company this afternoon. Keep your fingers crossed that this is finished by Christmas.

A new tack

2010-09-21T13:08:00.004+10:00

Awoke this morning to a beautiful sunny day. I love the early morning at the moment but I guess it will regress when daylight saving comes in soon.

Arrived at work and it was misty and mysterious looking. Couldn't see the boats anchored across the bridge. Wanted to take a picture but the sun that was trying to break through the mist was too bright and I kept getting what looked like a pole in the middle of the picture.

Looked out my office window a little bit later and saw the most amazing sight. There must have been 50 cormorants sitting on the seawall drying their wings and just generally catching up. Rang Mark to tell him as I thought the fish might be running but he thought it must be because of the rough seas at the moment. He was out pulling out the frangipani (frost finally got it this year) and planting out my olive tree. Would love to turn that part of the garden into a garden or a chook run but that would take more of his valuable grass and the moaning would be unliveable with.

(Pictures by my boss)

Such a beautiful day and I went for a stroll at lunch time. No fish swimming around but that might be due to the cormorants who have since moved on but probably scared the fish witless. The little swallows that nest under the bridge were out and about picking up mud at low tide for their nests.

Hundreds of little crabs scurrying around in the mud and hiding when I come near. So cute. How do they know I am here?

Something flowering and I dont know what it is but it smelt wonderful. Will find out when the guys return and try to remember for next time. Might have been a pittosperum - yes just looked it up on wikepedia and that is what it is. Smells heavenly.

Baby ducklings out and about with Mum and Dad Duck. Five little ones this time. I hope they survive.

A few more hours of work and then off to the hairdressers and some shopping and then home to walk Lucy. Hope the weather holds for me.

Spring makes me feel so contented.

A Week Like No other

2010-09-17T19:00:00.004+10:00

Friday 17 September 2010
Firstly, my deepest sympathies to Anne. You have been in my thoughts constantly for the last couple of days. Hope you are coping. I cant imagine what you are going through but know that your family and friends as well as your blends will be there for you.

Secondly I am back on the methotrexate and am really foggy. This is my third attempt at this medication and hopefully my last. The only reaction so far has been this fogginess and of course extreme tiredness. Plus a sudden loss of memory.
Back to fortnightly blood tests.

Have not been able to get back to pilates in ages as my stomach pains make it impossible.

Monday 20th September 2010
If anyone has a pilates dvd with sessions that last about 20 mins let me know. I need to do something soon.

I know that I am not supposed to weigh myself everyday but I do. I understand why it is a bad thing because between Saturday morning and this morning I have put on 1.3 kilos and I dont think I have done anything terribly wrong. Bugger Bugger damn damn.

Okay got that out of my system. Am moving on.

A question of balance

2010-08-30T13:03:00.003+10:00

Whew - we have finally nearly finished Mark's birthmonth. It has been hectic and a lot of fun.

The warbird flight was brought forward from 11 am last Saturday week to 8 am and I was wondering how I was going to get 8 people down to the local airport to watch but it all turned out well. The pilot actually did the aerobatics over the house we were staying at so we just sat out on the terrace and watched Mark have the ride of his life. I swear, he didnt stop smiling all day.

The rest of the weekend was lovely too and finally last weekend he had his party at the golf club and once again had a ball. Mind you he is the original little party animal and age certainly hasnt slowed him down too much. My bestie and her husband flew down from Queensland and stayed for the weekend too so it was full on.
Party on Friday night and not in bed until 2.
Mark up again at 6 to play golf.
The rest of us had a leisurely start to the day and then caught the train into the city and went to the David Jones foodhall and had lunch at the antipasto bar and taste tested our way around, had coffee, went shopping and then caught the train home to a beautiful chicken curry prepared by the birthday boy when he got home from golf. Nobody needed any rocking that night and we were in bed by midnight.

Up again the next day and off to lunch at Buddha Belly at Terrey Hills to meet up with friends and then out to airport to drop our visitors off and then off to a sausage sizzle with the neighbours and then home and bed.

Didnt want to get out of bed this morning but there was the promise of another lovely Sydney winter day, not a doona day, so I eventually got out of bed and was only minutely late for work.

Planning for the Tasmanian trip is starting to come together. Got lots of recommendations about what we should see and do and where to stay.

Now the title of this post - Balance.
I have noticed that more and more people are talking about balance in their life. People perceive balance in lots of different ways but it is amazing that in the end balance is still balance. (Of goodness I am getting all mystic.)

Anyway while we were away in the Hunter with my wonderful children, my son and I had a long talk about eating habits and weight. He has lost some weight by just following simple "rules:
No fried food
No sugar
Eat dinner early
Eat more fruit

Now he never could be accused of being fat or even overweight, but has trimmed down so that he can fit back into a favourite pair of jeans and stopped the weight training because it was thickening up his neck muscles and he couldnt do up his dress shirts anymore. LOL.

No counting points, showing some restraint and I guess taking responsibility. Taking this slowly, and being superstitious I am not going to talk about this anymore. Just to say I am attempting to slowly change my habits but I am not going to beat myself up anymore about it.

I want to fit back into my clothes
I want to give myself a fighting chance against the disease that is trying to cripple me
basically I just want something better with more balance.

Not a big ask.

Completely on a different track
Anyway I have also taken up crocheting again. I had all this wool that I was going to knit into squares but my hands wont let me but I have discovered that I can still crochet so I am happily making squares for the new blanket for Lucy the wonderdog and next year I will see if I can donate crochet rugs to the "Wrapped with Love" project. It is awesome - I have something to do with my hands of an evening that I quite enjoy doing.

So, if anyone out there needs some knitting needles let me know because I dont think I will be using them anymore and I have got stacks.

2010-08-16T13:20:00.003+10:00

Whew! What a busy weekend.

Not feeling well lately and it seems to hit me on Friday night and makes Saturday mornings painful and therefore no pilates which is killing me.

The no dairy diet is difficult (being a big cheese lover) but has helped immensely. The few times I have chanced it or inadvertently had dairy I have paid for it very soon after with an immediate flare-up of the eczema but on a whole am managing to keep it under control. I just want to heal now but that will take months.

We went to see Let It Be at the opera house on Saturday. We went into the city early and had a few drinks in the Rocks, caught up with some friends and then went to the show. It had Doug Parkinson, Jon Stevens, Jack Jones and John Waters in it and was excellent. Didnt get home until midnight and I think I was asleep before my head hit the pillow.

Dragged myself out of bed and got ready to go out to lunch and we were just lucky to miss the most incredible storm that raged through Sydney yesterday. Pouring rain, hail and thunder all within about 10 minutes. The restaurant actually turned the heaters on because the temperature dropped quickly but everything was back to normal within 15 minutes and more importantly the washing got dry by the time we got back home. Lovely lunch with lovely people.

So today, have walked around a small area of the national park I work in. Breezy down the southern end and the smell of the salt water was invigorating. Sunny cloudless blue skies, magpies, cockatoos, a swamp heron and plovers but did not sight any schools of small fish. Watched women getting ready to go kayaking and felt a bit envious but my time will come for lovely indulgences. It wasnt a brisk walk just a stroll because my ankle is sore from Saturday's trip to the city and I want to give it time to recover. So no gym today either just a bit of shopping and I have to buy a new black pashmini type thing because of course I lost my beloved one on Saturday. Probably take Lucy for a walk towards sunset. It is such a nice relaxing time of the day to be out walking. Something about the sun setting seems to soothe me - dont know why.

The nights this week will be taken up with cooking food for the weekend. We are off to the Hunter again on Friday to celebrate Mark's 60th birthday with family. I can't remember whether I mentioned it but I have booked a flight for him in an old fighter plane. Hopefully the weather holds for him as it is the pivotal part of the weekend, keep your fingers crossed.

Enjoy your week - stop, turn your faces to the sun and breathe deeply. Spring is stirring although I dont think winter has quite finished with us yet.

PS: didnt get a chance to post this on Monday and would you believe when I went for my walk at lunchtime on Tuesday the creek was literally alive with fish. It was incredible to watch them darting around and not just little ones either, some really big ones. I tried to describe the big ones to a workfriend and his response was that I had just described a fish. Also managed to buy another black scarf/shawl pretty much identical to the one I lost but it was expensive. Cooking for weekend is progressing well - lasagne and soup made, meat ordered and casserole to be made tonight in slow cooker. Other than that I have managed to lose my credit card but luckily the butcher has it and has promised me that I can have it back as soon as they have filled up their cars - clowns.
Really going this time and pushing publish post button otherwise this could turn into a novella.

From my sister

2010-08-10T16:01:00.001+10:00

Part of an email my sister sent me -

With time, we gain weight because we accumulate so much
information and wisdom in our heads that when
there is no more room, it distributes out to the rest of our bodies.
So we aren't heavy, we are enormously cultured, educated and happy.

Beginning today, when I look at my butt in the mirror I will
think, ¨Good grief, look how smart I am!¨

A great way to look at yourself (or myself) I think.
:)

Mindsets

2010-08-04T12:52:00.002+10:00

Funny how if you think something for long enough it becomes fact.

My particular mindset at the moment is - gee I am hungry. Yes I am hungry but I am not starving. Hungry is not a bad thing it might mean that my body might decide to eat some of the stored food (this little squirrel must have thought it was going to be a tough winter because she has put away rather a lot of food stores). I dont need to eat something immediately. All that it does is makes me bigger. A few gentle comments from my beloved has got me back on track. He is worried about the damage that I am doing to myself when my body is quite capable of damaging itself without my help.

Anyway saw the surgeon today and he is happy with the new ankle (not so new now - nearly 16 mths old). Have to get an MRI on the other ankle because something is going on there but nothing as bad as what has happened.

Bought a cute little pad from KikkiK about 21 days to make something a habit. Things like staying within daily point allowance, walking 10,000 steps, drinking my bottle of water, having alcohol-free days etc. I keep it on my bedside table and the last thing I do before I go to bed is tick off what I have accomplished that day. It makes me try harder. I always was the child that wanted the gold star.

Well done to the All Blacks. It was like watching a trainwreck and I think that I will join Peter Fitzsimmons and start calling them the Australiasian Allblacks. A word of warning (from past history guys) dont peak too early. Save something for next year.

After a couple of days of wild and woolly weather, today is a glorious winter day with blue skies and sunshine.

I can feel a hint of spring. The jonquils are out in my garden, the azaleas are beginning their annual flower show and I've noticed the beautiful big dusky pink magnolia buds are starting to open. I wish I could have a magnolia but, sigh, I have been banned from buying one. I do have a port wine magnolia from which I have struck numerous cuttings and planted surreptitiously in various parts of the gardens. Am I in for a lecture when he discovers this.

Anyway I am off to do some more work. Have a great day/week.

MIA yet again

2010-07-30T18:36:00.003+10:00

Sorry I have been MIA yet again.

Been having to work some stuff out. AND it has become more difficult in a way.

For over 7 months I have been suffering with eczema and nobody was interested. Not the GP not the dermatologist. The last dermatologist I saw in early July wanted to do yet another biopsy. That was never going to happen. Due to the meds I have to take my healing process is so slow. The GP suggested cortisone cream and putting tegaderm over it (which is kind of like sticky gladwrap). But if you saw the surface area I had to cover you would be going out and buying shares in Nexcare.

Anyhoos have been surfing the internet and researching eczema and something caught my eye and memory. Two years ago when I had a procedure which I cant remember the name of but was both ends and no big deal the doctor mentioned lactose intolerence might be the reason for the stomach pains. Of course I didnt take any notice - hey why am I paying these guys all this money so that I can ignore them.

