Overwhelmed

I have been very quiet lately.

Feeling a trifle overwhelmed lately.

Hit the floor running at work 3 weeks ago and have barely had time to draw breath.

Also struggling with the normal: housework, meals, washing, ironing and of course the perennial favourite - weight.

By Friday am exhausted.

Sometimes wonder how I did it all and coped with the kids extra curricular activities but I guess the answer is I was younger and probably had better energy levels.

Tomorrow we are going to see Love Never Dies and then out to dinner.

The weekend after we are in Kiama for four days.

Really looking forward to it all but I am dragging my feet.

Anyway off to bed in a minute. Have to play Words with Friends because apparently I haven't played it for 3 days (SMSs starting to arrive) but will do that in bed.

Good night and have a wonderful weekend.

xxx

Here we go again

I am having trouble with blogger. I thought about starting another blog and now cant get rid of it. I have gone into settings and deleted it but it is still there. Hovering in the background like a no longer welcome guest at a party. Damnation why am I so challenged.

Tired today. Sydney weather is the pits at this time of year. Hot and humid. Everything is an effort and sleep is nearly impossible. I want M to put in ceiling fans in the bedrooms but he is resisting saying they keep him awake. Comes down in the end to - does he want a cranky tired wife or would he prefer sleep. His choice.

J swam in a harbour swim on Australia Day. 2.2 kms in choppy water. Did it in 35 mins. Her first open water swim in a long time. She is now all enthused and is doing the Cole classic this Sunday and another one in March. She is also booking to do the Kokoda Trail in June/July. Boundless energy.

Now some housekeeping - Linda I will get to your tag. I dont mind doing them but have trouble responding to them but I will try.
Anne I cant seem to get into your blog again. Maybe I have forgotten something. Entirely possible. Will check my emails to see if there is something in there to jog my memory. Faintly remember something.

Had trouble with my knee again in Queensland. I actually think it was because I hadnt been wearing my orthotics as I was in thongs a lot. Became so painful that I couldnt lie on my side with my knee resting on the bed. The only position that was painfree was on my back and that of course let to snoring. Fun times had by all. Dr put me on prednisone as she thought it was an inflamed tendon. Between that and the orthotics fixed itself really quickly. I had put off going to the drs for a couple of weeks as I thought I might end up in hospital again and I dont want to do that. Silly I know, the damage I was doing could have led to greater problems. Still get twinges now and then but generally okay.

Tried to go swimming yesterday. I dont remember if I swam overarm last year after my back operation but the pain that occurred after swimming half the length of our home pool was horrible. I think M thought he was going to have to rescue me. Breaststroke was okay.

Am going back to yoga tomorrow night after fourteen months or more off. Am going to take it very very slowly and not push myself and see if I can last the term this time.

Weight is blah. Goes up and down like a yoyo. Am trying to track using Weight Watchers but it is so disheartening. I am in minus points this week but that is to be expected if you saw the photo of my brunch on Australia Day on Facebook. Even the days that I think I am doing well are not great when I total up the points.

Weight Watchers weigh in is tomorrow morning. I have been weighing myself everyday and recording on an iPhone app I think is called Weightbot. That is a big wake up call. It tells me that for my height etc I am overweight. Nifty little graph which bears the bad news every single day. LOL. Maybe the wake up I need. Don't want but need.

Enough rambling have a great week. back to work I go
xxx

Things I Know

Linking up with Linda today and trying to insert an actual link for things I know.

I know that I am blessed with my life although I bitch and moan about weight, health etc. I have a great family, both immediate and extended, good friends and of course my gorgeous little dog. (What kind of post would I do without at least one mention of her.)

I know that I live in the best country in the world.

I know that decisions that I make this year will just be for me and no one else.

I know I want to be more mobile and that means other things have to go for a while. Not for ever, just for a while.

I know that I have to eat slower - meal times are not a race (which by the way I always seem to win).

I know that my two words for this year, courtesy of Nadine (and I can't find that link), will be - BE POSITIVE.

I know that I am going to take steps to stop procrastinating about things and get out there and do things.

I know that with your help I will be focussed and if I'm not, its nobody's fault - least of all mine but I am, as sure as hell, going to try to remain focussed and upbeat.

Happy New Year and may 2012 be everything that you want/need it to be.

xxx

A glass half empty

We had a wonderful Christmas and a lovely new year, all the food is just about gone, mainly to my hips and middle.

Now as the day of reckoning is fast approaching I have to face the fact that my weight is still inching up - most of my clothes don't fit me and I am not good at tracking or saying no. Not helping is the fact that my left knee gave out on me a couple of days ago and I couldn't even stand up. Liberal application of ice and painkillers has helped and I am trying to rest it. I don't remember hurting it but hurt it I have.

I am definitely in a glass half empty frame of mind. Social occasions coming up are being viewed as another opportunity to fail due to not being able to say no. My prob I know. It is a mindset that I have to get around somehow.

