Thanks

I just wanted to thank everyone for their kind thoughts.

Chronic pain can be debilitating and depressing and sometimes it does get me down.

Luckily last week I read an article in the May issue of Oprah (I think) about a woman who had suffered depression for many many years.

While she hadn't beaten depression she was battling on.  She had found she was letting herself go and the result of being frumpy wasnt helping her.

So she started forcing herself to get up out of bed every morning.  She hired someone, a stylist I think, to help her with her hair etc.  Luckily she found someone who would not take no for an answer and even though the first trip to the hairdresser was a nightmare for all concerned she got there and found it, as I know I have, uplifting.

Anyway, what I am getting at is that it would be so easy to let myself go especially since I am on a break from work but I am making myself get up every morning and do my hair and put make up on even if I am not going anywhere.  It does make me feel better.

Lucy and I have been walking as you may have seen from Facebook.  Yesterday, we may have walked a little bit too far, and I definitely did think of ringing Fox and getting him to come and pick us up but we kept going.  Mind you my feet were so sore when I got home that I had to take my shoes off and rest for 30 mins but then I was fine again.

Off to have a scan in a while.  The doctor gave me the referral so long ago that I have forgotten what it is all about.

Exciting news, Zanna is coming to Sydney for a visit and we are catching up on Sunday.  So so excited.  We have been blends for so long.

On Saturday, we are going to the races with a group of friends.  Hopefully I will survive the day.  It is hard - I want to dress up but know that I really should consider wearing sensible shoes so that my feet last.  Maybe I will just take extra painkillers.

Last but not least, can someone tell me what is happening with google reader?  It seems to be disappearing after 1st July.  What is the alternative?

Have a good weekend everyone.

Untitled

I can't write anymore I cant think.

I am so grateful for so many things in my life but I don't seem to be able to have the one thing I really want - my health back.

The pain is constant and stupid. Actually the pain i can live with but it is the ache. My muscles in my arms and legs feel like I have run a marathon or spent the day lifting weights.

I' m tired of being tired all the time.  I would spend all my time time in bed if I could but I keep forcing myself up.  When I am in bed the pain wakes me if I lie on my side and if I lie on my back I snore. LOL.

 A weeks holiday hasn't really helped.  I am a bit bored. I can't settle to read or watch TV or do puzzles.

But this will pass. I will always appreciate your support.

I Should Have Known Better

I really should have known better.

I have been telling everyone how great I felt, exercising lots even started back at the gym again.

Latest news - my kidneys aren't functioning properly and they (doctors) have taken me off all medication or downgraded the ones I cant stop taking.

No more arthritis medications at the moment.  The pain, swelling and stiffness has amped up in the last week. After yet another doctors visit last night I at least now have a "pain patch" that might help.  Also sleeping tablets for the nights that I cant sleep because of the pain.

Cant get in to see the renal physician for two weeks.

Also my HRT has run out and my hormone doctor is away for another week.

Can anything else go wrong.

I am so over this.  Sometimes it really depresses me.

Officially end of whinge.

Next post will be positive I promise.  Just needed to get it off my chest.

Down, down, Julie is down

(sung to that annoying Coles jingle. I think that it is an INXS song and I hope I havent put it into your head for the rest of the day)

I know it shouldn't matter but I weighed myself this morning and the weight has gone up again.  I have been exercising religiously and it really is as I always thought it was, exercise does not make a lot of difference to me.  I cant even say that it makes me feel better.  Probably just wears my joints out quicker.


In saying this about exercise, I look at Runkeeper and see that I have exercised more this month than ever before.  Racked up awards/badges in Fitbit too.  I will keep at it when I go back to work or I will try to but it wont be every day I think.  Maybe intersperse it with the gym and yoga.  To walk before work means getting up before 5:30 am and I have just had weeks of sleeping in until 6:30-7:00 or later sometimes.

I am going to try and track what I eat for a week to see if I can pinpoint the problem other than old age.  Mind you the minute I decided that I would track we made up our mind to go out to lunch today to celebrate my last day of holidays (the weekend and public holiday do not count as my holidays).  But I will just write down what I have and then review it next week.

My resolution is still working.  I am relaxing, trying to be pleasant all the time no matter if someone else is being unpleasant (their problem not mine), taking time to acknowledge everyone I see and not taking offence at perceived slights (my problem), being open to change of plans and others' requests and just generally chillin'.  Sometimes deep breathing helps when all else fails.

Back to work on Tuesday.  Those 5 weeks of holidays have just flown.

Cupboards have been cleared out and I have a guest room piled high with bags ready to go to charities.

M tells me apparently I am going to do it all again next holidays.  We will see.

We have got on surprisingly well while I have been off.  A precursor to retirement maybe.  Although I dont know who makes the lunches and cups of tea when I am not here.  He seems unable to.

On a friend's recommendation I have joined a co-op type organisation called "HarvestHub".  I have to pick up my first order this afternoon.  Hopefully in the long run this may save me some time and money.

Summer keeps coming and going here.  Last Friday was the hottest day since 1939 I think or it could have been ever.  The temperature got to over 46 degrees.  Even too hot to go swimming outside until later in the day.  I dont mind the heat in the day most of the time but I cant stand it at night.

Got my new sunglasses this week. Plus new lenses for my driving/watching tv glasses.  Over the past two months M and I have spent an absolute fortune at the optometrist.  Probably put a child through university.  I still have two pairs that need the new prescription in them but they will have to wait a little while until my budget recovers.

J is on her way to Goulburn next week to start her detective course.  I will miss her so much.  No daily phone call to make sure that I am alright.  I keep telling her that her father and I get up to so many dangerous things during the day (standing on ladders, climbing up on the roof, driving down windy narrow roads) that she has to check and make sure we are okay.

