Had a call from Jess last weekend to say that she was putting herself and partner on a diet - I dont quite know why but anyway I told her about calorieking. When she came around she said that she thought it was a wonderful site so since I hadnt visited for a while I went and had a look.
In spite of all my good intentions about not counting points or calories and that I could do this on my own I decided to record my intake for 1 day.
Well......
By lunch time I had nearly used up the calories I had been allocated for the day. Hmmm - I think I can see a bit of a problem here. No wonder I am having trouble. Being sedentary doesnt help but still I was eating good food but just lots of it. I think it is called portion control.
Anyway I have continued on this week weighing, estimating and recording and not once have I managed to come in at the suggested calorie intake level for losing weight. Some days, even though I have tried, I have eaten nearly one and a half the amount of calories I should.
So my suggestion is if you think you are doing the right thing and still not losing any weight or worse, putting it on, record what you are eating for a couple of days - you might get a shock.
Anyway back at work this week. Relying on other people to drive you to and from work is the pits because I end up working long days waiting for people and by the time I get home there isnt any time to do anything else other than the basics. So many things to do at work that I sometimes dont quite know where to start. The phones havent been working properly which meant a lot of walking or yelling between offices, the smoke detectors went off yesterday afternoon for no reason and when one goes off they all go off and the noise is mind-numbing and they had to be disconnected and an emergency call put in to the maintenance company. Technician had just arrived yesterday when I was going home and luckily one of the teachers volunteered to stay behind.
Still not sleeping well no matter how tired I am becoming. Start and finish in my bed but sometime during the night I move to the guest bedroom because I hate keeping GOM awake. He too has to sleep.
New rheumatoligist visit next Friday. Managed to get a copy of the last blood tests from GP so I have something to take with me as well as all the x-rays. Thanks Anna for sending me that blog. Havent read it all but have added it to my reader list.
Jess got her new table and chairs this morning. Would you believe delivery was at 6:30.
Gareth leaves for Alaska on Monday. He has tickets to see the skeleton events at the winter olympics. His ex-girlfriend got them for him. He is also hoping to see the snowboarding. They are going to be a long 5 weeks for me but at least this time I have skype.
Have a good weekend everyone and I will catch up soon.
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Thursday, January 21, 2010
On the home stretch
Well the cast came off yesterday and am now in an aircast boot for 4 weeks. Convinced the doctor that I would be alright sleeping without it - sleeping being the operative word but must admit that I worried that I would rip the inner stitches apart in my sleep. And I have to remember to put the boot back on when I get up in the middle of the night. A tricky manoeuvre when you are half asleep.
Also had my shower routine in the cast down pat and this morning was a bit of a disaster but I guess I will get there. The great thing about people, and me in particular, is that we adapt - maybe not as gracefully as we should but still we adapt.
Back to see doctor in 4 weeks with an x-ray. Thanks for the fingercrossings.
GOM picks up his new car today. Another black Subaru Liberty but I got a look at it yesterday and it is so much bigger than the model he has. I dont quite understand why we need such a big car - there is just us most of the time and of course, Lucy the wonderdog when she is invited out.
Heard from Jess today. Who am I kidding she rings me two or three times a day. They are thinking of coming back a day early as their friends have decided to come back early. Whoo Hoo - oh I mean that's sad. So she could be back on Friday instead of Saturday. Yay coffee together on Saturday maybe. If not, then probably Sunday. I miss her presence so much and so does her kitty, Kara. Mark and I go up and feed her everynight and play for a little while with her but I think she misses Jess horribly. I'm glad I am not the only one.
Gareth is still trying to find a new flatmate. Someone is coming to look today. He is also in the final countdown of his preps for his trip to Alaska. 11 days and he is off for 5 weeks. Will miss him but he has hooked up skype for me so we can talk when he is away and I can still have my weekly dose of Gareth.
Am enjoying my arthritis book immensely. Some very interesting things in it about strength training. Was reading it while I waited at physio, doctors, credit union etc etc yesterday and underlining things I wanted to remember. Will go through it with page markers too and list some of the things that are interesting such as the chapter about oils:
High anti-inflammatory oils - Fish oil and flaxseed oil
Moderate anti-inflammatory oils - Canola, Evening Primrose, Soybean, Blackcurrant seed, Olive and Borage
Pro-inflammatory oils (rich in Omega-6 Fatty Acids) - Safflower, corn, sunflower and cottonseed
The high and moderate anti-inflammatory oils are known to suppress inflammation and the last four encourage it.
