Monday, October 27, 2008

You Can Tell.....

You can tell that I am back at work again due to the lack of posts and comments.

This last term of the year is always busy as some person (read moron) decided that the financial year for schools should end on 30 November. Now it is hectic for me and I dont have students preparing for exams, end of year festivities etc etc. I just have teachers who have forgotten that they were supposed to do fieldwork activities ringing up begging a day but what can I do - we are just about booked out or should I say booked. Every year it is the same thing, book early I tell them but no. Oh well maybe one day the planets will align and everything will slot into place.

Weight is stable at too much. Wedding is two weeks away so it doesnt look like I will reach my goal started all those months ago.

Weather is back to broiling again. But I dont mind after all it is spring/summer.

So I will apologise for my slackness yet again.

Folk art and yoga and pilates and Princess Lucy take up so much time not to mention work.

Off I go once again as the tribe is descending on the house tonight for their weekly baked dinner. They never miss it if they are in town and our week wouldnt be the same without them especially now that they have all flown the coop.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Waffling

Was I waffling on the other day about it being Spring.

Then it serves me right!

It's bloody freezing today.

It's snowing up in the Blue Mountains.

It is pouring rain and blowing a gale.

The people across the road have lit their fire again.

I have to go out in it again to yoga!

I will sleep well tonight.

They have promised back to hot by the weekend although I could do with a wet Sunday. Still havent done my tax stuff for the accountant.

Should get a phone call any day now.

Waffling again - I'm off.

Saturday, October 18, 2008

Black and Blue

I have noticed this week that I have a few large bruises on the left side of my body - legs and arms.

This morning when I was straightening my hair I saw more enormous bruises on my arm and innocently asked The Husband if he had taken to beating me when I was asleep.

The look I got was priceless - didnt I remember falling over in the hallway last Sunday night (see previous post for that day), then getting angry with him for no reason and he just threw his hands up in the air and let me go my merry (or not merry) way.

Oh I was bad - I dont remember at all.

Mind you I only have his word for this event happening and even though he is so trustworthy I think my explanation sounds better and doesnt reflect badly on me so that is the one I am going with.

Have been dress shopping this morning for a wedding that is coming up - bought him 4 new business shirts and an attachment for the vacuum but no dress.

I hate dress shopping!

Friday, October 17, 2008

Sigh

I had some free time at work today so I typed out my post and emailed it home.

*Sigh*

At work I use Macs and I have been upgraded to Leopard 2008 (sounds cute doesnt it) but when I tried to open the doc here at home it comes through as hieroglyphics.

*Sigh*

Have to wait until Monday when I can convert it back to a usable old word document.

*Sigh*

Is it just me or are the computers of the world ganging up on us.

PS: Felt the "Christmas Shiver" today. It is pure pleasure and I dont know what brings it on - probably the weather or the colour of the sky or the green green trees, but I have felt this feeling since I was little. I feel like purring.

Monday, October 13, 2008

Trust Me

Trust me, it may have been alright on Saturday night but drinking a bottle of wine (probably more) on Sunday night was definitely not a good idea.

Walked (or should I say danced) home with The Husband holding on to me to make sure I didnt kill myself or run out into the traffic, in my socks, because I couldnt get my boots back on.

You would hope that I would be passed this phase by now but NOOOOOOO!

Very very very very unwell and turned into the bitch from hell (why dont I realise that alcohol makes me agressive).

I slept in the spare room as I was very very very cross.

All in all a hell of a night. Very little to eat today. Went back to bed after The Husband left for work and was late for said work. But I really think they were lucky I was there at all considering all I wanted to do was lie down and die.

I only went because there was supposed to be a group attending a 4 night course arriving and if I didnt turn up they would be milling around outside waiting for my workmates who get to sleep in. Nobody turned up. Convenor had thought he had told me that the course had been cancelled (maybe he told the other Julie from the other planet - the nice one).

And I looked like hell - still do. BUT I did go the gym after work and I have finally had something to eat.

I think I am still married although this morning I didnt get a goodbye kiss *sigh*.

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Day in the life

Yesterday started out all bright and shiny and full of hope.