As an aside, our neighbour who is a bit younger than us, climbed up on her roof a month or so ago and as she was stepping off the ladder she kicked it away and was trapped up there.  She tried calling to M (deaf as a dormouse) and the guy who lives two doors down but neither of them heard her.  Luckily she go the attention of one of the teachers in the high school next door and he came around and put the ladder up again. I dont think she will be climbing on her roof without her phone in future.

Books read this holidays (not many)
The Snowman by Jo Nesbo
Enjoyed it but as it is set in Norway had trouble with their names and remembering who was who. Trouble when I read on Kindle I cant seem to see the book is long or short and I think this one was long.

Have started reading the first book in The Wheel of Time series by Robert Jordan.  Apparently the 14th and last book in this series has just been published.

Friend has also emailed me a list of books and writers to read.  So many books so little time.

Movies I have seen this month (some old some new)
The Hobbit
Les Miserables
Trouble with the Curve
Moneyball
Pitch Perfect

And that is about all the news I have.  To those in Australia, enjoy Australia Day celebrations this long weekend and everyone stay safe :)

The Happiness Project

I am one of those people who sees something and thinks "what a good idea" and goes out and buys it without really thinking about it which leads me to the Happiness Project.

I got an email from Kikki.K, a stationery store, that stocks really lovely things just made for me.  Anyway this email was talking about the Happiness Project which comes from the title of a book and Kikki.K offers all sorts of yummy things such as:

• Weekly Goals Pad
• Quote Cards
• Happiness Journal
• Food and Exercise Journal
• Happiness Project book
• Happiness in a box

Following is a link to the website so that you can see what I am talking about if you are interested.

The Happiness Project

As I read the email I could feel the cravings begin.  I downloaded the offered first chapter of the book itself and thought this sounds like a great thing to do.

And then commonsense kicked in.  Whoa, I don't need any of these things to be happy.  I would be making someone else happy buying them but they wont change a single thing for me.  I dont need special, and oh so pretty, pads/cards/journals to help me be happy.

Nevertheless, I actually went to the shops yesterday with the thought in my mind that I would at least buy the Food and Exercise Journal.

Had a few errands to run first and all the while running through my mind was the thought "why do you need a special book to record what you eat".  I am really crap at tracking and lose interest after a few days so from past experience it would just end up another book that I have bought and don't use.  It always becomes too hard.

The good news to this long and rambling post is that I didnt even go into the store.  I bought two blouses instead.  Cost a lot more money but I needed them and they made me happy. And they weren't black (I am trying to stop buying black clothes). LOL.

So I've realised something - I don't need to waste my money on pretty journals etc to work out how to be happy.  If I need to record things, a cheap exercise book will work just as well and there are so many inspirational quotes on the internet for free I really dont need to buy specific cards which I would probably forget to look at.

Anyway, the rest of the week in a nutshell:
The Fitbit Zip, as mentioned in last weeks post,  is a wonderful little gadget.  I have managed over 10,000 steps on a few days and have just passed the 50km mark.  But it has made me realise that after entering in all the relevant details, even on the days I manage 10,000 steps I am not burning enough calories.  What I am achieving is better than nothing but it is not enough.

I went back to the gym on Monday for the first time in over 5 months.  After the girls had picked themselves up off the floor I went and did 20 mins extra walking on the treadmill and some lateral pulldowns.  Wasnt sure I should be doing weights but just felt I needed to start somewhere as the "fatback" is really irking me.  Anyway, physio on Thursday said I can go back to doing weights but to start slowly so that is what I am going to do next week.

Went and saw Les Miserables this week. Hmm what can I say.  I dont quite believe Hugh Jackman was nominated for an Oscar for this role.  Lovely man that he is I'm sure, he just didnt cut it as Jean Valjean for me and what can I say about Russell Crowe.  I heard someone yesterday describe him in this role as having perfected single every song in one note and this was true.

The movie went for nearly 3 hours and I felt slightly bored for the first 90 mins and Jess was definitely restless next to me.  The pace picked up when the young people arrived with their revolution.  Sacha Baron Cohen and Helen Bonham Carter were excellent in their roles as Thenardier and his wife.
Daniel Huttlestone who plays the street urchin, Gavroche, was excellent too.  Slightly strange were to cockney accents some of the cast used since this was set in Paris.

Anyway, glad I saw it, cried at the end but wouldnt go out of my way to watch it again.

Quickly, for some reason lost 500g this week.  Probably just water.
Have a great weekend and week ahead.  Only 2 weeks holidays left now.  Just flying by.

It's been a long time

Well here I am finally.
Know I have a lot of catching up to do.
Where to start.
Down to going once a month to physio and if I do the exercises that I have been given religiously the pain is less.
Trying to walk Lucy every day since the summer holidays have started but as today was sleep in Sunday I haven't gone yet.  I am waiting for the temperature to drop a bit and the sun to get a bit lower in the sky.
Weather here is hot but not as hot as it is in other parts of the state or country.  You have got to love the weather conditions that keep coastal Sydney cooler than elsewhere sometimes.  My sister lives about 50 minutes west of here and the temperatures are always 7-10 degrees hotter than here. Colder out there in winter too.  Mind you we still have to get through the hot and humid months that are coming until the bliss of Autumn arrives.
I gardened today in short bursts until I got everything I wanted to get done done.  Ironing has been done and am just about to go out an water pot plants.
I am loving being on holidays.  Am just pottering along.
Christmas was great and New Years was fun.
Have cleaned out one of the linen press cupboards and a major part of my wardrobe.  Finally allocated all my high heels to Lifeline.  They have been hardly worn but my ankle wont let me wear anything other than flats now.  Also passed on a stack of jeans I am never going to fit in to anymore.  It was a hard admission, both the shoes and the jeans, but it is time to move on.
Mark wants me to clean out the other cupboards too and I have to reorganise my study.  It seems to have become the dumping ground of things that dont have a home.
Everyone is well.
Gareth has moved into a new unit down the lower North Shore and seems to be happy.
Jess has moved on in her life too and has a new man in her life.  (She finally told me yesterday but I knew there was someone or something making her glow.)  She starts her detective course soon. By this time next year she will be a detective.
Bought a FitBit the other day and it is a really great pedometer.  It has lots of other bonus things too and I have linked it to my iPhone and iPad.  It is tiny and bright green.

