Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Honesty Time

Okay honesty time.

I am half way through reading your blogs and marvelling at how well you are doing and even if your not, how you are motivating yourselves and feeling really honoured to be linked to you guys.

I am a fraud. I have been out of control this week. God knows how many points I have been consuming daily but it is lots.

I havent wanted to blog because of this. I have just been reading and sometimes commenting. All your good words seem to go in one ear and out the other.

Tomorrow is weigh in day (my first since beginning of January) and I can tell you all now that there will be a gain.

If you have been reading my journal for a while you will know that I am a control freak when it comes to home and work. I have lists and I like everything to be neat and orderly. It takes a lot for me to do things on the spur of the moment (drives DH mad).

Well after 6 weeks on crutches I am attempting to get the house back in order. I vacuumed and dusted our bedroom on Monday (filled the vacuum cleaner in one go). The lounge/dining room was last night and tonight is the family room.

Because of office renovations at work it is chaos there with everything moved and am unable to find anything. I have been fielding phone calls from teachers wanting their information and getting fed up with having to explain about the office situation. Everyone is really nice BUT it is driving me loopy.

As a result I have been getting stuck into the chocolates and biscuits at work (for some reason the fridge is full of chocolate mini Mars Bars etc) and the dips and bread at home.

I cant exercise (not even walk Lucy) because my back is sore and my legs are aching. I know it is all muscular but I really want to exercise and cant.

Im feeling overweight and bloated. Not drinking enough water (no where near 1 litre let alone 3 litres a day).

I marvel at people who eat their fill and leave some on the plate. I dont think I could ever do that. It may be my upbringing I dont know. People who can stop at one piece of cake or one chocolate (my family are like that - mind you none of them have a weight problem).

Im fed up and whingey. It is hot and horrible. I feel like I am 80 years old or more. I wish I didnt feel this way but I do.

I also know it will pass (hopefully soon).

I think I will now retreat to my cave (if men can do this so can women) and regroup to maybe fight another day.
:o(

9 comments:

  1. Hopefully you will start feeling better soon! I know it's taken me forever to get back into things after Christmas - New Year and it's still not easy. Must be hard not being able to exercise - hang in there and take care:)

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  2. You are being really hard on yourself. Your focus in the last weeks has had to be about recovery. It's so hard to be "good" with weight loss when it can't be our main focus and with what you have been through, it couldn't be.Now you are off crutches and getting everything at home and work back to your standard you will be able to regroup and start again.
    As far as being a fraud and having trouble stopping at one piece - join the ranks Julie, we wouldn't all have these weight loss blogs if we weren't all like that!!!!
    I hope that tomorrow sees you coming back out of your cave feeling brighter, happier and not 80 years old!!!!
    xxxx

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  3. A big hug over to you. You've been through so much already this year, I'm not surprised you're feeling out of whack. But you know you will get through it.
    I don't think women would ever retreat to anything as dark and smelly (and dirty!) as a cave - we'll have to come up with a nice alternative. Maybe a walk-in wardrobe...

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  4. Oh Julie you are just doing what many of us have been doing...hoepfully you have been to weigh in, get it over with and then move forward. I understand about not blogging when we are being bad as I do the sam ething. Silly isn't it especially as many of us are doing the sme thing so we understand. Don't be mad at yourself but just start again...Lots of hugs. Lets make a pact to lose next week?

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  5. I hope you are feeling better and that weigh went as well as expected *hugs*. I don't like blogging much when I feel this way either but I hope it feels like a weight (excuse the pun) has been lifted so you can move forward.

    In terms of leaving stuff on a plate, I never do but most of the time I make sure that I'm never served more than a healthy portion. I don't like wastage either but don't let that be an excuse for scoffing the lot. Do you cook? I mainly cook my meals and I never cook more than I need for my partner and I. I hope this helps?

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  6. Hope you're feeling better Julie! It's hard to get back on track sometimes.

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  7. Hope you are feeling much better and that weigh in wasn't as bad as you thought. Even if it was, don't give up. Everyone has a few bad days, but the main thing is to pick yourself up, don't look back, look forward to your goal and you WILL get there.
    Take care xx

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  8. Oh Julie. I am so sorry you are feeling this way. Combined with your leg, your work, and your frustrations about not being able to "do it all" you must be going mad. But I have to agree with Lesley and say I think you are being hard on yourself. You are amazing that you have handled being on crutches as well as you have. And by the comments you leave you have done it with a good deal of humour.

    I am really excited about meeting up with you on Saturday and we can compare lists and jobs that still need doing and if need be we can each give each other a kick in the tail. But no fair if you have crutches or a cast on LOL

    Hope you have a good day today and a brilliant week :D

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  9. Oh, I have had a terrible time of it as of late because of two stressful situations I have been dealing with that I will write about later this week.

    Hang in there and when you get off track simply get back on and look forward.

    Gabreael

    http://gabreaelsbodymindandspirit.blogspot.com/

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