Anyway the long and the short of it is since last Friday afternoon (a week) I have virtually cut out lactose from my diet as best I can. I am really afraid to say this and am frantically touching wood but I have not itched once since and slowly, so very slowly the itchy red spots are healing.

I need to tell you that I was at the p*ssed off stage before the revelation. No one was offering me any viable and longterm answers. Maybe this wont be a longterm answer but let me tell you - sleeping through the night without scratching myself to pieces is marvellous.

I am back to building up my exercise at the gym (not too strenuous), doing pilates once a week and walking Lucy twice a week. I see the ankle surgeon next week and I think there may be problems but I dont care.

My weight is still horrendous but one thing at a time.

It is Mark's 60th birthday next month and I think he is nearly retired. He has bought a new laptop and downloaded all his personal stuff off the work computer in readiness for its return.

We are spending the weekend of his birthday up at the Hunter with the children and his brother and sister and his brother's wife. We have rented a house for the weekend and I am sending him up in an old fighter plane for the ride of his life. The bonus is that the people who own the house have said that Lucy can come too. A visit to the dog beauty parlour is in order.

Jess and I went to Rozelle Markets last Sunday and I found a pottery beer stein for Mark which he proudly took to drinks on Sunday night. Then we drove to Haberfield for coffee and arancini but they dont make arancini on Sundays but the soy flat white was nice. Jess will go back when she is posted back to Gladesville and get some arancini for me during the week. After that we went to IKEA to return some cushions and then home for afternoon tea with friends. Nothing got done at home but it was a lovely day.

What else - the Tour de France is finished for another year. I am suffering MasterChef withdrawal but I have the new magazine and am planning to make Alvin's drunken chicken. I love Lie to Me and Undercover Boss is becoming a favourite along with Doc Martin.

Rugby tomorrow night. Go the Wallabies! (Anne and Sue dont hate me)

Friday night, can hear the rain again on the roof outside my study and I am so happy to be able to sleep in a little bit tomorrow morning and a lot on Sunday. Have a good one.

PS - Oh by the way I have indulged myself with another Spencer and Rutherford bag. On special of course and it hasnt arrived yet but I feel warm and fuzzy just thinking about it. I think I need to join handbags anonymous.

Winter Solstice

2010-06-21T13:23:00.004+10:00

Hooray, we are halfway through. In theory the days will start getting longer but Mark reckons that the next three months will be the coldest. Let's hope he is wrong.

Been off colour again. Could be the medication I think. We went to a wedding on Saturday and I took my tablets with what I thought was water but actually was lemonade. Not too sure that they went together and the lemonade may have removed the protective coating on the tablets too quickly.

Lost 100g this week. Not great but a loss is a loss but 100g could be the difference between going to the toilet or not before weigh-in.

My sitting in the sun has not been too successful. Managed two days last week. I think this is one of the wettest winters we have had but I wont complain as it is nice to be out of drought at least in Sydney.

Was playing with the idea in my mind this morning that maybe the next time I have to have a major operation I may retire so that I can concentrate on regaining my health as my number one job. We will see. I do love my job and the people I work with. Maybe it was just because it was raining this morning and Mark and Lucy were having a "doona day".

I hope you all have a wonderful week ahead of you.

Something's not right

2010-06-11T13:37:00.002+10:00

God I feel strange. Slightly empty, a bit disorientated, sad, lethagic, uninterested, generally blaaah. I just want to curl up and hibernate. Maybe I am a bear.

It could be SAD I guess. I really dont get out in the sun much nowadays. Lunches are usually spent either at my desk or in the lunch area. Not good. Sun is still coming up when I go to work and getting dark when I get home. Need to get out in the park at lunch time for 10 minutes to rejuvenate my battery. This will be my aim this weekend and next week.

Roll on winter solstice. The day light hours will start lengthening again soon. This morning was freezing and frosty. Jess's windscreen was iced up. It was 3 degrees in the car park at work this morning and I have had a variety of heating implements powering away to keep me warm. Have finally taken my coat off - now just three layers of clothes.

Am supposed to be going to gym this afternoon but thinking of giving it a miss. I know this is not the right way to think but that is where I am at the moment.

Sorry to unload but needed to tell someone.

MIA

2010-06-09T17:43:00.002+10:00

Sorry I have been MIA lately.

Trying to exercise a bit more and trying to teach myself to walk again.

Completed 23 days without alcohol and am now aiming for 4 days off at least a week although I did think about having one tonight.

I swear I can feel snow in the air. It is soooo cold outside and apparently getting colder as the week goes on. Not too cold for possums though. Lucy has just gone berserk because one thundered across the roof above my study.

Weight loss has been okay but not great.

Jess and I went and saw Sex In the City 2 last night. Honestly dont bother unless it is part of a girls night out. They are looking old, the fashion was horrible most of the time and most of it was set in Abu Dhabi not beloved New York. Not much of a story line and boring. But in saying all of that Liza Minnelli's rendition of Single Girls was wonderful and boy she has great legs and the scene with Miranda and Charlotte having a heart-to-heart about motherhood was funny. I have loved this show for 12 years but I think it is time to put it out of its misery.

Have given my old mixmaster to Jess and am now in the process of picking the colour of the new one as previously mentioned. It has to be a happy colour - Jess likes the bright red one but I am leaning towards the orange one or maybe the bright green one. I am really enjoying cooking at the moment (thanks Master Chef for re-igniting my love of it). I have a new stick blender. Once again Jess got my old one - she does well out of me. BTW she made Matt Moran's frangipane tart from last Friday nights show, for dinner on Monday night. It was lovely. The girl is fearless.

Had to see a dermatologist last week about skin. I have been using cortisone cream on rash but she wants me to leave it for a week so that she can do a biopsy. Honestly, not going to happen. I am fed up with arthritis at the moment and am probably heading towards denial but I dont care.

Anyway off to finish checking emails and do the ironing. Mark out for drinks with a mate (rather him than me - too cold). Not sure who gets it but if you are having a long weekend like NSW this weekend enjoy yourselves. Another day to have a sleep-in woo hoo.

I've lost a little bit of me - woohoo!

2010-05-17T10:11:00.004+10:00

(This turned out to be quite a long one - sorry)

Managed to misplace 500g last week. No alcohol appears to have worked because there has been minimal exercise. Probably could have done better if I was a little more diligent but I tend to lose the plot on the weekend foodwise.

I am back with my lists/timetables of what I have to do everyday. I do love lists and I do know they can be self defeating but when they work they work really well. I managed to get the housework done in stages throughout the week without too much trouble although as mentioned before there was not a lot of structured exercise.

I took Lucy for a walk last Monday and it was so hard. Just a short flat walk but obviously my muscles had packed it in yet again because it felt like I was walking on marshmallows. That short walk put paid to my plans for walking in the "Million Paws" walk on Sunday. I realised that I couldnt do it which was disappointing.

On a brighter note I went back to pilates on Saturday morning. First time since last November. New teacher so had to explain again my problems but it was wonderful. I was very very nervous but so glad that I went. I felt I had achieved something. If nothing goes wrong (touch wood) I plan to go back to yoga in July.

Also spent yesterday gardening. In the last 12 months my gardens have become a bit like the wild woods. Mark has done a bit of hedging but I have to watch him like a hawk. He is very good at "boy pruning". I cant tell you how many plants I have lost to that form of gardening. Anyway the rose garden is now looking a lot better and I will do some more in that garden next week if I get the chance. Plus I swept and decobwebbed.

My poor baby had a bad week last week. Because of the lack of manpower she had to spend two days going through rubbish at the tip looking for evidence. I dont really want to know what she encountered but I believe that Sydney does not recycle well. We took her out to dinner on Friday night which was lovely. She is such a treasure.

I bought myself my usual weekly supply of flowers for the house this week and I bought some extra yellow tulips to keep in the kitchen near the sink. They make me smile everytime I have to do something in the kitchen. I am also plotting on how I can get a new mixmaster. I would like a KitchenAid one and I havent decided on the colour yet - apple green, purple or orange are in the running. Another reason to smile when I go into the kitchen.

I am loving the latest MasterChef season even though I think that some parts of it are ridiculous and a bit harsh. I really hope Jake does well and I am coveting Alvin's glasses. Some contestants are annoying but not many (just two really). What I love about this show (whether it really is or not) is the consistently upbeat nature. After last Friday nights master class I am going to practise cooking pork tonight with yet another attempt at getting the crackling right.

Well, I am going to have another crack at walking Lucy today providing the rain holds off. If it rains I may go into the gym and just walk there for a little while. Have to get those muscles working properly again.

Was so thrilled to see Jessica Watson sail in the heads on Saturday afternoon. She looked so calm and powerful at the tiller of her yacht until she reached her family. Brought tears to my eyes too. She kept saying that she was just a normal teenager who had a dream. What a great role model. And the other special thing was when the other round-the-world sailors boarded the yacht to help her bring it into the dock. Jesse Martin and Mike Perham. So nice.

All in all it was a very satisfying week last week.
I hope this week is just as good and that everyone is also going to have a good week too.

Days of Wine and Roses are over

2010-05-10T09:14:00.002+10:00

(Maybe not the roses)
Weigh in - same weight - no loss no gain. I must be grateful for small mercies.

Not surprised really. Horrible weekend for someone supposedly watching her food intake. Friday night out was a total disaster. Too much wine, far far too much wine. You would think that a woman my age would know this but noooooo. So so sick to begin with and then absolutely no energy on Saturday.

So I have hitched my little red wagon to Zanna's and am not going to have any alcohol for 23 days. Why 23 days I dont really know, it was a number that popped into my head but it also takes me to the end of May. Then we will see.

I nearly capitulated last night (day 2!) when friends dropped in for drinks but I stuck to diet cordial and mineral water but I felt a bit grumpy. Maybe that is just part of the the drying out/detox feelings.

Had a lovely mothers day with my gorgeous children + one. We had a wonderful breakfast locally which left the rest of the day free to potter. I hope you all enjoyed yourselves too.

On a brighter note, foot feeling a lot better and am actually wearing shoes today rather than ugg boots. Will be taking it slowly and might even take Lucy for a small walk today. Will try to elevate it during the day and must remember to do physio exercises every day.

If you havent got the latest WW magazine have a look at it. There are some really nice winter warming recipes in it. I made the Veal Paprika last night and it was well accepted. I just make it for 4. I have a small portion, Poss has probably enough for 2 and there is another portion to put away for either later in the week or his lunch now that he is home and semi retired. Works out well.

I hope you all have a great week.

Week One (again) done and dusted

2010-05-05T11:22:00.003+10:00

I lost 700g this week. Only 4300g to go in this 10 week challenge to myself. Not sure what sounds better 4300g or 4.3 kilos.

Back on meds again and starting to feel slightly better. Definitely not taking as many (if any) painkillers lately. Foot is feeling less sore and I think my original diagnosis of severe deep bruising was correct. Still a bit sore and still wearing ugg boots most of the time but only now, because I dont want to rush back into shoes and aggravate it again and put the healing back. Probably next week.

So looking forward to being able to walk again or even god help me doing housework and gardening. I might be delirious!

Have a great week everyone.
:)

Autumn ramblings

2010-04-27T13:02:00.003+10:00

Okay have stuffed something up big time. Have hardly been able to walk, lots of pain. Am wearing my Ugg boots all the time because all other shoes hurt so much. Physio thinks it is just soft tissue damage and that it will take 3 weeks to mend and if it doesnt it is back to the surgeon again.

As a result last weeks weight loss efforts were dismal.