Comes with a little holder which I just clip to my bra and forget I even have it on.  (Have to remember to unclip every night - dont think going through the washing machine would be a good option.)  Ordered it on Thursday and it was here Friday morning.  So impressed with the delivery.  They have a set of scales I would like too but at the moment the scales I have a perfectly serviceable so cant really justify buying new ones.
My boss bet me that by the end of the 5 weeks break I would be sick of being at home with Mark and champing at the bit to get back to work.  Nearly half way and it hasnt happened yet.  Now, if someone would just pay me to stay at home I would be in seventh heaven.
Went to see  "The Hobbit" this week with Gareth.  I love the book so much and it was interesting to see how they have split it into the first movie in the trilogy.  Cant wait to see the next one but I guess that is a year away.  We saw it in 3D and I spent a lot of the time ducking things.  LOL.
This week I am going to see "Les Miserables" with Jess and my sister.  This is why I had children so that I have someone to go to the movies with.  Mark has opted out but if pressed would have come with me.  I dont think he would have made me go by myself.
Oh, and also I now how glasses for computer work.  I had been making so many little mistakes at work with numbers.  You know confusing 0 and 6 or 8 and 9s.  Frustrating and infuriating.  I was actually able to articulate this to my optometrist this time and he actually knew what I was talking about.  Everything was just a little bit out of focus.  It is now annoying to have two pairs of glasses (one for distance and one for computers) but as my eyesight progresses or changes I will probably get transition lenses.  Anyway off tomorrow to get new sunnies and the lenses changed in the glasses I use to drive at night/watch TV.  Apparently I was shortsighted which means I had my short sight but as my long sight is deteriorating the short sight is improving.  As I said, everything has been slightly out of focus for a while now which has resulted in tiredness etc.  Cant believe what a difference my computer glasses have made.
Time to go - sun low enough to walk Lucy I think.
Hope everyone has had a great Christmas and a wonderful New Year.
2013 is going to be awesome.  I can feel it in my bones.
No resolutions to speak of - just try to relax a bit and understand that it is not all about me when people say or do things that hurt me.  Not even their problem.  Breath deeply and let it go.........
Life is too short and there are so many lovely people to meet and exciting things to do.

Time is Flying

Wow, it is over two weeks since I last checked in.  Slack slack slack.

Linda has inspired me to catch up.

Everything this travelling well.

The new physio is providing me with some really great tools namely how to use my body correctly.  I am virtually retraining it.  Following his advice I can now nearly walk up and down stairs pain free.  I am relearning how to get up from a sitting position.  Getting up from the floor is the next thing.  I have learnt how to breath with my diaphragm and not to shallow breath.  He can actually touch my left leg without me going through the roof.  Where has this man been all my life.  My walking gait has improved and strengthened.  It all takes a lot of concentration in trying to get my body to use the right muscles to do things but it is happening slowly.

Okay what else - Ocsober has progressed well.  Day 23 and no real problems except it really isnt fun being the only completely sober person at an event.  Hasn't made a great deal of difference to my weight but I think I am sleeping better.  Planning to do parched March but cant do dry July as that is our Hunter Valley visit month but will try and think of a witty name for June and do that instead.
Three months of the year completely alcohol free should do me good.

My girlfriend from Queensland, Chez, and her husband are visiting the first weekend in November. She is glad Ocsober will be over by then.

M has finished another plant stand.

It is not what I wanted there.  I wanted a raised garden bed to hide the fence and next doors dilapidated garage but these plant stands are growing on me.  He has made another one but now it is too hot for him to be out in the sun all day and they are so heavy he has to make them in situ unless he has someone (not me) to help him move them.

G has decided that buying a unit is all too hard and he cant find anything he likes in his price range.  He really is a Gen Y. LOL.  He is about to re-enter the renting market.  His life seems to have settled down again.  He looks well and doesnt seem so dissatisfied (at the moment). Sigh.

J is travelling along well.  She has been out to Bourke to visit a friend.  A long drive by yourself so of course I got lots of phone calls with "I'm bored".  I think she is looking at going overseas again in the near future.  Talking about doing Tough Mudder again in February.  She is a glutton for punishment.

Oh well, that is all.  Not exciting but at least I have checked in.  We have no Sundays free between now and December.  Let the madness begin.

Enjoy your week - catch up soon.

Brief update

Okay have completed 4 days of Ocsober.
Tonight we are out to dinner and trivia with friends.  Test time.
Don't think it will be a problem.

Physio yesterday introduced some simple pilates exercises.
Still having trouble with diaphragm breathing but I think I am getting there.
If I concentrate I can nearly balance.
Used pilates machine (not sure what they are called) for the first time and it was not easy.
My body is all skew-if when I walk. Similar to the way I hold myself when I walk up and down stairs.
About my body sending messages to my brain re pain and my brain compensating and trying to help me by twisting myself and favouring one side.
When I walked Lucy yesterday I tried to put into practice what I had been shown.
Probably tried too hard.
Very tired after the 30 mins and lower back is slightly sore today.
He (physio) still thinks he can fix me.  I have faith in him too.
If he shows me what to do I will do my best to do it.

While I have been wheat-free for months now I have been fudging on other things like carbs.
Probably too many carbs so have cut potato out of my diet at night.
Other things will follow.
I am not going to rush this.
I am still learning and with the help of Linda and Jenny,  I am getting there.

Holidays are nearly over.
Back to work next week - checked my work emails this morning and there are already people wanting to book for next year.

