Friday, December 30, 2005

How Girlie are you Quiz

You Can Hang With the Guys and the Girls

You've struck a good balance between girlie and laid back.
You can keep it casual but when you dress up, you are as girly as the next girl.


Hey I think I've done this right for a change. Thanks Tina.

Everything going well with foot except Mark is getting progressively grumpier with all that he has to do around the house. I sometimes wonder who he thinks does all this stuff normally... the fairies.

OK guys next time I mention that I am thinking of having foot surgery remind me of this Christmas/New Year period or make sure that the children have left home and therefore most of the husband causing stress have left as well. Silly isn't it?

Take care.

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Why Do I Do This?... and How Can I Stop This?

Lying around gives you lots of time to think and ask questions of yourself.

Why do I always wait until I hit rock bottom before I do the push off from the bottom (curtail my excesses), get tired and sink again? Then it all starts again.

Why?

Is it all too hard, do I forget how good it feels not to be fat, am I addicted to food - especially the food that is not good for me.

Some conclusions:
1. There is no secret to being slim
2. Start slowly (which is hard because that is when I am the most enthusiastic).
3. Be honest about what I eat.
4. Persevere.
5. Work out the best food plan for me and my lifestyle.
6. Go easy on myself.
7. An exercise plan that combines cardio/resistance is the best for me.
8. I mustn't cut my food intake too severely because my body tends to think that it is starving.
9. Prepare myself - research research research!
10. Don't blame my genes.
11. Dont overdo the exercise.
12. Understand that I will lose a lot at the beginning but the weight loss will even out and plateau.
13. Dont compare myself to others.
14. Dont obsess over what I perceive to be my problem points.
15. Visualise me when I am slimmer, healthier etc etc.
16. Mix up my diet and exercise so that my body doesn't know what is going to happen next.
17. Question why I want to reward bad days/moments with food.
18. Remind myself to STOP and think before proceeding along that pathway.

I know I can do this but I don't know I can maintain this. 2006's goal for me will be maintenance.

Friday, December 23, 2005

Merry Christmas

Doctor's visit went well. He removed stitches from foot that is black and blue and swollen and put steristrips on. No other bandages just a sock now. Mark came with me but we have different memories of what the doctor actually said so I am going to ring this morning and just double check. Dont have to go back to see him until 25th January.

Walking with crutches has not improved a great deal - my hands, shoulders and right leg are quite sore after dr visit due to the amount of distance I had to walk to get there. Mark dropped me off as near as he could and went and parked the car while I waited at a bus stop. Dr has signed a form so that we can apply for a disability parking sticker (god I feel old).

On the way home he stopped and bought a live christmas tree which is still sitting in the loungeroom undecorated as no one has had time to do it. Jess has now finished work for the year so she may have time today or tomorrow - hopefully before people arrive on Sunday.

Apparently plans for us to go to Queensland for a couple of weeks are still steaming ahead. Girlfriend rang yesterday with the suggestion that perhaps we could all go to the Magic Millions (horserace) but I must have sounded doubtful because she rang back 10 mins later and said that after talking to her DH they decided not to bother. I did say that I didnt mind it if they went and took Mark but she said no. I feel like a party pooper but then again if I had my way I would also not be going to Queensland. Tackling strange bathrooms on one leg is not fun.

I am so looking forward to the New Year. Not wishing this year away but hopefully I will be up and while not exactly running, back at the gym and walking Lucy in the wonderful mornings again. Thinking I may somehow be back at WW either next Thursday or the following Thursday (I think I will aim for the second thursday).

While I dont think I have gone overboard in the last week I have not been watching what I eat or tracking either. I find it too hard to constantly have to ask someone else to do things for me. When Mark went grocery shopping the other day asked him to buy me some WW meals as I thought that this would be easier for me. Best intentions aside - he bought me Lean Cuisine all fish meals (no vegies). Thought they were the same. Not to worry - fish is good for me. I have eaten a few choccies lately - Jess is a preschool supervisor and received a lot of choccies from the children and parents - she also has a stronger willpower than me. Friends dropped around with freshy baked scones yesterday - oh I could go on and on but I am stopping here.

Congratulations to dear Jodie - I am so pleased for you and your husband. Keep well and safe.

To everyone else, thank you for the support you have given me in the last couple of months - as I said before I am so looking forward to the new year. I am enthused again.

Merry Christmas and will talk to you next week.
:o)

Monday, December 19, 2005

I Hate Crutches

Im home alone today - everyone has gone to work. This should be interesting. The plastic chair is in the shower recess, Jess has made my lunch (vegemite sandwiches)and left all her "Sex in the City" DVDs for me to watch.

The op was very good I think. A bit of pain on Friday (nuked with drugs) and that is all. I have so many bandages on my foot it looks like a rugby ball. In hospital, the physio and I agreed that I failed crutches. I hop instead of gliding. Going up stairs is a real worry but going down isnt too bad. I kind of wish I could have stayed in hospital longer - everything was a bit easier there as the bathroom, bed etc are set up for sick people (although I know Im not really sick). It was just easier.

The surgeon visited me on Saturday morning before I came home. They were able to take the bone for the bone graft from my foot rather than from my hip which meant less pain. Also as well as a general anesthatic I had an ankle block which didnt wear off for over 12 hours and negated a lot of the initial pain.

Im afraid my goldfish is treading water at the moment. Im at the mercy of my family and I dont want to put Mark under anymore stress than he already is under. He cleaned, washed and shopped on the weekend. I know it is good for him to realise what I do, rather than come home and find it all done, but he just gets grumpy which in itself is stressful.

On a brighter note, I got a letter from Weight Watchers last week or the week before letting me know about the new "No Count" system and also I received my copy of the latest mag through the post. Once again this has inspired me to think about going back to WW sometime next month. I am also interested in the e-tools concept. I have been subscribing to the american weight watchers for a while now and am curious about it.

My gym membership is on hold for 6 weeks but hopefully I can get back into it before I go back to work in late January/early February.

I see the Dr on Wednesday to take the stitches out and then hopefully it will only be another 3 or 4 weeks before I am up and about. Have to flex my operated foot continually so that the achilles tendon doesnt shorten otherwise I wont be able to walk when the bandages do eventually come off for good. Mark is taking me to work on Wednesday for the Christmas lunch plus I have to process the pays for the casuals. There are stairs involved so not looking forward to arriving.

Oh well, I'll read a few posts and then attempt to have my shower without killing myself.
:o)

Friday, December 09, 2005

Im in a Holding Pattern

Hi guys, this may be my last blog for a while because I have had to stop taking my arthritis medication last Monday because of the impending op and I am slowly seizing up. Just about every joint is aching and some are starting to swell. And here was I thinking that the anti-inflammatories didnt really do anything. My right hand is the worse swelling-wise.

With everything that is going on at the moment I forgot about weigh in last night. I wont be able to go next week because I will be in hospital so goodness knows when I will be back in the swing on things.

So, I am officially going into a holding pattern until my life returns to normal. But I will still be reading everyones posts, continuing to be inspired by you all and I will keep in touch as much as I can. Once I can go back on the meds I should be okay again and then I have to work out an exercise routine for a person who cant walk or drive at least until the end of January.

Once I am up and off again, I will be back to Tai Chi, Pilates and Body Balance plus the gym 3 times a week and two walks around my neighbourhood a week to check out everyones housesa and gardens.

My friends are plotting how to get me a wheelchair so that I can go out with them on New Years Eve and Jess wants me to get one too so we can go shopping together. She has a vision about taking me into any shop she wants to and I wont be able to walk out but the image of that shopping expedition seems a bit pathetic to me so I think I will stay at home and plot my pre-recovery and post recovery.

Everyone, have a wonderful stressfree Christmas and New Year.
May Santa bring you everything your hearts desire or that you need.
Be kind to yourselves and if you have a lapse dont beat yourselves up, move on.
Talk to you all soon
:o)

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Christmas is coming

It's hot and I havent gone to the gym as planned as I was late leaving work and it is Jess' actual 21st today and I have to cook spag bol plus friends coming to drop in more presents and drink champers. Mark coming home early from work to be master of ceremonies. (He asked yesterday how long this birthday actually goes on for.) We've had 4 pre-birthday days, today is the actual and then apparently there are post-birthday days. LOL.

Work is very hectic at the moment still but come Friday it should start to settle down and then I just have to finish everything in three days before I'm off to my health spa (sorry,I meant hospital) to put my feet up literally. Note to self: get crutches organised. Asked at work today if they would consider installing an inclinator so that I could come to the Christmas party. Might just have to sit down on the grass and have people serve me down there if I cant manage the stairs.

Food wise - this week has been more off the rails than normal. You'd think it was my birthday the amount of cake I have eaten.

Have to get my Chrissie shopping done this weekend. Jess wants an iPod for Christmas but I looked at them on the web and they are way too expensive. Mind you I have one but it has been no end of trouble so I am going to try and talk her into a MP3 player. I know the iPods look cute but I really dont think they are all that reliable (from personal observations only). Garet wanted a season ticket to the Waratahs next year so that was easy. Now just have to get something for Mark and stocking fillers for the kids (they still insist Santa is real), have ordered the ham, Mark will do the seafood and I guess anything else that needs doing.

Ive got to stop buying tops in young people's shops. The sizing seems to be out to billyo. Goodness knows, how the teenagers with weight problems feel trying on clothes in these places - they probably feel even more of a failure because the shops dont have their size. What they dont realise is that the sizing is wacko. Or is it just me. I can fit into a medium or a size 12 most of the time now but the other day I had to take back 2 medium sized tops to "Cotton On" and exchange them for 2 larges and they just fit comfortably. Not good for the ego I can tell you.

