Little Ramblings

I was talking to Mark about you girls and he said, how do I know you are who you say you are. Well I suppose until I meet you I dont but somehow I do. LOL.

Well finally after a few little losses have managed a loss of 900g this week. Funnily I think it was that man of mine again who may have got through to me. He actually told me he was worried that all the weight I was putting on was adding to the strain on my joints in particular my ankle. Love him to bits - such a tactful way to say "get your act together". Trying hard to keep on the move without doing any exercise. Still trying to rest ankle until ultrasound next week. Wont see the surgeon again until following week. Please keep everything crossed for me. Anyway all those dangerous rolls around my middle are decreasing.

Nothing much else to report - work as usual and hopefully a quiet weekend coming up. I guess I should start to think about Christmas cards too. The weeks are flying by so quickly and Christmas will be upon us before we know it.
Enjoy yourselves

Procrastinator

I have been procrastinating a lot lately. Instead of getting in and doing what I have to do I put things off and then feel bad because I havent done them.

And usually when I procrastinate it involves food. Something along the lines of I wont do such-and-such now so I will sit and read the paper and eat instead.

I lost some weight this week. I know this sounds stupid but although I weighed in last night at WW and knew I had lost some weight I didnt check to see how much. Maybe this is a good thing.

Some good news on the ankle - the prosthesis is okay but the surgeon could feel/hear what I was talking about. A sort of a grinding. He thinks that maybe a spur is forming near that tendon that runs down the front of the leg and the worst scenario is that it might cause this tendon to rupture. Mind you that is the worst scenario. Anyway off in early December for an ultrasound and maybe a CT scan and then we will hopefully know what the next step is going to be.

Other than that nothing to report. Have a new little friend at work - a swamp wallaby came down to the window yesterday. He looked so cute hiding behind the ferns and peering over. By the time I got my camera out (and no I still havent worked out how to download pictures) he was off.

Sydney is hot hot hot at the moment. Sleeping is difficult and relief doesnt look like it is coming anytime soon. A lot of the state, and other states as well, are at catastrophic fire danger. Wasnt sure I was going to get into the national park to work today but the warning is standing at Severe Fire Danger so it was okay.
Summer is well and truly here. The heat is a bad but it is the humidity that is the killer.

Anyway have a great weekend, talk soon............

Not a sad post just fact

Not after sympathy just letting you know where I am at.

Home again, on crutches with foot back in boot.

Have an appointment with surgeon early tomorrow morning after xraying.

May have done something stupid to a not fully healed new ankle. Hopefully not. I am such a doofus.

C'est la vie! Onward and upward! .......and all that crap.

A Fraud

I really must do something about that photo - looks nothing like me anymore - boy have I stacked the weight on. Funny I dont see it when I look in the mirror but I definitely see it when someone sneaks a photo of me. And of course my clothes - I dont even want to think of summer at the moment.

But Lucy looks the same.

I am finding losing the weight really hard not only because of my age because it is harder to do when there is just two of you. Funny that.

Ankle is still sore - oh yes I forgot - a couple of weeks ago I got out into the garden for the first time in yonks and I may have done something silly. This is a secret at the moment from Mark as I dont want an "I told you so" coming my way. Going back to physio tomorrow so I will discuss it with Robbie. Keep your fingers crossed for me. Seems to be getting better.

Back at yoga and loving it.

Another joint is gone. The joint at the base of my left thumb has died or whatever they do. Nothing can be done (Dr P has said that before and we will wait and see). Dr suggested wearing a wrist splint to give joint some support. Lighting stove is becoming a challenge and opening doors can be tricky but honestly who cares. I can eventually see me in one of those little carts terrorising the neighbourhood.

Biopsy on mole on ankle also turned out fine.

Bathroom is finished and hopefully separate toilet will be finished next week and I can reclaim the front verandah from being a builders site. Will post pictures as soon as I work out how to download them from new camera - Wonderful birthday present from children - Mark has bought me tickets for dinner and Wicked. Must sort that out soon.

My eldest sister visited from Queensland with her partner and dog. Lovely time had by all and the beautiful daughter took us for a drive around the old 'hood so we could see what was happening. Our old house looks so sad and neglected. It wasn't a flash house but it had a lovely garden and Dad always maintained it well. I'd really like to give someone a swift kick up the kaiser. The tour culminated with lunch at Woolwich Pier Hotel. All in all a pleasant day and a pleasant visit.

Such a busy time of year and the calendar is starting to fill up. I am trying to pace things this year - not going out Friday night, Saturday night and Sunday. It just exhausts us - the weekends are meant for rest and gardening of course. Cant wait to hit the nursery to spruce up front verandah.

Anne, see you arent the only one who can ramble. Have a great weekend everyone and you are all, always in my thoughts.

Chocolat

Something I have been pondering - Last week I bought a block of Lindt chocolate - Orange Intense. Dont ask me why - I dont even particularly like dark chocolate but I do like the orange/chocolate meld thing. Every night this week since Tuesday Mark and I have had a square each after dinner. Now since Tuesday I have virtually stopped feeling nauseous all the time and I have been sleeping better. Actually we both have been sleeping better. Does dark chocolate hold some magical powers? Reminds me of one of my favourite books - Chocolat by Joanne Harris. Mystical and Magical stuff.

Some other good things -
Lost 100g (LOL - but better than putting on)
Bacterial stomach infection has gone
On at least two occasions, in the early morning, my right ankle has actually looked like an ankle and not a swollen tree stump.

Now a recap
One of my sisters came up and spent last Sunday with me which meant that I didnt get any gardening done but it was lovely to sit and chat.