Today is quite warm.  Feels like bush fire weather.
Also read this morning about storm season starting and probably being quite bad this season from now until Autumn, especially hail wise.  I think there is one threatened for tonight.  I will stay home with Lucy the wonder dog until it has passed. Hopefully it wont go on forever as I am expected for dinner at 7 pm and I missed out completely last month because of sickness.
Still croaky and coughing a bit but a lot better.  My sister thinks my voice is husky and sexy. LOL.

Have a great weekend and enjoy yourselves.
xxx

Holidays are almost over

Today is a beautiful spring day. Warm, nice breeze blowing. Probably a bit too warm for Lucy who is still sporting her winter coat. Time for M to clip her I think.

Well I am 3/4 way through holidays. Back to work next Monday except I am attending a stop work meeting in the city. Job cuts, no redundancy, workers comp losses, leave entitlements being attacked - where will it end. I work in a professional typically prized by mothers of small children ( as I once was) but the future is looking gloomy for those who will follow me. Anyway that is a battle yet to be fought and one I dont think we will win as the work we do is not seen as "important".

I have accomplished a few things in this time I have off.  I have sorted our taxation papers out. Just waiting for the arrival of one more piece of paper and then it can go off to the accountant.

I have been referred to and started going to a new physio who specializes in backs, clinical pilates(?) and acupuncture. He thinks he can help me. Last week it was learning or relearning how to walk up and down stairs without looking like a penguin. A very stiff looking penguin. Yesterday was learning how to breathe from my diaphragm while holding my stomach muscles in and not tensing my neck.  I suck at this. I am supposed to practice twice a day for 40 or 50 breathes. As mentioned previously I suck at doing this and since I have the attention span of a gnat am trying to do it in lots of 10. Have a feeling I may be in trouble when I go back tomorrow.

J and I went to see Madagascar 3 last week and then sorted out my new iPhone 5 with Optus ( not the most helpful people) then had lunch at the Mooney Club.

On Sunday for my birthday we were to meet the children at Greenshades for lunch.  M and I got there first which is normal. J arrived about 5 minutes late - not too bad. We waited for G to turn up. J eventually rang him. He had forgotten. After she told him off ( as only a sister can do) and told him we were not going to wait for him as it would take and hour for him to get there we ordered lunch. These things happen.  He made it there in 40 minutes. I asked for hostilities to be put on hold and we ended up having a lovely lunch.

Lots of football finals last weekend.  The mighty Swans won the AFL grand final in Melbourne and The Storm won the NRL grand final in Sydney.  Of course the Wallabies lost yet again in South Africa.  I'm thinking of changing codes and becoming an AFL supporter.  Such a great game.

Finally caught up with Jenny from NZ this morning for coffee.  I didn't mentioned to M where I was going and Jenny's family were worried she was meeting up with an axe murderer.  Lovely catching up and going over the finer points of the eating plan we are both following (me a bit more loosely). Have actually found since I got home Dr Davis brief synopsis of do's and dont's. I really need to do a bit of revision as this spare tyre around my middle is driving me insane.

Am recovering from whatever I had. Voice still has it's croaky moments and cough has changed to a different cough but still very annoying at night. It's been over a month so surely must be on the downhill run now.

That's about all I think.  I am attempting Ocsober. No alcohol for the month of October. They all think I can't do it but that is just the encouragement I needed to prove them wrong. Hopefully my abstinence will also reflect in my weight. Meanwhile I will have to cut back on food intake too. A little bit here and a little bit there may make a difference.

I hope everyone is traveling well this week. I will use the rest of the afternoon to catch up on blogs.

Anniversary

Hi, back again.

Still dont have a voice much to the hilarity of everyone I try to talk to. 
M cant hear me (that might be a ruse), my boss thinks I sound like Don Corleone and another work colleague said I sounded like I should be doing adult phone calls.

Still have the cough too but that is mainly at night or when the temp drops a bit.  Means sleeping is difficult for all of us but hopefully it will lessen soon.

Second last day of term today and after tomorrow am officially on school holidays yet again.
J and I are going to see Madagascar 3 on Tuesday.  I just love the giraffe - "afro circus afro circus afro polkadot polkadot afro.  Everytime I hear that I just break up.  Look out - second childhood coming. 

Last weekend we went to the Mooney Club at Mooney Mooney for lunch.  Such a nice day with nice people.  Am going to take Jess there next Tuesday and join up.  Very popular restaurant - requires booking in advance.

Lovely thing happened last week - NZ Jenny T rang me.  She is still here visiting her daughter and I am hoping that my voice returns soon as that will make it easier but whatever, we will meet up, if possible, if she has some free time inbetween official mother/grandmother and nurse duties in the next two weeks.

Weather in Sydney has been glorious.  Warm sunny days and cool nights.  The storms have started and except for the fact that they terrify Lucy I love them and the garden has had at least two good soaks.

There will be pictures next time I post.  The wisteria is in full bloom as are the blossom trees.  Looking forward to the jacarandas soon too.  Nothing says storm season to me like the blooming jacarandas against a dark gray sky.  My birthday azalea is just starting to bloom.
M has made a plant stand (apparently the first of a few).  They look quite good.  Not quite what I wanted or envisaged but he is so proud of it.

Re last post - list is back in operation and my world, which was slightly out of kilter, is back where it should be.  

Any way back to the title of this post - It is 7 years this month since I started blogging.  Have met quite a few of my fellow bloggers (unfortunately most are not blogging anymore) and I cant tell you what your friendship, advice and encouragement has meant so much to me over all these years.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart....

Control

Am having trouble doing this on the iPad.

Control.... Something I have lost in the last week of being sick.
Still can't talk, still coughing but throat has subsided.

Still being asked what are we having for dinner - I actually don't care at the moment please yourself is not going down well.

No washing is being done but to be fair if I put it in the washing machine it does get hung out and brought in folded.