Weighed myself "gasp", wrote it down and commenced Plan Z.

Turned up at gym late because The Husband had once again left his computer powerpack eons away at work and heaven forbid that his computer battery would die and he wouldnt be able to do his usual overload of work. I had to try and find a powerpack to buy or borrow which would fit his computer "thanks IBM for changing your powerpack jacks from normal to obscure - morons".

Missed breakfast with girls as they were all hurrying off to do important things like go to weddings and have meetings with accountants (which reminds me I must do somethiing about our tax).

Gym girl wouldnt give me my pilates pass because I was 5 minutes too early (good grief) so sat and had a calming cup of green tea and waited.

Got pass. Went into pilates class - Deb didnt turn up - sick apparently. This lovely old lady who talked like her teeth were missing did however but couldnt teach pilates so we were going to do yoga. Now I love yoga, I do it everyday and go to classes on Wednesdays but, dammit, I wanted to do pilates but my father brought me up the right way so I just smiled and got on with it and hated every single second of it. What a waste of an hour when I could have been secret shopping instead.

Went to the postoffice 30 minutes before it closed and the queue went out the door. I went to stand in the line and somehow managed to queue jump in front of a policeman. This little plaintiff voice said behind me "but I was in the queue". Stupid cute policeman, as I walked up he stepped back and I thought he was just getting out of my way. We swopped spots and 1o minutes later he gave up and told me I could have his spot afterall. When I eventually left there he was at the back of the queue again. Maybe I scared him or reminded him of his mother.

After shopping came home, had lunch, a nice healthy prawn salad and then laid down for a rest. I have to stop doing this as I am back at work on Monday and I dont think the boss will be impressed finding me having a nanna nap after lunch.

House didnt get cleaned but as I have said before I dont think anybody has ever died of dust and it looks tidy although my sister visited the other day and said that it didnt look like my decluttering was working. Sometimes sisters can be too honest. (Warning: dont try being honest with them)

The phone rang next to napping husband (hard day at the golf course) and we missed the call. So did last caller thing and it was a friend of his so I called the number and put the phone against his ear - a sure way to wake him up. Did we want to go to their place for dinner? There goes my well laid plans *sigh*.

Dinner was lovely, I only had olives pre dinner and white wine of course even though the large cheese platter was calling to me (funny how cheese knows my name). More wine with dinner and water and more wine and of course dessert and coffee. The wife who luckily happens to be a good friend of mine too drank copious quantities of red wine and I had a lovely time ragging her about her spoonerisms. It is usually me that starts speaking a strange archaic dialect. All in all I drank a bottle of white wine all by myself (do I sound proud - children dont try this at home) which I probably shouldnt have but it was fun and I didnt feel at all sick when i went to bed (translation - bed did not start spinning madly out of control).

The Daughter left today on road trip with boyfriend for two weeks to South Australia with instructions to play nice and bring him back. I think he is being really brave - she is a feisty firey redhead who likes her own way - you'd all love her after you got over the initial thing of wanting to strangle her.

Am now off into the garden and am going to ignore the calls of the bathroom to clean it. It is too nice a day to be inside anymore. See ya!

Thursday, October 09, 2008

Shoes Glorious Shoes

I went shoe shopping today. I needed a pair of navy blue flat shoes for work. I might as well have been asking for the moon.

My trusty comfy navy blue flat shoes I wear to work have developed a squeak. I dont think it is me. Im pretty sure it is the shoes.

The only navy blue flat shoes I could find would have looked great if I was 120 years old but not on a bit overweight hip 55 year old. Hip not hippy though the second also applies at the moment.

I got to look at all the gorgeous shoes that you wear in your 20s and 30s and sighed and moved on. Ended up buying a pair of flat tan pointy toed shoes. They are comfortable, look reasonable modern and I figure that they will sort of go with my uniform.

Next time I see a pair of suitable navy blue shoes I am going to buy two pairs!

I will dream tonight of gorgeous high heeled sandals in the latest styles and be content.

Tuesday, October 07, 2008

Problems problems

So sorry dear friends I have been remiss but I have once again been fighting the demons or kilos. For some reason I have begun stacking on the weight again. I know I am having trouble with exercise but I dont think I have been eating too badly for the last month but instead of losing weight it is still creeping up.