So on Saturday, I sat down with ice on my foot and went through the box of all the weight watchers booklets that I have accumulated over the years. Quite liked the "Time for Success" series which has weekly menus in them for the first 12 weeks. Discarded a lot of weekly pamphlets which I didnt read when I went so there is very little chance I will read it now and put everything in order and made a shoppping list.

I then went shopping on Sunday for supplies for the week. It was a very impressive shopping trolley with lots of great fresh food in it.

I made a "Zanna salad" for the week so I dont have to faff around every night and I set up a spreadsheet on my computer with my projected weight loss (still aiming for 500g a week) and a column for weekly weigh-ins. I dont think I will weigh in daily as it might make me complacent (something that has happened many times before).

Hopefully I will be able to control my eating as there is no exercise being done any more.

Contacted rheumatologist last week too via email and asked him if I could go back onto my medication before the 1st June appointment as I am living on painkillers just to have a normal day. Emailed reply - yes back on medication and have to see him this Friday.

Asked Mark last week to look at our pantry and devise a plan to rearrange everything because I can no longer get down to the bottom shelves where I actually kept all the canned goods and groceries. Darling man came up with a plan and I spent yesterday rearranging it all, cleaning and relining shelves and I must say that it seems to working well and looks so organised. Time will tell.

I hope you are all having a wonderful week. Finally getting cooler here in Sydney and sleeping is getting easier. The heaters will be brought back into the house this week and I will change to the winter doona next weekend. There will be some serious snuggling going on in my house. I love autumn.

Stick a fork in me, I'm done!

2010-04-20T16:55:00.004+10:00

I am moderating my comments because I was starting to get some weird ones but as usual I do get a bit behind.

Have put on more weight so have re-evaluated what I am doing and have decided that to aim for 1kg a week may be a wee bit ambitious. Have scaled it back to 500g per week for the next 10 weeks. I am looking more and more like my next sister who I love to pieces but who is really really overweight and I dont want to look that much like her.

My ankle is really really sore at the moment. Have a feeling that the last couple of weeks have done a lot of damage. The wedding in Townsville was beautiful but it was very hot, I walked and, dont tell my surgeon, danced far too much.

Then had to, and I mean had to, accompanied my beautiful daughter to the Easter Show. Lots more walking but sat whenever I could. Saw the diving, racing pigs which were so cute and the agility trials for the dogs. Had oysters and wine and bought an "old lady" shopping trolley to carry our stuff around.

More swelling, more ice.

Then had to, and I mean had to, go shopping with aforementioned beautiful daughter because she has moved to a new division and no longer has to wear her uniform. So it was shirt, vest, coat, shoes etc buying. I was very envious of her. Everything she tries on looks amazing. Made me feel proud but really frumpy.

By the end of the day , more ice and more swelling and then had to go out for dinner to Kirribilli by public transport.

I'm back on the painkillers and hobbling. I'm back at work and flat out again. I'm hungry because I am trying not to overeat. I need help.

On a happier note, Master Chef is back on TV again. Started last night and I love it again. So sad for the ones that had to go home on the first show but they should be proud that they were in the top 50 of the thousands that auditioned. The pressure test was making a pav. I have never made one and it has made me want to try. Except I would probably eat it all so I wont.

Hope everyone is okay and having a great week.

Busy Time

2010-04-07T09:59:00.003+10:00

If any of you get the chance go and see Carole King and James Taylor. We went up the Hunter Valley on the Easter Long Weekend and saw them at Hope Estate. From the opening bars of the first song I felt 18 again. So many great memories and their show was unbelieveable. Carole King at the tender age of 68 had so much energy she took my breath away. As an added bonus Lior was the support act. Great night was had by all.

We had lunch out on Sunday at a restaurant we have been to many times up there and I had the most amazing Lobster Bisque. If we go back to this restaurant in July when we go up for our friends weekend I will have this again so that my best friend Chez can taste and help me work out what is in it. I think I got most of the ingredients but of course couldnt get them all. It sounded like a taste test on MasterChef as I worked out what the ingredients were.

And speaking of MasterChef - woohoo it is back on April 19. Can't wait.

The latest Donna Hay magazine has arrived on my doorstep and it is full of wonderful winterish recipes. I can't wait to start experimenting. There are so many to try.

But it will all have to wait as we are off tomorrow to Townsville for a wedding. Poor Lucy - alone again. I dont think Gareth was much company last weekend but hopefully this is the last time we are away for a while. Between Jess and Gareth - hopefully they will be able to look after her.

Mark is easing into retirement and spending his time fixing windows and repainting them. If I had my way I would replace them all with aluminium but he is enjoying himself so be it.

Haven't hopped on the scales. Probably a bit scared too.
I will get there but I dont know how long it is going to take me. Seems like forever.
Have a good week
xxx

Week Two - Day one

2010-03-30T19:49:00.002+11:00

Yesterday was good. On track went to gym but had problem sleeping last night. Is it a menopause thing? or just the fact that summer doesnt seem to want to end.

Today was a disaster - up early to attend workshop in city - because daylight saving has not ended yet it was dark when we left home. Luckily M drove me.

Got to workshop at Central and guess what - tables and chairs weren't on the agenda. Stood most of the day. Is this a new thing to stop people from falling asleep? Very very tired - food consumption went out the window as it normally does when I am stressed but.....

tomorrow is another day and I will be back on track again.

Spoke to sister tonight and poor thing, she has been in pain since she broke her wrist/arm three weeks ago. Two doctors had diagnosed it as a compound fracture but all in alignment - because of the pain she went to specialist today and has found that there is a displaced bone in her wrist. Unless she wants to undergo an operation involving screws, clamps and god knows what else, since her wrist has already started to mend, he advised just letting nature take its course. She might have a slightly crooked wrist. Here's hoping she gets better soon.

Miss piggy is having an early night tonight.

Week One - Day 7?

2010-03-29T17:52:00.002+11:00

Monday morning - I weighed in this morning and managed to lose 1.8 kgs this week. This looks impressive but really it isnt as I put on 1.5kg the week before to put it all in perspective but at least I am on the downward slope again.

Got to the gym on Friday night. Was not going to go all the way home from work right until I got near the top of my street and then for once the little voice said, you know you will feel better if you do, and I kept going and it was right.

Three more days of work until the end of this school term. Have to go to a workshop in the city tomorrow so hopefully wont overindulge in the lunch and morning and afternoon tea provided. I find it hard to estimate this kind of food so tend to not bother recording but I will be sensible tomorrow.

Mark is cooking dinner at the moment which is amazing. He is a good cook but since he has semi retired he hasnt volunteered to do any of the cooking.

He is dropping me in the city tomorrow and then taking my Dyson vacuum cleaner back. It is one of the ones that has been recalled due to a fault. Will not have a vacuum cleaner for a little while - oh well them's the breaks.

New motto - Eat less move more.

It is coming - I am so excited

2010-03-27T16:39:00.003+11:00

Finally it is coming

I cant wait.
(and I also learnt how to embed youtube videos - woohoo)

Week One - Day Four

2010-03-26T11:26:00.002+11:00

Slight miscalculation yesterday and ended up eating baked beans (good protein and fibre though) for dinner so that I came in under my calories.

Something funny I noticed - I was hungry last night before dinner but after my rather small meal last night I wasnt hungry. I dont quite understand it but was thankful anyway.

Sleep was okay too.

So today (Friday) I am going to attempt to go to the gym after work for an hour. Hopefully between now and this afternoon I wont crash and burn.

Physio was yesterday and is progressing. Jess wants me to go to pilates tomorrow but still feel not quite ready yet. Plan to go during the school holidays when old teacher is teaching. I feel more comfortable with her then the new one but after I intend to go back to Saturday mornings at the beginning of next term. Also plan to go back to yoga.

Have a great weekend everyone - weigh in is Monday morning.

Week 1, Day Three - confessions of a jatz addict

2010-03-25T10:48:00.003+11:00

Truimph - whoo hoo.

Managed to salvage day After having a bad start with the jatz. Was so careful for the rest of the day and even went to the gym and did my light work out.
Re gym, am slowly increasing weights and reps but it is still relatively light.

Sometimes during the day I am like the energizer bunny and sometimes I feel like a wrung out dishcloth. The moods swings have been amazing.

Last night, about an hour after dinner, I was suddenly hungry. Craving carbs (read jatz). Made myself a cup of herbal tea and went to bed to watch Burn Notice, took half a sleeping pill about 15 mins before lights out and slept quite soundly without an assault from the hungry voice.

Hopefully I will only use the sleeping pills until I can retrain my body/mind back into a sleep pattern and get over whatever is keeping me awake.

Good times ahead.

Day Two

2010-03-24T11:51:00.000+11:00

The voice won last night. The weather has turned sticky again so that didn’t help. I lay in bed for an hour or more, eventually took half a sleeping pill, waited a bit longer listening to Mark snuffle, got up and made myself a cup of herbal tea and had 3 jatz. Then 3 more and then 3 more. Nine in total. Went back to bed and then, to make matters worse, slept through the alarm.

BUT have wrote this transgression in my food diary and have gone through today’s food list and removed some things I had planned to eat to compensate for the jatz.

The next time I have the urge to eat something that I know I shouldn’t, I hope I can remember prior to eating it that I will have to compensate by removing something I had planned to eat.

I am drinking my water but am continually hungry ( and whingy).

Tomorrow will be better.

Short and Sharp

2010-03-23T09:44:00.002+11:00

Disaster yesterday morning. After a lovely weekend with visiting friends got on the scales and had put on 1.5k in a week. @#$%

Back to square one.

Less food obviously but I want to manage it without actually being on a diet. You know, incorporate it in my normal day. Well maybe not my normal day because that obviously doesnt work.

Kept my calories within check yesterday but spent the greater part of last night awake and wanting to go to the kitchen and eat or drink something. What a headcase.

Today's menu includes a sandwich but I think I will go over my allowance because the beautiful pumpkin seed bread (2 slices) is worth a lot of points so I will need to rethink the carbs at lunch in future maybe cornbread or a wrap. Something I can still toast.

Happy News and a Brand New Week

2010-03-10T13:00:00.002+11:00

The happy news is that the baby elephant that they thought had died in its mother's womb has been born this morning at 3:27am ALIVE! The male calf is not out of the woods yet and still may not make it but I have put out an email on my work network and am hoping that the power of positive thinking will make him strong. That and the fairy dust I am throwing of course.

This post was supposed to come out on Monday. A brand new day for a brand new week but as often happens,life intervenes.

I have had two fairly ordinary weeks. Lost the plot yet again.

Back on my eating plan sort of. Going to the gym and doing little things. Physio thinks I may be able to start walking slowly on treadmill now. Will see how I go this afternoon because although I was told I can use the crosstrainer it still worries me.

Bought a kindle and it has arrived but while I have charged it at work have not had time to register it etc etc at home because I need passwords and keep forgetting to bring it to work. It can join my twenty or so books on my bedside table one I get it up and running.

Hard time for my sisters last week. One was in hospital having womens problems resolved and now has to do nothing for at least six weeks. This may prove to be an impossibility because she never stays still long but as it is her third similar operation she had better.

The other was away down the South Coast on a mini holiday when she lost her footing on a track down from a lighthouse and fell and broke her wrist. In a lot of pain and she is not good at pain.

I am going to get out my Wii Fit this week and work out how to use it. The children have used it but not me and I have had it since Christmas 2008. Gadget girl strikes again.

Jess and I went to see "The Blindside" last night which stars Sandra Bullock. This was a lovely movie and Sandra Bullock was great as Leigh Anne Tuohy who, if she is anything like the charater that Sandra Bullock portrayed, is an amazing woman with an amazing family. I didnt realise that it was based on a true story. Mark wouldnt come but I think he would have enjoyed it if he had - the big softie.