I must check today if the canary is still alive.  Feeding it probably is not high on the list of things to remember.

I'm thinking I should make one of my famous lists so that when I am incapacitated the normal processes will continue.  Rather like a checklist.  I know that everything I do everyday may not be  essential to anyone but me (and the canary).

So I lie here plotting and planning about how I am going to try harder when I am well again - please let it happen soon.

Try to exercise more (gentle walking is a good starter), eat well, drink alcohol less (hasn't been a problem lately as it all tastes vile).

As an aside.
Thank goodness for SMS and emails.  It is how I am corresponding with everyone even M.
Thank goodness for the iPad. It keeps me in touch with the world.
Thank goodness for the kindle and the unending supply of books.
Thank goodness for Words With Friends - it is keeping my brain from turning to sludge.
Thank goodness for my little dog who rarely leaves my side and makes me smile often just by looking at her.

So from the control freak - hope you are all having a better week than me but the good news is it is all up from here.

Life wasn't meant to be easy...

Finally able to type something.  You know - one of those days when nothing goes right.

I am sitting in bed, a place I havent left in two days except to vote in the council elections.  I have been as sick as a dog and let me tell you I am over it.

It started with a bit of a cough on Monday.  Progressed on Tuesday to starting to lose my voice. Still went to a work conference on Wednesday/ Thursday even though I had started to feel terrible.

Just made it through but got a doctors appointment on Friday and cancelled the endoscopy which was to have happened on Friday because didn't think an anesthetic was such a great idea.

Couldn't face the trip home by public transport so Jess offered to drive into the city and pick me up.  On the way home she rang the doctors changed my appointment to that afternoon, took me to the doctors and the chemist, brought me home and I went to bed and I have been there ever since.

I obviously have a secondary infection but had to plead with the doctor for antibiotics.  They all know that my immune system is impaired and can't fight even normal infections.

I am still coughing like I have a 3 pack a day habit, my voice hasn't returned as yet, my throat (complete with ulcers) is slightly less sore than it was, no energy, no food in the house, no clean clothes, have run out of the medication I am supposed to take first thing every morning and I don't have a prescription because I think I thought I was having the endoscopy on Friday and I might not need to take it any more.  At least that is what I thought I thought, I can't remember.

I am supposed to fly to Mudgee tomorrow night for another conference but I don't think I am going to make it.

M hates it when I am sick.  Big problem at the moment is that I still have to tell him what needs doing - he is deaf and I can hardly talk and he asks me to repeat everything I say.  If I was well enough I may hit him.

Oh well, what did Malcolm Fraser say all those years ago - life wasn't meant to be easy.

An update

Good news to report.

No. 1 - spring is in the air although they have promised us a southerly change later this morning which will drop temperatures quite a bit.  Damn I have just remembered I didnt bring my coat to work and I have to go to the farmers market today.  Talk about a short memory. A couple of warmish days and I have forgotten winter.

No. 2 - have been hobbling around for a week.  Got up on Tuesday morning, which I think, is a week since this latest problem started.  Could hardly weight-bear on that foot so took some painkillers and got on with it.  Gradually during the day I noticed that the pain didnt get any worse and here it is Thursday and I havent taken any painkillers since Tuesday morning.

On Monday I went for a walk at lunch time extremely slowly with lots of limping.  I just needed to get out and do something.  I felt like I should have had a walking frame or cane.

Then by Tuesday lunchtime as mentioned above the pain has lessened to the extent that I felt okay walking a bit further.

Here it is Thursday and there is a little bit of a niggle there but nothing much.

I have been writing down what I eat each day and trying to drink water.  I am not dieting but I just wanted to see what days were the problems because I basically eat the same things each week.  My weight is going down so that might be helping.

But I think, Dr Julie strikes again, that it might be something like gout which is another form of arthritis.  The week before last we had a very hectic social time with at least two glasses of wine (ahem, maybe more some nights) each night and I have a feeling this might have had something to do with the pain in my left foot.  It is another month or two before I go back to the rheumotologist and put this theory to her but it will be interesting to see if it happens again although I am back on not having alcohol 4-5 days a week.

G has moved back home, kind of.  He is in the process of looking at units to buy.  We have offered to lend him the deposit.  Am I a bad mother? I am kind of over living with grown children no matter how much I love them.  Next hurdle is I am going to ask him for board.  Anyway he has to find something before the end of September so here keeping our fingers crossed.  He has been a bit like a nomad since his split with "the love of his life", sleeping on peoples couches etc.

I think I can finally say that M has retired (two and a half years) although he still wont admit it.  Previous employer offered him another consultancy job a couple of weeks ago and he said no. 

J has decided that she is not going to keep looking for a flatmate and can handle the rent on her own.  She actually likes living by herself. 

Anyway, thank you for your concerns - just thought I would let you know that things are starting to feel better.  Fingers crossed (and everything else) I hope it keeps going that way.
:)xxx

Back Again

Hi here I am back again.
Virtually back where I started.
I have been concentrating on exercising as my Facebook friends can attest as Runkeeper has been keeping everyone abreast of my walks with Lucy the Wonderdog.
But last Tuesday, I think, everything went haywire again.
I woke up in the morning and could hardly walk.  The pain in my left foot was and still is severe.  It kind of feels like a stress fracture but honestly I was fine when I went to bed but not the next morning.  Surely I could not have broken something during the night.
Then my calf muscles have become really sore like I had done too much.  Back of course kicked in in sympathy.  I am a mess.
Also my hands are swelling.  Having trouble getting my wedding rings on and off my left hand and I think the rings on my right hand will have to be cut off.  There is no way they are budging.
Dont quite know how to approach this.  I suppose the first step is the GP but I dont have great faith in GPs other than treating colds, writing prescriptions and referring you to specialists.  And besides, I think my GP is cross with me because I complained about her always being late.  Finally went to see her again last week and I was the last appointment and was in and out in no time and she was only 30 mins late.  She also wouldnt approve my care program until September although she previously had said she would renew it in July. Sigh.
Weight is still slowly going up.  Not eating wheat or dairy. 
This could be part of the problem of course.  Am now trying to write down what I eat everyday and tracking my weight.
So I am taking Panadol Osteo a couple of times a day to take the edge off the pain.
I will wait another week to see if everything might settle down. 
Hopefully I will have better news next time but walking and the gym have been put on hold at the moment which is really annoying me as the weather is glorious at the moment.