I am at my wits end as nothing fits me anymore and I look lumpy. It would be quite easy to ignore, move up a clothes size or two but I really dont want to. I got through winter unscathed and cant believe that I am putting weight on in spring. Not the way it is supposed to happen.

Friday, August 29, 2008

Today’s the day

I have 10 weeks to get myself back in shape for a wedding. That’s the goal anyway.

I don’t want to diet anymore. I don’t want there to be anything that I cant have. In moderation. I want to reprogram my brain and body to eat slowly and eat in moderation (that word again) rather than vacuuming any and all food up throughout the day.

I am doing this with a friend except I think she is dieting.

I am going to try to exercise each day (baby steps but I will get there). DD is coming to the gym with me today and helping me on the exercise bike – not the one that everyone rides but the one that looks like a real bike – I don’t know what it is called but for some reason it scares me. So she is going to help me get past this fear or laugh herself silly at my attempts. Also aiming for 10,000 steps per day.

Drink more water. Of late have not been drinking water. Have been eating instead so will use this as a deterrent to eating. Will try to drink 2 litres a day but not to have any after maybe 4 as I will be up all night wearing a track between bed and bathroom.

Eat food that I know is good for me. I know what it is – I have been doing this for centuries. Except in my mind I think this food is not fun. Sausage rolls, chiko roll, hot chips, any carbs, wine etc = fun. Have to change this mindset. Don’t know how to do this as yet but am going to try.

Okay weighed in this morning and got a bit of a shock. I knew my work clothes were getting tighter but didn’t quite realise how much I had put on. I actually think I was in denial.

I am going to try to lose 1kg a week. That might put me into the ballpark of the weight I want to be especially for summer. It means I will have to refocus on me for a while.

DS is finally making moves to move out of home. I love him dearly but he is driving me mad. Cant seem to have normal conversations with him – it is all centred on him: his job, his girlfriend, his moods, his friends, the fact that he doesn’t earn enough money etc etc. It just goes on and on. He has kind of overstayed his welcome and I gravitate between really enjoying his company to hiding from him which is hard to do as our house is not that big.

DH has gone away for a weekend with the guys to play golf up the coast. Believe it or not he actually took his computer with him. I hope he relaxes and enjoys himself. He really needs a break.

Have nearly decluttered/cleaned out my study and it is wonderful. Still have a bit to do but ran out of bin room in both the rubbish bin and the recycling bin. Cupboards and drawers seem to be my weakness although once they get full I do branch out. I think the key to decluttering for dyed-in-the-heart hoarders is to do it more than once, maybe every month. It is way too hard to get rid of everything in one go but if you do one big clean out (the first) and then say every month a minor one it might work out easier. Had to laugh though, DD went through my Lifeline box and took heaps of stuff home. Her partner was probably not too impressed.

So a quiet weekend ahead. Just Lucy the Wonderdog and me unless DS hangs around. Hope I don’t have to do too much cooking.

Take care and wish me luck this week.

Sunday, August 24, 2008

Declutterbug

Well it is still cold here but I have the spring cleaning bug. Not really spring cleaning because, well, it's still too cold to be out washing windows and blinds etc. but I have started decluttering. This is going to take a while with the culmination here in my study which is progressively getting harder and harder to get into.

This Friday coming is the start of my 10 week plan to get back into some sort of shape for a friends sons wedding. No set plan about how I am going to do this. Maybe drink more water, wear my pedometer and aim for 10,000 steps a day and eat less rubbish. Should do it.

There is so much to do - crosswords to finish, ironing to finish, plants to water, clothes to put away, bathrooms to clean, books to read, knitting to start, folk art project to finish and I am sitting here typing my blog.

I had better get back to decluttering - family room and lounge/dining room almost done. Only came in here to shred some papers. I just cant be trusted.

Have a great week. I am getting back in the swing of reading blogs again so you will hear from me soon.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

I'M WALKING ON SUNSHINE

I'm walking on sunshine (whoa oh)
I'm walking on sunshine (whoa oh)
I'm walking on sunshine (whoa oh)
And don't it feel good (HEY!) Alright now
And don't it feel good (HEY!) Alright now
All right now yeah! (HEY!)