J has separated from her boyfriend* of 6 years. They are taking a break. If it goes further it will be messy and difficult to untangle their lives. They are both dreadfully upset. Just sitting tight and waiting to see what is going to happen. He has become part of our lives and we are quite fond of him. Sigh.

Even though I am on holidays I have to go and do a first aid refresher course this week. If I leave it until I am back at work my certificate will have expired and I will have to do the whole thing again rather than the refresher. I will take a day in lieu in February when we go to Kiama for the rugby 7s rather than use my long service leave.

Summer has finally arrived in Sydney. Gorgeous days, hot, bright blue skies and still not too hot and humid at night.

A funny thing happened the other day at a friends place where we were having dinner. I went to stand up and the pain that shot up from my left knee was unbelievable. I actually couldn't support my self - friends swung into action with ice packs etc and after a while the pain was bearable. I don't recall hurting it, it could be the extra weight I am carrying at the moment. It had been niggling for a couple of days when I was walking - it hurts when I start but goes away after a while. I know I should go to the doctors but every time I go something bad happens so I will rest it a bit and see what happens. Perhaps try some swimming as a non weight bearing activity.

I bought some new Nike sneakers after Christmas. I bought them from US. Even with postage they were cheaper than the ones I bought here. I ordered them on 27 December and they arrived on 30 December. I was amazed.

I have to downsize my spending this year. I am calling it my practice year for retirement but I am not all that sure I am going to retire in 2013. I change my mind every week.

I hope 2012 is a wonderful year for everybody.

xxx

*I usually call them partners because I feel that boyfriend/girlfriend doesn't cover it but a couple of times lately people have picked me up on it saying partner is not correct. Whatever.......who cares!

It's Backkkkkkkk

Was it Jack Nicholson in the Shining. Wish I could type it with the right inflection.

That 1.6kg I lost last week is back. I am so over everything at the moment. I was hoping to be in the 60s before Christmas - looking doubtful.

Last week:
Virtually no tracking
3 Lucy walks and 1 gym session
Alcohol - best we not dwell on that one

It spite of all of the above I can fit into my work pants but they produce such a muffin top that I could get a job at Muffin Break. Tried them on this morning and quickly took them off again before anybody saw me and back on with my rolltop yoga pants.

Am trying to write down what I eat today without entering into computer. Hopefully at the end of the day I can enter it and see what happened. I think that if I don't enter everything straight away I cant see how badly I may be doing and then I stop tracking. Does that make any sort of sense. It sounded okay in my head when I was thinking about it this morning.

I also have been thinking about Obsessions for want of a better word. I really want to travel but I love my home so much and I think that is the problem. I am one of those compulsive people who likes everything in its place and when you are travelling nothing is in its "right place" and it drives me crazy. Plus leaving Lucy is heartwrenching for me. I always enjoy myself when we are away doing whatever but am really really glad to get back home again. Renovating also drives me mad because once again everything is not in its right place. I guess I have developed a series of coping mechanisms over the years so that I dont seem like a complete looney. Spur of the moment plans are not great with me either but I try.

Moving right along to things I love
The smell of books - new or old doesnt matter
My hair straightner - it allows me to have longer hair because it used to be short so that I could keep the curl/wave out of it - now I just straighten it everyday and although I know it is just in my mind, I feel better with myself.
A new notebook - I love opening a brandnew diary or notebook - it is a new beginning.
New purses, shoes, handbags, lipsticks and watches - Trying very hard to curb the wants for these things.
Smells - bread baking, fresh coffee, the smell of the earth after the first shower of rain, lawn when it has just been mowed, gardenias which are now all coming into flower, the red rose in my front garden, so many things to mention - this list just goes on and on.
Did I mention my hair straightener.
Oh, nearly forgot - Lucy the wonderdog. The "no strings love" she gives is priceless and such a wonderful stress release to have this small bundle of fur launch herself at you when you walk in the door. You'd think you had been gone for days by the welcome you get.

J's 27th birthday today. It has all gone so quickly. She is a beautiful, strong and talented woman. I am so proud of her and what she has achieved. That said, there are still times I could happily strangle her but she is my bestie and my baby.

On the first day of the school holidays (end of work now only 2 weeks away before 5 weeks break) we are having a day together at the zoo to see the baby tigers and all the other babies that have been born. Hope the weather is good. Going to Forsyth's in Naremburn for coffee first. Will have to arrange another day in the city shopping with lunch at DJs and definitely a visit to Zaras.

G has moved in with his girlfriend and everything seems to be okay. She is a lovely sweet generous person but this is their second attempt at going out. Maybe this time, now that they both are a bit older, it will work out. He is happy and that is very important.

I am aiming for more exercise this week - I have increased gym session to twice a week and mixing it up a bit with cardio and weights. I have got to tone up a bit. The overlaps are not attractive. Did I mention that this is one of the things I hate about getting older. I aim to walk Lucy at between 5 and 7 times depending on weather.