Things have been travelling along normally for a change although I did miss the gym last weekend.  Just couldnt get myself there.

I find the weather effects me horribly.  I hate doing the housework on rainy days so having to do the housework last Saturday and then going to the gym on a cold, rainy day was beyond even my super powers.

Today is sunny and from the weather reports quite a pleasant day out there.  Unfortunately I am at work but I have a nice view of the national park and people sitting out in the sun enjoying myself.

M is sick at the moment.  This man never gets sick but after day 5 I am over it.  I get a blow by blow description of how he feels and what is happening within his body.  I dont mind looking after him and doing everything because he is sick but I dont really want to hear about it in minute detail.  Anyway, doctor has finally decided that it prostratitis and told him today that he should start feeling better from today onwards.  The power of positive thinking!  When I left for work this morning he was telling that he would probably end up in hospital.  Oh, give me a break.  After the visit to the doctors he was a bit more chirpy.

G is off to US on Saturday with his on again/off again girlfriend to attend a friend's wedding in Alaska and to celebrate his 30th birthday in Las Vegas.  This is so weird.  He is sleeping on the couch at J's place because he has realised that he cant live with this girl yet he is travelling to the other side of the world with her.  She drinks far too much, spends money like it really does grow on trees and is a bit of a pyscho, but a very attractive one.  Sometimes I just want to smack him.

Maybe I should try out for that show "Grumpy of women".  Seem to be spending a fair bit of time lately ranting.  LOL

OK calm again.  Have been using the app on my iPhone call Runkeeper and although there have been a few hiccups am really pleased with it.  Thanks Linda for the headsup.  I have found the music that I walk to makes a hell of a difference to the speed I walk.  So have made some special playlists in iTunes for my iPhone with an upbeat tempo.  I've found when the tempo is faster I walk faster without even noticing I am walking faster except for the little voice that tells me all the stats for my walk as I go.  I know it is a new toy but it is really making me want to walk every day.  Becoming a bit of an obsession, we (as in Lucy and me) even walked in the dark last night - thank goodness for soccer training and the sports lights being turned on at the oval.

Busy busy weekend ahead.  You know, when you say yes to things because it seems like a good idea but then when it actually rolls around you wish you could stay home in your jammies - that's me this weekend.

As Jen says, hooray today is hump day.  All downhill from here workwise.
(Sorry have forgotten how to do links again to the marvellous women I have mentioned above)
Enjoy

Minor Meltdown

Everything has been chugging along nicely lately.  Except for the aches and pains as winter progresses not feeling too badly.

Except last Tuesday
Had a doctors appointment booked two weeks prior for 4 pm. 
4.45 pm doctor wasnt even in the building being out on house calls.
AND
then when she did show up the muppet of a receptionist put someone else in first because they only wanted a prescription!
I probably over-reacted but it was the end of a tough day and I had a few questions for them, such as
When did my time become less valuable than anyone elses.
Could you imagine me turning up 50 mins late for a doctors appointment and expecting everything to be hunkeydorey?
Did they perhaps ever think about the fact that she was overbooked.
I really didnt expect a visit to the doctors to flare up my ulcer and blood pressure.

The said muppet tried to tell me that this was a rare occurrence but that is rubbish.  It is happening more and more and I am continually hearing people complain that they have had to wait over an hour to get in to see her.

Dont get me wrong, she is a great doctor and I really dont want to have to go to another doctor.

A letter has to be written when I calm down more and I will try again to get an appointment.
Sigh -  Maybe a Saturday when I dont have to keep taking time off work.
Is it just me or is this happening to others too?

Short and Sweet

I have been absent without leave.

I will try to make this short as I am at work.

All doctors reports are back in - if I can put up the pain, the longer the better, than that will be a good thing rather than have anymore major ops with maybe not so good consequences.

Lost my mojo somewhere along the way.  Was exercising by walking Lucy at least three times a week and had started back at the gym two days a week using the weight machines but it suddenly stopped. Things, actually life, keeps getting in the way.  I am trying to put myself first but seem to have got out of practice at that since M has retired.  It is a conundrum.

Weight is still the same so I guess it wasn't the hormones in the HRT.

Anyway today is the last day of the school term and I am off on two weeks holiday.

Over the next two weeks:

• I have plans to do classes at the gym - pilates, yoga and body balance when I can.
• I plan to walk Lucy 5 days a week.
• I will go to the gym on the weekend to use the weight machines because my muscles, especially the hamstrings and quadriceps, have disappeared completely.  Upper body on Saturday, lower body on Sunday.
• I will really really try to limit my glasses of wine to 3 days a week with a plan to reduce it further.
• I will post more.
• I have loaded RunKeeper app on my iPhone so that might help when I can work out how to use it.

We are off to the Hunter for four days/3 nights mid school holidays.  That will be hard but I will try.

J is at the very moment walking the Kokoda Trail in Papua New Guinea.  I can follow their progress as one of the guys in her group has a GPS tracker.  It hasn't moved since yesterday but I am sure that there is a good reason for that.  Please please hold her in your thoughts until she is safely home.  Why couldn't I have a daughter who loved dresses, makeup and just being a girl.  I had to have Action Girl.  No, I wouldn't change her for the world - she keeps me on my toes.

Love to you all - Molly is off to Ireland etc to visit family - travel safely and Linda is running in a race tomorrow - may the weather be kind and remember to enjoy yourself.