I am feeling better inside myself. My “positivity” has returned. Who would have thought that a medication that was supposed to be helping my RA would have such a detrimental effect on my mind and thank goodness, in a way, that the doctor increased the dose and I got so sick and had to stop taking it otherwise I might never have known the cause of the problem. I am back to seeing the good side in everything and am so thankful although I know that this attitude irritates some people enormously (my mother in particular).

Have not been watching what I eat and as a result have put on a number of kilos yet again. Well actually I have been watching, I look at it all just before I put it in my mouth. Have cut back on alcohol quite a bit (none during the week unless it is a special occasion) for no other reason than I don’t think it agrees with the medication I am still taking. Not much exercise as cant really walk but still keeping up the yoga and pilates with a bit of stationery bike riding and some upper body weights.

Am attending the son of a friends wedding in November so I have set the start date for getting back on the wagon as Friday, 29th August 2008. That gives me 10 weeks to lose however many kilos I am up to by then.

Thank you Molly for your kind advice. I will ask my doctor about that medication, it sounds so promising but I might not meet the criteria to get it on the PBS and therefore the cost is prohibitive. But it doesn’t hurt to ask.

Congratulations Zanna on joining the gym not that I think you need it. You are looking wonderful and are as usual a great inspiration to us all.

I am behind in my google reader reading (try to say that fast) but I promise I will get there and get up-to-date with everyone’s posts. That was part of my sickness I think – I was reading posts but felt I didn’t have anything to say. Well that has gone now so watch out.

And speaking of looking at my google reader, I cant help but notice the number of people who don’t blog anymore: Margaret, Catherine, Chris, Mary, Phillipa, Michelle, Linda, Jodie Sue etc etc. I do miss reading your news and hope that if you are at least still reading that all is going well in your lives.

Am off this weekend to see Cirque du Soleil’s latest show, Dralion. DS is supposed to be coming with me but he may get a better offer. Somehow I don’t think he will get away with that. His father may kill him or at least give him a severe talking too.

DDs partner has been retrenched and she is so worried about their financial position. He is going for an interview this Friday so everybody keep everything crossed. I have told her that I will help out with expenses if they need it.

DS is finally having his shoulder surgery in September. We are paying for that as well or at least the part not covered by his medical fund.

I love my two immensely, but someone tell me, do they ever truly become independent? Probably my fault but sometimes it becomes exhausting.

My renovations may be moving into the next stage soon rather than the just dreaming and talking about it. DH arranged for the builder to visit this week for preliminary talks. I will believe it when it happens though. It must be getting closer.

It is still cold here (the coldest winter we have had in quite a number of years I think) but the jasmine is out and I can feel spring in the air. I feel a bit like Moley in Wind in the Willows .

Hope my dear ones that you are all okay…….talk soon.

Sunday, July 20, 2008

One hell of a year thus far

Well here I am again. It has been one hell of a year healthwise. I can remember feeling pretty good in January/February and then it all went pearshaped.

Have spent the last two weeks on holidays and sick. It culminated with me getting out of the car last Friday and suddenly finding the world shifting focus and becoming very light headed. Soldiered on as I know we all do but when I got up the next morning I was lucky to make it out of the shower. Rang doctor and got an appointment and since I couldnt really drive thought I would try walking. As I waited to leave I got progressively worse and then a miracle occurred - my beautiful telepathetic daughter rang home from softball, realised how sick I was, drove straight home, made me some toast, took me to doctors, went and got prescription and then took me home and tucked me into bed. Spent another day in bed and today I have been a bit better.

What did the GP put it down to - rheumotologist had increased RA medication yet again and I had a severe reaction. Looked it up when we got home and yep, I had all the symptons - dizziness, nausea, fatigue, gastro and guess what, it also can cause depression. F*** a duck, I'd rather have the RA which really, when I think about it, just keeps chugging along medication or not.

