Thursday, December 24, 2009

Part of an email from a friend that I wish for my friends or fiends

True Friendship... SCOTTISH STYLE!!
(None of that Sissy sh1te)
Are ye tired o those pish weak 'friendship' poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality? Well, here are a series o promises that actually speak of true friendship. You will see no cute wee smiley faces on this card .
Just the stone cold truth o a great friendship.

1. When ye are sad -- I will help you get pished and plot revenge against the bastard who made ye sad.
2. When ye are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking ye.

3. When ye smile -- I will know ye are thinking of something that I would probably want to be involved in.

4. When ye are scared -- I will take the pish oot o you every chance I get,
until you're NOT.

5. When ye are worried -- I will tell ye stories about how much worse it could be until YE STOP WHINING!

6. When yer confused -- I will try to use only wee words.

7. When ye are sick -- Stay the f*ck away frae me until ye are well again.
I don't want whatever ye've got.

8. When ye fall, I will laugh my f*ckin heed aff at you, you clumsy arse,
.......but I'll help you up.

9. This is my oath.... I pledge it tae the end.
'Why?' you may ask;
Because you are my friend.

Friendship is like pishing your pants, everyone can see it, but only you can feel the true warmth.

Send this to 10 o yer closest friends,
Then get depressed because ye can only think o 4 .

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Merry Christmas

I hope everyone has a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

I am recovering well. Stitches came out last Wednesday and new cast put on. Have it for 4 more weeks. Then back to the doctor and into the aircast boot thingey for another 4 weeks. Am able to weight bear so that has made life easier. Wont know results for sure until I can walk again to see what range of movement I will have.

Enjoy yourselves on Christmas day and will be back soon.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

What I Want/Wish/Need for 2010

My wishlist begins with
Calmness – to sit and breath – Meditate daily
To Be Able to Let Go – To not be so prickly and take offence with people
To not feel threatened (not as sinister as it sounds) – to realise that I am not that important and the world will keep turning whether I am in that particular spot or not
To downsize my life - Simplify
Good health – Maybe beyond my control but I will give it a good try
To change my priorities – Not sure what this means – at the moment I want to become a hermit but I’m sure that isn’t what I really want
To keep a written journal for 365 days - No matter what
To take more photographs – to have a tangible reminder of things that delight me
To honour my body – poor broken thing that it is (pathetic isn’t it)
To clear the clutter – a daunting task and something I have wanted to do for a long time and have started in many ways but not enough

I wrote the above 2-3 weeks ago then I read an article in January's Oprah by Michelle Burford called "The Breakthrough". I could have written this article (except the African-American references) and if I was this literate, especially the beginning line "every January for 15 years I committed to a different weight loss scheme....". She has an "If-I-Do-Just-Two-Things-This-Year List. Small steps - only a couple such as last year her steps were completing five jumping jacks and having one tablespoon of flaxseed everyday. By mid year she felt confident enough to start powerwalking. She has saved a lot of money in transportation costs but she has also lost 40 pounds and 5 inches off her middle. Her cholesterol and blood pressure are now normal. Now I dont know what her starting weight was but this article has given me a glimmer of hope and made me realise that maybe I want/wish/need too much. So this year I am going to aim at the following:

Good health: (when I can walk again - 10,000 steps a day) - reducing alcohol consumption and stop eating the food I absolutely love but which doesnt love me at all (grammar?). I have finally got off my butt and got a referral to a new rheumatologist for a second opinion. His office doesnt reopen until 11 January and I will probably have to wait months to get in to see him but as least I feel a bit more proactive now rather than sitting around watching my body deteriorate.

Even though it wasnt on the original list I may include a tablespoon of flaxseed everyday.

Hopefully during the year I can add a few more things from list but by taking the New Year Resolution pressure off and just chilling out I may achieve something.

So my dear friends, hang on - 2010 may be bumpy but it is a ride I wouldnt miss for the world. Afterall what is the alternative?

Thursday, December 03, 2009


I'll try to explain what is happening as requested.