M is pottering along in retirement as usual. He has now agreed (well sort of) to do the vacuuming every week because it puts a strain on my back. Either that or the dyson has to go and we get a lighter vacuum cleaner. He is a much better vacuumer than me so it has been a win win situation. Two weeks in a row - am going for three - no use in overplanning and him thinking that I am taking him for granted/or advantage of which of course I am.

Oh well, back to work - 14 more sleeps and then holidays, then Christmas, then New Years then Queensland etc etc etc.

Thoughts all over the place....grasshopper mind strikes again

Let's get the business over and done with.

Lost 1.6 kgs this week BUT this is probably a false reading as I have had another tummy upset over the weekend (my third in 7 weeks).

Exercised with two Lucy walks and one gym session. Been appalling weather here last week but has returned to fine and sunny so we did start the week well this morning with another early morning walk before the heat and humidity kicked in.

Four no alcohol days.

The tummy upsets are limiting me a bit. Might be I am eating too much fruit but it is summer, or nearly, and the fruits are just amazing. Don't think it is anything more sinister unless M is trying to get rid of me.

Talking about M, because the weather was terrible on Saturday morning, raining and windy and therefore no golf, and because I was not feeling great he did all the vacuuming for me. He does such a great job. I wish he would do it every week. Maybe if I turn around three times and click my heels together this wish will come true. Here's hoping.

It was a nice weekend - dinner with old friends who seem to be forever travelling since they have all retired. The three of us worked (I still do) for the education department which was how I met them and we take turns arranging a dinner every four months with our other halves who luckily get on well together as we make them sit down one end so we can catch up. One of the other couples has just got back from South America and are off to Europe next March and I think the other couple is off to either Europe again or Canada next year too.

Went back to the podiatrist last week and he checked my feet again. I have decided that when my care plan runs out I will still keep going to him because he has made such a difference to the amount of pain my feet give me. He assures me that he sees worse feet than mine.

In between the nausea etc I was feeling on the weekend I managed to get some gardening done. Found three enormous and beautifully camoflagued grubs on my basil so hopefully that will stop the carnage that has been going on. I kept feeling ill so at one stage ended up lying on the back lawn watching the clouds go past in a perfectly beautiful sky. Something I dont think I have done since I was young.

I have moved my yoga mat from my car boot to the family room. It has lived in the boot for about a year (since before my last back op). I have bought some things to hopefully refocus me and I will let you know how they go and as I have said before when I work out how to put links in I will link to Nadine's blog so that you can see what I am talking about. That probably doesnt make sense but I am running out of time and must get back to work.

Kids and their partners coming for baked dinner tonight as usual.

Goal for this week is to aim towards preserving a healthier me. Thinking maybe a naturopath?
Carpet gone from bedroom completely along with all the nails and tacks that took him hours to get rid off. Makes such a difference and I think my breathing has improved greatly at night in bed. Sinuses not giving me as much of a problem. Lucy having trouble slipping and sliding a bit when she jumps up on and down from the bed (naughty spoilt much loved dog).

Planning started towards trip to Qld in January. Linda, will be in touch when I have firm dates to see if you are free.

Have a great week.

A year ago

This weekend was a bit of a disaster. It isnt called yo yo weight for nothing - back up 400g this week.

Goal update:

Managed 3 days with no alcohol (should have been four)

Four Lucy walks plus one gym session (Missed a walk)

No tracking after lunchtime on Friday until this morning (this has to stop)

Just looked back at my WW online and exactly a year ago I was 1.8kg lighter.

I returned to this time last year on my blog too.

My back was really giving me a lot of trouble.

A friend has just suicided. (There was actually a rememberance ceremony last Friday for her which I went to for a little while - still miss her)

I had to get to work early this morning to open up for one of the consultants who is running a staff development day here today. Up at 5.30 - walked Lucy - at work by 7.30 and boy am I tired. Here it is Monday morning at 9:45 am and I want to go and lie down for an hour or two and I cant stop yawning.

Carpet is coming up in the bedroom today I think. I don't know how M is going to do it by himself but I am glad I am not there to watch or hear it.

Update: 9:47 am and Carpet has gone. Yay!

He is also redesigning our built-in wardrobe and has been harping on about my shoes and how I possibly couldnt need all of them. He is right but it is something I am not ready to tackle yet so I have dug my heels in (no pun intended) and told him to back off.

I wish everything would just go away and leave me alone. (I think that is the tiredness speaking.)

Having a blood test today to check out my thyroid and going to the podiatrist later this week to check out my feet. I have 5 visits under the care plan and the first one made such a difference to the pain in my feet.

Also going to get my hair cut tomorrow. Think I have had enough of trying to grow it.

This was a really pretty moth that came to visit on the weekend. It was on the deck railing and obligingly waited for me to get my camera and take a photo. Good moth. Dont you love the lacy pattern on its wings.


Anyway, I cant blame anything or anyone for my gain this week unless of course it is myself. I am feeling a bit down but it will pass.

Walking Lucy this morning was gorgeous. Cool before the humidity kicks in again, nobody but the two of us, so I could let her off her lead for a little sniff and run. Mark has clipped her a lot over the weekend because she has been really suffering and while she looks a little strange she is much much happier being a shorthaired dog.