Might go for a swim now, there is a westerly blowing and poor Lucy is a puddle on the ground behind my chair. Housework to do before I do though.
Hope everyone has had a good day
:o)
PS - Philippa, cant post a comment on your site. It might be my computer, gremlins or the heat who knows. Loved your photos.

Monday, December 05, 2005

It's Over

Still really busy at work but just had to let you all know that the party went really really well. Everything turned out perfect on the night and everyone had a ball.

The venue was wonderful, the staff great and food and grog flowed all night. The music was good (Jess burned CDs - Young music and old music) everyone danced and sang badly both young and old.

It was a really magic night and she got some awesome gifts and even though it cost a bomb it meant no cleaning up or work after the party. Once we paid and left that was it.

I was feeling really down on Friday - in the heat - had to drive to NOrth Sydney to get cakes (the cupcake cake on the stand I got over the internet was a BIG hit) took me nearly 3 hours and I was just about dead when I got home. Venue rang me to tell me that there was a party next door on the same night with a band and I thought oh great. When we got down to hotel on Saturday the band next door was setting up and it was really noisy and I did ask would it be possible for them to turn the sound down and the manager said she would ask them because it was loud in our bar but really loud in the bar they were working in. Anyway, to tell you the truth we didnt hear from them again. I dont know why but it all worked out in the end. My speech (which took me a year to write) went really well.

Weigh in on Thursday night was still the same again. No change. I seem to be on a bit of a plateau at the moment but I did not exercise last week so that could explain it. Back to the gym today.

My middle sister was told by her doctor last week that she was at least 10 kilos overweight (I think probably more). Her blood pressure is very high. I have been trying to get her to do something about it for nearly a year now. I love her dearly, and she was saying the other night at the party what she eats and how much walking she does and it does sound as if she is trying to do the right thing but it may be that her metabolism has slowed right down (which I know is not fair) or she is not being entirely honest about what she eats. She asked me the other night whether I thought she was fat and I could only look her in the eye and tell her that I loved her very much and it might be a good idea to lose a little weight. I dont want to hurt her feelings as she is very sensitive (menopausal too) and she would take offence.

I am so glad the 21st party is over. Jess' actual birthday is on Wednesday and she has requested spag bol for dinner (we offered to take her out but she said that we had spent enough money on her already). Mark has got out the bottle of Dom Perignon 1993 vintage champagne and the Tiffany champagne flutes (all given to us be a client) for this special occasion.

Thanks to everyone for kind thoughts. Hopefully I will be able to use my laptop in hospital so I can keep up with everyone. Havent had time to read your blogs lately and once I get over the backlog of work both here and at home I will be back in full swing.
Take care
:o)

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Plan A or is it B

News not so good. Have now dislocated the joint next to the broken bone in foot and that too requires an operation. Plus surgeon has now extended my hospital stay from 2 days to 3 and possibly 4 because I may need a bone graft and they will take this from my hip (another operation within an operation) and this will actually be more painful than the foot operation and I think he said will take longer to heal. I am now looking at 6 weeks on crutches.

But to look on the bright side, my hip measurement might be marginally smaller and I might have to resort to a granny bike to terrorise the neighbourhood.

Starting to really not look forward to this.

Here I go again - sooking. It is really nothing compared with other peoples problems and woes.

Going home soon to catch up on housework.

Prep for end of financial year seems to be progressing well - tomorrow is rollover day. Not worried just tired.

Which brings me to another observation: For most of this term have been getting by on 6 hours sleep a night. Dont seem to be able to turn the light off until around 11 especially since daylight saving started and then up again at 5.30. Am really going to have to start trying to get into bed by 9:30 pm. Trouble is Mark is usually so late home from work we end up having dinner late and that seems to throw the whole night out.

I think I am going to have to start serving dinner at 7 for whoever is there. It apparently is not good when you are trying to lose weight to eat after 7:30 pm. And another thing, and this relates only to me - you all know how I love my wine (or is it whine) well, Ive noticed that the next morning after I have had wine (whether it is one or two or three small glasses) I am extra tired. After 21st on Saturday am going to conduct a little experiment next week.

1. In bed by 9:30 pm if possible
2. No alcohol (except on Saturday nights when I can sleep in the next day)
3. Dinner at 7 pm at latest

That mice and men plan quote comes to mind again but I will try. I have been reading others plans for December/January and I am enthused which is the really great thing about this forum. It keeps re-invigorating me.

I feel better already - Sorry I was such a downer at the beginning.
Was going to be an unhappy face but I feel better now so signing off....
:o)

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Bun time is fun time - not

Thanks for all your kind comments.

Today has been sort of better except for the bun that boss bought for morning tea. Started off doing the right thing and declining and he said I saw you eating sweet biscuits at morning tea yesterday. I explained about how I shouldnt have and how I beat myself up about it all day and missed desert last night and afternoon tea to bring myself in under the points and then HAD a very small piece of bun. Sometimes I am hopeless. More wine tonight. Elderly neighbour with a weight problem called in with pressie for Jess and I asked her if she wanted a drink thinking she would say no but guess what, she said "I shouldnt but I will" so I opened a new bottle of verdelho and we had a drink and chatted. My points were slightly over without taking in the bun because I couldnt estimate how many points were in it. Oh well.

BUT, this is a long story, I came home to get changed before I caught the train to Chatswood to get my foot xrayed. I tried on my usual pants and they were very loose so I tried on one of those special pair of pants that Im sure we all have in our cupboard that hasnt fit for ages (if ever)and tried them on. I could do them up! but the muffin dough that was going on above the waist band was quite hilarious so back to the loose pants and a bit of comfort.

Tomorrow is the end of rollover preparation at work (end of financial year in education) and everything is kind of going to plan.

First I have to see the foot surgeon at 8 am.

Wish me luck!
:o)

Monday, November 28, 2005

Just one of those days

Couldnt read or post today at work (I know I shouldnt) because it was really busy and I think the stress is starting to get to everyone and I didnt want someone walking into my office and finding me slacking off by updating my blog. So here I am at home trying to do it before everyone else gets home and I nearly forgot to put on the leg of lamb for dinner.

My photo looks really strange. I am smiling my Bronwyn Bishop square smile. I wish I would stop doing that and also tucking my chin back into my neck so that it looks like I have three chins. Anyway its up now and thanks to Margaret and her clear and concise instructions I nearly managed to do it by myself. Had to call daughter in because I thought I had done something really wrong at one stage and was getting all despondent but it was nothing and I was told to just calm down etc etc and she told me what to do and - voila! there I was.

Had one good day out of the last three. Saturday was okay and two thirds of Friday was fine but dinner on FRiday night was a bit over the top.

Yesterday was the Hunter Valley in the pouring rain with three very charming French people and Mark (the charming Aussie) of course. We visited three wineries where we are known (maybe not a good thing to be known at wineries) and had a lovely lunch at Amanda's. I am amazed that these people speak English so well and a couple of other languages as well. Are we that insular that we only speak English and expect everyone to understand us! Makes me want to learn another language - eith French or Italian I think. Something to put on my wish list.

Tai Chi only has two or three more lessons. Am I ever going to be able to remember it all? I wish I could video tape Jorge so that I could practise more at home.

Am going to try to talk someone into helping me streak my hair tonight. Have decided that I dont like mousy and want to be blonde again. I can imagine the sighs when I ask but someone will eventually help me Im sure.

Everything is coming together for Jess's party. Cake stand arrived this morning - it has to be stuck together so hopefully Mark will help out because he will approach it slowly and methodically (afterall he is an engineer) and not like a bull at a gate (me) and end up stuffing it up.

Ordered the camera we are giving Jess for her birthday on Friday morning over the phone and it was here when I got home from work on Friday afternoon. Very impressed.

Am a bit disappointed with my family. I know it is a busy time of year but we told everyone 6 months ago that Jess's party was on the 3rd for that very reason and now the only people coming from my side are my middle sister and her fiancee (engagement happened last Wednesday) and maybe Mum but am expecting her to dip out at any moment as she thinks midnight is far too late to be out which is fair enough too. Everyone has declined for various reasons, all legitimate but nonetheless disappointing.

Now for the owining up - ate 3 biscuits at morning tea this morning for no other reason then it was cold and rainy, I thought I was hungry and who knows what else. I would have eaten more but my boss took the biscuit jar down his end of the table - thank heavens for small mercies. Have just looked up the point value and it is 5 altogether. That's a quarter of my daily allowance. Damn - what was I thinking? or obviously not thinking. Oh well, write it down and move on.

Better get on with all the housework I didnt do on the weekend. I feel like a mouse on a mousewheel - constantly running and getting no where.
:o(

Friday, November 25, 2005

Power of positive thinking

Okay everything is finally organised - I think - and Im feeling slightly calmer. I actually think it might all come together.

Looking at myself this morning got me thinking about how things change, seemingly with every major decade change. I cant be specific about 30 because I dont really remember (something that happens after 50 - memory loss) and I was in the middle of having children but I remember at 40 everything seemed to drop, literally. LOL. I found that truly amazing.

And now in my 50's Ive lost my waist (although I am trying to get a bit back). I know it is probably perfectly normal but I dont feel old. My mind still trys to tell me Im not old but my body and in particular my skin is definitely yelling old at me.