Most processed food contain the Omega-6 Fatty Acids Oils - biscuits, crisps etc.
It got me looking a packages.
Also took the BMI test - knew I shouldnt have. I know that this test is not conclusive and should be done with stomach and hip measurements too but it was a bit scary and I think that the measurements would have been even more scary.
Anyway, so much to take in and so many plans to formulate and follow through.
Also had my shower routine in the cast down pat and this morning was a bit of a disaster but I guess I will get there. The great thing about people, and me in particular, is that we adapt - maybe not as gracefully as we should but still we adapt.
Back to see doctor in 4 weeks with an x-ray. Thanks for the fingercrossings.
GOM picks up his new car today. Another black Subaru Liberty but I got a look at it yesterday and it is so much bigger than the model he has. I dont quite understand why we need such a big car - there is just us most of the time and of course, Lucy the wonderdog when she is invited out.
Heard from Jess today. Who am I kidding she rings me two or three times a day. They are thinking of coming back a day early as their friends have decided to come back early. Whoo Hoo - oh I mean that's sad. So she could be back on Friday instead of Saturday. Yay coffee together on Saturday maybe. If not, then probably Sunday. I miss her presence so much and so does her kitty, Kara. Mark and I go up and feed her everynight and play for a little while with her but I think she misses Jess horribly. I'm glad I am not the only one.
Gareth is still trying to find a new flatmate. Someone is coming to look today. He is also in the final countdown of his preps for his trip to Alaska. 11 days and he is off for 5 weeks. Will miss him but he has hooked up skype for me so we can talk when he is away and I can still have my weekly dose of Gareth.
Am enjoying my arthritis book immensely. Some very interesting things in it about strength training. Was reading it while I waited at physio, doctors, credit union etc etc yesterday and underlining things I wanted to remember. Will go through it with page markers too and list some of the things that are interesting such as the chapter about oils:
High anti-inflammatory oils - Fish oil and flaxseed oil
Moderate anti-inflammatory oils - Canola, Evening Primrose, Soybean, Blackcurrant seed, Olive and Borage
Pro-inflammatory oils (rich in Omega-6 Fatty Acids) - Safflower, corn, sunflower and cottonseed
The high and moderate anti-inflammatory oils are known to suppress inflammation and the last four encourage it.
Most processed food contain the Omega-6 Fatty Acids Oils - biscuits, crisps etc.
It got me looking a packages.
Also took the BMI test - knew I shouldnt have. I know that this test is not conclusive and should be done with stomach and hip measurements too but it was a bit scary and I think that the measurements would have been even more scary.
Anyway, so much to take in and so many plans to formulate and follow through.
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
My Plan (yes yet another one)
My plan last week starting from Monday was to lose a kilo a week until I am back where I should be for health reasons. Well guess what I put on 100g between major weigh-ins (the minor weigh-ins went up and down like a yo-yo).
You dont have to be Einstein to work out why - basically the midnight munchies (or more accurately the between 2 a.m. and 4 a.m. munchies) were the problem. Now I think I am a fairly intelligent person and I know that eating during the time I should be sleeping is stupid but that didnt stop me at all.
The mind-numbing despair that comes at that time of the night/morning when you are somehow wide awake but desperately craving sleep is debilitating. BUT no excuses - still did the wrong thing and I knew it.
Have also discovered over the past two days - a bit late but nonetheless - that if I get up have a drink (chamomile tea or warm milk and half a banana) and instead of watching tv/reading/playing DS I go to the bed in the spare room I can lie down and fidget as much as I want without disturbing GOM. Bliss! I have been waking up a few hours later and going back to my bed and I am okay. The cool weather is also helping (it was a pleasant cool yesterday in Sydney but it was minus 4 degrees at Thredbo).
Got back onto track yesterday and the scales looked better this morning.
Had my first attempt at meditation yesterday. As usual my "wildmind" (a phrase I read in a blog this morning) ran, well wild. I think it is also called monkey chatter. I kept bringing myself back to the breath but it was no sooner back then off it ran again, chattering wildly. I will keep trying.
A small glimmer of hope arrived in the mail yesterday - a book. I had seen it at the physios when he put the cast on my leg and since I cant get out had found it on the internet and ordered it. This all happened before Christmas. It finally arrived yesterday. The book is "Strong Women and Men Beat Arthritis by Dr Miriam Nelson". I have only read a small part of it but find myself a bit overwhelmed by what it says. She could be speaking directly to me. I am so looking forward to the chapters on exercise and diet and know that I will be integrating some of the exercises into my day when I can.