My other sister, supervising the sale of Mum's house in Qld, managed the sale within one week for a really good price. Way to go! One less worry.

Gareth's cast finally off his arm. He took it off himself. Back to the snow fields this weekend not that it has stopped him snowboarding. Boys!

Think my DSLite is helping me. Either way I enjoy doing it.

The red dust day was incredible. Could not believe the sky on my way to the gym for my shower (yes I am still doing this). Mind you I think we will be cleaning up for a long while to come. The red dust just blended with the dust coming out of the bathroom. Just heard that our red dust has fallen in Auckland! We really are a sharing and caring nation.

Bathroom was waterproofed yesterday, the new ceiling has gone in, the drains are being done today and the tiling starts on Monday (I hope). Lucy needs another bath as she has turned back in to a "builders dog".

If I had just talked a little louder at WW meeting last night I might have been in trouble - the question was: What do you think of when I say Lasagne, Fish and Chips and there was something else. Everyone else was saying things like "fatty" and all I could come up with was "yum". Bad bad Julie.

Anne I can now see you on Facebook and will be able to keep in touch and comment. Anni if you have time to read this - I am so jealous and you sound like you are having a ball.

Have a great weekend everyone and take care.

A Need to Talk

I was thinking this morning how sick and fed up I feel at the moment and then I thought that I could tell you guys.

I am trying really hard to get myself back in some sort of routine eating, exercise and just living but finding it extremely hard.

Not having a bathroom is extremely hard. I know I know that in the long run it will be all worth it but I am exhausted. I feel like Mark and I are part of of tribe of nomads setting off each morning in search of a shower. So many problems have come up with the old bathroom - we have virtually replaced all the plumbing in the house because the old pipes were leaking into the internal walls and now it is just a waiting game as we wait for the bricks to dry. Luckily the builder is meticulous otherwise we could have more problems later down the road. Anyway the plumbing and taps in the laundry have been replaced, the new plumbing is installed in the bathroom, the bathroom walls have all been rerendered, the new ceiling goes in today and the floor in the bathroom is being topped. Hopefully the tiles can go on next week but we will have to see how the drying out progresses. Today it is 30 degrees so that might help with the process.

Healthwise - I am sore and aching everywhere. Not just my new ankle which is still horribly swollen. Because my blood pressure has gone up again and that medication has been increased my RA medication has been decreased and I am slowly seizing up. Maybe the BP problem is caused by my weight or lack of exercise or both. It really is a catch-22 situation. My stomach is still acting up - I go for the Urea Breath Test next Monday morning and I dont know what to expect there. The antibiotics I took 6 weeks ago were supposed to clear up the bacterial infection but who knows. (Just spoke to Mark on the phone who is worried about how I feel and his presciption is drink "real" coke - LOL).

I want my old life back!

The song that keeps running through my mind is "Mother's Little Helpers" by the Stones - "What a drag it is getting old".

Anyway - I am trying (yet again) a new approach to losing weight. I have increased my points from 18 (really not at all realistic for me - I feel deprived) to 25 and will see how that goes. If I can lose weight slowly on 25 points a day I will continue if not I will reduce it by 1 point each week - looking for the happy balance. Not the approved method but I am past worrying about it and no one needs to know except me and you.

Now some positive - I really want to do part of the Seven Bridges Walk next month with Jess. I thought I would do the part of the walk in her area in case I have a problem and we could call on her colleagues to help me if they werent busy. At the moment I cant see me even completing one stage but I did go an buy new runners on Tuesday so that I can try and break them in beforehand. (The guy at Footlocker in HOrnsby was great but people make me laugh when they see my right foot with the scarring still very much in evidence - he didnt want to lace the shoe too tightly as he was so worried he was going to hurt me.)

Anyway, I do feel better now I have spoken to you - life is such a bitch sometimes.

Today

Today I sit here in my black clothes waiting for my children to come and collect me to take me to my mother's funeral. I wish I could fit into something more colourful but I cant so black it is.

I have bought the spot in a garden at the crematorium I know she would have loved, brought her ashes back from Queensland, arranged for the plaque with a little picture of a cat on it as a reminder of her beloved Angel, the dreaded tiger cat, written my little speech as no one else wants to speak, picked the music - Time to Say Goodbye (Con Te Partiro) by Sarah Brightman and Andrea Bocelli and Somewhere over the Rainbow/A wonderful world by Israel Kam...... (cant spell or pronounce his name), organised the food for a light lunch afterwards - let me see was there anything else.

Not everyone is coming - we made a conscious decision that it would only be immediate family and the interstate branch has decided not to come. Sad but understandable. They have probably already said their goodbyes. This has been dragging on for months.

What made me post this morning was reading a post about someones Grandmother. Mum's mum was the complete opposite to Mum. She lived in South Hurstville in an old weatherboard house with an enormous chook yard, a gigantic tree (may have been oak) in the side yard with a rope swing, lots of interesting outbuildings, no inside toilet and I loved going there. I remember she used to let me eat my vegetables raw because that was the way I preferred them. I remember sitting by her coal fire listening to the radio. She was a small woman who had been married to a harsh man who was luckily gone by the time I arrived. I loved her so much and due to troubles at home I spent a lot of time with her especially in the school holidays or when I was sick. She raised rabbits too. It was only later that I realised that these little creatures that we dressed up and wheeled around in a dolls pram were destined for someones dinner table. One of the many ways she eked out her meagre existence.
I am sorry my glorious daughter never met her. I think they share the same spirit.

Anyway I am getting teary remembering a time that has long passed.

Today another chapter of that story ends - I hope my mother has found peace. I think it eluded her during her life but we all deserve a happy ending.