This week will be better. I will try and remember all the things that I know about why I am doing badly. I will exercise more, drink alcohol less and try to keep an accurate record of everything for 7 days. I may not succeed but I will try. Hope your week goes according to plan too.
:)

Visitors from last week

These were the visitors from last week.

This is the first echidna I have seen close to the building.

The water dragon is a regular visitor. He sits on the huge rock outside in the garden and holds court and does push up (maybe a courtship thing). His chest goes bright red when he does. Very entertaining.

Well good news for this weeks weigh in this morning.

Lost 700g of the yo yo weight again.

Re the goals:
Had four alcohol free days but I think I made up for it on Friday and Sunday nights. Got to work on that aspect. No wine while I was cooking dinner was hard and felt very righteous that I made it. LOL. Such a twit.

Walked Lucy four mornings and managed a session at the gym doing upper body weights.
Am behind the eight ball this week as I didn't walk her this morning.

Damn what was the other thing. Just let me check.

Oh yes, tracking - Good for four out of seven days. Some improvement needed.

No carbs as in bread at lunch on five days. So a tick there as well I think.

Now down to life's nitty gritty:
J is home from Canada. I am so so happy. The daily multiple phone calls have started again and she even visited yesterday and I didnt care that I had stacks to do, if was just so nice to sit and have a cuppa and gossip. They are all coming for dinner tonight. Hopefully the promised southerly will hold off just long enough that we can sit outside and have dinner.

G is thinking about or should I say has decided to move in with his girlfriend. Slightly freaking out (him not me) because it is a big step. We'll see how it works out. He had to grow up one day.

Nothing much else - have decided to rip up the carpet in the bedroom. There are old polished floorboards underneath and I think I would rather have them then carpet. Especially old dusty moth eaten carpet. We will see how we go and either end up replacing the carpet or repolishing the floor when we repolish the rest of the house.

Everything is going well at the moment and I am very thankful. Let's hope that the weight thingy keeps going down. Silly season fast approaching and I am very susceptible to the silly season.

Have a great week - off to eat another salad - this one with corn and chicken and mayo.
Yum Yum

Lunches and other things

This was today's lunch. My lunches this week have basically been the same. Points free salad - carrot, tomato, lettuce, herbs, mushrooms, cucumber, capsicum and onion. The protein changes - sometimes chickpeas or chicken or ham or egg or fish. The dressing changes but I try to make it as fat free as possible. Oh and I occasionally add a small tin of super sweet corn. No bread of any sort. Third day in a row.

No wine for two nights so far but I am sleeping so badly. Will persevere but am looking forward to Friday.

No exercise this morning because I slept so badly last night but am going to the gym this afternoon for some upper body weight training IF there isnt a storm and I dont have to rush home to placate Lucy.

Yesterday was a problem. Am tracking as best I can and can now see why I am putting on weight rather than losing it. I think when I was going through the Breakfast King, Lunch Prince and Dinner Pauper phase I was eating enough points at breakfast to last the whole day, nearly.

Actually thought about ringing my surgeon today to ask would it be okay to start running on a treadmill. Luckily commonsense prevailed. BUT I really really miss running. I've tried running in the pool but it is not the same.

I am very grateful that I can still walk and that is something hugely to be thankful for.

After talking about the brush turkey on Monday, guess what? A baby turkey turned up this morning in the garden outside my window. So so pretty and cute and so little. They are virtually self sufficient from the moment of birth and there he/she was scratching around in the garden like a grown up. Five minutes later a goanna walked passed so hopefully he got away. If I can get a picture I will.

I am half way through the last school term of the year and it is hump day. Bonus!
Enjoy yourselves.
PS - Am not going anywhere near the scales until next Monday although it is so tempting to check.

Wasn't me, did you see me?

I just wanted you to know that I am still in denial. LOL. At least I recognise it. Is that a good thing or a bad thing?

More weight crept on this week. Can no longer get into my work trousers without them attempting to cut me in half and doing myself a very very nasty injury. Am wearing my Bonds roll top yoga pants to work. Thank god J is in Canada and cant see me. Boy would I be in big trouble. She hates me wearing them if we go shopping. It's always "put some jeans on......"

Okay am going to try a few steps:

• Tracking - I hate it and have great trouble doing it but I will try at least until some control comes back into my life.



• Wine - Am really really going to try and limit my intake to four days off/3 days on. I know that I probably should try to abstain completely for a while but I think I would be just setting myself up for failure.



• Carbs - Have to cut them back, a lot. What was I thinking?
  

I think it is amazing how clever I am at justifying eating and imbibing as much as I have been lately. The old chestnuts such as I deserve it because I work hard/feel like crap anyway/a small treat wont hurt etc etc etc. continually revolve around in my mind. I am so good at it.

Lately I have not been able to do much housework or gardening without starting to feel dizzy and sick. Lots of short breaks need to be taken usually involving lying down. As you can imagine everything takes an eon to do. It is the pits feeling like this. Everything becomes a chore including the work I am actually paid for. I think I went MIA last Friday as when I came into work today I realised all the things that I should have done on Friday and hadnt. Luckily I play catch up well but I was so annoyed with myself.