The decluttering of my study is progressing slowly but well. I actually threw out all the "Table" magazines I had yesterday without going through each one. The rationale is that I have not looked at them in years and all this information is available on-line.
Also got another box of books to take to Lifeline. Still more to go but I dont want to scare GOM with the scale of what I am doing. How one (me) person could have accumulated so much paper is truly mindboggling and slightly scary.
Off to physio to take cast off tomorrow and then to surgeon for revisison. Keep all your collective fingers crossed for me.
You dont have to be Einstein to work out why - basically the midnight munchies (or more accurately the between 2 a.m. and 4 a.m. munchies) were the problem. Now I think I am a fairly intelligent person and I know that eating during the time I should be sleeping is stupid but that didnt stop me at all.
The mind-numbing despair that comes at that time of the night/morning when you are somehow wide awake but desperately craving sleep is debilitating. BUT no excuses - still did the wrong thing and I knew it.
Have also discovered over the past two days - a bit late but nonetheless - that if I get up have a drink (chamomile tea or warm milk and half a banana) and instead of watching tv/reading/playing DS I go to the bed in the spare room I can lie down and fidget as much as I want without disturbing GOM. Bliss! I have been waking up a few hours later and going back to my bed and I am okay. The cool weather is also helping (it was a pleasant cool yesterday in Sydney but it was minus 4 degrees at Thredbo).
Got back onto track yesterday and the scales looked better this morning.
Had my first attempt at meditation yesterday. As usual my "wildmind" (a phrase I read in a blog this morning) ran, well wild. I think it is also called monkey chatter. I kept bringing myself back to the breath but it was no sooner back then off it ran again, chattering wildly. I will keep trying.
A small glimmer of hope arrived in the mail yesterday - a book. I had seen it at the physios when he put the cast on my leg and since I cant get out had found it on the internet and ordered it. This all happened before Christmas. It finally arrived yesterday. The book is "Strong Women and Men Beat Arthritis by Dr Miriam Nelson". I have only read a small part of it but find myself a bit overwhelmed by what it says. She could be speaking directly to me. I am so looking forward to the chapters on exercise and diet and know that I will be integrating some of the exercises into my day when I can.
The decluttering of my study is progressing slowly but well. I actually threw out all the "Table" magazines I had yesterday without going through each one. The rationale is that I have not looked at them in years and all this information is available on-line.
Also got another box of books to take to Lifeline. Still more to go but I dont want to scare GOM with the scale of what I am doing. How one (me) person could have accumulated so much paper is truly mindboggling and slightly scary.
Off to physio to take cast off tomorrow and then to surgeon for revisison. Keep all your collective fingers crossed for me.
Friday, January 15, 2010
Tired
Only 4 more nights of purgatory until the cast comes off. Thank goddess! Another night with little sleep and having to be up early this morning to wait for grocery delivery (why I elected to have it delivered so early I dont know) has sent me spiralling down although I had a good result on those things that rule my life - the scales.
Was going really well this week foodwise until I went to my sister's for lunch. I guess that is something I have to learn how to do even after all these year - or else become a hermit.
I am nearly being driven mad trying to convert from a PC to a mac. Thankfully the Apple help desk is, well, helpful and relatively easy to get on to as I speak to them nearly every day.
Excuse any negative vibes that are coming out of the computer this morning but I am exhausted and at the end of my tether.
Enjoy your weekends.
Was going really well this week foodwise until I went to my sister's for lunch. I guess that is something I have to learn how to do even after all these year - or else become a hermit.
I am nearly being driven mad trying to convert from a PC to a mac. Thankfully the Apple help desk is, well, helpful and relatively easy to get on to as I speak to them nearly every day.
Excuse any negative vibes that are coming out of the computer this morning but I am exhausted and at the end of my tether.
Enjoy your weekends.
Friday, January 08, 2010
All alone, finally
GOM has gone out. Armed with my library reservation list, banking and shopping list. The house is relatively quiet except for my iTunes playing quietly in the background. Peace for a short time.
For someone who is retiring he sure is working hard. The bloody phone never stops ringing. Calls from France at all hours and of cause Sydney. How will this airline fly without him? He ties up the phoneline and steals my printer. Okay I have finished whinging now. I really really do love him dearly but this 24 hour 7 days a week is starting to grate. I know once I am mobile it wont be like this. We have always had our different interests.