Thinking of you all

xxx

Boring and Normal - just how I like it

Well this week has been fairly normal for me.

Firstly, Dr Hormone had news - the previous Dr Hormone had upped the oestrogen and testorerone levels of my troche quite significantly.  New Dr asked me did I know why.  Last time I saw old Dr was in April 2011 and I have no idea why he put the dosage up.  My question was surely he wrote notes.  Apparently not and I could not remember.  I hadnt had a blood test since 2010 so I think that old Dr Hormone may have been getting a tiny bit slack towards the end.  He is still practising somewhere further west but has sold this practice.

Anyway the upshot was that this may be the reason why I have been putting on weight significantly around the middle and when I look back I think yes that is probably when I started piling it on.  I was just thinking that it was normal but maybe there is no such thing as normal.
Anyway I am just awaiting the compounding chemist to post me my new prescription so that I can start it and hopefully see some improvement in my middle.

Also although I was taking 2 biomagnesium tablets every day my magnesium was very low so am now on a scoop of magnesium powder in my juice every morning and 1/2 tpsn of zinc powder in water every night after dinner.  Still anemic but not low in iron so dont quite know what that means.  Too many things to take in. 

Have to drink less coffee and wine and more water or herbal tea.  Sounds boring but will try.

Also had my flu shot as I am finally over the bronchitis.

Secondly, went to see the neurosurgeon re my back.  He couldnt see that it was much worse than it had been in December 2010 when he last operated which was really great news.  I just have to find out where the MRI scans are and send them down to him as of course they werent in the envelope with the rest of the stuff.  So friggin annoying.

Although today looks lovely the weather here has been cold.  6 degrees this morning.  A lot colder in other parts of Sydney.  An east coast low hit on Monday night  and temperatures dropped significantly plus the winds picked up and did lots of damage in southern suburbs and Illawarra.  Ski season starts officially this weekend so children are happy with the weather and are off to the snow tonight for a couple of days. Snowboards and skis are all packed.

Despite the weather,  the builder has finished the brickwork around the study window (shoddy job from a previous builder) and possum proofed the roof (same builder not finishing off roof join properly).  Hopefully roof will go back on deck soonish.  Last weekend when it was raining really missed having that buffer of a dry area and Lucy had no where really to go.  Boy did I get tired of drying her and she is not all that fond of the hairdryer.  AND he (the builder) actually talked about the front verandah and what we have to do there yesterday.  I thought he wasnt going to do it this time and I would have to wait another 12 months but no it is going to be done and then I will get it tiled.  Or maybe I have to get it tiled and then he will redo the posts.  Cant remember but M was there too so I am sure he will remember what was said.

Nothing much else to report.  The market people and I are establishing a nice rapport but I must admit it involves a lot extra planning and work but I enjoy it.  Also found a discount pharmacy nearby to the markets so am going to be getting my prescriptions there in the future when I can.

A small karma type thing happened yesterday.  I wear my mother's wedding ring given to her by my father.  I dont think it is of any great value except it was something that my father gave to my mother.  Inside is engraved "tru love" which I think may have been true at the time.  Anyway it is so small I wear it on my little finger and yesterday when I got back to the car to put away my purchases from the market I suddenly became aware that I no longer was wearing it.  My first thought was to check the car - so I went back and had a quick look but it had so much stuff in it it was like looking for a needle in a haystack.  Then I thought that I would go back to every place I had been and ask and look.  Not really practical as I had been a lot of places.  My last thought was "I hope whoever finds it cherishes it as much as I did".  While walking back into the shopping centre for some reason I decided to check my handbag and guess what I found in the bottom.  The ring.  Now safely restored to my finger.  It must have slide off when I put my purse back in my bag.  I cant describe the feeling that went through me.  I would have done a little dance if that wouldnt have looked a bit strange.

It is a long weekend here this weekend and we have nothing set in concrete to do.  Three whole days off.  Bliss.  Mind you school holidays start in two weeks which is also a reason for celebration except we are being audited (at work) in the last week of term which might be a bit stressful.  Checked the gym timetables and have pencilled lots of things into my diary such as pilates, yoga and body balance. 

Still reading "Wheat Belly" and highlighting so many passages that seem to apply to me.  Skipped the diabetes chapter as dont have that problem.  Tests were negative.

That's all.  Fairly boring week actually.
Enjoy yourselves

Morning Person? Not really

I am not a morning person.  I love sunrise and I love being up at that time of day but it is something that really doesnt come naturally to me hence this picture

I dont know where this picture comes from, maybe Jen, but I remember sending it to my boss as a warning and it really does sum up me in the morning.

I used to be a night owl but that too is changing.  The highlight of my day now is going to bed with my book and reading.  So so sad.

I had a bad weekend last week.  I had to have a glucose tolerance test down which meant that I had to carb up for 3 days beforehand and then fast.  Carbing up when you are wheat free can be a bit of a challenge but I just ate more fruit, visited the gluten free lady stall at the farmers markets etc etc.  BUT it really played havoc with my insides.  Having that test also required me to have blood tests, drink a really really sweet liquid and then wait two years hours in their waiting room then they took more blood and set me free.  Eventually made work at 11:30 with my breakfast in my hand and a lovely boss having my coffee waiting for me.  Boy does he know me well.

Will get results next week but I dont think I have a problem in that regard yet.  It was just that diabetes runs in my family so I think my new "hormone" doctor was just being careful.  Still havent had MRIs on ankles and I dont think it will be next week either as I already have two doctor appointments.  Just doing my best to keep the medical system ticking along.

The cold is settling in here now.  I know it is going to get colder but am feeling it in my joints for the second year in a row already.  But it is not constant just burst of pain that last for a couple of seconds.