Anyway enough whining about me, things in general:

The next lot of renovations have been put back until early next year because the builder is running behind again. Oh well.


J reckons she is staying in Whistler but she is coming home on Friday. She loves it so much and I have explained that holidaying in a place is different to living in it but you sometimes can't tell these younguns anything. Miss her so much although we facebook and skype continually. Here is what she saw on her bike ride this morning.

I saw a brush turkey at the end of the street on Saturday morning when I took Lucy for a walk. I see them all the time in the national park and their population has increased dramatically in the last couple of years with the demise of foxes but this is the first time I have seen them this close to home. I am not too sure I want them in my garden as they absolutely destroy everything when they build their nests but it was a novelty. We actually have a nest next to the stairs at work and national parks have meshed it to stop people walking through it to get to the public toilets. Interesting to see if we get to see any babies.

Anyway, have a lovely week and I hope there will be less of me next week and I can stick to this plan this time. I hope you all can reach your short time goals too. Let me know what they are for this week.

Accountability

I hope that I too can be accountable to myself on this frustratingly long journey.

I didnt realise how tired I have been until M asked me would it be okay to have some people over on Saturday night. He was checking because he knows how tired I have been getting. Bone crushingly tired by the end of the week and the end of the week seems to be coming earlier and earlier.

Am off to GP today to talk to her about it. I wanted to go last week but she was away. I need to talk to her about the blood test from a few weeks ago re the anemia. I came to the realisation that the call I got from the rheumotologist's reception was very unsatisfactory and answered none of my questions except that it wasnt caused by lack of iron. I can't believe it took me weeks to realise this - I can be such a drongo. A friend suggested I get my thyroid checked out too so I will ask. It is lovely having friends in the same age bracket - we all seem to be going through similar things.

Made a couple of small changes this week - forced myself out of bed on both Saturday and Sunday (with the mantra in my head that I could go back there once I got home again) and Lucy and I went walking. Just short walking but I was mobile. This is probably the first exercise I have done in nearly 7 weeks due to the tendon damage that I think I did. Just took time and rest to heal itself. I will wear my MBTs again but maybe not on my Lucy walks which is a shame because they did make me feel like I could walk forever. It is such a lovely walking motion but anyway, preservation has to come first. We have also walked both mornings this week too.

I am going back to the gym again tomorrow afternoon after work and will start doing upper body work mainly. Only once a week to start with. I think I did too much last time and really paid the price of sore and overworked muscles. Time to find a happy medium.

Weight has still been climbing. I know I have been eating too much again. I was fooling myself that I would have a big breakfast, a medium lunch and a small dinner but it never worked out. And I have to stop snacking because I dont have that stop mechanism that most people have. I am sure sometimes I could eat until I exploded, patch myself up and come back for more.

On the home front: M is still wearing himself out sanding the deck back and restaining. I dont quite know what all the rush is about unless he knows something that I don't. Anyway he off to the Hunter tomorrow to play golf.

G is starting to make serious noises about his new/old girlfriend. Maybe second time around they will make it.

J is in LA at the moment. They spent yesterday at Venice beach and the sights had her wishing that she had brought her SLR. She absolutely loved the place even though I remember it as a fairly tacky place. She probably sees it through different eyes. She is a really good photographer and takes some amazing photos. She had a great time in Las Vegas and went for a helicopter ride over the Grand Canyon. She is off to Vancouver in a couple of days. She has heard from her friend there that it is snowing in Whistler so she is looking forward to that. She absolutely loves what she has seen of the US and is talking about her and Marc going back there in the future and visiting the east coast.

In general: I just read the eulogy by Mona Simpson on her biological brother, Steve Jobs. It was so moving and if I knew how I would put a link in here but I sure that if you are interested you will be able to find it. It appeared online in today's edition of the Sydney Morning Herald.

Today is Melbourne Cup day! If you have a bet or are in an office sweep I hope your horse does well. It really is the "race that stops a nation". Have you ever driven on the road when it is on. The place is like a ghost town.

Enjoy the rest of the week - I am going to start adding links to my posts next week to others who have inspired me and why. That is as soon as I work out how.

Take care

AWOL

I am a bit AWOL at the moment. Feeling tired and a bit grumpy. Talked to a friend who is a nurse last night and told her what happened with the results of my blood test for the anemia which was actually nothing really. The specialists secretary rang me and read the report to me but couldnt actually answer any of my questions. Perhaps I am just a bit too accepting of things. I should have insisted in speaking to the doctor. Anyway I have made an appointment to see the GP next week so will talk to her about it. Don't know what it is but cant seem to get motivated and I should be because it is spring and everything is green and lovely.

Ankle is okay. Some degeneration in the other ankle joint (there are apparently two) but he doesnt want to do anything about that until he absolutely has too as if the second joint is fused it will make the prosthesis fail. Oh joy.