Brought home last night when I downloaded my photo (I am getting there, Margaret has given me instructions on how to put it in my profile - I think it was "photo editing for dummies" - my words not hers, she is much too gracious) and I got a close up look at my skin in the photo. Bugger when did that happen and are my mirrors lying to me?! I probably dont stand close enough to them to see the damage and my eyesight is not what it used to be. LOL.

Weigh in last night showed no loss or gain which is okay I suppose because I have been really BAD this week, sometimes letting the black cloud descend (see Michelle it happens to all of us).

Read my WW book this morning and it is about "Think yourself slim". Something that was written was "You've come too far to be told what to do by a bar of chocolate (insert icecream, glass of wine, lasagne in there). The advice is to plan ahead and
picture yourself in control of situations and something I really have to practice is slowing down my eating. I eat so fast and am always the first finished. I dont know why Im like this but it could have something to do with not feeling I have time to waste by sitting still and eating.

Anyway this week is THINK POSITIVE. Lots on - visitors in Sydney from France because of new plane so Mark thinks we may take them to the Hunter on Sunday for a day visit. Think Positive - I really dont need to taste the wines as I know most of them backwards up there so maybe just a sip here and there. Lunch will be as simple as I can find and no dessert. It actually will be nice to be up there in summer when the vines are in leaf as we usually go in Winter when everything is bare (nice weather for a fire and a red).

Pre-op X-rays and surgeon visits next week, I have to drive to North Sydney to pick up cake on Friday (havent driven to North Sydney in yonks but when I looked at the street directory it all came back to me so I think I will be fine).

I am probably taking a break from the gym sessions starting today as it will just allow me and extra hour in each day to do other things so my stress levels will go down but I will be back at the gym on Monday week for a few more visits before the op. Of course I will still be going to Tai Chi and maybe pilates.

Anyway, postive thoughts:
I can lose weight
I will eat healthily today

I will repeat these thoughts 20 times so that these thoughts become habit.

Following Margaret's instructions I will try to get my picture up and running tonight or tomorrow.
Have a great weekend everyone
:o)

Thursday, November 24, 2005

Withdrawal

I am suffering withdrawal symptons by not being able to read other blogs. I cant believe how hectic it is a work, home etc at the moment. I really shouldnt be doing this but what the hell.

The stress of a daughter who somehow thinks that everything is going to just fall into place next Saturday week and a husband who is complaining about the lack of organisation while not having done anything to help, is starting to tell. Have spent the last hour trying to organise a cake for daughter who doesnt want your plain old run of the mill birthday cake but a cup cake cake (you know stack of cup cakes arranged in tiers). Found someone willing to hire me a stand but they were out in the western suburbs and out of my time line although very nice and helpful. Have ended up buying one from a Melbourne company who will post it to me today and I should get it by Monday. Everyone cross your fingers now! Next the bloody cupcakes - have found a bakery at North Sydney who will make 80 for me for $140.00. (The cheapest so far). This means that I will have to take next Friday off and drive to North Sydney to pick the cakes up if this meets with madam's approval. The colours are probably going to be unacceptable. Asked her about balloons last night and was told that she expects them but doesnt have time to get them. She has other 21sts to go to etc etc.

Sorry about the rave but I am being stretched to the limit at the moment.

Luckily the boss is out of the office for a few hours so I should be able to get a few things done (other than personal things) today without constant interruptions and bright ideas.

Sadly, am not expecting a great weigh in tonight. Was trundling along okay until last nights discussions about the cake with grumpy husband and daughter. Then proceeded to eat some of the leftover lasagne from their dinner, 2 glasses of wine and two (two Suzy) Bulla ice creams. All the time telling myself I was an idiot for letting everything get to me yet again and compensating in the worst way. I know I know but I was not listening to the little voice of reason. I dont think a little voice is enough, maybe it should have joined the yelling to get through.

Biggest loser final shows are on tomorrow night in Sydney just in case anyone missed the TV guide. They are being really sneaky with this show (for reasons only known to the programmers) and we nearly missed the one that they showed on Sunday night rather than Monday night but luckily noticed it in the TV guide in time.

Jess has just rung and she is happy with the cakes and stand (well at the moment anyway) so just have to work out the balloons, food and drinks and Ive finished. Hopefully will have time to purchase a new dress that doesnt make me look too lumpy.

Had an early call from Mum this morning. I think that she is venturing further and further into lala land. She is coming to the 21st which is good although she will have a horrible time as usual, but she wanted to speak to Jess so I work her up and it was to ask her why she kept sending Mum SMSs about cleaning her room etc. Jess had no idea what she was talking about but to her credit remained bright and cheery throughout the conversation assuring her that it wasnt her. Will check her phone myself when I next see her because I dont think she knows how to delete messages - she barely knows how to use the phone.

Middle sister got the redundancy she wanted yesterday so she is happy for the moment. She is off to Centrelink to see what she is entitled to - pensionwise. Doesnt know what the package is yet so hopefully it is good. Cross your toes this time. LOL.

This was meant to be a short post - sorry!
:o| (me clenching my teeth)

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Son For Sale

I couldnt believe what happened when I arrived home from the gym yesterday afternoon after work. Gareth's car was in the driveway and I could hear Lucy inside going ballistic because she heard me in the garage. Opened the door, hit by small ball of fur, called out hello - no answer. Went and opened his door - no one in there. Back door open but screen door shut - went out on deck and called out - no answer. Thought, is he hiding from me? Rang his mobile - with his girlfriend on their way to Port Stephens for a couple of days holiday. HE LEFT THE HOUSE OPEN AND THE DOG STUCK INSIDE! Honestly, if I could have reached him I would have happily strangled him at that moment. I sometimes wonder what planet he is from!

Okay, now I have got that off my chest back to normal. Decided not to mention this to Mark as it would make it worse and he has enough stress from work as it is.

He was home early from work today as he had to go to the doctors and get stitches removed from both arms where she had removed some sun cancers last week. They have turned out to be cancerous but she assured him that they got it all. The doctor has only been checking his arms and hands because they are quite noticeable on them but no where else so I am thinking of booking him into my dermatoligist to have a full body check. But you know some men really have to be pushed to do things like this and he is one of them. More nagging to follow.

Amended my tracker last night to not include Friday, Saturday and Sunday for this week as once again I have overindulged. At the moment it doesnt seem to matter too much because I am good for the other 5 days and it seems to be working okay but I know that this fairytale cannot continue much longer.

I really have to face this problem I have on the weekends. I love nibblies and of course my wine (both in copious quantities). We have so much wine that needs to be tasted (LOL) and Im thinking of joining another winery, Fox Creek Wines at McLaren Vale, because of their dog, Shadow. Oh damn, side tracked again talking about wine.

Anyway, its Tuesday again - Folk Art tonight but I dont think I will be painting. Need to finish off the crosswords and puzzles I have completed to post tonight. They wont mind - I think they are used to me doing other things. It is kind of my time out of the house and I tend to do things I have trouble finding the time for at home.

My sister has just rung, the company she works for closed two regional offices completely yesterday, and virtually closed hers as well. Her partner was made redundant but she wasnt (she wanted to be). There are only 5 people left in her office. They have diverted all the phones to Sydney so she in uncontactable on her work number and she is finding it hard to do her job. She sounds depressed. Poor thing.

These are difficult times and my weight problems are really quite minor compared to other peoples problems.
:o)

Monday, November 21, 2005

Weekend happenings

Aren't I clever - I managed to post two similar posts last week -heaven knows how.

Wine at Trivia on Friday night was not a problem because I was apparently the designated driver. Being the designated driver is not fun especially when most people are drinking copious quantities and getting silly. (Dont they know that's my job!) BUT I scored another adorable teddy bear out of the night. Mark was getting crotchety because it was so noisy and he is slightly deaf (from working with aeroplanes for eons)and the more alcohol he consumes the more pedantic he gets about the answers even when he is wrong. His favourite saying used to be "I thought I was wrong once but I was wrong" or something like that. Actually gave me a compliment on the way home saying I would have to be the best woman driver he has known (believe me this is a big compliment from him).

Tai Chi was wonderful again on Saturday morning even if I was very tired from Friday night. The movement is progressing and getting more complicated which is really taxing on this poor old memory. I also have trouble telling the difference of my left and right with Jorge telling me "the other left" or "the other right". I will be sad when classes finish but I will be back next year for more. It is such a pleasure to drive through the lovely leafy suburbs early in the morning to get there.
Afterwards it is back to the gym for leisurely breakfast and then on to pilates class.

Eventually got home after 1 and sat down to finish my book so that I could take it back to the library before 5 and promptly fell asleep. Woke with a start knowing I had to be somewhere but couldnt remember where. Oh the library. Anyway, I looked up the status of the book on the internet and found that nobody else had reserved it and I rang the library and explained that it wouldnt let me renew it over the internet because it was a new book but nobody else had reserved that copy and they very kindly renewed it for me for another 2 weeks. Stopped panicking and relaxed. Mind you I havent read anything since.

I wont finish my crosswords this month because I will have to post them on Tuesday so I will just send what I have completed rather than everything for the first time ever.

Did some gardening yesterday, planted out the rhododendrum that had been struggling in a pot for years into the garden, moved a small camellia. Lucy was intent on helping me dig the holes so I have had to put rocks around each plant to keep her out as I cant tell you how many plants she has relocated over the last two years. She also likes plastic pots, with or without plants, so I have also learnt not to put them within her reach. Lucy is my beautiful dog not my daughter.

We decided to stay home last night so I have a few wines and some pesto and my beloved jatz and dont forget a few sundried tomatoes. Oh well, I was good the rest of the day.