And talking about pain, I got a second piercing in my ears 4 weeks ago so I was able to take out the earrings last night but I think today I will be buying extra sleepers because trying to put in the studs again this morning was difficult and painful.  For someone who doesnt heal easily usually, my ears tried to  comply last night.  Must put earrings on my shopping list for today.

Other than that, there is nothing much to report.  Got a new Nano yesterday (bright orange) which apparently hooks up with the Nike training program without anything else.  When I have time I will work it all out.  Lucy and I have managed two walks this week.  The gym is going to send out a search party soon if I dont return to the fold but I have decided that at the moment I want to walk her.  She is starting to resemble a fluffy keg on legs.  The vet will kill me if she puts on any more weight.

New deck roof not progressing because when they took down the old one, the builder saw what a poor job the previous builder had done on the brickwork around the window we had moved about 20 years ago and promptly demolished that brickwork and has redone it.  I must admit it looks so much better and as the deck roof is being lifted the cr*p brickwork would have really stood out.

J has about 3 weeks I guess before she goes to Papua New Guinea to walk the Kokoda Track.  I think she has finally finished splitting everything with her ex but she still hasnt found someone to share her apartment.  We will miss him but she seems a lot happier now.  It's funny with this generation, how could he not see what playing computer games was doing to their relationship and although he did try to limit it I dont think he quite managed it.

Wheatfree living is progressing well. 
The gluten free lady I mentioned above told me that they dont have any wheat products in their kitchens at all so that there cant be any slip ups.  Going back today to buy some more stuff. She told me what she uses and it seems okay.
Have been building up recipes on my iPad so that I can have them with me at all times.  Am about to try and master Readiris which is a program that takes pdfs and converts them because I want to change recipes without having to retype them.  Also would be handy to add notes and observations to recipes.  I am going to have to read the application instructions unless I can talk a co-worker into explaining it to me - again.

Havent been able to keep up with blogs yet again mainly because I am reading books again.  You know when you are reading a book you are really enjoying and you dont want to put it down.  I have been known to cook while reading.

I hope all of you in the southern hemisphere are settling into hibernation time - winter is nearly here and those in the northern hemisphere getting ready for summer.  Both lovely times of the year.  Take care and blessed be.

He is The Eggman, he is the egg man...

The iPad and I are having issues today so don't blame me if this makes no sense. 

I typed this post on the iPad and have now opened it on the computer and it just looks like one big sentence.  Oh, well some editing to do.

When I went to the markets on Thursday the egg man asked me if I wanted double yokers at no extra cost. Asked how he could tell and I think he said because they were bigger. All the doubters (insert men) I told looked at me like I was a bit gullible but as they didn't cost anymore I thought why not. Well the proof is in the picture. My breakfast this morning.

Damn it is coming over cloudy and I have gardening to do. At the same markets I bought 5 more pots of violas. M just rolls his eyes now when I come home with them but I think they are such classy little flowers and I have planted them in most of the pots around the larger plants. They will flower for ages as long as I keep watering them.

Egg shell scattered around them to discourage snails and slugs.  Seems to work.

I also bought some common mint as the mint I have has gone woody. This stuff used to grow weed like at home when I was growing up but I don't have much luck with it. Hopefully this time will prove lucky. Everything has settled down in Js life. They have just about sorted everything out financially. She still hasn't found a flat mate but hopefully soon. Not a psycho please. Her M is moving the last of his things out next Sunday. I have lent her some more money to pay out her half of the credit card debt so she can start afresh.

 Have not exercised for over two weeks. Bronchitis or whatever it was has nearly gone. A bit surprised because normally it hangs around for at least six weeks but hit it this time with antibiotics, puffer, cough medicine, tablets to help me sleep at night and Fess. Will start walking again this week. Lucy and I are definitely getting a waddle up.

 Have been going okay with no wheat, very little sugar and no dairy. BUT had some feta cheese on Friday night and paid the price on Saturday. Serves me right. I am going to have to watch my portion sizes too I think. A bit of a problem there. Still can't believe the difference in the swelling in my ankles. Still have to have MRIs on both of them but they hardly swell at all anymore. Two months ago it looked like I had a cricket ball strapped to one and a baseball strapped to the other. Most of the time I am also feeling a deep-seeded contentment too. One of my strange little joys is the fact that my fridge is slowly emptying of stuff. The pantry too. I try to shop at the farmers markets when I can get off work early (thank you gorgeous boss), plan our meals for the week and only buy the produce I need. It has cut down on wastage and the amount of money I spend. That in itself makes me happy.

Mothers Day breakfast with the children at Echo on the Marina at Roseville was so nice plus I got the bonus of a lovely card plus a gardenia scented candle. I had eggs benedict with smoked salmon and J ate the sourdough that it came on for me.  Selfless daughter.

G and S have moved back to her parents home to save money and at the moment he seems to have settled in quite well. They are off to Alaska in a couple of months for a wedding. J is off to Kokoda in 4-5 weeks. I will be asking you all to focus you thought on her when she is away to help guard her. I am such a worrywart and I can't tell her how worried I am that she is doing this. Worried and extremely proud. It never stops does it?

Discovery of the week:  there is a kindle app for the iPad and I can access all my books on my kindle on my iPad as well.  How cool is that.

Anyway my morning coffee is finished, those scrumptious eggs gone, M has gone to golf and I have the glorious whole day stretching out on front of me to potter before the dreaded ironing tonight.

Although M has gone to golf he has been ill all week and in a lot of pain.  He was really focussed on what was happening to him to the point if he didn't stop talking about it I would have smothered him.  I had lots of yukky things to do such as change dressings, inspect problem etc etc.  Thank goodness, for all concerned, he seems to be getting better.  Still on antibiotics and back to the doctor tomorrow.  He is very sweet, even bought me a cup of green tea this morning at 5:30 before he headed off and as much as I love him I am over it.  Heartless trollop aren't I?

 Have a wonderful day and week and blessed be.