Am supposed to be going to a conference tomorrow but will have to wait and see how I feel in the morning. Of course I stopped taking the salazopyrin and the GP suggested I start again on Monday when I have flushed it out of my system. I dont think so. So here we go again - another battle with the rheumatologist about medication. This would be the third medication I have had a bad reaction to.

I must be starting to feel better because I am starting to get feisty or else it is just old age.

Anyway, since I am also anaemic and my haemoglobin count is down (excuse spelling), my ankle at times resembles an elephants ankle and I have virtually done no exercise for a long long time to speak of I have decided that I am not going to worry about my diet anymore. That doesnt mean that I am going to go completely off the rails but I am not going to become anal about it anymore. Good food in hopefully the right quantities. Drastically reduce alcohol consumption due to the fact that it reacts with medication quite badly.

But I am not going to make any promises either about anything. It is all too hard and I am sick and tired of feeling sick and tired. I am going to try and take care of myself by eating good food and when the pain subsides a bit, exercise gently.

So ends this latest........ I was going to put whinge but I dont think that is the right word.

Tuesday, July 08, 2008

Tough times

I cant remember how long ago, well over a month, I crashed and burned.
Ended up at doctors in the middle of the morning on a work day crying.
She prescribed tablets and sent me to a physcologist.
Am feeling better now but still not 100%.
Hurt my back at pilates last Saturday (first day holidays) and have spent the weekend not doing much and taking painkillers.

Have read a few posts but not commented. At the moment, I have nothing to say. Am trying to get my life back on track.

The RA is still not responding to treatment and I dont think it ever will.

We are going away to the Hunter Valley this weekend.

I have disabled comments. Dont want you to feel sorry for me just wanted you to know I was still alive.

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Didnt see it coming......

Have been travelling okay this week. Still cant walk very well and Lucy (my little keg on legs) is suffering although Mark takes her for runs on the week end if he has time.

Except for yesterday – Really don’t know what happened. Started eating and just couldn’t stop. Ate so much all day that by 5 pm was feeling ill. Even tossed up about not going to yoga and just going to bed but knew it would do me good (and it did). Don’t know where the brain snap came from – was I cold, bored, in pain – I don’t know and it is driving me mad. Probably undid the good I have done all week in that one long binge.

Anyway have hopefully moved on and today will be better although rugby semi-final on Saturday night could be another hiccup.

Have been preparing myself for winter. Bought a new navy wool coat/jacket to wear to work (navy and stone/beige are the colours). Really toasty warm. This week I am looking for gloves to wear to work (I have my fingerless gloves to wear at work so that I can still type).

Also I have bought a new work bag. I found I was carrying lots of bags so I have consolidated. Saw an article in Notebook magazine this month for Spencer and Rutherford bags and check them out on the internet and ordered a business bag. It arrived this week and is absolutely gorgeous. It has been made from the most beautiful materials, very lush looking and makes me smile everytime I look at it because of its sheer gorgeousness. It is called Eleanor (tranquillity). It will fit my laptop too if I feel inclined to lug it around.
http://www.spencerandrutherford.com/store/eleanor-tranquility-p99029.html (here is hopefully a link to it).

Postscript: Well rugby semi-final was okay. Tahs won and so it is onwards and upwards to play the Crusaders this weekend in NZ. Didnt eat or drink too much but spent much of the weekend lying down and when we had to go out on Saturday night I dosed up on painkillers. Spent most of Sunday on the lounge which I think didnt hurt me. I dont think anybody has died of a messy house.

GP has prescribed some tablets to help me get through this rough period which I think are helping although I didnt really want to go down that road. Also have a referral to a psycologist (?) to talk about getting some coping skills but cant seem to link up with her. I am feeling better within myself (my mind is calmer) although still aching which is to be expected. My GP says to feel this way when you have a chronic illness is to be expected but I still dont like the sadness.

Am just going to try and keep my weight level at the moment without worrying too much about diet. Too many things to think of at once and I am really craving cheese. Go figure.

Friday, May 16, 2008

My week

Last week was not a great week. Jess was asked to read a story at the end of the funeral service and I was never so proud of her as I was that day. She spoke clearly and strongly, something I couldnt have done if I had been in her shoes and she has shown an inner strength although she is still grieving. The family released 19 butterflies and 19 balloons after Jess had finished - one for every year of Ash's life. It was very moving.