Margaret thanks for the warning about the rebound, I read your comment in the midst of rebounding. Made me stop - thanks again.

Have posted my measurements (finally remembered). As usual the cms are coming off my top half and not the middle bit where I am storing my extra food for next winter (the analogy of squirrels and nuts comes to mind) but I will keeping slogging away at it. The gym sessions are making this area more toned but no less bigger.

I am still reading about how I add my picture to my profile. Hopefully it will all become clear soon instead of gobbledegook. LOL.
:o)

Friday, November 18, 2005

Another Weigh-in bites the dust

I somehow managed to lose another 800g this week. Goodness knows how. But anyway yay!!

Bought some dim sims yesterday and I am going to have some tonight with some stirfried vegs before we go out to Trivia night with friends. Hopefully that will keep me away from the nibblies that are going to be on each table. Now just got to address the problem of wine.

Yesterday went I got home from work I was starving so I had 2 small corn cobs (or cobettes), microwaved with salt and pepper. It was really yummy, filling and I think Point free.

Will try to update everything over the weekend and catch up with peoples posts too.
:o)
PS finally got around to getting son to take a picture yesterday - mind you my supposedly grown up daughter was making signs behind me but I'll try to crop her hand out and work out how to put it on my post this weekend too.

My voyage of discovery continues, albeit slowly.

Another Weigh-in bites the dust

I somehow managed to lose another 800g this week. Goodness knows how. But anyway yay!!

Bought some dim sims yesterday and I am going to have some tonight with some stirfried vegs before we go out to Trivia night with friends. Hopefully that will keep me away from the nibblies that are going to be on each table. Now just got to address the problem of wine.

Yesterday went I got home from work I was starving so I had 2 small corn cobs (or cobettes), microwaved with salt and pepper. It was really yummy, filling and I think Point free.

Will try to update everything over the weekend and catch up with peoples posts too.
:o)

Thursday, November 17, 2005

Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oi Oi Oi

Okay Ive checked some blogs and found out what people are up to.

I think Ive just offended a friend a little bit. She rang for obviously a long long chat but Thursdays is really busy (Im doing this in my morning tea break)and I had to ring off. Will ring her back this afteroon when I get home and suggest afternoon tea. She has retired (although she is really too young to call it retired) and I think she has forgotten how busy work can get.

It is wonderful that the Socceroos have won I know but I did try to go to bed last night reasonably early but the noise from the family room (husband and daughter) made that impossible. Not to mention the fact that they came in and jumped on me when it finished. They were so excited. Mark is hopeless to watch sport with on the TV or even at the game but I think the TV is worse. He yells at the TV continually. I have explained that they cant hear him but I think it makes him feel better. LOL.

Got a duster sample in the mail yesterday, I think called "Grab-It". It is really good for the venetians but I think I filled it up in about 2 minutes. It went from a fluffy white mop type thing to a very sad grey dustladen mop type thing in no time at all. I hang my head in shame suzy.

My sister has just rung. She works for a certain telecommunications company in a regional office and thinks that on Monday she and the rest of the staff may be out of a job. It is being done fairly sneakily and they have only found out what might happen through a slip up. She is not too worried in fact is looking forward to redundancy but there are others that rely on the job. This world can be crappy sometimes. Anyway, I hope that they are wrong.

Jess has to go and have more eye tests done as part of her police application. It is looking more and more like it is not going to eventuate but she is hanging in there. She is nothing if not tenacious.

Weigh in tonight. Not sure how I am going to go as I have had several blow-outs this week but hopefully I will not have put on any extra weight.

Further to the toothache I had a couple of weeks ago - it is really strange. I stopped using the whitening toothpastes (both Colgate and Sensodyne) and reverted to just plain old toothache and the pain has just about gone. Now isnt that weird?
:o)

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Sleepy, Sneezy - I think I'm a Dwarf

Am feeling a bit lethagic today and have been quite sneezy lately too . Dont know what is wrong, am having trouble getting out of bed in the mornings and if it wasnt so busy at work I would be thinking about having a doona day. Today would have been a good doona day - cold, windy and rainy. Hope the lethagy isnt from daylight saving cos that means that I have a stacks more time to go before I start feeling jetlagged.

Have nearly finished my second crossword for this months competitions. Knowing my sisters they probably finished weeks ago. Oh well, neither of them work full time.

Have driven the new car to work for the third day in a row but probably will go back to my little zippy 121 tomorrow. When southerly came through yesterday Mark rang me to see how the car was as he had heard thunder and was worried about hail or falling branches. LOL. I enquired as to whether he would like me to take it home and garage it and bring mine back (lucky I live close) but sanity prevailed. He is hopeless with new things - paranoid is the word I think. Doesnt matter whether it is carpet, furniture or cars or who could forget the polished floors inspection. He is a dear man but can be a dingbat at times but then again, cant we all.

Yesterday was a bit of a disaster with the diet. Finding the afternoons hard again but I am going to the gym today after work so I wont be home alone in the kitchen for as long. Dinner was a long and interesting time last night with the entire family finally in one place at one time. Lots of laughter and a few glasses of wine (me). Everyone is so busy nowadays that it is hard to all sit down together.

After all my uhming and ahhing yesterday didnt go to folk art last night. P had a uni assignment to finish by today so we postponed our get together for a week. It was nice to stay home and watch Fraser (one of my favourites). Cant believe that next week is the last episode.

Caught up with Biggest Loser too last night (I tape lots). I felt so sorry for Matt when he voted Mark off. But doesnt Mark look great. I find it a really interesting show. Probably one of the few I watch.

Aside from the tiredness I feel great. I am going to take measurements tomorrow so I can see if I have lost any cms. This is exciting. Can I say just one thing, nothing against WW as I am following their diet plan again and it does work but I am getting more help and support from the bloggers and that is motivating me more to keep going.
So thanks to you all from the bottom of my heart. Because of you all I think I can do it this time.
:o)

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Shining On...

It is a lovely very hot morning this morning with a promise of a southerly change.

Jess has just rung and let me know that the last two or three invites have gone out. Will have to ring venue and find out what we have to do, probably just pay more money. She bought herself a VCR/DVD player for her bedroom last weekend so that has further reduced fights with her father over who watches what. We all have a TV now except Gareth who doesnt watch TV much anyway. Peace should reign in my household. Stupid isnt it?

Yesterday was a good food day although I forgot to fill out my tracker. I think the tracker is great but I am going to modify it a bit by adding a sugar column and an exercise column as both those items have maximum point limits and I think it would help me decide what to eat especially towards the end of the week and whether or not to get a bit more mobile.

Gym session was okay yesterday but I feel that I am getting a bit stale. I really miss walking with Lucy and checking out the neighbourhood. I really really miss running but I know I probably wont be doing that ever again except maybe on a treadmill.

My garden looks beautiful at the moment. The roses have really loved the rain but the humidity will do a lot of damage soon. The lawns are greening up (I have a lawn maniac for a husband)and everything is growing at a rate of knots. My lawn maniac is very tolerant as son is a greenkeeper who practices on our lawn, not always with great results.

Had a thought that I might not go to folk art tonight and stay home and read my book but I would miss the girls, the tea and the chatter so I will just have to read lots tomorrow and hey, if I dont finish it I will put my name down again so that I can finish it.

Happy thoughts to everyone today.
:o)

Monday, November 14, 2005

Life moves on

Sorry I have not been posting lately. I have been a little distracted but I just wanted to let everyone know that I really appreciated your kind thoughts.

We have been out a couple of times over the weekend and the diet kind of went by the board but Im back on track today. The trouble is when I do go off the diet it really doesn't agree with me.

Just about all the 21st invites are out - but not all of them. Heavens this child is driving me to distraction. Everyone is asking me what she wants and I have absolutely no idea.

I dont think I am going to finish my library book before it has to go back to the library so I will have to reserve it again and wait my turn and it doesnt look like I am going to get the crosswords finished this months.

I'm still time poor and it is getting to the busy end of the year. Mark wants to go to Queensland after Christmas and I will have to work out doctors appointments and whether I can sit in a car for long periods - I'll probably be okay. He has had some sun cancers cut out of his arms today, stitches and sent off for checking out.

Anyway,thanks to all you dear people out there. I have missed you.
:o)

Friday, November 11, 2005

A happy sad day

This is only a very short post. I weighed in at 68.6kgs - a loss of 900g. Yahoo!!!

It has been a very busy day - in a work at 7.30, then to the funeral - the service was very moving and went for 2 hours, then to the cemetry for the burial and then home to pick up food and back to friends home for the wake or celebration of their daughters life.

It was a huge funeral with not everybody fitting into the church.

I have come back to work to finish up a few things but the father has asked us to go back tonight so we probably will.

Such a sad, hectic day. Makes me count my blessings and hope that it never happens to me.

As you probably can see my weather pixie hasnt worked. Will try again tomorrow to rectify it. I really am a computer klutz.

:o)

Thursday, November 10, 2005

Letting Go

Have officially give up trying to do everything for this week (a big concession from this little control freak). I am working later today, back in earlier in the morning, then the funeral, then back to work to work late again - no time for gym or house cleaning this week. But who really cares - there are more important things like friends and family to think about.

Jess (daughter) has accepted a job offer at a different preschool for next year. She is so excited. She will be working 10 hour days but will get a day off a week and one rostered day off a month plus time to do her programming. So much better than where she works at the moment but she will miss her littlies.