Oh and while he is out he is thinking of getting a new car. The deal will be that Gareth will buy the Liberty at trade-in price and Mark will get a new Liberty or Mark will keep his old Liberty and we will lend Gareth the money to buy a new Impreza. My Impreza will then come back home to my garage where I can watch it and count the days until I can drive it again. I know it is good that it is being driven, and I know he will be super careful but remember this is the child that wrote his own car off just before Christmas because he wasnt concentrating on what he was doing. I just dont think about it most of the time.
On books I have finished two books in the last three days. I had started both books in December but was having trouble reading them. Since the first operation in May, my brain has been like a little grasshopper - springing from one thing to another, never completing anything. Decided to knuckle down and either:
Read the ends and return
Just return
Read them
After exploring the first idea, discounted and decided to make myself read them. I am glad that I did because I felt almost normal again when I realised that I was really enjoying them and didnt want to put them down to eat or cook.
The were
The Secret Scripture by Sebastian Barry and
What my bestfriend did by Lucy Dawson
Both completely different books which I guess shows my eclectic tastes.
So armed with the book reviews from an old Notebook magazine (Nov 2005) I checked out the local library for copies.
These books are
Julie and Julia by Julie Powell
Veuve Taylor by Henrietta Taylor
A Thousand Days in Venice by Marlena de Blasi
Ahead is a busy weekend. We are going to see "Wicked" tomorrow night. Then on Sunday there is a 60th birthday golf day (not for me to attend unfortunately as I think I would be a hindrance although I could sit in the clubhouse) and later a farewell for an elderly neighbour (she would hate that I described her as that) who has sold her house and is moving to the Mornington Peninsula to be nearer her daughter. This woman taught both my children to swim oh so many years ago. I still have a video of Gareth saying, "I'll try Mrs X, I'll try" in a plaintive little voice when she asked him to dog paddle across the pool and as for Jess the first time she was taken into the pool she screamed so much that a neighbour rang to see who was being murdered in the pool. Good times. Unfortunately her very fit and always active husband succumbed to Altzheimers over the last couple of years and is now in a home also on the peninsula. It is sad seeing the old neighbourhood change but change I know it will.
Anyway I'm off the iron. It takes my forever to iron sitting down but I eventually get there.
For someone who is retiring he sure is working hard. The bloody phone never stops ringing. Calls from France at all hours and of cause Sydney. How will this airline fly without him? He ties up the phoneline and steals my printer. Okay I have finished whinging now. I really really do love him dearly but this 24 hour 7 days a week is starting to grate. I know once I am mobile it wont be like this. We have always had our different interests.
Oh and while he is out he is thinking of getting a new car. The deal will be that Gareth will buy the Liberty at trade-in price and Mark will get a new Liberty or Mark will keep his old Liberty and we will lend Gareth the money to buy a new Impreza. My Impreza will then come back home to my garage where I can watch it and count the days until I can drive it again. I know it is good that it is being driven, and I know he will be super careful but remember this is the child that wrote his own car off just before Christmas because he wasnt concentrating on what he was doing. I just dont think about it most of the time.
On books I have finished two books in the last three days. I had started both books in December but was having trouble reading them. Since the first operation in May, my brain has been like a little grasshopper - springing from one thing to another, never completing anything. Decided to knuckle down and either:
Read the ends and return
Just return
Read them
After exploring the first idea, discounted and decided to make myself read them. I am glad that I did because I felt almost normal again when I realised that I was really enjoying them and didnt want to put them down to eat or cook.
The were
The Secret Scripture by Sebastian Barry and
What my bestfriend did by Lucy Dawson
Both completely different books which I guess shows my eclectic tastes.
So armed with the book reviews from an old Notebook magazine (Nov 2005) I checked out the local library for copies.
These books are
Julie and Julia by Julie Powell
Veuve Taylor by Henrietta Taylor
A Thousand Days in Venice by Marlena de Blasi
Ahead is a busy weekend. We are going to see "Wicked" tomorrow night. Then on Sunday there is a 60th birthday golf day (not for me to attend unfortunately as I think I would be a hindrance although I could sit in the clubhouse) and later a farewell for an elderly neighbour (she would hate that I described her as that) who has sold her house and is moving to the Mornington Peninsula to be nearer her daughter. This woman taught both my children to swim oh so many years ago. I still have a video of Gareth saying, "I'll try Mrs X, I'll try" in a plaintive little voice when she asked him to dog paddle across the pool and as for Jess the first time she was taken into the pool she screamed so much that a neighbour rang to see who was being murdered in the pool. Good times. Unfortunately her very fit and always active husband succumbed to Altzheimers over the last couple of years and is now in a home also on the peninsula. It is sad seeing the old neighbourhood change but change I know it will.
