Why Does this Happen?

I really need to talk about this hence the second post this week.

Yesterday was a really blah day for me.

I guess it was depression in some form. I felt so down and exhausted. I ate everything in sight. I don't really know what triggered it.

I did think about what was happening to me and possible reasons. The main one is the threat of my ankle really being trashed this time and another operation looming and a secondary one is that I was just getting back into the swing of exercising again and now nothing. I know exercise makes you feel better - endorphins etc and I love doing it.

I have pulled myself back - really there are so many people worse off then me.

I am going to take some painkillers at lunchtime and go for a little walk around the picnic area in the national park to get some sunshine.

But if you have any thoughts on this I would appreciate them.

WARNING - Weight Hazard

OK I am officially declaring the Rugby World Cup a weight hazard!

How am I going to survive 6 weeks or maybe only 4 now of partying (yes yes I know I have nothing to celebrate at the moment), drinks, dinners, nibblies and generally having a great time. This is really rhetorical as we all know what I am going to do - drink, dine and eat in no particular order. Oh well it only comes around every four years thank goodness.

After all that, and in spite of that, I managed to reclaim 600g of the yo-yo weight last week. By reclaim I mean gone again. I am trying to eat sensibly during the week with a meal plan etc etc but on the weekend that meal plan opens the window and flies away so I was glad the scale movement was down again when I had been thinking it was going to be up.

The weather in Sydney is warming up and is glorious. Haven't had a jumper on all day.

Can't remember if I mentioned it last week but my ankle is playing up again. I think I did. Went to GP and she has referred me on the the ankle surgeon again who I see on Tuesday week. Hopefully it is something that can be easily fixed with physio or something like that. But as a result there has been no exercise at all done for nearly two weeks. I have thought about walking Lucy and taking my phone with me just in case I needed rescuing. The pain can be quite a lot or hardly at all. I don't know why. By the end of the day yesterday my right ankle looked enormous.

Also back to see the rheumotologist tomorrow. Hopefully I can stop taking some of the tablets. I think the rash I have got is from the plaquenil - similar to the rash that methotrexate gives me and is driving me slowly crazy. Also hopefully not anemic anymore so can stop the iron tablets too. I'm a walking timebomb at the moment but doing my bit to keep doctors in gainful employment. My GP has put me on a care plan again so I am off to see the podiatrist again and hopefully he will be able to help me with my feet too at minimal cost.

Work has only a week to go, and then holidays for two glorious weeks and more practising for retirement.

Hope everyone has a great week - I intend to.

Excuses Excuses Excuses

Not really, no excuses.

After weeks of carefully planned eating and exercising, the sabotage fairy hit back with a vengenance. Serves me right for feeling smug and in control.

Two days at a conference in a beautiful hotel in Darling Harbour with an overnight stay and all the trappings including a dinner were just the beginning. Who knew I could eat that much food - well really I did but I conveniently forgot it at the time.

Have done something to the foot which had the tendon repair and ankle replacement. Can hardly walk at the moment so Lucy and the gym are once again on hold. Appointment with GP today and another appointment with specialist in two weeks time just to make sure I have not done permanent damage that will require another operation. Christmas is coming and all that (Mark will kill me if I am on crutches for another Chrismas) but I think everyone else is getting used to seeing me like that. Meanwhile am trying to rest it as much as possible. Have a horrible feeling it might have something to do with the MBTs but cant say for sure. They are so comfortable and I love walking in them but maybe I overused an already sick tendon.

Rugby world cup started on Friday night and we went to friends for a homemade pizza and wine night. Damn there I went again.

Saturday night was a 30th birthday party for another friends son and boy did they have great fingerfood and lots of it. Actually was so full that I had to turn some down. Not like me at all. Also there were bowls of soft lollies (snakes etc) on each table and I actually wrestled one of the husbands who tried to take it away. Comical but sad.

Yesterday wasnt too bad but the damage had been done. Stepped on the scales this morning with eyes squeezed tightly shut. Didnt make any difference - the gain was 1.4kgs. Isnt it amazing how quickly it comes back in just 4 out of control days. No really it is amazing.....oh okay, it is pathetic.

Anyway back on track this morning - the planning, the water etc. Mind you we still have a few of weeks of rugby world cup to go but I am going to try and make it through.

Now the good news - Lucy has started walking up steps, sometimes. She is getting better and we are desperately trying to make sure she doesnt overdo it. Mark has thought about ringing the vet to see if he could have some of the injections that she had as they seemed to do the trick. That and an awful lot of spoiling from us. I wouldnt mind having the injections either. I might mention it to the rheumotologist when I go to see her next week.

The weather has turned freezing here again. Really need some warmth soon.

Have a great week - onwards and downwards!

What a Drag it is Growing Old (thanks to rolling stones)

Another 700grams gone this week. I can see it has gone from my face but not the places I want it gone from. It is so frustrating. Used to be so much easier when I was younger. Let this be a warning to all you young-uns!

Last night on FB M alerted us about the interview on ACA (I think) about three former contestants of Biggest Loser and what had happened to them since the show. Someone provided the link and I must say that I was shocked. These people have put the weight back on and in some cases more. They were talking about having a packet of timtams with their coffee and buying a cheesecake and eating it by themselves in one go and semi-blaming the show because they didn't get enough support after the show had finished. While I don't think the show is perfect, it could have been the perfect springboard to a healthier life if this is what they really wanted. Stop making excuses and just do it. As a person who could be a world champion procrastinator if I really tried I know how hard it is. But you just have to make choices and one of my choices is that I don't have the food in the house that I love because I know at low moments I would be eating it with no regard to the damage that I was doing. It is hard work but most of us care about ourselves and treat our bodies well.

Spring has sprung in Sydney and the days are glorious again though they are threatening thunderstorms later today. Light enough in the mornings now for Lucy and I to walk. The sun was this enormous bright red ball this morning. Makes you realise hos lucky you are to be awake at that special time of the morning.

A brush turkey has made a nest near the front steps at work. The scourge of gardeners because they ruin gardens he is fine in the national park. Although the female was there the next day haven't see either of them near it lately so perhaps it was just a practice one. Might not be warm enough to form the incubator they need.

Mark is slowly rebuilding the back steps. I think he is enjoying the challenge most of the time although the air does turn blue occasionally. He made the North Shore Times last week with a article on his family's history on the North Shore. Picture of his Dad working the the family butcher shop was printed too. My goodness I can tell where the boys get their good looks from.

Lucy is better but still wont go up the steps at the back. She has started umping up on the lounge again occasionally. Maybe the warmer weather is helping her too.

I am off to a conference at Darling Harbour for the next two day. Get to stay in the city overnight and go out to dinner as well. Looking forward to it although we will still be working hard.

Have a great week everyone.

PS Endoscopy last week showed that the ulcer had finally healed although I will have to keep taking the medication because the other medication is what caused it and I can't stop taking that or I will seize up. Don't have to have another endoscopy for a year. Good times