Over a month ago and I cant remember when I started to get a condition I have since found out is called "dropped foot". Physio thought it was just that the tendon called tibialis anterior was wasted from non use. Have been working hard at improving it. About a month ago, I tried to move a table on the deck by bracing and pushing. Now this may or may not have anything to do with anything because as soon as I started I realised that it was not a smart thing to do and stopped. But, from this point on my ankle started to make a noise when I walked. Now I am not sure whether it was a noise that you can hear or just something that resonated through my body. Anyways, I knew it was probably not good.

Told the physio and he told me not to panic and worry the surgeon. Talked to friends who told me to worry so I emailed the surgeon and he rang me the same day and put me back on crutches and in the aircast until he could see me two days later just in case the prosthesis in my ankle was damaged.

Xray showed no damage to prosthesis but he could feel/hear the noise I was talking about and he was worried that a spur might be forming and that the spur could rupture the abovementioned tendon so he sent me for an ultrasound and a CT scan.
Which as previously described happened yesterday.

Got a call this morning from surgeon's office and was told I needed to come in this afternoon and see him. So off I trundled after work and evetually got into see him late this afternoon, after 6. While I was sitting in the waiting room his receptionist asked me to fill out the paper work for admittance to hospital on Monday morning. Bit of a shock. When I eventually saw the dr he explained to me about the operation which is longwinded and boring and the prognosis is not good. Dont know how long I will be in hospital for but definitely not day surgery as I was hoping for. Then 6 weeks in plaster, 4 weeks in air cast all non weightbearing and then still 2 weeks of not being about to drive. In total 3 months before I can drive again.

Think I have run the full range of emotions since 6 pm tonight. Disbelieving, angry and despairing. Another Christmas in plaster. Six weeks school holidays wasted yet again. Bloody crutches - which are difficult with the arthritis in my arms and hands and make me ache all over.

Oh and this was probably all caused by the rheumatoid arthritis and the another tendon in my foot, tibialis posterior while not ruptured is not looking good.

If you google ruptured tibialis anterior then it gives a pretty good description of what is happening if I have not explained it well.

So many things to do of the next three days. Cancel Jess's birthday dinner. Cancel other doctor appointment. Cancel hairdressers. I have to try and do all my Christmas shopping this weekend. I will have to also go to work to finalise the end of year reports and organise things for next year.

I had better go to bed and take a sleeping pill as I am starting to get angry again.

On a brighter note, Gareth is fine. Took car straight to insurance assessor and they have written it off and he will get more for it than if he traded it in. He has a hire car for a week as part of his insurance.

Signing out now. Dont know when I am back but back I will be.

This Week so far

Well had the ultrasound and ct scan done yesterday.

Not good I think. The tibialis anterior tendon has ruptured. Another operation soon if it is not too late already. Surgeon's office has rung me this morning and moved up my appointment from next Wednesday to tonight. So when I finish work (I have had so much time off lately new boss must think he has got a crock) I have to go home and pick up films and a CD from yesterday and head back down to surgeons office for meeting. At least I know the way there now and wont get lost - not like yesterday - but that is another story. How many times can I person get lost in one day and seem to cause so much havoc on the road? It was a wonder I didnt feature on the traffic report!

While talking to the doctors office this morning, son rang. On his way to credit union had had an accident and thinks he has virtually written off his car. Thankfully he is okay and so is the person he hit. He is driving his car home and we will work it out from there. I can replace his car but I cant replace him so I am grateful.

Tomorrow I am going to the funeral of my sister's partner's son. Such a waste. 32 years old and a drug and alcohol addict. Had an epiliptic fit and fell and hit his head. Massive head injuries and never regained consciousness. They turned off his life support last Thursday and he died Friday morning. P is such a lovely man and this was his only child.

Jess has lent me her GPS so that I can find the crematorium without any trouble and am not late.

I am finding that as I get older I am becoming more hesitant about driving in areas that I am not familiar with. I remember older friends going through this and could never understand it. Part of the problem for me is that Jess will drive me whenever she is available so I think that might be affecting my confidence. Anyway, not going to let this happen. I am going to buy my own GPS so I know at least where I am going and what lane I should be in.

Anyway, in case I dont get back to report on outcome of drs appt before the weekend arrives, have a great one.