His retirement is going slowly. Went to work yesterday and really didnt want to be there. Working from home today and as the weather has changed and it is raining Lucy the Wonderdog will be glad.

Am trying to catch up with blogs (nothing to do work). There are 240 odd backed up in my reader but I will get there. I was on facebook a lot more than usual lately while Gareth was away but now I probably wont be there too often as I cant believe how much time I can waste on it. The hours just fly by.

Going to see King Lear this Sunday. I do so love Shakespeare. I also have to buy a dress for this wedding in Queensland. I guess Townsville in April will be warm. All our flights and accommodation are booked, wedding present bought. Children have decided not to come as it all worked out too expensive and Jess's partner was not invited.

Okay I had better get back to work. See ya.

I'm Back

2010-03-02T12:45:00.004+11:00

Firstly I want to thank Zanna for my award and I am working on the response.
Secondly, Sue I will get to you today. I thought it was you on Facebook but just wasnt sure.

Well, big news - I drove down to the rheumatologist at Chatswood this morning in peak hour. Took me about 45 minutes and I was pretty nervous and my ankle is a bit sore but I am also elated to have some measure of independence back. Mind you I had to check in when I arrived there and when I arrived at work. I think if Mark and Jess had their way I would be wrapped up in cottonwool and not allowed out again.

News fromm rheumatologist not so good. The rheumtoid factors in blood test negative but that apparently still doesnt mean that I dont have RA. Anyway something is attacking my body, quite aggressively. At this instance, I am stopping taking Arava medication as it doesnt seem to be doing anything and waiting 3 months for it to get out of my system and then having another blood test to see if there is any reaction. Of course if there is a flare-up then I guess I will be back earlier.

The joint at the bottom of my thumb on my left hand will need replacing but I have deferred that for a while because I have had enough of hospitals. The other joints on my right foot are disintegrating and will need to be fused - once again deferred until the pain becomes too much. Left foot - ankle okay but toes and mid foot not looking great. Will cross that bridge when I come to it.

Anyway enough doom and gloom. We just spent four glorious days in Kiama at the rugby 7's. Jess and Marc came too. Two lovely lunches at the Crooked River Winery and put it to Jess that it would be a lovely place to get married and have the reception. More guest friendly than the Hunter which is her pick at the moment. Anyway have planted the seed. Wanted to go for a paddle yesterday but because of the tsunami warning was not allowed on the beach. Mark and I got kicked off twice. Bad old people! Nearly made it to the water line the second time. Lucy the Wonderdog stayed with my sister and I think she was thoroughly spoiled and was quite sad to come home to our place. Obviously we dont give her the attention she has become used to. She moped around the house with a really sad look on her face. Oh, by the way, West Harbour won the rugby. Nice time had by all with too much wine and food and I am not getting back on the bloody scales until next Monday. Hopefully I can reverse some of the damage,.

Gareth arrives back home on Friday morning. Have been keeping up with him on Facebook and he appears to be having a wonderful time. One of his mates actually videoed him snowboarding and he makes it look so easy. Gen Y sure knows how to have fun.

Sorry for the slackness in not commenting. Back at work and busy busy busy. Dr appointments are taking up a lot of time too but should start to get back to normal soon.

Take care
xxx

Results

2010-02-18T12:54:00.002+11:00

I cant tell the joy I am feeling at the moment. I feel my life is slowly returning.

Visit to surgeon yesterday seemed really positive. Leg muscles are completely wasted of course but I can now not wear the aircast during the day when I am inside. He would prefer me to still wear it outside and when going up and down steps just in case I fall over.

Had a long talk about the other joints in my ankle and what will happen when and if they have to be fused. Not as worried as I was.

I can also return to pilates and yoga with the understanding that there will be things I cant do anymore. I can return to the gym and do weights, cross-trainer (which surprised me), cycle (not spin) and weights. No treadmill.

Swimming is back on the agenda but I think it will be at home for the rest of summer as fatigue does set in quickly.

Physio restarts tonight with a new physio.

Walking Lucy can start but ease into it slowly with little easy walks.

Since the beginning of the year I have lost nearly 5 kilos just by watching what I eat as there has been no exercise involved. I would have like to have lost more but I am still happy with what I am doing so far. Hopefully with some exercise it will help. Mark reminded me about the fact that muscle does weigh more so I think I will take some measurements as well.

After the surgeon we walked down to the MBT shop. MBT stands for Masai Balance Technology. I bought some cute/ugly sandals after a lesson in how to walk in them. I would have loaded a picture so that you know what I am talking about but this stupid computer at work (and I shouldnt complain about that) wont open the product page up.

Anyway speaking about work I had better get back to it.

Not a lot of good news

2010-02-06T21:55:00.002+11:00

Went to see the new rheumotologist on Friday. Took all my xrays (my god they were heavy) and last two blood tests. Liked him a lot. After looking through things he was not happy about the condition of my ankle. The other joint under the new joint is in pretty bad shape and once again I have been told to be very very careful. Damn I'm not even out of the aircast yet and more problems are looming on the horizon.

He sent me for more xrays of my hands and my other foot and ankle and I have to go and have a blood test and come back and see him again in 2 or 3 weeks. His poor receptionist - she fitted me in at the beginning of March at 7:40 a.m. The other good thing was he was running only 10 minutes late and apologised profusely. Didnt have to wait 90 minutes like I have been doing. Anyway I will have to ring and cancel appointment with old rheumotologist as I have no intention of going back there. This new doctor is in Chatswood but I really dont mind the travelling if I can see some improvement.

Although he scared me a little bit with his diagnosis of my xrays I feel strangely enthusiastic.

Also Anna found an MBT store near him so next time I go to Chatswood, I will see if they are open and have a look at their shoes. I have been interested in them for a while so it was nice to read your post. I will check first to make sure that they are suitable for my poor old ankles.

It is raining, raining, raining at the moment. Hasnt really stopped all day and seems to be getting heavier and heavier. Think the garage is leaking like a sieve and heaven help under the house. Probably flooded.

Washing machine broke down today. I have no idea when I will be able to get someone to come and fix it unless GOM can stay home one day this week.

Spoke to Gareth in Alaska tonight on dodgy internet connection. Seems to be extremely tired but in a better condition than he was a couple of nights ago when he was greatly hungover.

My software arrived for my computer this week. Was able to get it really cheaply through work so I finally have word and excel and lots of other new things I havent had time to look at. Even installed it myself.

Also found out how to put my calendar onto my iPhone plus put some selected music on the iPhone too for the times when I dont have the iPod with me. GOM got a USB port put into his new car so that I can finally listen to my iPod through the mediahub rather than having to use a Belkin in the cigarette lighter.

Still not sleeping well but I think it is changing. No more midnight snacking or even warm milk. Was just taking half a sleeping pill but havent even done that for the last two nights. Just move to another room so I dont keep GOM awake by fidgeting. Sleep for a couple of hours and then come back to my bed.

Lost 700g at last Mondays weigh-in. Should have lost more but went overboard when we went out to dinner with friends on Saturday night so last night when we went out I was prepared. Had a light breakfast and lunch so that I could lash out a bit on dinner and a couple of glasses of wine. I think it worked because there was no damage on my friend the scales this morning.

Anyway, it is getting late and I have some book reading to do. Enjoy the rest of your weekend.

A bit of a shock

2010-01-30T10:45:00.002+11:00

Had a call from Jess last weekend to say that she was putting herself and partner on a diet - I dont quite know why but anyway I told her about calorieking. When she came around she said that she thought it was a wonderful site so since I hadnt visited for a while I went and had a look.

In spite of all my good intentions about not counting points or calories and that I could do this on my own I decided to record my intake for 1 day.

Well......
By lunch time I had nearly used up the calories I had been allocated for the day. Hmmm - I think I can see a bit of a problem here. No wonder I am having trouble. Being sedentary doesnt help but still I was eating good food but just lots of it. I think it is called portion control.

Anyway I have continued on this week weighing, estimating and recording and not once have I managed to come in at the suggested calorie intake level for losing weight. Some days, even though I have tried, I have eaten nearly one and a half the amount of calories I should.

So my suggestion is if you think you are doing the right thing and still not losing any weight or worse, putting it on, record what you are eating for a couple of days - you might get a shock.

Anyway back at work this week. Relying on other people to drive you to and from work is the pits because I end up working long days waiting for people and by the time I get home there isnt any time to do anything else other than the basics. So many things to do at work that I sometimes dont quite know where to start. The phones havent been working properly which meant a lot of walking or yelling between offices, the smoke detectors went off yesterday afternoon for no reason and when one goes off they all go off and the noise is mind-numbing and they had to be disconnected and an emergency call put in to the maintenance company. Technician had just arrived yesterday when I was going home and luckily one of the teachers volunteered to stay behind.

Still not sleeping well no matter how tired I am becoming. Start and finish in my bed but sometime during the night I move to the guest bedroom because I hate keeping GOM awake. He too has to sleep.

New rheumatoligist visit next Friday. Managed to get a copy of the last blood tests from GP so I have something to take with me as well as all the x-rays. Thanks Anna for sending me that blog. Havent read it all but have added it to my reader list.

Jess got her new table and chairs this morning. Would you believe delivery was at 6:30.
Gareth leaves for Alaska on Monday. He has tickets to see the skeleton events at the winter olympics. His ex-girlfriend got them for him. He is also hoping to see the snowboarding. They are going to be a long 5 weeks for me but at least this time I have skype.

Have a good weekend everyone and I will catch up soon.

On the home stretch

2010-01-21T14:35:00.002+11:00

Well the cast came off yesterday and am now in an aircast boot for 4 weeks. Convinced the doctor that I would be alright sleeping without it - sleeping being the operative word but must admit that I worried that I would rip the inner stitches apart in my sleep. And I have to remember to put the boot back on when I get up in the middle of the night. A tricky manoeuvre when you are half asleep.

Also had my shower routine in the cast down pat and this morning was a bit of a disaster but I guess I will get there. The great thing about people, and me in particular, is that we adapt - maybe not as gracefully as we should but still we adapt.

Back to see doctor in 4 weeks with an x-ray. Thanks for the fingercrossings.

GOM picks up his new car today. Another black Subaru Liberty but I got a look at it yesterday and it is so much bigger than the model he has. I dont quite understand why we need such a big car - there is just us most of the time and of course, Lucy the wonderdog when she is invited out.

Heard from Jess today. Who am I kidding she rings me two or three times a day. They are thinking of coming back a day early as their friends have decided to come back early. Whoo Hoo - oh I mean that's sad. So she could be back on Friday instead of Saturday. Yay coffee together on Saturday maybe. If not, then probably Sunday. I miss her presence so much and so does her kitty, Kara. Mark and I go up and feed her everynight and play for a little while with her but I think she misses Jess horribly. I'm glad I am not the only one.

Gareth is still trying to find a new flatmate. Someone is coming to look today. He is also in the final countdown of his preps for his trip to Alaska. 11 days and he is off for 5 weeks. Will miss him but he has hooked up skype for me so we can talk when he is away and I can still have my weekly dose of Gareth.

Am enjoying my arthritis book immensely. Some very interesting things in it about strength training. Was reading it while I waited at physio, doctors, credit union etc etc yesterday and underlining things I wanted to remember. Will go through it with page markers too and list some of the things that are interesting such as the chapter about oils:

High anti-inflammatory oils - Fish oil and flaxseed oil
Moderate anti-inflammatory oils - Canola, Evening Primrose, Soybean, Blackcurrant seed, Olive and Borage
Pro-inflammatory oils (rich in Omega-6 Fatty Acids) - Safflower, corn, sunflower and cottonseed

The high and moderate anti-inflammatory oils are known to suppress inflammation and the last four encourage it.
Most processed food contain the Omega-6 Fatty Acids Oils - biscuits, crisps etc.