I did 34 laps of the pool yesterday in about 10 minutes. Its only a normal home pool about 9m I think and towards the end there was a lot of gliding off and on the wall but I think it was nicer than sweating it out in the gym. Then one of Gareth's old school friends turned up. He has been in Tasmania for 4 years do a uni degree in marine biology and has now finished and come home. Well, I had to have a drink with him while we found Gareth and waited for him to come home (it was the social thing to do LOL). BUT with a little bit of juggling I still have managed to finish the week quite well. Although Margaret, I found myself sneaking food last night when I was cleaning up the kitchen (so sad) but at least I realised I was doing it and stopped.

Weigh in tonight. I feel better, dare I say slimmer. I will remeasure next week to see if I have lost any cms.

Weatherman saying bad storm on the way. Hope I get home in time to rescue Lucy the wonderdog from scary thunder. Off the check the radar and finish some more work.
:o)

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

A scorcher

It is so hot here today. I will be surprised if there are no bushfires reported.

I didnt go to the gym but came home to have a swim instead. If 30 mins breaststroke equals 6.5 points than I can surely keep it up for 10 mins which should earn me at least 2 points shouldnt it? Anyway it has to be more refreshing than the gym today.

I am swamped at work at the moment and also at home. That is entirely my fault. I have my days mapped out pretty much so that doesnt leave a lot of time for hiccups or deviations which in turn leads to stress (me). I now have three computers in my office while they wait to transfer my files to the new one which is a pain as it means that things have been moved and I cant find anything. I printed off some papers today and put them down somewhere - it took me most of the day to find where I had left them. (I know Im whinging but its been that sort of day.)

Foodwise Im doing fine this week - mainly because I dont have anything too fattening in the house (Suzy - I ate all the Bulla lite icecreams as predicted I would). Last night was the first time I have been to folk art and not heard the siren call of the biscuit plate which I am still finding amazing nearly 18 hours later.

But I still feel frumpy. I mustlook for my summer work uniform. It is probably just the heat. (There I go again! - Stop me please). Before my swim I am going to have a quick read of some blogs. They never fail to inspire me or make me laugh. Im so glad I found you all.
Cherish the good times and take care
:o)
Quote of the day: I'm glad my inner process hangs in with me. Sometimes I'm a slow learner.

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Time Out

I have been so busy at work this week. Arrived on Monday morning to find that the marine studies area had been broken into. They stole a fish tank and pumps and filters and heaters and did a lot of damage getting in so I spent all day yesterday trying to work out the "new" electronic notifying system that we have to use but have received no training in.

Have just had a phone call to let me know that a dear friends 16 year old daughter has just died in hospital. Apparently she was hit by a golf club on Sunday while playing golf.

That's all I can do today. My heart is breaking for this couple who are two of the nicest people I have ever met. This was their baby. Oh god.... sometimes it seems so unfair.
:o(

Edit: I dont know what is happening. Have just received an email to let me know that a work colleagues 18 year old daughter was killed on Saturday night coming home from a party. The world seems to be going to hell.....
Sorry to be so depressing - I am just so incredibly sad at the moment.

Saturday, November 05, 2005

Good movie watching weather

Went over points last night. Went to the Comedy Store. Boy was I running late to meet DH. By about 35 minutes. Couldnt contact him because he refuses to have a mobile phone - so I just got agitated. Went to pub but they said they would take about 20 minutes to get dinner and he said we didnt have time so walked down to cab rank and cabs were pulling up short to pick up passengers not at the rank, driving past with their lights on etc etc. At this point I felt like cutting my losses and going home but we eventually got a cab and ended up at the entertainment quarter. Met up with other friends, luckily we did, because we were on our way to the Hordern Pavillion but it wasnt there. Anyway it all turned out good but we didnt get home until midnight and I went straight to bed, make-up and all, because I knew that I had to get up early for Tai Chi. Anyway Ive been slightly off track all day but I should be back on track tomorrow.

Nice and cool and rainy today.

Watched a DVD "The Wedding Date" which was a perfect chick flick and a good ironing movie.

Got new book today from the library - the latest John Berendt book which off the top of my head I think is called "Falling Angels". Anyway I only have two weeks to read it so I had better get cracking.

Looking forward to tracking well this week.
:o)

Friday, November 04, 2005

Yo Yo girl

Weighed in last night at 69.5 so a loss of 500 grams which isnt too shabby but I would have liked more.

Moods swinging up and down - must be hormonal (at least I hope it is). Bit sad last night for whatever reason, I really dont know, so there are no more noughts and crosses left - ate everyone. Oh well.

At least I am back in the sixties again, even if it is just back in the sixties.

New computer just arrived. Really flash looking and the CD slot thingey (like the technical lingo, LOL) is on the side. It is the newest Mac I think. At the moment I have three computers in my office - hopefully the radiation wont affect me too badly.

Off to the comedy show at the Hordern Pavillion tonight with DHs work mates. We are having dinner at a pub near Central that a friend has been working on (actually two friends - one the architect and the other the interior designer) then catching a cab to Fox Studios which is great because it means less walking for me. Am going to wear my sneakies anyway and change into "going out" shoes when I get there. Hopefully getting a cab back to Central wont be a hassle.

If we are late home, T'ai Chi might be a struggle tomorrow but DH is playing golf early so he mightn't want to stay out late. The trouble is once he has a few drinks, he forgets how old he is and how tired he gets, and turns into the original little party animal. Quite funny to watch actually - but only if you are not married to him and want to go home.

If its a rainy weekend and I cant get into the garden I might follow M's example and clean out my wardrobe, or go to the local craft market and see if I can find a deep tray I can paint my santas on or Parklea markets and buy a new birdcage for Rosso and Spike. So many things to do so little time to do them - have a good one!
:o)

Thursday, November 03, 2005

Daughters

I've just read Philippa's post about teenage girls and obsessions with their weight. It was very thought provoking and made me think I may send it to a friend who is a food tech teacher at the local girls high school. Maybe she could use it to help these young women open their eyes. I am lucky that my daughter is naturally slim like her dad (at least for the moment) so I did not have the worry in her teenage years of her obsessing about her weight - puberty with its hormonal changes are hard enough both on the children and their families - without this extra pressure. I only just survived her puberty - I thought I had lost my beautiful daughter who had turned into a sullen, non communicative person but she has finally emerged again (or nearly). Cant stop her talking and telling us everybit of her day and her generosity and kindness of heart is humbling. She still has her moments but thankfully they are becoming less and less. So much so that when my husband was talking about our retirement the other day he mentioned moving to Western Australia - and my simple remark was "you are not taking me away from my daughter". She can move away from me but I will not move away from her. Anyway thank you Philippa for your insightful post.

Have 18 points left for today and weigh-in tonight. Will have to be very careful with points today as aside from some shopping I dont plan to do much exercise although I could go for a swim when I get home. I saw in the latest WW mag that breaststroke uses more points than freestyle which is lucky because my freestyle is not sustainable over long distances but I can do breaststroke for quite a while although perhaps not half an hour.

Speaking of the latest WW mag they have named the slimmer of the year and all the finalists. What an amazing bunch of people. It is an inspirational read.

The group that has been staying at work left this morning so I have been able to shut all the windows and doors and turn the airconditioning back on and the building is cooling down nicely. It is another hot and steamy day in Sydney and I dont think that we are going to get a storm tonight. They have promised one nearly every night but nothing has eventuated as yet.

DS dropped in yesterday afternoon to pay his sister her winnings before he spent them. He said his interview went well but it was just for the Rotary Apprentice of the Year which is across all trades, not the TAFE one. I am slightly confused about all this and he was still tired and emotional from a big cup day. He may not have been able to drink much at the track but I think he made up for it later in the night.

Finally got some of DD's 21st invitations posted this morning. Now hopefully people will reply by the designated date. Ive noticed over the last couple of years that people dont - is this a new trend? It is not just the young people either.

Received an invitation to a family wedding which is being held down at the beach before Christmas. Should be gorgeous but, on the invitation, rather than wedding presents they are asking for a contribution to pay for their honeymoon. A bridal register has been set up at a travel agency so that you can buy a gift certificate for them. It took me a while to get used to bridal registers but now I think they are okay and make life easier for me but I feel a little strange about this idea. I think I may be a bit oldfashioned. The couple have been living together for a while so they probably dont need any household goods so this is probably a good idea.

Oh well, back to work
:o)


Wednesday, November 02, 2005

Once, Twice, Three Times a Lady

Just managed to sneak in my points yesterday. On a visit to supermarket found noughts and crosses jube-type things. They looked quite big on the packet but when I opened them there are individual packs with little-bitty jubes. Anyway, a packet is 1 point so I included that. With just a little bit more tweaking I will get my points down to normal this week but I wont have any spare - drats. Went to folk art last night and was strong for the second week in a row. Took my own skim milk, had herbal for the second cuppa and valiantly resisted the biscuits. Its funny, I had just finished dinner when I went to folk art so hunger wasnt a problem, but I looked at those biscuits and knew that I could have polished off two or three of them no trouble even though I wasnt hungry. Anyway I didnt - woohoo for me (makes a change from earlier in the week).

I was so glad that Makybe Diva won yesterday. Didnt get to see it at 3 because the dentist didnt have a TV that I could see. DS rang and told me the results (he backed her) and I watched the race when I got home. I had tears in my eyes watching it. She is such a great horse. May she have a wonderful retirement.

Re visit to dentist - he couldnt find anything wrong with my teeth and gave me some sensodyne toothpaste to try. He packed the tooth with fluoride and said to wait and see if it settles down as he didnt want to start fiddling with the filling without knowing what was in store. I guess I will just wait and see if it does settle down. Actually he was a nice dentist, very young, but then everyone is very young to me lately.