Weight gain this week which I guess just goes with the mood. So today, have started again. Put the biscuit barrel away at work - you know out of sight out of mind.

J is on restricted duties until nearly Christmas. God I hope she is okay overseas. If she stuffs it up completely it could mean a hip replacement. Someone should outlaw snowboarding.

G is having relationship issues once again. He is a bit of a sunshine sucker - love him dearly but he is so much like my beloved Dad. Always seems to see the glass half empty rather than half full.

M is still enjoying his retirement. Sanding the back deck back at the moment and restaining it. He is like "pigpen" from Snoopy. Seems to be encased in a cloud of dust all the time. He is loving this wonderful weather but there is a cool change on the way tonight so hopefully this doesnt interfere with his home handyman plans.

Strange things are happening at work. Nothing to do with me but impacting on me.

Enough doom and gloom. Going to get stuck into some jobs that I have been putting off. The dreaded filing as I can't seem to find anything when I need it and I might even get a look through my intray.

Hope that your week is bright and sunny.
xxx

Back again

Spoke to soon last week.

Last Tuesday night was hit with a full blown gastric bug. Unable to get out of bed the next day and lost over 2 kgs in weight in a 24 hour period. Of course it has nearly all returned. Drastic way to lose weight though.

In my bid to make sure that the specialist doctors in NSW dont go without - I went to dermatologist on Friday morning and everything is AOK there and now dont have to go back for 18 months. (Woohoo - I may nearly be retired in 18 months, or maybe not.) Had coffee with Jess, did some shopping and got some Bond's Tshirts at 40% off. They are such nice Ts and they are getting hard to get for some reason.

The afternoon brought a CT Scan and then walking the local shopping mall looking for a present for an 18 year old. Luckily Jess had done some advance legwork and found a perfume she liked, sent me a picture of it so that eventually when I ended up back at DJs just showed the perfume lady the picture and bought it. As she said, I wonder what we did before all this technology! Also bought some more bras (30% off) and found some more Ts at 40% off. Except for the fact that my feet were killing me it was a very successful shopping trip.

The 18th birthday party was at Tumut which is about 4.5 hours south of home. So on Saturday afternoon, after golf of course, we set off. Got there about 5 pm and headed straight to the pub to meet Mark's brother.

Back to the motel to get changed for the party - fancy dress of course. Had to be something that started with a letter of the birthday girls name. I went as a MasterChef complete with apron, potmitt and teatowel, Mark went as a Mexican with a striped poncho and sombrero. The hit of the evening in my eyes was his 70 year old brother whose wife managed to talk into dressing up as an elf/leprachaun coomplete with red tights and pointed ears. I loved it and so did all the little kids.

Home the next day in time for the RWC semi final. So sad for the Wallabies. I am sending them some of Linda's love, hugs and positive energy. At least rugby is now over for us until next year. Congratulations to the All Blacks - you played superbly.

Jess has found out that she had a stress fracture in the pelvis. I can't believe it. She probably ran the city2surf with a fractured pelvis. Nothing much can be done. Just rest for 6 weeks - not too much walking, no running etc. Not good news as she leaves for the US on Thursday week and trying to keep her still has always been nearly impossible. She can swim because it is non weight bearing so she will have to expend some energy that way. If she is not careful it might collapse completely and she will need a hip replacement and I will kill her.

Taking my scans to the ankle surgeon tomorrow morning. Hopefully the news is good and it is/was only tendon damage and I can start walking and gyming again.

Have a great week and hopefully I will catch up with your blogs soon.

A hopefully short post

I realised today that it has been three weeks since I last checked in. Today is the the day from hell back here at work. Have been flat out all morning and then realised that I forgot to join a conference call this morning. Have apologised profusely and asked to be included next time. Where is my head at the moment?

The holidays were lovely - well kind of.

Had a lovely birthday - three full on days. Thank you to all who sent me messages on facebook and emails. Family bought me a new espresso machine, coffee bean grinder and some coffee beans from an apparently special coffee place in Naremburn. My sisters gave me pandora charms for my necklace which was lovely. Also had dinner at Epoque at Cammeray. Chilli mussels - yum my favourite.

My girlfriend and her husband had flown down from Queensland especially and we had a wonderful time. On Saturday we had lunch in at the antipasto bar in DJs in the city, then shopping and I even managed a visit to Zara, something that I have been wanting to do for a while. It was packed and I will definitely be revisiting some time soon. Girlfriend's husband came with us everywhere, carried parcels and never complained once. He really is a patient lovely man.

We dropped them back at the airport on Sunday afternoon and then came home to prepare a sausage sizzle for a group of friends. Nice night but was really really tired by Monday.

Monday started with sore throat and sniffles and then progressed into full blown cold. Ended up bedbound later in the week. Just couldnt be bothered. So annoyed that I had to spend my holiday sick. Back at work now but still not too well.

Bone scans and xrays have been done but I have to go and have a CT scan on Friday as surgeon wants to make sure that the thing that is now my ankle has become dislodged. It definitely isnt as sore as it was but still swells. Also went to the podiatrist and he has definitely helped with the pains I had in my feet too.