It got me looking a packages.

Also took the BMI test - knew I shouldnt have. I know that this test is not conclusive and should be done with stomach and hip measurements too but it was a bit scary and I think that the measurements would have been even more scary.

Anyway, so much to take in and so many plans to formulate and follow through.

My Plan (yes yet another one)

2010-01-19T11:33:00.003+11:00

My plan last week starting from Monday was to lose a kilo a week until I am back where I should be for health reasons. Well guess what I put on 100g between major weigh-ins (the minor weigh-ins went up and down like a yo-yo).

You dont have to be Einstein to work out why - basically the midnight munchies (or more accurately the between 2 a.m. and 4 a.m. munchies) were the problem. Now I think I am a fairly intelligent person and I know that eating during the time I should be sleeping is stupid but that didnt stop me at all.

The mind-numbing despair that comes at that time of the night/morning when you are somehow wide awake but desperately craving sleep is debilitating. BUT no excuses - still did the wrong thing and I knew it.

Have also discovered over the past two days - a bit late but nonetheless - that if I get up have a drink (chamomile tea or warm milk and half a banana) and instead of watching tv/reading/playing DS I go to the bed in the spare room I can lie down and fidget as much as I want without disturbing GOM. Bliss! I have been waking up a few hours later and going back to my bed and I am okay. The cool weather is also helping (it was a pleasant cool yesterday in Sydney but it was minus 4 degrees at Thredbo).

Got back onto track yesterday and the scales looked better this morning.

Had my first attempt at meditation yesterday. As usual my "wildmind" (a phrase I read in a blog this morning) ran, well wild. I think it is also called monkey chatter. I kept bringing myself back to the breath but it was no sooner back then off it ran again, chattering wildly. I will keep trying.

A small glimmer of hope arrived in the mail yesterday - a book. I had seen it at the physios when he put the cast on my leg and since I cant get out had found it on the internet and ordered it. This all happened before Christmas. It finally arrived yesterday. The book is "Strong Women and Men Beat Arthritis by Dr Miriam Nelson". I have only read a small part of it but find myself a bit overwhelmed by what it says. She could be speaking directly to me. I am so looking forward to the chapters on exercise and diet and know that I will be integrating some of the exercises into my day when I can.

The decluttering of my study is progressing slowly but well. I actually threw out all the "Table" magazines I had yesterday without going through each one. The rationale is that I have not looked at them in years and all this information is available on-line.

Also got another box of books to take to Lifeline. Still more to go but I dont want to scare GOM with the scale of what I am doing. How one (me) person could have accumulated so much paper is truly mindboggling and slightly scary.

Off to physio to take cast off tomorrow and then to surgeon for revisison. Keep all your collective fingers crossed for me.

Tired

2010-01-15T19:41:00.004+11:00

Only 4 more nights of purgatory until the cast comes off. Thank goddess! Another night with little sleep and having to be up early this morning to wait for grocery delivery (why I elected to have it delivered so early I dont know) has sent me spiralling down although I had a good result on those things that rule my life - the scales.

Was going really well this week foodwise until I went to my sister's for lunch. I guess that is something I have to learn how to do even after all these year - or else become a hermit.

I am nearly being driven mad trying to convert from a PC to a mac. Thankfully the Apple help desk is, well, helpful and relatively easy to get on to as I speak to them nearly every day.

Excuse any negative vibes that are coming out of the computer this morning but I am exhausted and at the end of my tether.

Enjoy your weekends.

All alone, finally

2010-01-08T11:44:00.003+11:00

GOM has gone out. Armed with my library reservation list, banking and shopping list. The house is relatively quiet except for my iTunes playing quietly in the background. Peace for a short time.

For someone who is retiring he sure is working hard. The bloody phone never stops ringing. Calls from France at all hours and of cause Sydney. How will this airline fly without him? He ties up the phoneline and steals my printer. Okay I have finished whinging now. I really really do love him dearly but this 24 hour 7 days a week is starting to grate. I know once I am mobile it wont be like this. We have always had our different interests.

Oh and while he is out he is thinking of getting a new car. The deal will be that Gareth will buy the Liberty at trade-in price and Mark will get a new Liberty or Mark will keep his old Liberty and we will lend Gareth the money to buy a new Impreza. My Impreza will then come back home to my garage where I can watch it and count the days until I can drive it again. I know it is good that it is being driven, and I know he will be super careful but remember this is the child that wrote his own car off just before Christmas because he wasnt concentrating on what he was doing. I just dont think about it most of the time.

On books I have finished two books in the last three days. I had started both books in December but was having trouble reading them. Since the first operation in May, my brain has been like a little grasshopper - springing from one thing to another, never completing anything. Decided to knuckle down and either:
Read the ends and return
Just return
Read them

After exploring the first idea, discounted and decided to make myself read them. I am glad that I did because I felt almost normal again when I realised that I was really enjoying them and didnt want to put them down to eat or cook.
The were
The Secret Scripture by Sebastian Barry and
What my bestfriend did by Lucy Dawson

Both completely different books which I guess shows my eclectic tastes.

So armed with the book reviews from an old Notebook magazine (Nov 2005) I checked out the local library for copies.
These books are
Julie and Julia by Julie Powell
Veuve Taylor by Henrietta Taylor
A Thousand Days in Venice by Marlena de Blasi

Ahead is a busy weekend. We are going to see "Wicked" tomorrow night. Then on Sunday there is a 60th birthday golf day (not for me to attend unfortunately as I think I would be a hindrance although I could sit in the clubhouse) and later a farewell for an elderly neighbour (she would hate that I described her as that) who has sold her house and is moving to the Mornington Peninsula to be nearer her daughter. This woman taught both my children to swim oh so many years ago. I still have a video of Gareth saying, "I'll try Mrs X, I'll try" in a plaintive little voice when she asked him to dog paddle across the pool and as for Jess the first time she was taken into the pool she screamed so much that a neighbour rang to see who was being murdered in the pool. Good times. Unfortunately her very fit and always active husband succumbed to Altzheimers over the last couple of years and is now in a home also on the peninsula. It is sad seeing the old neighbourhood change but change I know it will.

Anyway I'm off the iron. It takes my forever to iron sitting down but I eventually get there.

101 things in 1001 days

2010-01-07T12:02:00.003+11:00

I am a bit late starting this. I have read it on other blogs and stolen some other peoples ideas otherwise I would be here for 1001 days trying to complete this list.

Start Date: January 7, 2010
End Date: October 3, 2012
Completed: 0/101

1. Finish writing this 101 list by January 31, 2010
2. Clear out bookcase and donate books to local Lifeline charity
3. Donate clothing, high heeled shoes and bags to charity bins this summer
4. Call sisters once a week in next year (J 0/52) (D 0/52)
5. Remember friends and family's birthdays
6. Take a photo at the same time every day for a month
7. Reach final weight goal of 8kg less than I am now and stay there
8. Do a body composition test
9. Walk 10,000 steps a day starting from March 2010
10. Return to yoga in April
11. Return to pilates in March
12. Return to gym for at least 2 sessions per week starting March
13. Hire a personal trainer in March
14. Learn to meditate
15. Update my blog
16. Start making my own muesli again
17. Take a home-made lunch to work every day
18. Complete 101 recipes in 1001 days (0/101)
19. Eat at 10 new restaurants (0/10)
20. Keep a journal for every day of 2010
21. Go to a farmer's market
22. Go to Rozelle markets
23. Get tattoo
24. Have fish and chips on the beach at sunset
25. Go on a picnic
26. Do the Bondi – Coogee coast walk
27. Go to London, France and Italy with my main man
28. Get a massage
29. Get a pedicure every 6 weeks
30. Do a drumming workshop
31. Start quilting project and finish
32. Whip garden back into shape and keep it there
33. Harass builder about bifold doors onto deck
34. Expand my mini vegie garden
35. Paint christmas presents for friends
36. Make my own Christmas cards and have them ready to go
37. Walk across the harbour bridge
38. Do part or all of the 7 Bridges Walk in 2010
39. Take more pictures
40. Declutter my house one room at a time
41. Clear out boxes stored under my house - one box at a time
42. Redecorate the main bedroom
43. Organise/update of front verandah/front door
44. Read 34 books (0/34)
45. Visit the museum
46. Go to Canberra for art exhibition or floriade
47. Visit the art gallery of nsw
48. Go the ballet
49. Visit Anne in NZ
50. Visit Anne (different one) in Qld
51. Bottle my own italian tomato sauce
52. Become a WIRES volunteer
53. Travel the Farmgate route
54. Go to pictures at least 6 times a year (0/6)
55. Organise and rationalise cookbooks
56. Take off makeup and cleanse every single day
57. Give away/donate old videos
58. Reorganise cookware cupboard with better shelving
59. Coffee with daughter at least once a week when she is not working or away on holidays
60. Visit Tasmania
61. Visit Margaret River
62. Count alcohol free days
63. Drink 2 litres of water a day (0/1001)
64. Update this list each month
65. Host one dinner party/bbq per month in 2010 (6 people minimum)

to be continued

There will be more but I have spent enough time in front of the computer today. This is harder than I thought it would be but I can see the benefits of doing this. If you havent already made a list, start today.

Dark Moments

2010-01-06T12:55:00.003+11:00

Last night or more accurately early this morning as I wandered the house, turned the air conditioner on and off, played with my DS, read a little, lay on the lounge I was thinking once again about being overweight yet again and about going to a wedding in Townsville in April.

I actually thought to myself - when March comes and I am up and around again I will lose this extra flab.

Then a moment of clarity and honesty - who am I kidding. In the 6 weeks I will have I wont be able to do it. I am not superwoman, I am getting older and therefore the weight is harder to dislodge. I have to start now. I have to take some sort of responsibility now, not later, not in 6 weeks time - NOW.

But I dont want to diet. I dont want to count points or track. These two things are things that set me up for failure and the spiral back to feeling hopeless again.

Well I've told you the donts but I really dont know what the dos are or more accurately the dos that I will be able to do.

I know I have to cut down on the amount I eat. Stop the mindless snacking (thank goodness all the Christmas food has just about gone). Eat more fresh fruit and vegetables. Drink more water. Limit alcohol intake.

Devise some sort of exercise program that I can do sitting or lying down.

I know what I have to do - the test is doing it. Part of me really really wants to but part of me doesnt.

That is the part that sat on the lounge early this morning crying about the fact that I wanted my life back. Just one of those moments when everything seemed at its blackest. It has passed. I am calm again.

I have a few ideas about coping but I wont bore you with them unless I do them and they work.

Going quietly mad

2010-01-03T15:35:00.003+11:00

You may have noticed that I am posting a little bit more lately. I am going slightly mad sitting here unable to exercise or do anything around the house.

Sounds good doesnt it and it is in theory but I am going stir crazy.

Anyway I have changed my picture today which was relatively easy for me (luddite that I am) and I have an email into Zanna about changing the template on my blog.

I have been researching new hairstyles and think when I am finally released from home detention I will go with a tapered bob like Ellen Barkins. The good thing is to achieve this style my hair needs to grow a bit and since I cant get out that is what it is doing. My hairdresser has actually offered to come and cut my hair for me but I think I will sit it out.