Food has not been great lately. Actually I have been eating everything and anything. Ankles so swollen that I cant exercise at all - can hardly walk. Self inflicted I am afraid - too much alcohol at girlfriends 60th and thought I was young again and danced all night. I have been such a sad little old lady this week. Thinking about going to have a chinese massage to see if that will help reduce the pain.

Rheumatologist has taken me off methotrexate for the time being and put me on something else. I just learn the name of one drug and he changes it on me. I had too many side effects for no gain was the reason for the change.

Anyway, have drawn a line in the sand (figuratively speaking). Have tried to eat sensibly today and have a big pot of vegetable soup on the stove bubbling away for those moments when I have to eat something. Hopefully I will make wise choices this week.

Apparently going to be very cold on Sunday here - a taste of winter. So am planning a quiet day with sleep-in and book reading as well as the usual ironing and cleaning. Just no outside stuff. Although if the weather forecast is wrong I will try to be out in the garden and a trip to the nursery is on the cards. Can't be bothered with annuals anymore, so will buy some bushy plants (maybe small lavendars) to plant among the roses and fill up the gaps.

Mum is in hospital in Brisbane. She has been there on and off for over a week because she was having trouble breathing. They have found that she has asthma, a lung cancer the size of a 50 cent piece which they have removed and is also suffering from MDS, a blood disorder. My eldest sister says she is in quite good spirits and has been enjoying her stay in hospital for the company and meals.

Friday night here and I am going to have a glass of low alcohol wine - the Lindemans Early Harvest semillion sauvignon blanc, when Mark gets home. Quite nice really. Off to make another recipe from the "Core Plan" cook book and then an early night. I cant seem to get over the tiredness and except for having to go the bathroom many times during the night am sleeping like the proverbial log. I wish the bathroom stuff would stop - the trials of growing old!

Have a great weekend......

Wednesday, May 07, 2008

Coping or not coping

I have tried to check emails and blogs but just cant. We are not functioning well at the moment.

My daughters best friend/little sister was killed on Monday night in a motorcycle accident.

Jess met her in primary school when Jess was a buddy to the kindergarten students and they have been friends ever since. Like sisters in a lot of ways.

She is just coping with the grief and I am not doing much better. I remember Jess teaching her to dive in our pool. I remember so many things from the last 14 years.

I am so extremely sorry that a family has lost a daughter, especially at this time of year, just before mothers day.

Life is certainly crappy sometimes.

To a girl who's smile could light up a room - vale Ash.............

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

An Inspiring Lady

Went to gym today to hear Dianna Williams, cofounder of Fernwood gyms, speak about her new book about why Women should do weight training.

It was opportune timing for me

1. On holidays so I actually could attend a mid morning event
2. Have been concentrating on weights since cardio has become a problem for me

She was an inspiring person and her story should be read by everyone who doubts that they cant achieve anything because it is too hard. Her advice - take small steps and nothing is impossible - hard yes but not impossible.

Am slowly starting to feel better - still lots of aches and pains but I think that is to be expected. The strategy I had to sleep in is not working. Unfortunately the rest of the world is not sleeping in. I have rediscovered the joys of reading books and even though I do enjoy listening to audio books in the car and when I am watering the garden (not lately due to copious amounts of rain) reading a book tucked up on the lounge on a rainy windy day would have to be one of life's greatest treats.

I even went out and bought two more yesterday. The new Marion Keyes one and Cathy Kelly's new one. Chick books I know but I love light reading at the moment.

Ordered new frames for glasses yesterday. Jess came with me to ensure I got something trendy and not too god awful. It certainly brings you down to earth when trying glasses on your daughter vetoes your taste. But the ones she said looked good on me luckily were ones I also liked.

Gareth and his new girlfriend came for dinner last night and it is lovely to see him happy and relaxed again.

Having lunch with Jess again tomorrow and then lunch on Thursday with my sister. I think I am working these meals into my "core plan". I have been using the planner on the weightwatchers website and it is really good. I also bought a Core Plan Cookbook from weight watchers meeting and the recipes are really nice and everyone seems to like them to the extent that any leftovers disappear from the fridge as if my magic. This is something unusual because they dont usually like "diet" food.