Jess has been having really bad pains in her groin and went to physio but it wasnt getting any better. She thought she had hurt herself when she ran the city2surf. She went to a sports doctor today and he had xrays and scans done but couldnt see anything. He kept saying that he was sure she had a stress fracture in her pelvis so she is now going for an MRI. Just had a call from her - she suddenly remembered that she did have a fall when she was snowboarding and maybe, just maybe, that was when it all started and running has just made it worse. Cranky daughter is not happy as it is 2 weeks until she leaves for US and Canada. Here's hoping that she will be okay. Me, I'm worried about whether it will affect my being a grandmother eventually. LOL.

Short post my foot - I'm off - I have work to do.
Going to try and do this more regularly - want to ask advice about diet but have run out of time.
Take care.

Why Does this Happen?

I really need to talk about this hence the second post this week.

Yesterday was a really blah day for me.

I guess it was depression in some form. I felt so down and exhausted. I ate everything in sight. I don't really know what triggered it.

I did think about what was happening to me and possible reasons. The main one is the threat of my ankle really being trashed this time and another operation looming and a secondary one is that I was just getting back into the swing of exercising again and now nothing. I know exercise makes you feel better - endorphins etc and I love doing it.

I have pulled myself back - really there are so many people worse off then me.

I am going to take some painkillers at lunchtime and go for a little walk around the picnic area in the national park to get some sunshine.

But if you have any thoughts on this I would appreciate them.

WARNING - Weight Hazard

OK I am officially declaring the Rugby World Cup a weight hazard!

How am I going to survive 6 weeks or maybe only 4 now of partying (yes yes I know I have nothing to celebrate at the moment), drinks, dinners, nibblies and generally having a great time. This is really rhetorical as we all know what I am going to do - drink, dine and eat in no particular order. Oh well it only comes around every four years thank goodness.

After all that, and in spite of that, I managed to reclaim 600g of the yo-yo weight last week. By reclaim I mean gone again. I am trying to eat sensibly during the week with a meal plan etc etc but on the weekend that meal plan opens the window and flies away so I was glad the scale movement was down again when I had been thinking it was going to be up.

The weather in Sydney is warming up and is glorious. Haven't had a jumper on all day.

Can't remember if I mentioned it last week but my ankle is playing up again. I think I did. Went to GP and she has referred me on the the ankle surgeon again who I see on Tuesday week. Hopefully it is something that can be easily fixed with physio or something like that. But as a result there has been no exercise at all done for nearly two weeks. I have thought about walking Lucy and taking my phone with me just in case I needed rescuing. The pain can be quite a lot or hardly at all. I don't know why. By the end of the day yesterday my right ankle looked enormous.

Also back to see the rheumotologist tomorrow. Hopefully I can stop taking some of the tablets. I think the rash I have got is from the plaquenil - similar to the rash that methotrexate gives me and is driving me slowly crazy. Also hopefully not anemic anymore so can stop the iron tablets too. I'm a walking timebomb at the moment but doing my bit to keep doctors in gainful employment. My GP has put me on a care plan again so I am off to see the podiatrist again and hopefully he will be able to help me with my feet too at minimal cost.

Work has only a week to go, and then holidays for two glorious weeks and more practising for retirement.

Hope everyone has a great week - I intend to.

Excuses Excuses Excuses

Not really, no excuses.

After weeks of carefully planned eating and exercising, the sabotage fairy hit back with a vengenance. Serves me right for feeling smug and in control.

Two days at a conference in a beautiful hotel in Darling Harbour with an overnight stay and all the trappings including a dinner were just the beginning. Who knew I could eat that much food - well really I did but I conveniently forgot it at the time.

Have done something to the foot which had the tendon repair and ankle replacement. Can hardly walk at the moment so Lucy and the gym are once again on hold. Appointment with GP today and another appointment with specialist in two weeks time just to make sure I have not done permanent damage that will require another operation. Christmas is coming and all that (Mark will kill me if I am on crutches for another Chrismas) but I think everyone else is getting used to seeing me like that. Meanwhile am trying to rest it as much as possible. Have a horrible feeling it might have something to do with the MBTs but cant say for sure. They are so comfortable and I love walking in them but maybe I overused an already sick tendon.

Rugby world cup started on Friday night and we went to friends for a homemade pizza and wine night. Damn there I went again.

Saturday night was a 30th birthday party for another friends son and boy did they have great fingerfood and lots of it. Actually was so full that I had to turn some down. Not like me at all. Also there were bowls of soft lollies (snakes etc) on each table and I actually wrestled one of the husbands who tried to take it away. Comical but sad.

Yesterday wasnt too bad but the damage had been done. Stepped on the scales this morning with eyes squeezed tightly shut. Didnt make any difference - the gain was 1.4kgs. Isnt it amazing how quickly it comes back in just 4 out of control days. No really it is amazing.....oh okay, it is pathetic.