Also I come from the age when you were younger you used to pluck your eyebrows to within an inch of their hairy little lives. Guess what, something I didnt know then but know now - after a certain age they dont grow back and actually disappear especially if you are fair. So I have started practising how to draw them in lightly. I must admit I think it looks strange but I feel that by the time I go back to work I will be used to it.

My gorgeous GOM (grumpy old man) has started downloading all his personal emails off his work email account. This retirement talk is starting to look serious. I wonder if, when it does happen, he will mind if I leave him a list of jobs to be done every day. I might just share my jobs list with him and tell him to feel free to do anything off it while I'm not there. Sounds like a plan and when it happens I will let you know how it goes.

He changed the sheets on the bed this morning and we had a discussion about what colour sheets he should put back on the bed. I told him to pick any colour as I just didnt care at the moment (I really can be very picky about colour coordination and I am sure he thought it was a trap). I told him it was his choice until I was well enough to do it myself and told me I was obviously well enough to hinder him. Whatever!

Last September some girlfriends gave my a gift voucher for Jacqui E and I have been in an out several times but couldnt find anything that I wanted. Jess snuck past enemy lines last week (I cant remember which day as they are all the same at the moment) and liberated me for a short time by taking me to the local mall for coffee. We also went to Jacqui E and I got two tops and a pretty cardigan for a little bit more than the gift voucher. One of the tops was reduced from $99.95 to $19.95. Makes you wonder doesnt it how much it originally cost to make. I might be wrong and they might be selling it at a loss to clear the stock but as I am old and cynical I doubt it.

At the moment he is outside, in the rain, mowing the back lawn because the grass is too long for Lucy the Wonderdog. When she absolutely has to go outside in the damp she prances around on tippytoes. Amazing and funny to watch.

Anyway I am off to make GOM's life a misery again. So much time and so little to do.

Happy New Year

2010-01-01T12:24:00.004+11:00

Well, here we are in 2010. I wish all of you who I really count as dear friends a wonderful one.

Christmas was good to me. I got the new Stephanie Alexander cookbook, a Japanese maple bonsai and wait for it.....
a new iMac.

Gareth says that I have restored his faith in Christmas. He said that a lot of the excitement has gone out of Christmas because everyone seems to know what they are getting except for me and the computer. The history is that Mark is hopeless at buying presents which is partly my fault because usually when I want something I just get it and it doesnt leave a lot of scope for present buying. And I thought that we weren't buying presents this year as we have bought tickets to the Carol King/James Taylor concert at Hope Estate in the Hunter at Easter so I thought that would do.

On Christmas morning we went up to Jess's for breakfast and I got my cookbook and bonsai and I was happy. Mark had gone out and bought himself Christmas presents since I couldnt get out and brought them home and I wrapped them and put them under the tree. After everyone had opened their presents Jess carried this big box over to me and I was to say the least surprised. When I opened it I was astounded. I needed a new computer but I didnt think I was going to get a Mac. I had suggested buying one a couple of weeks ago to replace my laptop but was told no. Sneaky bastard.

Anyway I have spent the past 10 days playing with my new computer. Have transferred my iTunes and photos from pc. Have established a calendar (iCal) which now has everyones birthdays in it as automatic reminders. The only thing I haven't done is transfer my working files as I have not bought the office software yet. I can get it cheaply through work but have to wait until school goes back at the end of this month. Worth the wait and I can still use by pc if I have to.

Last night, new years eve, was spent at the golf club. A friend, who wasn't coming with us as he had decided on a quiet night at home, offered to drive us there. He turned up in a tuxedo, chauffeur's hat and black dress thongs (footwear). When we got out the front of our house in the driveway he opened his boot and pulled out two chairs, a small table, champagne, beer and a dip and crackers. It was a lovely and hilarious start to the night.
(Hooray I managed to upload a picture - I love my mac!)

Anyway I had better be off as we have had a rather late start to the day. Am working on ideas for what I would like to achieve this year - mainly trying to get through this year without having to go to hospital again would be lovely but that is something that is beyond my control so I am concentrating on things I can control.

Love to you all - happy new year
xxx

Part of an email from a friend that I wish for my friends or fiends

2009-12-24T21:47:00.001+11:00

True Friendship... SCOTTISH STYLE!!
(None of that Sissy sh1te)
Are ye tired o those pish weak 'friendship' poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality? Well, here are a series o promises that actually speak of true friendship. You will see no cute wee smiley faces on this card .
Just the stone cold truth o a great friendship.

1. When ye are sad -- I will help you get pished and plot revenge against the bastard who made ye sad.
2. When ye are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking ye.

3. When ye smile -- I will know ye are thinking of something that I would probably want to be involved in.

4. When ye are scared -- I will take the pish oot o you every chance I get,
until you're NOT.

5. When ye are worried -- I will tell ye stories about how much worse it could be until YE STOP WHINING!

6. When yer confused -- I will try to use only wee words.

7. When ye are sick -- Stay the f*ck away frae me until ye are well again.
I don't want whatever ye've got.

8. When ye fall, I will laugh my f*ckin heed aff at you, you clumsy arse,
.......but I'll help you up.

9. This is my oath.... I pledge it tae the end.
'Why?' you may ask;
Because you are my friend.

Friendship is like pishing your pants, everyone can see it, but only you can feel the true warmth.

Send this to 10 o yer closest friends,
Then get depressed because ye can only think o 4 .

Merry Christmas

2009-12-23T13:18:00.002+11:00

I hope everyone has a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

I am recovering well. Stitches came out last Wednesday and new cast put on. Have it for 4 more weeks. Then back to the doctor and into the aircast boot thingey for another 4 weeks. Am able to weight bear so that has made life easier. Wont know results for sure until I can walk again to see what range of movement I will have.

Enjoy yourselves on Christmas day and will be back soon.

What I Want/Wish/Need for 2010

2009-12-15T16:22:00.004+11:00

My wishlist begins with
Calmness – to sit and breath – Meditate daily
To Be Able to Let Go – To not be so prickly and take offence with people
To not feel threatened (not as sinister as it sounds) – to realise that I am not that important and the world will keep turning whether I am in that particular spot or not
To downsize my life - Simplify
Good health – Maybe beyond my control but I will give it a good try
To change my priorities – Not sure what this means – at the moment I want to become a hermit but I’m sure that isn’t what I really want
To keep a written journal for 365 days - No matter what
To take more photographs – to have a tangible reminder of things that delight me
To honour my body – poor broken thing that it is (pathetic isn’t it)
To clear the clutter – a daunting task and something I have wanted to do for a long time and have started in many ways but not enough

I wrote the above 2-3 weeks ago then I read an article in January's Oprah by Michelle Burford called "The Breakthrough". I could have written this article (except the African-American references) and if I was this literate, especially the beginning line "every January for 15 years I committed to a different weight loss scheme....". She has an "If-I-Do-Just-Two-Things-This-Year List. Small steps - only a couple such as last year her steps were completing five jumping jacks and having one tablespoon of flaxseed everyday. By mid year she felt confident enough to start powerwalking. She has saved a lot of money in transportation costs but she has also lost 40 pounds and 5 inches off her middle. Her cholesterol and blood pressure are now normal. Now I dont know what her starting weight was but this article has given me a glimmer of hope and made me realise that maybe I want/wish/need too much. So this year I am going to aim at the following:

Good health: (when I can walk again - 10,000 steps a day) - reducing alcohol consumption and stop eating the food I absolutely love but which doesnt love me at all (grammar?). I have finally got off my butt and got a referral to a new rheumatologist for a second opinion. His office doesnt reopen until 11 January and I will probably have to wait months to get in to see him but as least I feel a bit more proactive now rather than sitting around watching my body deteriorate.

Even though it wasnt on the original list I may include a tablespoon of flaxseed everyday.

Hopefully during the year I can add a few more things from list but by taking the New Year Resolution pressure off and just chilling out I may achieve something.

So my dear friends, hang on - 2010 may be bumpy but it is a ride I wouldnt miss for the world. Afterall what is the alternative?

Explanation

2009-12-03T22:01:00.004+11:00

I'll try to explain what is happening as requested.

Over a month ago and I cant remember when I started to get a condition I have since found out is called "dropped foot". Physio thought it was just that the tendon called tibialis anterior was wasted from non use. Have been working hard at improving it. About a month ago, I tried to move a table on the deck by bracing and pushing. Now this may or may not have anything to do with anything because as soon as I started I realised that it was not a smart thing to do and stopped. But, from this point on my ankle started to make a noise when I walked. Now I am not sure whether it was a noise that you can hear or just something that resonated through my body. Anyways, I knew it was probably not good.

Told the physio and he told me not to panic and worry the surgeon. Talked to friends who told me to worry so I emailed the surgeon and he rang me the same day and put me back on crutches and in the aircast until he could see me two days later just in case the prosthesis in my ankle was damaged.

Xray showed no damage to prosthesis but he could feel/hear the noise I was talking about and he was worried that a spur might be forming and that the spur could rupture the abovementioned tendon so he sent me for an ultrasound and a CT scan.
Which as previously described happened yesterday.

Got a call this morning from surgeon's office and was told I needed to come in this afternoon and see him. So off I trundled after work and evetually got into see him late this afternoon, after 6. While I was sitting in the waiting room his receptionist asked me to fill out the paper work for admittance to hospital on Monday morning. Bit of a shock. When I eventually saw the dr he explained to me about the operation which is longwinded and boring and the prognosis is not good. Dont know how long I will be in hospital for but definitely not day surgery as I was hoping for. Then 6 weeks in plaster, 4 weeks in air cast all non weightbearing and then still 2 weeks of not being about to drive. In total 3 months before I can drive again.

Think I have run the full range of emotions since 6 pm tonight. Disbelieving, angry and despairing. Another Christmas in plaster. Six weeks school holidays wasted yet again. Bloody crutches - which are difficult with the arthritis in my arms and hands and make me ache all over.

Oh and this was probably all caused by the rheumatoid arthritis and the another tendon in my foot, tibialis posterior while not ruptured is not looking good.

If you google ruptured tibialis anterior then it gives a pretty good description of what is happening if I have not explained it well.

So many things to do of the next three days. Cancel Jess's birthday dinner. Cancel other doctor appointment. Cancel hairdressers. I have to try and do all my Christmas shopping this weekend. I will have to also go to work to finalise the end of year reports and organise things for next year.

I had better go to bed and take a sleeping pill as I am starting to get angry again.

On a brighter note, Gareth is fine. Took car straight to insurance assessor and they have written it off and he will get more for it than if he traded it in. He has a hire car for a week as part of his insurance.

Signing out now. Dont know when I am back but back I will be.

This Week so far

2009-12-03T12:39:00.004+11:00

Well had the ultrasound and ct scan done yesterday.

Not good I think. The tibialis anterior tendon has ruptured. Another operation soon if it is not too late already. Surgeon's office has rung me this morning and moved up my appointment from next Wednesday to tonight. So when I finish work (I have had so much time off lately new boss must think he has got a crock) I have to go home and pick up films and a CD from yesterday and head back down to surgeons office for meeting. At least I know the way there now and wont get lost - not like yesterday - but that is another story. How many times can I person get lost in one day and seem to cause so much havoc on the road? It was a wonder I didnt feature on the traffic report!

While talking to the doctors office this morning, son rang. On his way to credit union had had an accident and thinks he has virtually written off his car. Thankfully he is okay and so is the person he hit. He is driving his car home and we will work it out from there. I can replace his car but I cant replace him so I am grateful.

Tomorrow I am going to the funeral of my sister's partner's son. Such a waste. 32 years old and a drug and alcohol addict. Had an epiliptic fit and fell and hit his head. Massive head injuries and never regained consciousness. They turned off his life support last Thursday and he died Friday morning. P is such a lovely man and this was his only child.