Anyway I'm off the iron. It takes my forever to iron sitting down but I eventually get there.
Thursday, January 07, 2010
101 things in 1001 days
I am a bit late starting this. I have read it on other blogs and stolen some other peoples ideas otherwise I would be here for 1001 days trying to complete this list.
Start Date: January 7, 2010
End Date: October 3, 2012
Completed: 0/101
1. Finish writing this 101 list by January 31, 2010
2. Clear out bookcase and donate books to local Lifeline charity
3. Donate clothing, high heeled shoes and bags to charity bins this summer
4. Call sisters once a week in next year (J 0/52) (D 0/52)
5. Remember friends and family's birthdays
6. Take a photo at the same time every day for a month
7. Reach final weight goal of 8kg less than I am now and stay there
8. Do a body composition test
9. Walk 10,000 steps a day starting from March 2010
10. Return to yoga in April
11. Return to pilates in March
12. Return to gym for at least 2 sessions per week starting March
13. Hire a personal trainer in March
14. Learn to meditate
15. Update my blog
16. Start making my own muesli again
17. Take a home-made lunch to work every day
18. Complete 101 recipes in 1001 days (0/101)
19. Eat at 10 new restaurants (0/10)
20. Keep a journal for every day of 2010
21. Go to a farmer's market
22. Go to Rozelle markets
23. Get tattoo
24. Have fish and chips on the beach at sunset
25. Go on a picnic
26. Do the Bondi – Coogee coast walk
27. Go to London, France and Italy with my main man
28. Get a massage
29. Get a pedicure every 6 weeks
30. Do a drumming workshop
31. Start quilting project and finish
32. Whip garden back into shape and keep it there
33. Harass builder about bifold doors onto deck
34. Expand my mini vegie garden
35. Paint christmas presents for friends
36. Make my own Christmas cards and have them ready to go
37. Walk across the harbour bridge
38. Do part or all of the 7 Bridges Walk in 2010
39. Take more pictures
40. Declutter my house one room at a time
41. Clear out boxes stored under my house - one box at a time
42. Redecorate the main bedroom
43. Organise/update of front verandah/front door
44. Read 34 books (0/34)
45. Visit the museum
46. Go to Canberra for art exhibition or floriade
47. Visit the art gallery of nsw
48. Go the ballet
49. Visit Anne in NZ
50. Visit Anne (different one) in Qld
51. Bottle my own italian tomato sauce
52. Become a WIRES volunteer
53. Travel the Farmgate route
54. Go to pictures at least 6 times a year (0/6)
55. Organise and rationalise cookbooks
56. Take off makeup and cleanse every single day
57. Give away/donate old videos
58. Reorganise cookware cupboard with better shelving
59. Coffee with daughter at least once a week when she is not working or away on holidays
60. Visit Tasmania
61. Visit Margaret River
62. Count alcohol free days
63. Drink 2 litres of water a day (0/1001)
64. Update this list each month
65. Host one dinner party/bbq per month in 2010 (6 people minimum)
to be continued
There will be more but I have spent enough time in front of the computer today. This is harder than I thought it would be but I can see the benefits of doing this. If you havent already made a list, start today.