Have just had a visit from a young water dragon. He climbed up the tree outside my window (so funny I could only see his knees on either side of the trunk) and then jumped on the roof.

My new computer is arriving at work tomorrow and the tech will come and install it on Friday. Everytime this happens there is a steep learning curve for me because everything seems to change. We use Macs at work which I love as they are so user friendly but I also have to use a PC for the finance program. I am going to install virtual PC on the Mac to see if that will make it any easier but I somehow doubt it.

Weigh in tomorrow night - looking forward to seeing if I have managed to reign in the excesses of the weekend. My poor goldfish on my ticker - maybe I should have made it a salmon swimming against the current LOL.

Lists are still working okay even though I got a bit testy last night about the perceived lack of help from the other people in the household but maybe it just comes down to me not explaining my needs clearly enough. I also tend to play the matyr a bit (hence the comments about "can anybody smell burning matyr" from the peanut gallery). Need to calm down. As I get more into T'ai Chi I intend to somehow get up earlier and practice it although I have reverted to getting up in the dark now daylight saving has started so maybe not for a little while yet. Oh goodness - who knows when and where I will be able to do this. One thing I do know is I have to get comfortable light shoes to do it as the whole time is spent on your feet and I need to be able to wear my orthotics. Doing it in my gym sneakers at the moment but they are a bit heavy. Maybe I can ask Santa.

Missed Fraser last night due to above tantrum but DD has told me that she will start buying me, for Christmas, Mothers Day and Birthdays the series on DVD now that we have collected all the SeaChange ones.

Sorry I keep jumping around with different things - my friends do say that I have a grasshopper mind and that it can be sometimes hard to keep up.
:o)





Tuesday, November 01, 2005

She's Off and Running.....

Managed to stay within points yesterday with the help of the gym session. DH opened a packet of jatz (a big weakness) when he got home yesterday and left them unguarded on the kitchen bench. After several forays into them I put them in a container and put them away. Worked like magic - out of sight out of mind. BUT I did count them in my points and cut back on other things.

The new canary is singing like pavrotti and driving everybody made (except me). He especially likes Kelly Clarkson. Hopefully he will bring a bit of spark back into Spikes life. They seem to be coexisting okay so far.

DD is a supervisor in a preschool centre and loves her kids muchly. She was telling us last night that they are making hats today and having picnic lunch outside (weather permitting) for race day. I did tell her that maybe some parents wouldnt approve but she will get around it somehow. She has always been great with small children (she has more patience with them then she does with me) and I am so happy she is doing this job. BUT (a day of BUTs) she wants to join the police force and has been going through the gruelling application process for what seems like eons. It has cost her a fortune in specialist bills as she has an innocent heart murmur which had to be checked out rigorously (ECGs and scans) and now it has been found that she doesnt have binocular vision. This has never affected her or anything she does but it may stop her application. Today she went for some sort of computer vision test and I normally go with her but as I had a rheumatologist appointment I couldnt go. I must admit sometimes I am like a lioness with a cub when it comes to her. We have always made them stand on their own two feet but I have been know to step (or stomp LOL) in when I feel that people are trying to pull something over her because of her age. I think it is one of the nicer things about getting older is that Im not scared to stand up for myself (albeit hopefully politely).

I think that this rant is now finished.

No it hasnt, she just rang test went well but opthamologist was a bit of a downer. She is going to ask the police force if she can get a second opinion as she is not very confident in his. I think he is past his use by date too!

Off to the dentist today (really am falling apart) to see about sore tooth. Hope he has a TV!

Gave DH my bets for the Cup. Just a tiny flutter. Changed one at the last moment which he wasnt happy with because, according to him, you dont change your bets but I just had a "feeling" this morning. DS has worked a couple of hours and gone to Randwick. Good Luck everyone and as Lee Freidman said yesterday, "Go the Diva"! Just heard it is raining in Melbourne at the moment.
:o)

Monday, October 31, 2005

To be or not to be - a Sook!

I am such a sook aren't I and I can only put it down to too much wine. Thanks for all your words of support - I think I am back on track today and plan a gym session this afternoon plus I will be cutting back a little each day to compensate for this week's blow out. My little goldfish on my ticker seems to have a long way to swim but Im not complaining I know it could be worse.

Have made an appointment with a new dentist to get my tooth looked out tomorrow afternoon. Everyone says it sounds like a cracked filling - I hate dentists but this guy is supposed to be lovely. I have too other dentists - both good too but one charges like a wounded bull and the other one is booked out until mid December with a dragon on reception who just says we cant help you.

I came home from my sisters yesterday with another canary. She had two and they were so noisy that she couldnt bear it so we bought one home and poor Spike (our canary) is wondering what hit him. This new canary is small and spritely and never seems to stay still. Hopefully it will sing like it did at my sisters. Might go to the markets on Sunday and get a bigger cage. I can just see DH rolling his eyes now (LOL).

DS has been nominated for apprentice of the year and we are suitably chuffed with him. He seemed to be wandering after he finished year 12 but at our insistence found a job labouring at a golf course and was later taken on as a apprentice. He finished in August and found out last week that he had been nominated. The interview is this Wednesday and he has bought his first suit to wear - hopefully it makes it through race day tomorrow intact.

Today is very muggy with the promise of storms this afternoon.

My tip for tomorrow is "Leica Falcon" because I like the name. But I suppose you cant really go past Makybe Diva if she runs. She is such a champion and it would be wonderful if she won her third cup. Oh rats, I just realised that I may be at the dentists tomorrow when the cup is run - hope he has a TV.
Enjoy
:o)





Sunday, October 30, 2005

Hopeless

I give up. Today has been a blow out of major proportions. Lunch at sisters and Sunday night drinks with friends. Bugger!

But had a great time and will move on and start tracking again tomorrow and I am sure I will learn from this. Really like the diet lemon, lime and bitters and cant buy it at the moment so that a small problem with me. Any excuse to drink wine. Bugger!

I have to have a crumpet now so I can take my medication with food but that is all. Im off to bed. Will be good the rest of the week.
:o)

Saturday, October 29, 2005

Temptations

So much for good intentions last night. Didnt carry through my good intentions. Had 3-1/2 slices of pizza, about 4 glasses of wine and few nibblies. Sooo... I'm behind the 8ball this week to start and one more lunch to go at my sisters tomorrow and then drinks again tomorrow night. Damn! I found and partially read Wendie's plan this week so I am going to apply that. I managed to crib back some points today.

I have a toothache. Started yesterday and strangely is only affected by hot. Looks like a visit to the dentist. I can be such a chicken sometimes.

Got a letter from the foot surgeon (I know they have another name but I'm in a hurry) yesterday - His charges are somewhere between $700 and $1800 depending on whether I will need a bone graft as well as a plate. I spoke to the health fund the other day and I think the hospital is covered completely except for extras so that just leaves the "puter to sleep person" and the assistant surgeon.

Tai Chi was really good today. The time just flies past. We were shown the complete Cloud movement today. Heaven help me - I dont know whether my memory will hold all those moves but I am going to give it a good try.

Lists are back in action and working well. Have managed to get some order back into the house. Anyway tonight is the beginning of daylight saving and I was going to try to get to bed early but hasnt happened. I usually go through the next 6 months jetlagged and in a fog but hopefully I wont this year.
:o)

Friday, October 28, 2005

Weigh-In 1

Weigh-in last night - down to 70kgs. A loss of 1.3kgs. Woohoo! Celebrated with a small glass of wine. Still came in with 12 spare points at the end of the week. Of course now I have to start again but I guess that's what its all about.

Really busy at work today hence this extremely short post. Trying to do it at home - son is hovering wanting the internet back and daughter is telling me about Neighbours which is making it hard to concentrate. I swear there are fewer distractions at work.

Going out to dinner tonight to friends. DH organised it - pizza and wine. I could strangle him. This is hard enough to do without him helping. Oh well, I will try to manage.

Will update everything tomorrow.
:o)

Thursday, October 27, 2005

Lists

I live by lists. I really cant survive without them although I try from time to time and chaos and anarchy reign in my life - such a time has just passed and Im back into my lists again. I dont know what is about it but if I list the things I have to do, mainly at home, then cross off each one as I go I feel like I am accomplishing something. Anyway, after a while I think this is ridiculous I know what I have to do each day, I dont need to do this list thing and that's when chaos and anarchy descends on my life. This scenario plays itself endlessly - rather like my weight loss regime - I know how to eat properly I dont need to follow a diet - wrong! You would think at my age I would understand this but I guess there are somethings we never learn. (Note to self: dont be so hard on kids when they forget for the nth time to put toaster away, hang up wet towels etc etc.)

The thing that has brought me back to my list is I having been really vague and dithery these last 3 days. Luckily the vagueness mainly happens in the afternoon after I get home from work but I must have been bad yesterday because DD offered to cook dinner for me which I really appreciated.

The other "bad" thing that happened yesterday was for the last 4 months I have been thinking/hoping that I was on my way to menopause. Now I know menopause has lots of bad side effects such as the flushes, etc but it also has a liberating phase. I have spoken to my doctor and she said you have to wait 12 months without periods before you can be classed arriving at menopause but that I was perimenopausal. Unfortunately my hopes were dashed yesterday and Im back at square one. I think that this event threw me a bit too which probably didnt help the vagueness. Anyway, enough of that......