Jess has lent me her GPS so that I can find the crematorium without any trouble and am not late.

I am finding that as I get older I am becoming more hesitant about driving in areas that I am not familiar with. I remember older friends going through this and could never understand it. Part of the problem for me is that Jess will drive me whenever she is available so I think that might be affecting my confidence. Anyway, not going to let this happen. I am going to buy my own GPS so I know at least where I am going and what lane I should be in.

Anyway, in case I dont get back to report on outcome of drs appt before the weekend arrives, have a great one.

2009-12-03T12:39:00.001+11:00

Tripped and fell......

2009-11-30T10:04:00.002+11:00

Metaphorically speaking (dont panic still upright really)

An elderly neighbour who taught both my children to swim yonks ago is moving to the Mornington Peninsula to be near her daughter as EN husband has alzheimers and has been moved to a nursing home in Victoria. EN needs the support of her daughter who lives there. So sad to see her house up for sale.

Anyway we went to a neighbourhood farewell for her last night. Guess what - drank too much and ate totally inappropriate foods. The scales this morning showed this too. Was doing so well. I am so angry with myself. I know I am supposed to think of well, what's done is done and move on, but I keep thinking how stupid I am.

First thought was, that's it - no more alcohol in December. Then I thought - I have drinks and trivia this Friday, Jess's birthday next Tuesday, etc etc etc. Okay, what I am going to try to do is this (weak willed creature that I am):

No alcohol - Monday to Thursday
Friday - Three drinks maximum (one at each event I am going to)
Saturday and Sunday - no drinks
Monday - no drinks
Tuesday - one drink with dinner
Wednesday - none
Thursday - none
Friday - we will see

Not much of a plan but the best I can do (repeating that I am very weak willed).

Saturday was so hot here that instead of trying to do all the housework that I should have done I slept..... for hours. Sunday was spent trying to catch up with everything I should have done on Saturday. I am on holidays again in 3 weeks or else I would seriously have to consider getting off this crazy merry-go-round.

Anyway back to work. Little rant has finished.

Little Ramblings

2009-11-27T11:47:00.002+11:00

I was talking to Mark about you girls and he said, how do I know you are who you say you are. Well I suppose until I meet you I dont but somehow I do. LOL.

Well finally after a few little losses have managed a loss of 900g this week. Funnily I think it was that man of mine again who may have got through to me. He actually told me he was worried that all the weight I was putting on was adding to the strain on my joints in particular my ankle. Love him to bits - such a tactful way to say "get your act together". Trying hard to keep on the move without doing any exercise. Still trying to rest ankle until ultrasound next week. Wont see the surgeon again until following week. Please keep everything crossed for me. Anyway all those dangerous rolls around my middle are decreasing.

Nothing much else to report - work as usual and hopefully a quiet weekend coming up. I guess I should start to think about Christmas cards too. The weeks are flying by so quickly and Christmas will be upon us before we know it.
Enjoy yourselves

Procrastinator

2009-11-20T11:55:00.002+11:00

I have been procrastinating a lot lately. Instead of getting in and doing what I have to do I put things off and then feel bad because I havent done them.

And usually when I procrastinate it involves food. Something along the lines of I wont do such-and-such now so I will sit and read the paper and eat instead.

I lost some weight this week. I know this sounds stupid but although I weighed in last night at WW and knew I had lost some weight I didnt check to see how much. Maybe this is a good thing.

Some good news on the ankle - the prosthesis is okay but the surgeon could feel/hear what I was talking about. A sort of a grinding. He thinks that maybe a spur is forming near that tendon that runs down the front of the leg and the worst scenario is that it might cause this tendon to rupture. Mind you that is the worst scenario. Anyway off in early December for an ultrasound and maybe a CT scan and then we will hopefully know what the next step is going to be.

Other than that nothing to report. Have a new little friend at work - a swamp wallaby came down to the window yesterday. He looked so cute hiding behind the ferns and peering over. By the time I got my camera out (and no I still havent worked out how to download pictures) he was off.

Sydney is hot hot hot at the moment. Sleeping is difficult and relief doesnt look like it is coming anytime soon. A lot of the state, and other states as well, are at catastrophic fire danger. Wasnt sure I was going to get into the national park to work today but the warning is standing at Severe Fire Danger so it was okay.
Summer is well and truly here. The heat is a bad but it is the humidity that is the killer.

Anyway have a great weekend, talk soon............

Not a sad post just fact

2009-11-17T13:13:00.003+11:00

Not after sympathy just letting you know where I am at.

Home again, on crutches with foot back in boot.

Have an appointment with surgeon early tomorrow morning after xraying.

May have done something stupid to a not fully healed new ankle. Hopefully not. I am such a doofus.

C'est la vie! Onward and upward! .......and all that crap.

A Fraud

2009-11-12T11:42:00.002+11:00

I really must do something about that photo - looks nothing like me anymore - boy have I stacked the weight on. Funny I dont see it when I look in the mirror but I definitely see it when someone sneaks a photo of me. And of course my clothes - I dont even want to think of summer at the moment.

But Lucy looks the same.

I am finding losing the weight really hard not only because of my age because it is harder to do when there is just two of you. Funny that.

Ankle is still sore - oh yes I forgot - a couple of weeks ago I got out into the garden for the first time in yonks and I may have done something silly. This is a secret at the moment from Mark as I dont want an "I told you so" coming my way. Going back to physio tomorrow so I will discuss it with Robbie. Keep your fingers crossed for me. Seems to be getting better.

Back at yoga and loving it.

Another joint is gone. The joint at the base of my left thumb has died or whatever they do. Nothing can be done (Dr P has said that before and we will wait and see). Dr suggested wearing a wrist splint to give joint some support. Lighting stove is becoming a challenge and opening doors can be tricky but honestly who cares. I can eventually see me in one of those little carts terrorising the neighbourhood.

Biopsy on mole on ankle also turned out fine.

Bathroom is finished and hopefully separate toilet will be finished next week and I can reclaim the front verandah from being a builders site. Will post pictures as soon as I work out how to download them from new camera - Wonderful birthday present from children - Mark has bought me tickets for dinner and Wicked. Must sort that out soon.

My eldest sister visited from Queensland with her partner and dog. Lovely time had by all and the beautiful daughter took us for a drive around the old 'hood so we could see what was happening. Our old house looks so sad and neglected. It wasn't a flash house but it had a lovely garden and Dad always maintained it well. I'd really like to give someone a swift kick up the kaiser. The tour culminated with lunch at Woolwich Pier Hotel. All in all a pleasant day and a pleasant visit.

Such a busy time of year and the calendar is starting to fill up. I am trying to pace things this year - not going out Friday night, Saturday night and Sunday. It just exhausts us - the weekends are meant for rest and gardening of course. Cant wait to hit the nursery to spruce up front verandah.

Anne, see you arent the only one who can ramble. Have a great weekend everyone and you are all, always in my thoughts.

Chocolat

2009-09-25T12:51:00.004+10:00

Something I have been pondering - Last week I bought a block of Lindt chocolate - Orange Intense. Dont ask me why - I dont even particularly like dark chocolate but I do like the orange/chocolate meld thing. Every night this week since Tuesday Mark and I have had a square each after dinner. Now since Tuesday I have virtually stopped feeling nauseous all the time and I have been sleeping better. Actually we both have been sleeping better. Does dark chocolate hold some magical powers? Reminds me of one of my favourite books - Chocolat by Joanne Harris. Mystical and Magical stuff.

Some other good things -
Lost 100g (LOL - but better than putting on)
Bacterial stomach infection has gone
On at least two occasions, in the early morning, my right ankle has actually looked like an ankle and not a swollen tree stump.

Now a recap
One of my sisters came up and spent last Sunday with me which meant that I didnt get any gardening done but it was lovely to sit and chat.

My other sister, supervising the sale of Mum's house in Qld, managed the sale within one week for a really good price. Way to go! One less worry.

Gareth's cast finally off his arm. He took it off himself. Back to the snow fields this weekend not that it has stopped him snowboarding. Boys!

Think my DSLite is helping me. Either way I enjoy doing it.

The red dust day was incredible. Could not believe the sky on my way to the gym for my shower (yes I am still doing this). Mind you I think we will be cleaning up for a long while to come. The red dust just blended with the dust coming out of the bathroom. Just heard that our red dust has fallen in Auckland! We really are a sharing and caring nation.

Bathroom was waterproofed yesterday, the new ceiling has gone in, the drains are being done today and the tiling starts on Monday (I hope). Lucy needs another bath as she has turned back in to a "builders dog".

If I had just talked a little louder at WW meeting last night I might have been in trouble - the question was: What do you think of when I say Lasagne, Fish and Chips and there was something else. Everyone else was saying things like "fatty" and all I could come up with was "yum". Bad bad Julie.

Anne I can now see you on Facebook and will be able to keep in touch and comment. Anni if you have time to read this - I am so jealous and you sound like you are having a ball.

Have a great weekend everyone and take care.

A Need to Talk

2009-09-17T10:57:00.003+10:00

I was thinking this morning how sick and fed up I feel at the moment and then I thought that I could tell you guys.

I am trying really hard to get myself back in some sort of routine eating, exercise and just living but finding it extremely hard.

Not having a bathroom is extremely hard. I know I know that in the long run it will be all worth it but I am exhausted. I feel like Mark and I are part of of tribe of nomads setting off each morning in search of a shower. So many problems have come up with the old bathroom - we have virtually replaced all the plumbing in the house because the old pipes were leaking into the internal walls and now it is just a waiting game as we wait for the bricks to dry. Luckily the builder is meticulous otherwise we could have more problems later down the road. Anyway the plumbing and taps in the laundry have been replaced, the new plumbing is installed in the bathroom, the bathroom walls have all been rerendered, the new ceiling goes in today and the floor in the bathroom is being topped. Hopefully the tiles can go on next week but we will have to see how the drying out progresses. Today it is 30 degrees so that might help with the process.

Healthwise - I am sore and aching everywhere. Not just my new ankle which is still horribly swollen. Because my blood pressure has gone up again and that medication has been increased my RA medication has been decreased and I am slowly seizing up. Maybe the BP problem is caused by my weight or lack of exercise or both. It really is a catch-22 situation. My stomach is still acting up - I go for the Urea Breath Test next Monday morning and I dont know what to expect there. The antibiotics I took 6 weeks ago were supposed to clear up the bacterial infection but who knows. (Just spoke to Mark on the phone who is worried about how I feel and his presciption is drink "real" coke - LOL).

I want my old life back!

The song that keeps running through my mind is "Mother's Little Helpers" by the Stones - "What a drag it is getting old".

Anyway - I am trying (yet again) a new approach to losing weight. I have increased my points from 18 (really not at all realistic for me - I feel deprived) to 25 and will see how that goes. If I can lose weight slowly on 25 points a day I will continue if not I will reduce it by 1 point each week - looking for the happy balance. Not the approved method but I am past worrying about it and no one needs to know except me and you.

Now some positive - I really want to do part of the Seven Bridges Walk next month with Jess. I thought I would do the part of the walk in her area in case I have a problem and we could call on her colleagues to help me if they werent busy. At the moment I cant see me even completing one stage but I did go an buy new runners on Tuesday so that I can try and break them in beforehand. (The guy at Footlocker in HOrnsby was great but people make me laugh when they see my right foot with the scarring still very much in evidence - he didnt want to lace the shoe too tightly as he was so worried he was going to hurt me.)

Anyway, I do feel better now I have spoken to you - life is such a bitch sometimes.