Start Date: January 7, 2010
End Date: October 3, 2012
Completed: 0/101
1. Finish writing this 101 list by January 31, 2010
2. Clear out bookcase and donate books to local Lifeline charity
3. Donate clothing, high heeled shoes and bags to charity bins this summer
4. Call sisters once a week in next year (J 0/52) (D 0/52)
5. Remember friends and family's birthdays
6. Take a photo at the same time every day for a month
7. Reach final weight goal of 8kg less than I am now and stay there
8. Do a body composition test
9. Walk 10,000 steps a day starting from March 2010
10. Return to yoga in April
11. Return to pilates in March
12. Return to gym for at least 2 sessions per week starting March
13. Hire a personal trainer in March
14. Learn to meditate
15. Update my blog
16. Start making my own muesli again
17. Take a home-made lunch to work every day
18. Complete 101 recipes in 1001 days (0/101)
19. Eat at 10 new restaurants (0/10)
20. Keep a journal for every day of 2010
21. Go to a farmer's market
22. Go to Rozelle markets
23. Get tattoo
24. Have fish and chips on the beach at sunset
25. Go on a picnic
26. Do the Bondi – Coogee coast walk
27. Go to London, France and Italy with my main man
28. Get a massage
29. Get a pedicure every 6 weeks
30. Do a drumming workshop
31. Start quilting project and finish
32. Whip garden back into shape and keep it there
33. Harass builder about bifold doors onto deck
34. Expand my mini vegie garden
35. Paint christmas presents for friends
36. Make my own Christmas cards and have them ready to go
37. Walk across the harbour bridge
38. Do part or all of the 7 Bridges Walk in 2010
39. Take more pictures
40. Declutter my house one room at a time
41. Clear out boxes stored under my house - one box at a time
42. Redecorate the main bedroom
43. Organise/update of front verandah/front door
44. Read 34 books (0/34)
45. Visit the museum
46. Go to Canberra for art exhibition or floriade
47. Visit the art gallery of nsw
48. Go the ballet
49. Visit Anne in NZ
50. Visit Anne (different one) in Qld
51. Bottle my own italian tomato sauce
52. Become a WIRES volunteer
53. Travel the Farmgate route
54. Go to pictures at least 6 times a year (0/6)
55. Organise and rationalise cookbooks
56. Take off makeup and cleanse every single day
57. Give away/donate old videos
58. Reorganise cookware cupboard with better shelving
59. Coffee with daughter at least once a week when she is not working or away on holidays
60. Visit Tasmania
61. Visit Margaret River
62. Count alcohol free days
63. Drink 2 litres of water a day (0/1001)
64. Update this list each month
65. Host one dinner party/bbq per month in 2010 (6 people minimum)
to be continued
There will be more but I have spent enough time in front of the computer today. This is harder than I thought it would be but I can see the benefits of doing this. If you havent already made a list, start today.
Wednesday, January 06, 2010
Dark Moments
Last night or more accurately early this morning as I wandered the house, turned the air conditioner on and off, played with my DS, read a little, lay on the lounge I was thinking once again about being overweight yet again and about going to a wedding in Townsville in April.
I actually thought to myself - when March comes and I am up and around again I will lose this extra flab.
Then a moment of clarity and honesty - who am I kidding. In the 6 weeks I will have I wont be able to do it. I am not superwoman, I am getting older and therefore the weight is harder to dislodge. I have to start now. I have to take some sort of responsibility now, not later, not in 6 weeks time - NOW.
But I dont want to diet. I dont want to count points or track. These two things are things that set me up for failure and the spiral back to feeling hopeless again.
Well I've told you the donts but I really dont know what the dos are or more accurately the dos that I will be able to do.
I know I have to cut down on the amount I eat. Stop the mindless snacking (thank goodness all the Christmas food has just about gone). Eat more fresh fruit and vegetables. Drink more water. Limit alcohol intake.
Devise some sort of exercise program that I can do sitting or lying down.
I know what I have to do - the test is doing it. Part of me really really wants to but part of me doesnt.
That is the part that sat on the lounge early this morning crying about the fact that I wanted my life back. Just one of those moments when everything seemed at its blackest. It has passed. I am calm again.
I have a few ideas about coping but I wont bore you with them unless I do them and they work.
I actually thought to myself - when March comes and I am up and around again I will lose this extra flab.
Then a moment of clarity and honesty - who am I kidding. In the 6 weeks I will have I wont be able to do it. I am not superwoman, I am getting older and therefore the weight is harder to dislodge. I have to start now. I have to take some sort of responsibility now, not later, not in 6 weeks time - NOW.
But I dont want to diet. I dont want to count points or track. These two things are things that set me up for failure and the spiral back to feeling hopeless again.
Well I've told you the donts but I really dont know what the dos are or more accurately the dos that I will be able to do.
I know I have to cut down on the amount I eat. Stop the mindless snacking (thank goodness all the Christmas food has just about gone). Eat more fresh fruit and vegetables. Drink more water. Limit alcohol intake.
Devise some sort of exercise program that I can do sitting or lying down.
I know what I have to do - the test is doing it. Part of me really really wants to but part of me doesnt.
That is the part that sat on the lounge early this morning crying about the fact that I wanted my life back. Just one of those moments when everything seemed at its blackest. It has passed. I am calm again.
I have a few ideas about coping but I wont bore you with them unless I do them and they work.
Sunday, January 03, 2010
Going quietly mad
You may have noticed that I am posting a little bit more lately. I am going slightly mad sitting here unable to exercise or do anything around the house.