Today is another glorious Sydney day in a suburban national park. The goanna was downstairs today hunting the water dragon eggs. I know its just nature, but I love the water dragons so I asked my boss to move him on which he did under protest. The lyrebirds havent turned up today yet although I heard them earlier when I arrived at work. The male dances and runs up and down on the ledge outside the rec room window and lately he has brought his lady friend to entertain too. I think they like their reflections.

Another box of wine arrived this morning from one of our regular suppliers up in the Hunter. Last week it was Lucy's Run, this week it is Petersens and I had a call from Ivanhoe's the other day and their tasting box should be here soon.

Weigh in tonight - I know I feel better even if that damn "sabotage fairy" is laying traps for me everywhere and I definitely am finding that even after a week my clothes are quite as tight. My mind is playing little tricks on me like saying I am tired because Im not eating enough which is rubbish - Im eating heaps just not entire packets of Jatz in one go. (LOL).
Keeping my fingers crossed anyway.
:o)

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Small steps matter

Went over my points yesterday. I have one of those electronic point calculators which I find really helpful so I actually checked the points of what I was eating rather than just accepting that bread roll = 2 points.

The breadroll was actually 2.5 and that Ski DLite yoghurt I had was actually 3 points so not very lite at all. With a few adjustments only went 0.5 over but still it was a bit sobering. Anyway still have points saved which absorbs tiny hiccups like this and I may or may not use them this week. I know I cant carrry over points saved to next week.

Went to folk art last night and that is usually my downfall because there are always lots of bikkies there but for once I was good. I took my own skim milk and sweeteners for the first cuppa and the second I had herbal tea. That lifted me a bit because it showed me that I could do it if I tried and it wasnt that hard.

Good news - I found my prescription sunglasses last night. Had been missing for 5 days and I had turned the house upside down, empty my bags a number of times, searched work and asked at the gym all to no avail. Had even made an appointment to get my eyes tested again (nearly time for my two yearly checkup anyway) and get new ones but when I picked up my folk art basket last night there they were, hiding underneath. Such a good feeling to find them.

Finished my elves last night and Pen is going to varnish them for us because they are going to sit outside in pots and needed to be varnished in marine varnish. Found a pattern for some santa ornaments that I can paint for my girlfriends this year now that I have finished the angel set that I have given them for the last, must be, 6 years. Pen's husband will cut out the shapes for me. Plus we decided to paint a deep tray with a series of santas on it as our other christmas project. Just have to find one now or something similar.

Finally, vale Rosa Parks - a strong woman whose innate dignity and sense of freedom ignited a movement 50 years ago. May she rest in a paradise where colour doesnt matter. Small steps matter.

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Blessed

Looking out my window at work I can see that I work in one of the most beautiful environments imaginable. I work in a national park and my office looks out onto water and grassy picnic areas. While this place is fairly chaotic during the weekends it is peaceful most of the time on weekdays. No matter what the weather or what the time of year it is a special place. When I first came to work here it was a fairly dank and cold building but over the years lots of changes have been made and it is now very very comfortable. We are only a small team but get on very well - they are like a second family to me and we often share our woes as well as our triumphs.

For some reason I feel really happy at the moment. Except for a brief run-in yesterday with DS who is constantly crying poor but seems to have lots of money for what he really wants to do (I call him a sunshine sucker) I had a great day.

Yesterday was my sisters birthday. This is her last year in the 50's. Its funny I dont feel old and neither does she. I guess as long as we are young in our minds, and our bodies can keep up, it doesnt matter how old we are. She is a bit of a worry though - she is only little and has put on a lot of weight over the last five years. Dangerous weight too. But I cant push too hard for her to lose it or she gets prickly (as I probably would too if someone was telliing me something I didnt want to hear). Anyway we are having lunch with her and her partner on Sunday for her birthday.

Kept to my diet yesterday very well. Was tired last night but other than that I was fine. My gym session was a bit of a strain but I did it and felt better for having done it. Drank more water too - must have nearly drank mandatory 2 litres.

Thought I had to go to the rheumatologist this morning and was having a bit of a sleep in when I realised that the appointment is next Tuesday. Much panic and rushing to get up and back on track so I could get to work but managed it somehow. My memory is a bit of a worry and also the fact that I forget to check my diary.

Oh yes, and I seem to have forgotten the new movement that we learnt at Tai Chi on Saturday. We are told to practise it within half an hour of getting home on Saturday for that very reason.

Had breakfast out on the deck with DD (who I think was still half asleep). Such a beautiful morning - I think I love this time of year for the mornings. I love autumn too for the cool nights and beautiful days.

Daylight saving this weekend - not sure if I am looking forward to it. I seemed to be tired for the 6 months it runs as if my body clock never adjusts. Will see if there is a change with my new healthy lifestyle.
:o)

Monday, October 24, 2005

Getting Started

Drinks with friends last night was not as successful as I had hoped but I didnt do as badly as I usually do. Took my really small wine glass with me which caused much hilarity, drank 3 glasses of wine rather than the one I had planned, and two small bottles of diet lemon, lime and bitters. Tried some bruschetta, ate some almonds and sampled a dip and that was it. Reduced my dinner intake when I got home and still came when I totalled up my tracker one point under. So even though I was a bit disappointed with not being in complete control (I really am a control freak) it wasnt too bad.

My aim this week is to cut down on the amount of tea and coffee I drink replacing it with herbal teas - peppermint, chamomile, dreamtime and one I have just tried - raspberry and peach. It is really yum. Hopefully there will not be too much withdrawal problems and Im not cutting tea and coffee out completely.

One of Dr Peeke's hints for Week One (http://health.discovery.com/centers/nutritionfitness/program/tips) is "Watch out for perfectionism. That's not the goal. It's all about consistency. STrive for achieving your goals about 80 percent of the time. Some days you'll be 100 percent and others 50 percent. This aim is to average 80 percent. That's what most successful people do."

I guess yesterday was a 50 percent day but today is going to be a 100 percent day. Yah!

My other aim this week is to get my pedometer activated. Even though I cant walk very much (roll on operation) at the moment without a great deal of pain I want to start keeping a count of how many steps I do walk a day with the view of joining a walking challenge when I can walk in January.

DH finished laundry (except a power point needs moving) and it looks so good. He worked like a little trojan on the weekend and I really appreciated it. The lawns and edges all look great too especially after the rain we have had lately. I managed to deadhead the roses and pull out all the forget-me-knots and primulas that had gone to seed and were looking ratty.

All in all a good weekend all round.
:o)


Sunday, October 23, 2005

The sun is shining today, there is a lovely breeze stirring the curtains and jazz is playing on the CD player. All in all a wonderful day.

Day two (this is tedious but I know it will pass) went well. Saved some points and today is going just as well. If I find I am getting hungry I try to drink water hence I am travelling everywhere even at home with a water bottle.

DH is reorganising my laundry for me and it looks great. More shelves and he is having fun using his router. He has more plans yet. I think I may try tiling the walls - note to self: look up community college and see if there are any classes locally.

Trying to get DD to do her invitations to her 21st but she has swanned off to the beach. Might be a very small guest list if she doesnt pull her finger out.

Mum rang yesterday, all sweetness and light. I dont know whether she forgets the cruel and needless things she says or whether she chooses to ignore them. Anyway she overstepped the mark by a long way last Sunday and I dont think I will let this one slide.

My foot is really sore today - had to go shopping for girlfriends 50th birthday present and I was really hobbling. Will put my sneakers on with the othotics and that will help.

Must update my tracker - what a wonderful spreadsheet and great tool. Am trying to track this time religously.

Drinks tonight with friends (happens every Sunday night) will be a challenge. Will try to limit myself to one wine and then diet soft drink and home early. Am going to take salsa and vegies with me to nibble on. That's the plan anyway.
:o)

Saturday, October 22, 2005

A Light Bulb Moment

Well Day one was okay. Managed to stay within the point range (20 + 2.5 for exercise) even with going out to dinner. We went to Chinese but couldnt have what was on the diet so substituted (forgot my eating out guide) but miscalculated a bit but it wasnt too bad.

Day Two has been okay so far but I had a bit of a light bulb moment today at tai chi. Learning tai chi takes a long time - you learn a small part of a movement every week and practise that for the week and then learn another small part next week. I guess in 9 weeks I will know a complete movement.

The light bulb moment was weight loss is a bit like that. A small bit every week and finally the goal, end result etc. etc. Maybe I can link the two - learn the movement and lose weight.

Almost forgot my weight is 71.3kg. Will change myticker when I can find Margaret's instructions.

I am very excited about this but I suppose everyone is when they first start.
:o)


:o)


Thursday, October 20, 2005

Miss Piggy ride again

Funny thing happened yesterday. After I decided that I will return, more or less, to weight watchers and that I will weigh and measure Thursday nights at 6:30 pm - it was as if ... okay Ive got a couple of days to pig out before I start starving myself.
I know that "starving" myself is not true, I think I am an intelligent woman, but heavens, this is what I have to fight against.

I ate so much yesterday that I was quite unwell last night. I think that this is some kind of disease ... or just plain stupidity.

Anyway, I will try to curb my eating today and just prepare myself for the start tomorrow of my new "live-it" plan.

I have so much to be grateful for - this is not a huge problem - it is a small hiccup that I will overcome.

Watch out world - here I come!
:o)

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Have just about decided to return to Weight Watchers. There is a meeting on Thursday nights at 6:30 which I could rearrange a few things to get to. Or should I just get the books out and do it myself and put the $15.00 a week in a reward fund. Oh decisions decisions.