Today

2009-08-26T09:07:00.002+10:00

Today I sit here in my black clothes waiting for my children to come and collect me to take me to my mother's funeral. I wish I could fit into something more colourful but I cant so black it is.

I have bought the spot in a garden at the crematorium I know she would have loved, brought her ashes back from Queensland, arranged for the plaque with a little picture of a cat on it as a reminder of her beloved Angel, the dreaded tiger cat, written my little speech as no one else wants to speak, picked the music - Time to Say Goodbye (Con Te Partiro) by Sarah Brightman and Andrea Bocelli and Somewhere over the Rainbow/A wonderful world by Israel Kam...... (cant spell or pronounce his name), organised the food for a light lunch afterwards - let me see was there anything else.

Not everyone is coming - we made a conscious decision that it would only be immediate family and the interstate branch has decided not to come. Sad but understandable. They have probably already said their goodbyes. This has been dragging on for months.

What made me post this morning was reading a post about someones Grandmother. Mum's mum was the complete opposite to Mum. She lived in South Hurstville in an old weatherboard house with an enormous chook yard, a gigantic tree (may have been oak) in the side yard with a rope swing, lots of interesting outbuildings, no inside toilet and I loved going there. I remember she used to let me eat my vegetables raw because that was the way I preferred them. I remember sitting by her coal fire listening to the radio. She was a small woman who had been married to a harsh man who was luckily gone by the time I arrived. I loved her so much and due to troubles at home I spent a lot of time with her especially in the school holidays or when I was sick. She raised rabbits too. It was only later that I realised that these little creatures that we dressed up and wheeled around in a dolls pram were destined for someones dinner table. One of the many ways she eked out her meagre existence.
I am sorry my glorious daughter never met her. I think they share the same spirit.

Anyway I am getting teary remembering a time that has long passed.

Today another chapter of that story ends - I hope my mother has found peace. I think it eluded her during her life but we all deserve a happy ending.

Good Intentions

2009-08-23T11:10:00.001+10:00

As was once famously mentioned

“Good intentions don’t amount to a hill of beans when alcohol is involved”

4 glasses of wine
beer battered fish and chips and salad
a giant sausage roll and sauce (what was I thinking)
1 large skim milk flat white (a tiny bit of sanity)

Also there was a lot and I mean a lot of walking involved. Something that I am not supposed to do at the moment. I only just made it home – my right ankle really was a cankle or in the advanced stages of elephantitis by the time I got to bed around midnight after leaving home at 3.

There was talk of attending the rugby grandfinal in two weeks time and then doing a pub crawl back to central and then dinner. (My God - I am going to have to get new friends - I cant keep up with these ones LOL). I have let Mark know that I probably wont be going to the rugby but I will meet them for dinner minus the pub crawl if it goes ahead.

Time to grow up and slow down.

Enchanted mirrors!

2009-08-22T13:50:00.002+10:00

Well here I am again. My rehab from ankle operation is taking up a lot of my time plus it is amazing how quickly you lose flexibility and strength spending 10 weeks in a cast so pilates three times a week is on the agenda and gradually I am clawing my way back but this is going to take a while which is frustrating the hell out of me. Wow, wasnt that a long sentence.

Anyway, about the title enchanted mirrors. I think all my mirrors at home are enchanted by a benign fairy godmother. I look into them and I think great I look okay and then I go out and sometimes it is me catching a glimpse of myself in a window or as was today in a change room at Sussan.

Doesnt look anything like me or at least the mental picture I have of myself and I really must get some sort of mirror arrangement for the back of my head, how did I leave the house with my hair looking like that at the back. When did I get so big and I really mean big. Tried on a pair of jeans in Sussans and a top and both were too small and they were the larger size than I used to wear. Left without buying and feeling dispirited.

That area around my middle which us over 50s are constantly being told to worry about is now really something worth worrying about.

So I have sat down and tried to nut out a menu for the next week which I will endeavour not to deviate from.

So, just have to get through the rugby tonight and early dinner with friends in the city and drinks with more friends tomorrow night. Lordy how am I going to do this. Weak willed lily-livered person that I am.

But maybe it will be an Oprah Aha moment for me. I know this has been building for a couple of months now but I finally think (hope) I am at the limit of my self-abuse (poor body) and will start fighting my way back and believe me it will be a fight.

A bright spot is Jess and I are going to the STitches and Craft Fair tomorrow to enlarge my hoard of material for my patchwork project and I know that she will keep me on the straight and narrow. She might be small but she is tough.

By the way an update
* Mark turned 59 yesterday and we had a lovely dinner with friends at local Vietnamese restaurant
* Gareth broke his wrist snowboarding a couple of weekends ago but you will be glad to know he has had a fibreglass cast put on so he can still go snowboarding
* Jess's police netball team came first in their netball grade and play their semifinal today
* My boss of the last 16 years retired at the end of last term
* I have a new much much younger boss now who seems lovely and is taking it slowly I think so as not to upset us oldies
* Mum is finally coming to rest at Palmdale Cemetry on Central Coast this week
* Mark talking about partially retiring in October
* Bathroom renovations started this week - finally
* I bought a new sewing machine (my first one since before I got married) and while I have not actually used it yet it is out of its box and my study has been rearranged to accommodate it.

Off to get ready for the rugby now so I hope you are all having a great weekend and I will catch up soon.

I am going to try

2009-07-14T11:17:00.002+10:00

I am going to try and get myself back into some sort of routine while I am on holidays.

I had my first physio yesterday, nothing too strenuous. It will be three times a week for a while I think.

Went back to pilates on Saturday. Not the normal teacher, in fact not a pilates instrutor, and while it resembled pilates it really wasnt. By Sunday night I couldnt lie down on the lounge and once I did get there couldnt get back up. So so sore. Who would have thought that 10 weeks of inactivity and eating would have done so much damage. I was okay on Monday so went back for another session (glutton for punishment) and this time it was beloved instructor and lots of old friends and it went fairly smoothly although last night my pelvic floor was a bit sad and required a heatpack.

Today I am getting my hair cut. Hasnt been done for over 10 weeks so I look abit wild and woolly. Looking at the time I had better get my skates on.

Put on 10 kilos (a kilo a week) mainly through boredom and inactivity. I am going to make up a very easy gym program, mainly upper body, today so that I can feel like I am doing something.

I need new gym shoes but have only been out of the aircast and slipper for a few days and my ankle swells up quite frighteninly. I need a least one new pair of pants to wear as nothing fits. I need new comfortable shoes to wear out and about. I need to do a lot of shopping in other words but after yesterdays activities my ankle is quite sore so other than haircut am staying at home today catching up on computer work.

We are off the the Hunter this Friday for our yearly visit with friends. We will be home on Monday. I am looking forward to going and catching up with everyone but I feel so blaah at the moment I wish I didnt have to go. But as blaah happens no matter where I am I mos well be with good company.

Next week is endoscopy and colonoscopy time. Can anything else go wrong with this poor old body. No really I am fine - heaps of people worse off than me.

I have read a few blogs - googlereader tells me I have over 160 unread ones and that is not including Anne. This may take a while.

Jess gave me a lesson in facebook last night. Lots of yelling involved. I really think that I am too old for this but I will keep trying.

Have a good week - off to get ready for hairdresser - hope it lifts me!

I'm still here, sort of...

2009-06-26T17:18:00.002+10:00

I am still here. On the mend extremely slowly. Still not driving, well only once but soon to increase. I am so freaking sick of relying on other people to get me places. That sounds really ungrateful and I'm not - just used to independence.

Still wearing the aircast, especially when I am outside but luckily not to bed anymore so sleeping is returning to normal after nearly 6 weeks of very little sleep.

I've been back to Queensland again with Jess to help clear out Mum's house. We drove there over 2 days, had 2 days of solid work, and 2 days home. It was a big wake up call and I am really going to try and get rid of stuff I no longer use. Who knows I may open an e-bay account. I know my children will certainly not want even a quarter of all the stuff I have amassed. AND it is only STUFf!

I am back at work full time as of this week. Glad to be back but am exhausted. Sooooo glad it is Friday.

My final visit with surgeon just over 2 weeks ago scared the s**t out of me. The operation went well but it will take me 12 months to recover and for the bone to grow around the space invader that now lives where my ankle joint used to be. The wound is not healing which is a worry and the rheumatologist took me off my arthritis medication this week because it might be the cause of the slow healing. Hopefully I can start physio in a couple of weeks. I walk like a penguin.

Havent been to pilates, yoga or the gym in two months.

I havent been visiting blogs and I dread to think what my google reader account looks like. Probably about to explode. Holidays are only two weeks away and I will definitely devote a lot of time to dear blends (as Zanna calls them).

Oh new King lounge arrived two weeks ago. It is so comfortable and there is always a fight for the prime spot. Because of all the rain, the new bathroom is still a month away. Should be nice and cold by then. Mark wont let me organise any other projects till this is done and it is going so slowly it is driving me loopy.

I saw the other night that Costco is opening in Australia soon (Melbourne somewhere). I have read about this store on US blogs. Looks very interesting but I fear it will be like Aldi and Bunnings to me - it is too hard to find things so I dont bother.

OK, dragging my crippled self back into my warm cave where I will hibernate for a bit longer. This whinge is officially finished now.

Love to you special people and thanks for the emails.

I am my best person...

2009-06-06T11:51:00.006+10:00

This week I was lucky enough to catch up with the second appearance of Elizabeth Gilbert on Oprah. She has moved back to the United States with Phillipe and lives in New Jersey now and is working on her new book about marriage.

I am sure everyone knows that she is the author of that wonderful book Eat Pray Love about the journey she took after several failed relationships. This book still sits in my bedside table and although I havent read it for a while the fact that it is there to be picked up when needed is comforting.

She said on the show the following:
"I am my best person when I have less on my plate"

This struck home with me - I am sure I am a much nicer person when I am not so busy/frantic etc. When I can take the time to meditate (and I am not good at it as I have a grasshopper mind), to stop and reflect, to let things go, to not worry over things I cannot change.

I am so looking forward to the movie of Eat Love and Pray that will star Julia Roberts as Elizabeth. I think it is down for release next year, I can only hope.

There is a Borders bookclub interview at here.

On a different topic but still related somehow, the decluttering is progressing slowly and the opening up of space in the house is quite liberating. Still a lot to do but I am moving forward at last, a direction for which I am so grateful.

Moving on

2009-05-27T16:28:00.002+10:00

Life is slowly returning to normal.

Went back to work yesterday and was totally exhausted by the time I got home. Jess took me as I still cant drive and she brought me home, went to the pet shop for me, bought me Milo (secret weapon in fight against no sleep) and finally took me to the doctors. Luckily Mark out at a work dinner which I had opted out of so it was a quick dinner of leftovers and then to bed. Took half a sleeping tablet and for a change had a okay nights sleep. Dont remember him coming home although apparently I had a conversation with him.

I am working two days a week for the next three weeks and then I think I will have to go back to Queensland to sort out Mum's house. Trying to co-ordinate 4 other busy women so that we can all do it together is giving me a headache. This afternoon Mark, being her executor, has gone to the solicitors, who luckily are on the central coast. I think this is going to be a lengthy procedure. I am off to memorial park next Wednesday to pick out her final resting place for when we bring her back to NSW. Put her death notice into the Sydney papers. My little brain is starting to explode. It hasnt had to think this much in 4 weeks.

My job is to keep the peace between sisters and a slightly aggressive niece who told me last night (hopefully jokingly) that I was no longer her favourite aunt because I was too nice! Niggling is starting already. God give me strength.