Sounds good doesnt it and it is in theory but I am going stir crazy.
Anyway I have changed my picture today which was relatively easy for me (luddite that I am) and I have an email into Zanna about changing the template on my blog.
I have been researching new hairstyles and think when I am finally released from home detention I will go with a tapered bob like Ellen Barkins. The good thing is to achieve this style my hair needs to grow a bit and since I cant get out that is what it is doing. My hairdresser has actually offered to come and cut my hair for me but I think I will sit it out.
Also I come from the age when you were younger you used to pluck your eyebrows to within an inch of their hairy little lives. Guess what, something I didnt know then but know now - after a certain age they dont grow back and actually disappear especially if you are fair. So I have started practising how to draw them in lightly. I must admit I think it looks strange but I feel that by the time I go back to work I will be used to it.
My gorgeous GOM (grumpy old man) has started downloading all his personal emails off his work email account. This retirement talk is starting to look serious. I wonder if, when it does happen, he will mind if I leave him a list of jobs to be done every day. I might just share my jobs list with him and tell him to feel free to do anything off it while I'm not there. Sounds like a plan and when it happens I will let you know how it goes.
He changed the sheets on the bed this morning and we had a discussion about what colour sheets he should put back on the bed. I told him to pick any colour as I just didnt care at the moment (I really can be very picky about colour coordination and I am sure he thought it was a trap). I told him it was his choice until I was well enough to do it myself and told me I was obviously well enough to hinder him. Whatever!
Last September some girlfriends gave my a gift voucher for Jacqui E and I have been in an out several times but couldnt find anything that I wanted. Jess snuck past enemy lines last week (I cant remember which day as they are all the same at the moment) and liberated me for a short time by taking me to the local mall for coffee. We also went to Jacqui E and I got two tops and a pretty cardigan for a little bit more than the gift voucher. One of the tops was reduced from $99.95 to $19.95. Makes you wonder doesnt it how much it originally cost to make. I might be wrong and they might be selling it at a loss to clear the stock but as I am old and cynical I doubt it.
At the moment he is outside, in the rain, mowing the back lawn because the grass is too long for Lucy the Wonderdog. When she absolutely has to go outside in the damp she prances around on tippytoes. Amazing and funny to watch.
Anyway I am off to make GOM's life a misery again. So much time and so little to do.
Sounds good doesnt it and it is in theory but I am going stir crazy.
Anyway I have changed my picture today which was relatively easy for me (luddite that I am) and I have an email into Zanna about changing the template on my blog.
I have been researching new hairstyles and think when I am finally released from home detention I will go with a tapered bob like Ellen Barkins. The good thing is to achieve this style my hair needs to grow a bit and since I cant get out that is what it is doing. My hairdresser has actually offered to come and cut my hair for me but I think I will sit it out.
Also I come from the age when you were younger you used to pluck your eyebrows to within an inch of their hairy little lives. Guess what, something I didnt know then but know now - after a certain age they dont grow back and actually disappear especially if you are fair. So I have started practising how to draw them in lightly. I must admit I think it looks strange but I feel that by the time I go back to work I will be used to it.
My gorgeous GOM (grumpy old man) has started downloading all his personal emails off his work email account. This retirement talk is starting to look serious. I wonder if, when it does happen, he will mind if I leave him a list of jobs to be done every day. I might just share my jobs list with him and tell him to feel free to do anything off it while I'm not there. Sounds like a plan and when it happens I will let you know how it goes.
He changed the sheets on the bed this morning and we had a discussion about what colour sheets he should put back on the bed. I told him to pick any colour as I just didnt care at the moment (I really can be very picky about colour coordination and I am sure he thought it was a trap). I told him it was his choice until I was well enough to do it myself and told me I was obviously well enough to hinder him. Whatever!
Last September some girlfriends gave my a gift voucher for Jacqui E and I have been in an out several times but couldnt find anything that I wanted. Jess snuck past enemy lines last week (I cant remember which day as they are all the same at the moment) and liberated me for a short time by taking me to the local mall for coffee. We also went to Jacqui E and I got two tops and a pretty cardigan for a little bit more than the gift voucher. One of the tops was reduced from $99.95 to $19.95. Makes you wonder doesnt it how much it originally cost to make. I might be wrong and they might be selling it at a loss to clear the stock but as I am old and cynical I doubt it.
At the moment he is outside, in the rain, mowing the back lawn because the grass is too long for Lucy the Wonderdog. When she absolutely has to go outside in the damp she prances around on tippytoes. Amazing and funny to watch.