Found a great website Discovery Health.com thanks to Slim Suzy. There was a section "Getting Started Journaling" which asked you to complete the following phrases:

I am eager to .... live the healthiest life I can live.

I doubt myself when .... I fall off the diet wagon yet again.

I feel powerful when ... I achieve one of my goals.

I'm proud of myself because .... I have a good relationship with my two adult children and my wonderful husband.

My 10 favourite things are ... white oriental lillies, afternoon sunlight through trees, smell of bush after rain, walking along beach in winter, family, Lucy my dog, my home, visiting Kiama in February, visiting Hunter Valley in July, Sydney.

I am most grateful for ... my husband.

I can simplify my life by living without ... stress and clutter.

I feel my mission in life is to ... live the best life I can, be there for my children when and if they need me and make my husband's life as easy and stressfree as possible because he does the same for me.

In my wildest dreams ... I couldnt have imagined being married for over 30 years to someone who helps keep me sane and loves me for unknown reasons.

I believe in myself because ... because I am the only one who has to.

Also on this website was Dr Peeke's 12-Week Weight-Loss Program which has lots of good hints which I will incorporate in my week by week weight loss challenge to get to DD 21st in early December.

Well, onwards and upward from tomorrow. Either way I will weigh in tomorrow night at 6:30 pm, take measurements and post them here tomorrow night as a record I can look back on. As I've been typing this I think I have decided that I will put the money aside for me - maybe a new dress for the party or hairdo or eyelash tint ... whatever it will be a reward.
:o)

Monday, October 17, 2005

Binge Hour or Two

Practised my t'ai chi this morning. Did the small movement over until I felt that I was doing it the way Jorge wanted us to do it. He mentioned on Saturday, that if we keep practising it eventually will become just a normal part of what we do, like driving a car it will become automatic and we can do it without thinking. I liked that analagy.

Went well today until this afternoon. That terrible time between getting home from work/gym and dinner. Something I am going to have to work hard at. I hate myself when I give in to the cravings because it is not hunger just my mind. So what to do. Will check out the weight watchers forums for ways to help combat this. I know they will have ways to help me.

Family is being combative tonight. Dont know what gets into them sometimes. Oh well, they will get over it I guess.

Sunday, October 16, 2005

A New Goal & Trouble Brewing

It hit me like a lightening bolt last night - I really do have a goal for losing this extra weight. DD 21st birthday! So I dont spend the night dodging cameras because I know that I will turn out looking extremely overweight in every photo. I dont know why, because Im not that overweight but it happens every time. Anyway, I have about 6 weeks to lose 6 kilos. So here goes and lets hope I can buy a really nice dress to wear on the night.

Plus a bonus will be that there will be less weight to carry around on crutches after my foot operation.

Trouble is brewing again in my family. I dont know what is wrong with them - they can be very underhanded at times. Mum rang this morning, again really early, and left a message with DH that I had gotten rid of her for Christmas as she was going to my sister in Queensland even though it will be very hot and she is not sure how to get to the airport. Anyway eldest sister (ES) didnt have the politeness to tell me what was going on before she spoke to Mum, so I guess Mum is feeling cross at the moment. Will ring her later and try to sort it out without too many repercussions. I feel I have to start standing up for myself as diplomaticly as I can.

Good luck to me:)

Saturday, October 15, 2005

In the Cloud

Well T'ai Chi was an eye opener. All done standing - no sitting which was a bit of test for the old foot but in spite of that really enjoyed it. Only learnt a small part of a movement and will have to practice it for the next week. I think it was called the Cloud movement - not sure. Slept in so missed breakfastbecause I didnt want to be late for first class but had some yoghurt and fruit at the gym before pilates so it all worked out. They assure me that the yoghurt is low fat but it tastes too good.

DH and I went last night to look at venue for daughters 21st. Really think it is going to be good. Near the station and lots of atmosphere. Just have to get the invites out now and decide on food and music.

Food intake progressing well today. Had yoghurt for lunch and then smoked salmon and a bagel for lunch.

Had a small bet in the Caulfield Cup. Only a trifecta and a boxed quinella but only one horse got up so missed out but it gave me something to cheer for when everyone was watching it.

Finally caught up on some paperwork at home so my desk it looking really good. I find I dont operate well in chaos - it effects me somehow and makes me depressed and unhappy. So some order is good.

DH played golf today but he really shouldnt as it puts him in a bad mood. Heard the same old record today - "I'm never playing again". Sure sure.

Finally a quiet weekend - looking forward to an early night.

Friday, October 14, 2005

To Weight Watch or not to Weight Watch

Doing this from work today and now holidays have finished I dont seem to have a lot of time.

Managed to keep to my diet yesterday without too much sabotaging. Just a small pack of fruit and nuts as a mid afternoon snack and a glass of red pre dinner last night when hubbie got home from work.

Now for the bad news, hopped on the scales this morning and there has been a weight gain. Not surprising really as I have been a bit of a loose cannon lately. Will have to change my ticker when I remember how to do it.

Trying to decide whether to start going to Weight Watchers again either by going to meetings or joining the at home program, or since I have all the books just doing it at home - but I dont think it is quite the same.

Now spring is here, I really am missing walking especially in the morning. I am still trying to go to the gym three time a week plus tomorrow I start t'ai chi which I am really nervous about but looking forward to. Hope I dont make a fool of myself too much. After that back for my normal pilates class.

Quiet weekend ahead which I am looking forward to for a change and the weather bureau has promised some rain which the gardens need badly.

Thursday, October 06, 2005

Bad vibes

News about foot was not good. Needs to be operated on and am very depressed. Means four weeks on crutches.

Am actually considering going back to weight watchers starting tonight. There is a meeting at 6.30 but I know what I have to do - Ive got the tools and information - why cant I do it myself? Have posted on a forum this question.

Oh well. Im not up today so should not bother with this at the moment. Dont even want to go to movies with friends. Need to get back on track - probably need some evening primrose oil. Off I go to get it.

Tomorrow will be better.

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

So much to do - so little time

I really have a lot to be thankful for - an acquaintence has just found out she has to have her breast removed because of cancer. Hopefully it has been caught early enough. She only discover the prognosis today and will probably be operated on next week.

My older sister visited Mum today and did not have a good time. I think I got off very lightly yesterday.

Got a lot of small jobs done today - banking, returning library books, visiting Medicare etc etc. Boring I know but when I work I have trouble fitting it all in especially since I work in a remote location with no access to the shops.

Food wise not too bad - when I am overeating I am still trying to make it a healthy alternative rather than biscuits and cheese and anything else that isnt nailed down.

Increased arthritis medication today as per doctors instructions. Keeping fingers crossed I will be okay.

Am trying to declutter my family room at the moment (it would help if I could get some ironing done). Finally threw out a dried flower arrangement which I cant even remember how old it is but I think it had a life of its own. Have a stack of magazines to go through before recycling. Bought some plants inside and hopefully there are not creepy crawlys in them.

Found a note on my computer when I sat down to type tonight saying "I love you mummy" from my nearly 21 year old daughter. I am blessed and I am grateful.

See about my foot tomorrow. Hopefully there is some good news there.

Better get on with the decluttering.
:)

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

Let the healing begin!!

Great day today with Mum. She had walked down to subway and bought what I guess was a 12 inch roll and we had half each. Salad and meat - tasty and enjoyable and I know it is okay with weight watchers. Ducked the cakes etc and just had two cups of tea and one cup of coffee. Yah did well.

Had two chocolates tonight and a licorice from DH's fathers day bag. Naughty but nice.

Read Margarets blog tonight about "Bloggers for Joggers" and am quite looking forward to the walk on the 16th October. Will download the transfer for the tshirt - probably tomorrow. Must arrange to make a donation for her. Hopefully my surgeon says that I can start walking again and that my foot has healed completely. If it has I am going to start working up to running again. Woo hoo. Cant wait.

Bad news - rheumatologist says that arthritis is accelerating. Have to increase medication and hope it doesnt made it as sick as the methotrexate (?). DH wants me to go to a naturapath which I am considering doing.

The meditation today is very apt to the above:

"I will look around and open myself to as yet undiscovered sources of support wherever they are available."

:)

Monday, September 26, 2005

Faint Not - fight on! Tomorrow comes the song.

It was wonderful this morning to wake to the sound of rain on the deck roof. So needed and so welcome.

First day of holidays and enjoyed the leisurely start to the day instead of the racing around that normally happens.

Did part of my gym session before pilates and was going to finish it after the class but decided I didnt need to do any more stretching although a bit more cardio wouldnt have gone amiss.

Did some grocery shopping and bought all Weight Watchers products and low fat because I reasoned when I go off the rails today, and I usually do, at least I could minimise the damage - well that was my reasoning anyway. Isnt it amazing how you can rationalise anything if you want to.

Having lunch with Mum tomorrow. She usually has enough food to feed a small army so I have told her a sandwich would be great. I hope she listens this time. Also finally going back to the rheumatologist so will find out the results of all my tests.

Dear Daughter (DD) has been offered a new job and is justifably nervous. I have advised her what questions she should ask but have stressed to her that the decision is hers and hers alone.
It looks good on paper but then every thing always does doesn't.

Ex brother-in-law is having his leg removed tomorrow. He is in a pretty bad way. He has reached this stage by not managing his diabetes at all. It does not look good but if nothing else he is a fighter.

Anyway, tomorrow is another day. Looking forward to once again trying to hold off the hunger pains. I must try to drink more water. I certainly am not drinking enough water at the moment.