Monday, November 05, 2007

It has been a tough week or so. I became really complacent about my weight – I was doing okay, what’s the problem?

Well the problem is, if I’m not vigilant, I put on weight because I LOVE food and wine and everything and I will snack continuously if allowed. This week I have felt like “Gollum” from Lord of the Rings with a split personality. The good side says “no I will be good, I will cut back carbs I wont snack I will exercise and cut down on alcohol” the bad side says “it wont hurt – what the hell!” and we know the consequences of that.

Now my weight is not immense and I’m getting better at keeping it below 70kgs but even that is too much for my joints. I have rheumatoid arthritis and as I get closer to the 70kg mark the joints stiffen and swell especially feet and knees which makes day to day life a challenge and makes me distinctly crabby.

I’m not complaining (really I’m not) and I don’t want sympathy – it is completely and utterly my fault. I just needed to talk about it to people who are not too judgemental.

Gareth is home and my study and therefore my computer has been taken over and I am finding it hard to get time to read blogs and respond to emails. It is lovely to have him home except he is still jetlagged and cranky (especially at night) and we are back to me asking him to do something, him saying yes and just not moving. I end up nagging and cross and he ends up cross because he feels I am nagging. It is a no win situation and I guess it is easier for me to just do everything. He has two weeks at home before he needs to move out (or I may kill him) and he keeps saying he wants to move out. The lack of help, even clearing up after a meal, is driving me insane.

Oh well, it is back to counting points (or trying to) and trying to motivate myself to exercise. I am feeling stale at the gym and need to be assessed again but have never found that satisfying at my gym. I am waiting for a special offer for a personal trainer to happen and then I will do that as I have found out it doesn’t have to be every week – it can be once a fortnight or even I think, once a month and I wouldn’t mind doing some boxing.

A small highlight of the week was the arrival of my “swallow” necklaces from bomboulina in the US. They are lovely and I will be checking out more etsy shops in the future.

The weekend is here and looks like a rainy and stormy one. Sometimes nice to snuggle with a good book or maybe even an extra class at the gym.

Sorry for the whinge. I promise that this will pass and I will build bridges and move on. (How many clichés can I fit in one sentence?)

Amusez-vous bien

Post Script: This post was written on Friday and stored on my thumbdrive which I Ieft at work. This is the first chance I have had to download it to my blog.

Its November and the jacarandas are in full magnificent flower against stormy grey skies. Stunning.
Yesterday did not live up to the weather forecasters prediction and was one of those achingly beautiful sunny slightly cool days that makes your blood sing and be so so glad to be alive in this time and space. Today is windy, rainy and cool but the light is still blindingly beautiful and everything has been washed clean and sparkles.


  1. Does sound liek a few of us are in similar funks at the moment. You aren't whinging, it's your blog to write your feelings, how you're coping and you are just being honest. Hope you soon start to feel better:-)

  2. It is a constant struggle for me at the moment too. I love food and wine too! I know you don't want sympathy, but I will give you some because it must be so hard dealing with the pain and discomfort of your arthritis. Does the weather affect it much?
    Personal trainer sounds good. Once a month would be great - just to be able to check in and get some tips and reassurance.
    Hope you are feeling better xx

  3. Hello - I came across your blog via Suzy's. I can totally relate to your comment about LOVING food and wine. Why do they both have to contain calories?!!!