Anyway I am off to make GOM's life a misery again. So much time and so little to do.
Friday, January 01, 2010
Happy New Year
Well, here we are in 2010. I wish all of you who I really count as dear friends a wonderful one.
Christmas was good to me. I got the new Stephanie Alexander cookbook, a Japanese maple bonsai and wait for it.....
a new iMac.
Gareth says that I have restored his faith in Christmas. He said that a lot of the excitement has gone out of Christmas because everyone seems to know what they are getting except for me and the computer. The history is that Mark is hopeless at buying presents which is partly my fault because usually when I want something I just get it and it doesnt leave a lot of scope for present buying. And I thought that we weren't buying presents this year as we have bought tickets to the Carol King/James Taylor concert at Hope Estate in the Hunter at Easter so I thought that would do.
On Christmas morning we went up to Jess's for breakfast and I got my cookbook and bonsai and I was happy. Mark had gone out and bought himself Christmas presents since I couldnt get out and brought them home and I wrapped them and put them under the tree. After everyone had opened their presents Jess carried this big box over to me and I was to say the least surprised. When I opened it I was astounded. I needed a new computer but I didnt think I was going to get a Mac. I had suggested buying one a couple of weeks ago to replace my laptop but was told no. Sneaky bastard.
Anyway I have spent the past 10 days playing with my new computer. Have transferred my iTunes and photos from pc. Have established a calendar (iCal) which now has everyones birthdays in it as automatic reminders. The only thing I haven't done is transfer my working files as I have not bought the office software yet. I can get it cheaply through work but have to wait until school goes back at the end of this month. Worth the wait and I can still use by pc if I have to.
Last night, new years eve, was spent at the golf club. A friend, who wasn't coming with us as he had decided on a quiet night at home, offered to drive us there. He turned up in a tuxedo, chauffeur's hat and black dress thongs (footwear). When we got out the front of our house in the driveway he opened his boot and pulled out two chairs, a small table, champagne, beer and a dip and crackers. It was a lovely and hilarious start to the night.
(Hooray I managed to upload a picture - I love my mac!)
Anyway I had better be off as we have had a rather late start to the day. Am working on ideas for what I would like to achieve this year - mainly trying to get through this year without having to go to hospital again would be lovely but that is something that is beyond my control so I am concentrating on things I can control.
Love to you all - happy new year
xxx
Christmas was good to me. I got the new Stephanie Alexander cookbook, a Japanese maple bonsai and wait for it.....
a new iMac.
Gareth says that I have restored his faith in Christmas. He said that a lot of the excitement has gone out of Christmas because everyone seems to know what they are getting except for me and the computer. The history is that Mark is hopeless at buying presents which is partly my fault because usually when I want something I just get it and it doesnt leave a lot of scope for present buying. And I thought that we weren't buying presents this year as we have bought tickets to the Carol King/James Taylor concert at Hope Estate in the Hunter at Easter so I thought that would do.
On Christmas morning we went up to Jess's for breakfast and I got my cookbook and bonsai and I was happy. Mark had gone out and bought himself Christmas presents since I couldnt get out and brought them home and I wrapped them and put them under the tree. After everyone had opened their presents Jess carried this big box over to me and I was to say the least surprised. When I opened it I was astounded. I needed a new computer but I didnt think I was going to get a Mac. I had suggested buying one a couple of weeks ago to replace my laptop but was told no. Sneaky bastard.
Anyway I have spent the past 10 days playing with my new computer. Have transferred my iTunes and photos from pc. Have established a calendar (iCal) which now has everyones birthdays in it as automatic reminders. The only thing I haven't done is transfer my working files as I have not bought the office software yet. I can get it cheaply through work but have to wait until school goes back at the end of this month. Worth the wait and I can still use by pc if I have to.
Last night, new years eve, was spent at the golf club. A friend, who wasn't coming with us as he had decided on a quiet night at home, offered to drive us there. He turned up in a tuxedo, chauffeur's hat and black dress thongs (footwear). When we got out the front of our house in the driveway he opened his boot and pulled out two chairs, a small table, champagne, beer and a dip and crackers. It was a lovely and hilarious start to the night. (Hooray I managed to upload a picture - I love my mac!)
Anyway I had better be off as we have had a rather late start to the day. Am working on ideas for what I would like to achieve this year - mainly trying to get through this year without having to go to hospital again would be lovely but that is something that is beyond my control so I am concentrating on things I can control.
Love to you all - happy new year
xxx
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