Anyway I am off to do the ironing and watch last Sunday's "Brothers and Sisters". Being on holidays makes me very disorganised and the ironing is threatening to take over the family room because I keep thinking there is always tomorrow.

I can see blue skies out the study window. Here's hoping that the rain eases enough for me to get some washing dried and finish the hedge clipping that I started last week. Hedges look like deranged poodles at the moment as they are only half done.

Enjoy your week

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Day Two Holiday break

Slept in until phone rang with unwelcome caller. A teacher from a local high school wanting keys to our kayaks. How did he get my home phone number and no I am not going to work or lend him keys. Honestly the hide of some people.

Work has started next door on subdividing their block of land and they are putting in the new pipes. Digging digging digging, ripping our trees apart and damaging the side fences. Feeling uptight and decidely unneighbourably. Jus breather deeply.

Today is cool/cold, windy and rainy. But the light is glorious. A soft calming autumn light not the sullen swollen light of winter. Even though there is no sun it is bright.

I have self medicated this morning. Pain has been fairly bad lately and am having trouble walking. Rummaged in the cupboard and found Gareth's panadeine fortes and took one. I know I shouldnt have used someone else medication and I know I will have to take something later to counteract the codeine but I dont care. I can feel the edge has been taken off the pain already. I need to go to mall today to get more meds so I really needed to be mobile.

Todays other job, when I get back home is to sort out my study yet again and maybe do a little painting. Might even set up a table in the family room so I can paint while catching up on all the shows I have recorded over the past few weeks.

Am slowly catching up with everyone through google reader . Still over 90 posts to go but I am getting there.

I hope everyone is travelling well this week....

Wednesday, April 09, 2008

It's been a long time

I'm home sick today hence I have time to do this. Tucked up in bed, wireless. Bit uncomfortable as puppy wont move.

What has been happening? Have been having weekly injections and taking lots of meds for RA but it seems to be getting worse plus am having to put up with side effects like mouth ulcers and incredible tiredness. Last Sunday week, while hurrying for train, somehow hurt my left foot/ankle so have been unable to do any exercise because of the pain. Dont think I broke anything, maybe just a bad strain. Went to doctors and she has sent me to a podiatrist (?) because "he knows more about feet than me"!!!!!! Anyway I see him this Thursday so we will see.

No exercise and eating like there is no tomorrow. I know I shouldnt, I know it wont make me feel better, actually makes me feel worse, but I cant seem to stop myself. How lame is that?

I want to turn all this around but dont know how to start yet again. Need to shake things up. Feeling bored and despondent.

Anyway enough of depressing stuff. Autumn is here and the nights are cooler and there is that something in the air that lifts my spirit. I dont know what it is but I know I need to get out there more and inhale it. You know, the dampness, the smell of woodsmoke, the autumn leaves, the damp soil, the light - quite my favourite time of year.

I have been making a series of lists to try and help me get back on track but I really have to stop doing this. They just set me up for failure as there is no way I can keep them up. What did John Lennon sing "Life is what happens while you're busy making other plans". Note fromthe No. 1 list maker - THEY DON'T WORK!

Anyway I am off to read blogs for a while to catch up on those who have kept blogging. The list gets smaller and smaller.

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Resting

X-ray guided injections of cortisone went okay today. Jess was able to drive and I took a sick day off work. Had lots of injections starting with anesthetics and they hurt like hell but a bit like childbirth, once they were finished the pain diminished quickly. At one stage I was crying my eyes out and heard the "work experience" doctor suggest that perhaps a bigger or longer needle would work better. I actually told him to hush!

Caught up with a few blogs today - am down to 130 to be read. Cant comment because of time constraints but rest assured I am keeping up with you.

Stormy and rainy and hot tonight in Sydney. Off to bed.

Weight has not been good but could be the medication. No who am I kidding its the food and alcohol from the theatre/rugby weekend, the anniversary weekend and should continue with the friends moving back to Queensland weekend this weekend. After that it might settle down a bit. Here is hoping.

Enjoy your week everyone