Anyway back on track this morning - the planning, the water etc. Mind you we still have a few of weeks of rugby world cup to go but I am going to try and make it through.

Now the good news - Lucy has started walking up steps, sometimes. She is getting better and we are desperately trying to make sure she doesnt overdo it. Mark has thought about ringing the vet to see if he could have some of the injections that she had as they seemed to do the trick. That and an awful lot of spoiling from us. I wouldnt mind having the injections either. I might mention it to the rheumotologist when I go to see her next week.

The weather has turned freezing here again. Really need some warmth soon.

Have a great week - onwards and downwards!

What a Drag it is Growing Old (thanks to rolling stones)

Another 700grams gone this week. I can see it has gone from my face but not the places I want it gone from. It is so frustrating. Used to be so much easier when I was younger. Let this be a warning to all you young-uns!

Last night on FB M alerted us about the interview on ACA (I think) about three former contestants of Biggest Loser and what had happened to them since the show. Someone provided the link and I must say that I was shocked. These people have put the weight back on and in some cases more. They were talking about having a packet of timtams with their coffee and buying a cheesecake and eating it by themselves in one go and semi-blaming the show because they didn't get enough support after the show had finished. While I don't think the show is perfect, it could have been the perfect springboard to a healthier life if this is what they really wanted. Stop making excuses and just do it. As a person who could be a world champion procrastinator if I really tried I know how hard it is. But you just have to make choices and one of my choices is that I don't have the food in the house that I love because I know at low moments I would be eating it with no regard to the damage that I was doing. It is hard work but most of us care about ourselves and treat our bodies well.

Spring has sprung in Sydney and the days are glorious again though they are threatening thunderstorms later today. Light enough in the mornings now for Lucy and I to walk. The sun was this enormous bright red ball this morning. Makes you realise hos lucky you are to be awake at that special time of the morning.

A brush turkey has made a nest near the front steps at work. The scourge of gardeners because they ruin gardens he is fine in the national park. Although the female was there the next day haven't see either of them near it lately so perhaps it was just a practice one. Might not be warm enough to form the incubator they need.

Mark is slowly rebuilding the back steps. I think he is enjoying the challenge most of the time although the air does turn blue occasionally. He made the North Shore Times last week with a article on his family's history on the North Shore. Picture of his Dad working the the family butcher shop was printed too. My goodness I can tell where the boys get their good looks from.

Lucy is better but still wont go up the steps at the back. She has started umping up on the lounge again occasionally. Maybe the warmer weather is helping her too.

I am off to a conference at Darling Harbour for the next two day. Get to stay in the city overnight and go out to dinner as well. Looking forward to it although we will still be working hard.

Have a great week everyone.

PS Endoscopy last week showed that the ulcer had finally healed although I will have to keep taking the medication because the other medication is what caused it and I can't stop taking that or I will seize up. Don't have to have another endoscopy for a year. Good times

Quick one

This was last week's post - have only just discovered it didn't get published. So here goes

I have to get back to work so this has to be quick.

Lost 1kg this week.

Much as I hate the term "mindful eating" (see last week's rant) that is what I did on the weekend.

Had friends over for dinner and rugby on Saturday night so had a light lunch and tried to minimise what I was eating at other meals on the weekend (except for sunday morning which traditions says is the heart-foundation breakfast with all the trimmings).

The weekends are usually my downfall so was not expecting that this weekend would be any different. Pleasantly surprised by scales.

Lucy is getting better slowly. Still wont do the back steps which is making my back ache but now goes up and down the front ones okay. Mark has actually demolished one set of steps out the back to make way for new ones.

My house is a continual building site. I wonder what he will do when everything is up-to-date. Probably never happen will it?

For some reason my hands have gone blue and I have lost feeling in my finger tips on my left hand which is making typing hard. Strange - not that cold here today. Better go and get a warm drink to warm my hands on.

Have a great week and take care.

Mindful Eating

Mindful Eating - This term, used by people annoys me immensely. It sounds so smug. Do they think that most of us are unaware that our eating habits could be improved either a little bit or immensely. Minor rant is over.

Well I lost 700g this week. Followed propoints quite well, drank less alcohol (notice I said less and not none) and tried to drink 2 litres of water each day. It was a hectic weekend with Thai food on Friday night - Thai food really isnt all that calorie friendly and then as it was Mark's birthday on Sunday with lots of food and alcohol and much laughter and good company I was surprised on Monday morning to see the scales down 700g.

Exercise is okay as usual. I am just so grateful to be able to move that it isnt really an issue. When I feel like I want to stay in bed of a morning instead of going to the gym I remind myself that the day will come again when I cant exercise at all and that spurs me on. It is getting lighter in the morning (before daylight saving kicks in again) so I will be able to walk Lucy before work rather than after work which I prefer.

Not much else to report. Thinking about going north in a month or two for a little while to feel some warmth again. Tired of the rain. They keep promising that the weather is going to warm up/fine up but it never seems to happen. Or maybe I just have a short memory.

Have a great week - hope there is less of me next week when I check in again.