Accountability

I hope that I too can be accountable to myself on this frustratingly long journey.

I didnt realise how tired I have been until M asked me would it be okay to have some people over on Saturday night. He was checking because he knows how tired I have been getting. Bone crushingly tired by the end of the week and the end of the week seems to be coming earlier and earlier.

Am off to GP today to talk to her about it. I wanted to go last week but she was away. I need to talk to her about the blood test from a few weeks ago re the anemia. I came to the realisation that the call I got from the rheumotologist's reception was very unsatisfactory and answered none of my questions except that it wasnt caused by lack of iron. I can't believe it took me weeks to realise this - I can be such a drongo. A friend suggested I get my thyroid checked out too so I will ask. It is lovely having friends in the same age bracket - we all seem to be going through similar things.

Made a couple of small changes this week - forced myself out of bed on both Saturday and Sunday (with the mantra in my head that I could go back there once I got home again) and Lucy and I went walking. Just short walking but I was mobile. This is probably the first exercise I have done in nearly 7 weeks due to the tendon damage that I think I did. Just took time and rest to heal itself. I will wear my MBTs again but maybe not on my Lucy walks which is a shame because they did make me feel like I could walk forever. It is such a lovely walking motion but anyway, preservation has to come first. We have also walked both mornings this week too.

I am going back to the gym again tomorrow afternoon after work and will start doing upper body work mainly. Only once a week to start with. I think I did too much last time and really paid the price of sore and overworked muscles. Time to find a happy medium.

Weight has still been climbing. I know I have been eating too much again. I was fooling myself that I would have a big breakfast, a medium lunch and a small dinner but it never worked out. And I have to stop snacking because I dont have that stop mechanism that most people have. I am sure sometimes I could eat until I exploded, patch myself up and come back for more.

On the home front: M is still wearing himself out sanding the deck back and restaining. I dont quite know what all the rush is about unless he knows something that I don't. Anyway he off to the Hunter tomorrow to play golf.

G is starting to make serious noises about his new/old girlfriend. Maybe second time around they will make it.

J is in LA at the moment. They spent yesterday at Venice beach and the sights had her wishing that she had brought her SLR. She absolutely loved the place even though I remember it as a fairly tacky place. She probably sees it through different eyes. She is a really good photographer and takes some amazing photos. She had a great time in Las Vegas and went for a helicopter ride over the Grand Canyon. She is off to Vancouver in a couple of days. She has heard from her friend there that it is snowing in Whistler so she is looking forward to that. She absolutely loves what she has seen of the US and is talking about her and Marc going back there in the future and visiting the east coast.

In general: I just read the eulogy by Mona Simpson on her biological brother, Steve Jobs. It was so moving and if I knew how I would put a link in here but I sure that if you are interested you will be able to find it. It appeared online in today's edition of the Sydney Morning Herald.

Today is Melbourne Cup day! If you have a bet or are in an office sweep I hope your horse does well. It really is the "race that stops a nation". Have you ever driven on the road when it is on. The place is like a ghost town.

Enjoy the rest of the week - I am going to start adding links to my posts next week to others who have inspired me and why. That is as soon as I work out how.

Take care